>tfw fucking your coworker and she tells you her pussy is

pathetic cums
your ropes should be like spiderman's
and cling deeply within her
affording your wicked sperm ample opportunity to invade her egg chambers

>>39224308
i dont know if that's possible

>>39224781
Sure it is. Eat plenty of spinach, it's high in zinc.

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>>39224273
There are a few young women I work with who think I'm good looking and want to jump my bones. Hopefully I will share this feel soon, OP

>>39224855
goodluck. the coworker i'm fucking had been fantasizing about me and staring at me since she started here six months ago.

>>39224837
What does zinc do for your cum?

>>39224273
I used to be a strip club DJ

my job description rocked !

I used to have strippers laugh and tell me that my jizz poured out of their snatch or their asshole onto a customer's lap while performing a lap dance after I had just finished fucking them up in the DJ booth.

so yeah....

There IS a better feel, actually...

A lot better

At the end of the night, I'd take 10% of their money...

>>39225231
that's hilarious. good job

>>39225172
Zinc makes you wonder what zinc does for your jizz

>>39225172
Cum is made of zinc. When you Cum you put out like 5mg of zinc. So the more zinc you eat, the more cum you make. It works btw. I eat 2 cups of spinach a day and make big loads

>>39225255
Does it make it radioactive like Spiderman's? Can I kill roastie with cum?

>>39225231
Nah to me it wouldn't be the same because those women are whores

>>39225253
It was THE best job on Earth

I would make a GUARANTEED MINIMUM of $1,600 a night tax free

If that seems like a lot, it's not

The guarantee was for those rare nights when I didn't make $4,500

all tax free

To play music and fuck every woman who walked in the door

>>39225296
Lol @ you thinking any woman ISNT a whore

You're god damn right they're whores

>>39224273
You fucked her that day though...right?

>>39225341
i fucked her at lunch

Semen is only one percent sperm; the rest is composed of over 200 separate proteins, as well as vitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc .

YOU STAND CORRECTED

>>39225322
Yeah but they're nasty. There's no challenge. It's boring unless drugs are involved. Also, wtf are you doing here on r9k? You type like a redditor

>>39225351
Did you mean to reply to someone?

WHORE:

exactly what we all want

but we all pretend it's a bad thing

STFU

you'd take anything you can get your hands on

>>39225382
Yeah

Let me reply to you

SHUT IT

SHUT

IT

SHUT IT

>>39225419
whyy the fuck would you get you 10 points from every dancer

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>>39225419
I can't imagine being this mad. It's like you have the brain of a child. Also, try not drinking for one night. You may feel better by it

>>39225353
Lol @ no challenge

As if you're some kind of triathlon sexual Arctic explorer Evel Kneivel superstar ASStronaut Don Juan Casanova Humperdink...

Jack much?

>>39225453
Mad ?

Do I appear angry ?

Please explain why I would be angry just because you are a sexual failure...

Your lack of sexual prowess doesn't bother me at all....

And I haven't touched alcohol since I was 25....

tell me what the WISC-R4 is, idiot

>>39225455
Damn...I just got blown the fuck out...Hey make sure to send this thread to your boyfriend to show him how bad you got me! He'll be super proud and probably suck your rancid, herpes-riddled dick!

>>39225488
Well a Google search revealed it to be some kind of special Olympics flag. Are you trying to brag that you competed in the special Olympics? I mean...I'm all for you little retards getting some exercise, but it's nothing to call home about...

>>39225449
A strip club DJ gets 10% of every dancer's nightly earnings, which if you have 50 chicks making $1,000 to $2,000 a night, can add up real fast

Plus they'd pay me an hourly wage...

It's super lucrative

And impossible to forget when you eventually quit

>>39225488
reply to me why would the strippers give you 10 points of all the money?

>>39225498
Boyfriend ?... Are you talking about my wife WENDY ?

have you EVER done anything right?

>>39225531
The WISC-R4 is the Wechsler Scale (the standardized IQ test) for adolescents

when I was 15, I scored in the upper .001% of the 'above Superior' range

Turdstem

>>39225550
Dude...just because your boytoy wears a wig and some lingerie, doesn't mean he's a woman. He still has a dick! Wendy is a good name though. Not overly feminine, but very homey. I hope you two are happy together!

>>39225231
>>39225255
>>39225309
>>39225351
>>39225419
Holy shit you are back, i thought you were permanently banned or something.

>>39225581
WOAH. I almost believe you, but you didn't post any proof : -\ Hey I can make statistic up, too, though! Watch!
Only .0001% of grown men still use a sippy cup on a daily basis, and they all happen to be...you!

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Fuck, I wish that were me.
>Some of them actually did seem interested
>Too tired/apathetic/sad to care

>>39225610
No dude

I've been in jail

I'm probably going back this week

>>39225631
What'd you do? Mass male rape?

>>39225613
I'll be sure to let you know the minute your opinion means jack shit to me

>tfw fucking your coworker and she tells you her pussy is leaking your cum all over the big macs

>>39225654
Alright peace out good banter

>>39225648
I was arrested and charged criminally in a civil litigation dispute over a $100 cracked phone screen

HOW TO GET THE GIRL YOU WANT

don't settle for s girl that you don't want

Self confidence

Relax

Don't try

Don't ask... Tell

Don't follow... Lead

Don't beg... Insist

Smile

>>39225648
I'm probably going to be rearrested on Thursday

I hope not

But it's a probability

LOL@permanently banned

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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>tfw gf tells you to cum inside her and you know she's not on the pill

>>39225799
Relax, champ

That's why you exist

Humans do NOT exist to cure cancer, or to build a better spaceship

We exist to reproduce

We are fucking machines

The ONLY reason you exist is to blow loads into your gf

However, the universe doesn't care if you or 40 convicts impregnate her

So if you don't, someone else WILL

>>39225799
Give me her number

I'm not joking

Give me your girlfriend's number

>>39225799
Dude

I'm not ASKING you

I'm TELLING you

GIVE ME HER NUMBER

NOW

>>39225799
Trust me

I'll empty my nuts into her

And I won't act like a bitch afterward

>tfw fucked a teenage coworker when I worked at a McDonald's

>>39226025
Congratulations

You had sex as a teenager

Hahaha

Wow

>>39226025
That's like saying
tfw you graduated from 6th grade into the 7th grade

Big fucking deal

>>39225799
MotherFUCK ,!!

you selfish bitch

GIVE ME HER NUMBER !!!

>>39226315
There's no chance this guy is never not on coke. Stay golden, Johnny Neptune

>>39226297
Teen girls are fucking hot

Keep your old skanks to yourself

>>39226276
>>39226297
I was 25 though