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Did I make the right choice. >23 year old, live by myself

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Did I make the right choice.

>23 year old, live by myself
>burned out because of many consecutive days of using
>been skipping a lot of work lately
>struggle with depression, anxiety and suicide everyday
>also struggle with addiction
>already been to rehab but relapsed hard

>go to NA meetings (Narcotics Anonymous, it's like AA but for drug addicts) but I hate being there surrounded by normies
>got a sponsor but I never talk to him (sponsor is like someone who helps you)

>today I go to meeting, didn't share but I was shaking the whole time
>tell sponsor that I need to talk to him
>I tell him everything and how I've fucked up and my life spiraled out of control
>gave me normie advice

I'm having second thoughts about being honest. But I don't have anything else, I either cry for help or die,
>>
AA & NA are scams that have no basis in science. But we're not allowed to talk about that in this country. Sorry bro.
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