How do I meet girls and start up conversations with them? I feel

>>39345739
get ripped and learn PUA tactics if you really want this

also, sauce on dat qt pls

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>>39345739
I'm in pretty much the same situation. I have no idea how to start a conversation or keep a relationship with someone. I don't think I've ever even approached someone like that, God knows what the hell to talk about.

>>39345825
I'm in the process of getting ripped. I'm already a friggin skeleton man so making gains is really what I wanna do. Also I don't wanna do that PUA shit.

Girl is here according to google https://twitter.com/augfrogg?lang=en

>>39345873
Pretty much. I have no idea how to start. I can keep relationships when I get them going, but up until this point in my life it's just been sheer chance that I even meet girls. I want to up my chances.

>>39345917
>I don't wanna do that PUA shit.
why not?

thanks on the sauce, too bad she looks like a massive bitch now

>>39345985
Cause I'm not out to 'neg' girls, or fuck with their self-esteem or whatever else. I'm also not looking to just pick up a million pussies, just meet some legit women and see if we get along well.

>>39345917

brah i started lifting like 3 months ago and the noob gains have been fierce. what used to be a pure stick arm is now a partially muscular stick arm, and it works wonders. keep at it, you can do it just like everyone else

in terms of talking to them, try to think about it from their perspective. imagine a conversation you'd have, now think about it from the opposite perspective. imagine how you'd react to a random girl saying stuff to you (if you were chad). it's all about not getting into your head and just attempting to actually speak sentences without tripping yourself up. they don't expect you to walk up, drop your 12 incher on the table, and deliver a perfectly crafted and smooth pickup line.

i won't lie though, as a fellow autist it's hard to actually have the conversations/not trip yourself up about it. but i've accidentally found my way into multiple girls' pants by attempting to just not be autistic. i guess it kind of sounds like a more in depth "b urself lol" but it goes further than that

>>39345739
I have never seen anyone just randomly approach a girl on the street or campus, not even chads.
I personally would feel like I am just bothering them while they are going tabout their business but who knows. Maybe if you are handsome they wouldn't mind.

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>>39345917
How do you get relationships going? Also girls are not worth it to be friends with imo, at least not very close

>>39346106
this

the optimal play is to become acquaintances with them, and then they hover around until they eventually come around and perform regrettable sexual acts for you, then you never talk to them again unless they want to do it more

>>39346106
Not him.
>girls are not worth it to be friends with imo, at least not very close
I've got the opposite feeling. The friends that become lovers thing is the only relationship worth having. A girl once told me to read past the cover before I buy a book. That was some sage level advice. I want to know what the girl is really like before I ever end up going on a date with them. The only way to do that is to become close friends first. Getting my hopes up just to realize I got duped by first impressions is the worst.

>>39345739
Your attraction to women is based on treacherous hormones trying to convince you to have children. You will be far happier pursuing your life goals than a basic bitch.

>>39346049
>Cause I'm not out to 'neg' girls, or fuck with their self-esteem or whatever else

PUA is basic self-help stuff about how to operate in social situations. I don't know why people get the idea that you should insult or abuse women.

>>39346260
You may be right, but keep in mind that when you're friends with a girl, she has plenty of other guys she is talking with, and once she chooses it will be too late to advance. That's why said male shouldn't waste time pursuing a female for that kind of "friendship". There's still competition. I've been through this shit

>>39346260
>The friends that become lovers thing is the only relationship worth having.

Also it doesn't exist. Women see "friends" and "lovers" as completely different categories, no overlap. A lover is supposed to fuck and protect her, he's supposed to be above her. You can't be on her level, sharing hobbies and talking about gay shit, and still expect her to be attracted to you.

>>39346486
Then I have no use for her. My standards are only unrealistic because I'm surrounded by crazy people.

>talk to a girl normally like anyone else
>make them laugh and stuff
>she shows interest in me
>suddenly i become extremely beta, don't know what to talk about
>turn into a stone
>they think i'm not interested and stop talking to me

How do I fix this?

>>39346651
They stop talking to you because you're boring, not because they think you aren't interested. Keep the confident banter flowing, or you lose.

>>39346408
Okay, link me to something like that then. All I've seen from PUA stuff is shitty pickup lines, 'negging', fucking with girls to get them to like you, really robotic and mean-spirited shit. Like there's a time to be playful and pick on someone a bit but some of those 'techniques' is just going to get you girls with some serious issues.

>>39346080
I've only been at it for a month or two. The noob gains are getting decent I guess. I don't think I'm going quite as hard as I should either, I need to step it up.

My issue is I do try to imagine it from the opposite perspective and I always find myself seeming like a weirdo. Like what kind of dude just walks up to a chick and starts chatting at school. I guess it doesn't help that I find random people chatting to me really awkward and invasive. My first thoughts are like "why are you talking to me, go away". I'm probably projecting that onto other people pretty hard.

>>39346086
Right? I'm definitely not handsome. So there has to be a more natural way to start this than to just randomly creep up on people.

>>39346106
I met one girl over the internet and we worked out some sexual frustration on each other. She's like a million miles away though so it doesn't really work long-term. Another girl I met was entirely through friends and acquaintances . Her backyard was like the hangout spot for a bunch of my friends for a while. We fooled around for a bit and then I think she got bored of me, I wasn't all that into her in the end either. We're still good friends though cause she is a pretty good person.

>>39346305
I'm doing that and my future seems pretty sad still. I'm trying to do my best to love myself and be happy alone, cause who wants a clingy sad dude? I'm pretty depressed about myself a lot of the time though, so it's tough.

>>39346697
Yeah idk how though once I realize I might have a shot I clam up.

>>39346734
This is why people go to clubs/bars/parties where its accepted to talk to strangers.

>>39346734
>I'm doing that and my future seems pretty sad still. I'm trying to do my best to love myself and be happy alone, cause who wants a clingy sad dude? I'm pretty depressed about myself a lot of the time though, so it's tough.
you are going about this in the wrong order
you will not attract a good woman while you are lost and sad, first you must improve yourself, then you can find a gf

>>39346841
Ye, I know that much. I've changed my life around a bunch in the last few months to try and feel less shitty. Sometimes it works and sometimes I still feel like ass, not even for a good reason necessarily. Probably have depression or some shit.

>>39346837
Yep, that seems to be one of the few spots that even makes sense, I just don't have any friends to go with (they're all weird nerds too) so I'd be that dude that's all by himself and that's kinda weird. The main thing that sucks about that is I doubt the kind of girls that I'd really like and that would really like me would hit up bars and clubs. Haven't been to a party in years, shit sucks.

>>39346734
You already made your mind up about PUA, and you wouldn't want to understand the material even if I linked you to it.

Most of it is innocent stuff about body language, not underselling yourself, not apologizing all the time, showing assertiveness, etc. Nothing mean about that whatsoever.
Shit like "negging" works, because it requires a confident, charming delivery. If you come off as mean-spirited, you're not doing it right. The point is to be the opposite of clingy and spineless.

>>39346817
I would tell you, but I am the same way. I usually eject the conversation and leave, so I don't make an ass of myself. I'm afraid of silence when I'm talking to women, but I'm even more afraid of saying something boring.

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>>39347091
But anon, I have no style, I have no grace. I can't just will the autism gone.

>>39345739
op you need to approach them with the intent to befriend them, act like you're the friendly gay man out there, be flamboyantly friendly and funny. watch conan (the show) and act like him. you will get 100 years worth of pussy

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>>39345739
Have you tried just being yourself yet OP?

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>>39347213
Funny thing is I used to be that way when I was younger, made tons of friends, probably would have been a pussy destroyer if I kept it up. Then puberty crushed my spirit.

>>39347185
I'm not saying you're supposed to will it away. PUA (and similar self-help) is social interaction training, not magical seduction spells. You're forcing yourself into MULTIPLE social interactions for practice.

>>39347213
>friendly
>funny

welcome to the friend-zone, faggot

>>39347348
Okay, fair point. I guess I want to find some ways to step out of my bubble, but not all at once so I can keep my spaghetti in my pockets. I want to ease myself into more and more social situations, I'm just not sure how to start or progress.

>>39347297
I'm kinda 'meh' personality wise. I want to find ways to be more exciting, but it's hard when I'm not very excited about most stuff deep down. Most things I find interesting or cool to do are really god damn boring to basically everyone, even my friends.

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>>39347297
I'm being myself. If I am not being me and i meet a women it is totally unsustainable. Better to be yourself and wait for the few and far between clicking moments, which lay the basis for a strong future relationship. It hasn't really worked out for me yet but I'm confident it will.

>>39347624
You know what's up man. If you fake it then it'll all just fall apart eventually anyway. If they like who you are then you don't even have to try to impress them, they'll just enjoy being with you. There's no point in being a fake unless you're already planning on throwing them away.

>>39347389
kid, sometimes the spaghetti's gotta spill.

>>39348053
*spaghetti flavored anxiety intensifies*

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>>39347624
>>39347691
This is a common sentiment I see and one I used to hold, and it's completely misguided. You're right, it's advisable not to completely "fake it", but when you're being yourself are you being your best self? Probably not, if you are on /r9k/. Probably you are being Yourself-in-a-pit-of-depression which nobody will find attractive or want the baggage of. You cannot undersell yourself, and that can be hard if you have nothing to prop yourself up on confidence wise.
Now some people realize that, but where they still go wrong is to take the narcissistic path of strictly "bettering themselves" to become more attractive and distinct to potential suitors. This can work, I'm sure, especially if powerlifting and French poetry are your hobbies, but for most of us self actualization is not that romantic to others.
What you do need to do is force yourself to be your best socially, reach out to people. Real life does not have a manic pixie dreamgirl for you waiting to see your vidya fanart to fall in love with you. Romantic relationships are social, you need to show people what you offer by putting your energy into treating people right. This is not the same as faking. You don't need to force laughs or lavish people in compliments or agree with everything they say. You need to be you at your best. Not you at low energy, not you quick to anger, not you shy or overbearing, you as the other person needs you. Because when you find someone you love this will all become much easier.

>>39345739
This chick looks like IRL Liz.

Find someone doing something that you think is neat and strike up a conversation with them about it.

>>39348397
I definitely get that. I'm going the 'self-actualizing' route to get myself in a state where I feel like I'm actually someone worth talking to. Then I'll be less likely to sell myself short and all of that. Once I get myself into some social situations I don't do too badly. I just haven't had any social situations with new people or new girls in literal years now. I feel like if I was going to parties or even hanging out with female classmates (if there was more than like 2 girls in my whole program...) then I'd stand a better chance. I mean, I tried to do that in one of my history classes, sat at a table with two nice girls, did a project with them, tried to see if we clicked, and it felt like they thought I was just some weird dude, so that didn't really fly. But damnit I tried at least. I need to find more things like that where I can just casually hang out, talk, meet people, make friends, or be introduced to new people. I'm not really the out-going type, which is my major downfall, I like to just be a hermit most of the time, super boring and unenticing, and it gives me about zero chance of meeting people. I'm a bit of a weirdo and like dancing around to music, so I was considering taking some dance classes so I can at least get my groove on and feel funky and know I don't look like a total sperg.

>don't go out much
>only place to meet women is online
>well over 300 rejections this year alone
>go to airport to pick someone up
>see gorgeous woman that looks like shes in my league
>can't think of a fucking thing to say to her

still thinking about her three days later.

WHY COULDN'T I THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY.
COULDN'T THINK OF A FUNNY OR INSIGHTFUL COMMENT ABOUT OUR SURROUNDINGS
THOUGHT ASKING WHO SHES WAITING FOR IS TOO FORWARD AND REALLY OBVIOUS I'M TRYING TO HIT ON HER

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.

>>39348838
>I definitely get that. I'm going the 'self-actualizing' route to get myself in a state where I feel like I'm actually someone worth talking to.
You're a human being. You're already worth talking to. This kind of thinking is procrastination and masturbatory excuse making. No matter how much you invest into X or Y it won't give you social confidence. It can give you something to brag about, which is generally speaking a repulsive trait in people. It is narcissism to think people care that much about your persona, your abilities. Think about how you view yourself, then about how you view others. We know people intuitively, or through our experiences with them, not as stat sheets like we know ourselves. A socialable virgin with no experience whatsoever will do better with a woman than an antisocial who has tons of skills and experiences.

We all think we can be rockstars and pull groupies who love us for what we can do, not who we are, but not only is that unlikely, it's probably not what you really want.

>>39348924
Well, you could've been like
"Hey, this airport sure has... planes" and then wanted to kill yourself later anyway.
>>39348972
Okay definitely some good points. But I think it's more for me than for them. I'm not gonna be like "I 420 no-scoped 18 people in 20 seconds on CS:GO, are you totally creaming yourself?", I just want to feel like I give a fuck about myself enough to not give a fuck about what other people think. I need that water off a duck's back feeling when it comes to socially rough or stupid situations. I just eat myself up inside right now and that's no good at all. I really dislike narcissistic people and do my very best to not brag about things like they make me something special, cause who gives a shit really? I think I might go a bit far in the other direction even, thinking there's nothing special about me, so who would even care? I'm trying to strike a bit of a balance. I know I'm not special, I just want to like myself enough for other people to like me as well. Otherwise I feel like I'm just handing them a bag of shitty problems that nobody wants to deal with. People have enough issues without having to deal with my shit. So I want to deal with myself and get my mental state in a better place. A happy place of giving no fucks and just being cool with myself.

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I'm 26 years old and I've never talked to women/girls, I've never had a friendship with a woman/girl and I've never been on a date with a woman/girl. I've never had a woman/girl take interest in me.

I feel deep regret. It hurts more as each day passes.

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>>39346305
>love isnt real wubba lubba poopoopeepee

>>39349234
It's tough. Getting older just makes things harder too, which really sucks. I thought I was going to be a forever alone virgin for life myself until I found a weird girl on the internet and we had some fun together. Losing my v-card helped my confidence a lot cause I was super worried about how I'd be in bed. I avoided so many opportunities because of that it's seriously sad. Now I mostly get sad that I missed the horniest years of my life and never got laid then. I gotta wonder if it really would've been that much better. Fuckin' probably, knowing my luck.

Still, sex isn't even that great desu, it's finding a girl you connect with in some way and then making each other feel good, sexually and in life, that's where it's at. That's what I'm looking for.

>>39349404
desu senpai baka desu desu desu

>>39349130
>I just want to feel like I give a fuck about myself enough to not give a fuck about what other people think.
But when will you be satisfied? Nobody gets past giving a fuck what people think of them. You need to learn to accept rejection, accept your flaws and keep rolling, not build your armor up against it or try to patch every hole you see. This will only lead to greater pain when someone does poke a hole in your perfected self. (and they are bound to eventually)