>tfw undiagnosed schitzophrenia and a plethora of other mental

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>>39271140
>only friends are my tulpas
>the only reason i have a will to live are because of research chemical anti-depressants that will be outlawed soon

>>39271140
I'm not psychotic but I have pretty severe personality disorder. Like an avoidant-narcissistic hybrid. The Dr didn't even know what to call it

>>39271215
>The Dr didn't even know what to call it
that's both scary but not surprising for some reason.

>>39271140
>undiagnosed
then how the fuck do you know

all I know is that I'm seriously a long way from being normal yet I'm able to keep up the facade pretty well despite it occasionally slipping

if people could take a look inside my head and see my thought processes they would be terrified

>>39271260
how does anybody know?

You tell a doctor what's wrong and he gives you what fits that description. I simply used the internet instead of a doctor.

>>39271304
that was me for a little while but I simply realized unless I have a good reason to care about my facade I might as well get my excuses on paper so the normies will back the fuck off.

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>>39271243
He's told me he's never met anyone like me. I don't know if I'm fucked or just different. I feel fine when I'm by myself, but I'm not good with people unless I have dominance over them

>>39271384
> I'm not good with people unless I have dominance over them

yes that is truly a disorder and you need to get rid of those unsavory tendencies perhaps a nice estrogen smoothie will calm you down.

>>39271326
The problem with self diagnosis is that its often wish fulfillment. You want to have these problems because it'll help explain your poor social skills. You should seek professional diagnosis because you need that impartiality.

>>39271140
What makes you think you have schizo anon?
In most cases when schizos get psychotic they think they are saner than anyone else, possibly the only sane person left, with everyone else being insane, but certainly not them being mentally ill? So I kinda doubt your self diagnosis..

>in any case if you suspect you are schizo, as it is different for different individuals, you might want to see an actual doctor about it, get a proper diagnosis and get on meds

-t. a diagnosed schizophrenic

>>39271140
youre not schizophrenic i can tell by the way you type. you are probably borderline stress can cause hallucinations, and because it makes you dramatic that causes you to claim schizophrenica because of those hallucinations.

>>39271427
I'm not very good with people I know that, I just think these issues are objective problems.

>>39271493
my hallucinations don't go away though

I noticed a real change in my thought process to my particular state

>>39271140
I know I have some mental disorders, but as long as I maintain the correct conditions in my surroundings, I can keep it under control. I go back and forth thinking about getting on disability, but that would mean I'd have to get diagnosed and my life would be over thanks to (((their))) pills effectively giving me a chemical lobotomy. I can't maintain having a job, but I've been doing food delivery apps for money and I'm starting to think I could be a trucker. Summer brings out my worst symptoms, though. So I want to wait until Autumn when I can think more clearly to really decide if it's worth spending a few grand on a CDL when I'm not even sure I can stand working such long hours every day.

>>39271523
still go to an actual doctor an assessment isnt going to be a bad thing. i am just saying that from what i know schizophrenia seems unlikely. probably therapy is a better treatment for you than medication

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>used to hear night whispers
>one time i heard it raspily breathe in my fucking ear, it sounded real. like fucking real real.
>flipped on the lights and just kinda lied on the bed in terror
that shit was fucking mortifying, i actually slept with the lights on for years after that. I'm incredibly thankful i dont hear that shit anymore.

>>39271215
>avoidant-narcissistic hybrid
Kek, he should have just diagnosed you as an autist.

>>39271579
maybe youll get some other kind of personality disorder schiz - something

>>39271584
my schitzophrenia started with thinking everything was a sychronistic act of god or the devil or something, it's hard to explain.

I try to tell some people I have voices but then all I get from people is "EVERYONE HAS THAT"

>>39271584
Stress and exhaustion. Without sleep your brain begins to take micronaps. Sections of your brain woll go dormant, causing auditory hallucinations.

Stop wishing you have life altering problems.

>>39271613
To be fair, synchronicity is real. Whether it's God's plan or just the universe unraveling in its natural state, the entirety of it is like a machine. A bunch of cogs working together, the further distanced one is to another, it makes it seem unrelated, but all the cogs in between are moving in a way that forces them to act in unison.

>>39271585
Yeah. My mom showed me a book she bought when I was a teen. It was "How to dealwith an autistic child" or something of that nature. So you're probably right. I wish I could have had some intervention early in life. I've been to jail, lost jobs, lost friends, attempted to an hero, hospitalized twice. I'm finally on the path to normalcy though

>>39271613
maybe you were right?

maybe we schizos have kind of a bug in the system that allows us to peek behind the user interface of reality..

I don't really want to reinforce your delusions, but that's just the way I think about my psychosis.

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>>39271384
You sound like me. Out of curiosity, tell me more about yourself. Limit lying as much as possible.

>had speech problems as a child, mom sent me to all sorts of shrinks and speech therapists
>remember clasping my ears during pep rallies at school because they were so fucking loud it was painful
>found books my mom bought me for social skills with "for children with autism" scribbled out with sharpie
>kids always avoided me and really only hung around because I was a sperg that would do dumb shit sometimes
>took ADD pills for a few years
>recently confronted my mom about this
>Mom do I have autism
>no
is she hiding something from me or am I actually normal

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>>39271140
schizo reporting in.

>pic related, my first psychosis in a very much abridged version.

>>39271658
I don't think that I just think it was worth sharing since we're on the topic of hallucinations.

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>>39271673
>You sound Iike me

>>39271681
You're probably on the spectrum but not so deep that you can lead a wow guild.

>>39271673
Well I have a need to be the smartest, the funniest, the most omnipotent. I want people to know that I KNOW (anything, everything). I have a fragile ego but I'm working on it. And a lot of people are like this but my problem is that I'm socially retarded. Like, people make sense to me but I don't have the skills to be myself and get what I want and need (from others). BUT I am getting better

>>39271695
How do you actually know that you're crazy, rather than a god being held back from his true potential?

>>39271767
For one thing, my superpowers I thought I did have during psychosis, did never work. If I were a god I should at least have some kind of magic power. So unless I can manifest my thoughts or at least turn water into wine or some other minor feat I'll choose to stay humble.

But I can't say that I shrug it all off as just being crazy. For me it was a profound religious experience of some sort. Maybe it was the divine testing me, or it was some kind of training, or I really don't know, but it felt very real, well realer than anything else I've experienced in my whole life. So yeah.. I'm still crazy, in normies ears.

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Even if I might be I didn't deserve to be mocked alienated and destroyed for it if I didn't hurt anyone intentionally because I didn't know I waa

>>39272025
Why do you think you know what you deserve? You just didn't want that, so you automatically assume you didn't deserve it?

>>39271140
Paranoid schizophrenic reporting in. What do you wanna know?

>>39272063
What's the difference between the two if both are assumptions?

>>39272063

its always some crying motherfucker assuming people who worked harder than him "dont deserve" what they worked hard for

tough shit to those fags XD

>>39272084
They're merely assumptions on my part. You know whether or not you wanted it. From the sound of your post, I assumed you didn't. Now to know whether you deserved it or not, you'd probably have a better guess than I do, assuming you stripped away your ego and looked at it objectively, rather than what you desired.
>>39272138
I don't understand this post.

>>39272167
Well OK whatever that means then, sorry I triggered you then.

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>>39272167

its always someone who doesnt understand the value of hard work, telling others "they dont deserve that" oldest form of jealousy there is

usually its a child, or some adult that doesn't understand life isn't fair

creatures like this are SAD XD

>>39272246
I'm not triggered at all. I'm just saying you don't always deserve what you want.
>>39272280
This has nothing to do with hard work. Did you even read his post about what he thought he didn't deserve?

>>39272308

what you "deserve" is what ever you work hard for.

people will hate on you for anything, even things that are granted by life at random chance. they assume you "deserve", and "don't deserve" things based on how you are born, when it doesnt work that way.

Life isnt fair. And what you "deserve" is only what you work hard for. Everything else is luck and chance.

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>>39271695
This reminded me of the month of my life that I spent thinking I was going to become spiderman after I got bit by a black widow. I'm not sure if it was the venom fucking with my head or if I'm just usually a high functioning lunatic. Even though I didn't have any signs of super powers I started getting into fights with people. Beat people up through sheer confidence and tard strength. Once the bite faded away and I couldn't climb walls I came back to my senses and realized I wasn't spiderman.

> tfw agoraphobic piece of shit
> regularly go days/weeks without leaving apartment
> food delivery fees have me worried about rent
> went to a 20 min eye doc appointment today and was sweating bullets the whole time

>>39272358
>Life isnt fair. And what you "deserve" is only what you work hard for
If life isn't fair, why would you deserve anything for working hard?

>>39272377
Do you have a smartphone? Even if you don't, just download an Android emulator for your computer. Get an app called Postmates, it's food delivery but you can order from anywhere, including grocery stores. Get them to buy you some big ass bags of rice and beans plus whatever else you want that will last a while. Get enough shit for the month and only pay one delivery fee a month instead of making it a daily occurrence.

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>>39272396

because to produce things requires "hard work", which is irrelevant to whether or not you "deserve" or "dont deserve" it

"Hard work" destroys the idea of "I deserve" because it is inherent in its qualities. You are automatically rewarded for hard work.

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>>39272428
>You are automatically rewarded for hard work.
No you're not.

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im not sure what i have but my parents say im always angry all the time and when i do get angry i throw tantrums and start punching stuff and myself included and i get annoyed very easily when things don't go my way til the point i start feeling hysterical.

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>>39272436

Genetically black people became much stronger than other races physically.

1 instance where people were literally stolen, and robbed of their identity, hard work and the like, doesnt wipe the fact if you work hard, it shows

>>39271140
I don't know if I'm crazy but I certainly don't feel normal. There are just too many things other people do that I can't and things I do other people don't. Not to mention my crippling sleeping issues.

>>39272596
Most people who work hard are chumps who are making more money for someone else than they are themselves.

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>>39272723

Everyone is a pawn for some king in their life. No one is truly free, even the richest man in the world

See where i said, only a child could truly think this way?

Power moves in a circle, but overall weak people wouldn't know anything about power.

>>39272436
they eventually got their freedom, that was a reward

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>>39272456
>OCD
im dead inside

uhh I have a depression

I'm 99% sure I had/have Paranoid Personality Disorder but I think I cured myself. I hope anyways.