hi robots, I am a wizard apprentice. I will be 30 in another

I don't compare notes with villains.
Honor among thieves is the kind of meme a thief would create.

>>39200976

not sure what you're talking about there but okay, how you doing?

>>39200995
REEEEEEEEEEFUCKINGNORMIETRASGRREEEEEEEEEE GOBACK TO BREADDIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>39200861
Do you still feel any sex drive? If so, how do you satisfy it? Also what made you the way you are? Hating women? Diagnosed mental illness? Disfigured/disabled physically? etc

>>39201035

NTgger

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any advice for someone who's 27 on essentially the same path (currently NEET 8 years, hiki for 3)?
also, is there anything you regret that has nothing to do with women or gfs or sex or anything? frankly don't give a shit about partnership, I ain't cut out for it - but I mean personal regrets, like time wasted, etcetc.

>>39200861

DO YOU FEEL happiness?

>>39201076

yes I have sex drive. it is quite sexually frustrating for a man in their late 20's to go without sex for their whole lives. I have adopted sexual sin cause of it and I am working to end it. I do not hate women or anybody, accept what has happened and am attempting to get over the past. I forgive the people who abused me. Forgiving does not mean justice won't be dispensed though, there will be eternal consequences for sin if those not saved.

Abuse and neglect is largely the cause of my lifestyle and dysfunction

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R.I.P chester Bennington and all the dysfunctional 90s peeps.

>>39200861
have you tried getting a prostitute

>>39201116

it's fine if you're not meant for marriage, it's a rare gift.

What I regret is allowing the internet to influence my heart, specifically imageboards. they're depraved places, but so is most of the internet. it's best to keep yourself pure, and avoid adopting worldly behavior. the world is a sick place.. even the internet is dangerous.

as for advice at your age... you need to get your heda out of your ass ASAP. get support, family, counselors, and if you're willing, seek spiritual guidance from a pastor. you'll be 50 years old one day with the same problems if you don't deal with it now. If you want to be a hermit then well, be a hermit. It might be a good idea to move out near a forest, you can be mostly left alone and enjoy nature.

>>39201178
why not pay a hooker for that?
i'm sure you could save some neetbux

also, if you still are a hiki, you can search for someone willing to go to your house

>>39201161

I am happy now that I got over many of my nagging issues. Finding Christ helped a lot.

>>39201418

I had toyed with the idea before of hiring a prostitute but I would rather die celibate rather than do that to a woman. I would rather have real loving intimacy with a woman. I can't imagine that happening but I don't know, maybe one day.

>>39201178
>muh eternal consequences
>using religionas a weapon

Get over yourself

>>39201421

FINDING CHIRS? oh fukc me how the fuck can forcing yourself to believe in fairy tales help you find happines?!!?!1

>>39201498
>>39201528

atheism is nihilism and leads to spiritual death. to be atheist you can't believe in a standard of truth, which means there is no reality, meaning we shouldn't be having this conversation

atheism is 100% inconsistent with how the world works, you have to believe in an absolute truth

>>39201615
I never said I was an atheist but you're a moralizing sanctimonious shitbag who clearly hasn't forgiven anyone and will have his part in the lake of fire.

>>39201615
It is an absolute truth that God doesn't exist.

>>39201791

I forgave them for the most part, I'm still working through it. Christians *are* morally superior in the sense that they're being sanctified and follow God's commandments.

since we're name calling you're judgmental and profane and will also have your place in the lake of fire, reprobate

>>39201497
Get dat shit dough

>>39201791

I suppose I am a moralizing sanctimonious prick though. the good thing about 4chan is people call you out on your bullshit

sorry for this

>>39200861
>I am a wizard apprentice. I will be 30 in another year, obtaining wizardhood.

Apprentice, I wish I had comforting words for you. It would be nice to tell you it becomes easier, that one makes peace with Nature in the same way the elderly supposedly come to terms with God as they gasp their final breaths. But a lie is empty, an absence of truth; by definition, giving someone a falsehood is giving nothing at all.

The life of the wizard's apprentice, a young man women find radically undesirable, is horrible. God and Nature have disinherited him. Neither angel nor human will suffer his presence. Belonging to Hell by default, the apprentice has no shortage of devils to torment him in a myriad ways with the numerous instruments of torture at their disposal. Demons of Wrath, Lust, and Envy inflict wounds both day and night; not even sleep offers respite. Sink below the horizon and they follow, rendering every dream a nightmare.

The lot of the aging wizard is harder even still. Another player joins the pitiful drama, another specter lends its song to the hellish choir, and His voice is the ticking of a clock. Death rushes in grinning, hourglass in fleshless hand.

Rationally, the abomination knows he never had a chance to be loved. Born a monster, he would inevitably die as one. Yet, dying of thirst, one is willing to drink the hope that springs from even the most polluted well.

"Perhaps someday a woman will return my smile with something other than disgust. There's still time, after all."

The wizard's initiation is the horrifying realization that there is no more time. The wellspring of hope has run dry and the relentless trickle of sand through the hourglass has taken its place.

So I can offer hope no more than I can turn Death's hourglass upside down. Perhaps God is capable of such a thing, but He certainly wouldn't work such a miracle for a monster. Were it otherwise, there would be no wizards in the first place.