>be me >have girlfriend 2-3 years ago >suddenly leaves

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>be me
>have girlfriend 2-3 years ago
>suddenly leaves me for no reason
>haven't had one since
>at the time I was with her I was pretty fucking idiotic and immature
>decide to DM her on Discord and invite her to a server event that was happening
>hoping to regain at least a friendship
>"Yeah Anon that sounds great! What time does it start? I would like to be friends again as well!"
>shows up to the event and says she enjoyed the event (reading a book)
>we talk a few times after that but not a lot to consider it an active friendship
>invite her to another event, tell her that we should catch up afterwards
>"Sure, sounds great!"
>We catch up and start talking more
>ask her if I can tell her something personal and that it's completely fine if she doesn't want to because it would most likely make things awkward
>"Sure, make it long though, it makes it a lot easier to read!"
>tell her that I still have feelings for her but that I still want to maintain a friendship and that I should have told her earlier
>tell her that if she doesn't want to carry on a friendship, at least give me a decent response and that's the only thing I ask for
>Doesn't respond to me
>Doesn't answer any of my messages after that
>Doesn't leave that server I invited to her
>I know that she lurks there as well, making it even worse
>responds to all my other friends messages almost instantly

I fucking hate everything and want to die so badly right now. The only thing that is preventing me from suicide is spreading my depression to other people by constantly talking about it.