"Champ, I hate to interrupt your 'Kiss your Yamamoto'

I unironically wish I had a father willing to go to such extents to help me.

My dads version of this is "Get a job and stop being a fucking bottom feeding loser, aren't you ashamed of yourself? Look at me I'm talking to you" etc etc

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>>39160549
"Champ, your mother and I aren't gonna be around forever. We're doing this because we care, Champ -- and no one else does. Besides, it's simple. It's all about putting your game face on and taking the initiative. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. It was the worst snowstorm in state history, and I damn near froze to death that day. It's all about getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make."

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>>39160484
>Champ, I hate to interrupt your 'Kiss your Yamamoto' thread
TOP FUCKING KEK

Is there rule 34 for the handshake guy?

>>39160484
But dad, I have a job. Why was this a good idea again?

>>39160549

My dad left when I was 4 months old.

>>39160721
"Happy 21st birthday, son! You just need to see the manager -me- and shake his dick firmly if you want the job."

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>>39160723
"Then get another one, Champ. Your job doesn't give you as many hours as it should, and it's time you learned the value of a hard week's work. It's as simple as going in there, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Why so glum, Champ? Aren't you looking forward to being an even more productive member of society?"

>>39160549
this, Job Dad is inspiring and seems like a good man.

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>>39160625
>tfw you will never live in dad's time
seems like it was paradise

>>39160484
he actually photoshopped it on top of the incest thread OP the absolute madman!

op i'd like to shake your hand

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>>39160484
I heard you gearing yourself up last night, a nice battle cry, 'REEEE'. Hell yea, that's what I like to hear champ! Give me a RREEE! Now game face on and go get em tiger.

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In middle of snowstorm
middle of snowstorm
I once marched through to get work at factory
to get work at factory

For you to get good job
To get good job
Speak to manager and give him firm handshake
Give him firm handshake

Son, time to get off computer and grow up
Son, get off computer and grow up
Get in car and make no excuses
Make no excuses

For you to get good job
To get good job
Speak to manager and give him firm handshake
Give him firm handshake

We will drive far, to get you good job
Get you good job
We will not turn back until you get hired
Until you get hired

For you to get good job
To get good job
Speak to manager and give him firm handshake
Give him firm handshake

Is important for your future
Important for your future
You shake hand, tell manager you be best hire
tell manager you be best hire

For you to get good job
To get good job
Speak to manager and give him firm handshake
Give him firm handshake
Speak to manager and give him firm handshake
Give him firm handshake

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>>39160721
Now there is

>>39161015
fuck off BTH

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"When life closes one door, it opens another, Champ. Why so glum, Champ? You've gotta understand that a man's priorities change as time goes on. And now that I'm done raising you and making sure everything at home's okay, my Sweetie will get my undivided attention. A hard-working go-getter like yourself ought to have no trouble finding a place of your own and taking care of yourself. It's all about getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. I may be around less and less, but you're still the Champ, Champ."

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Champ, when I was your age I had no trouble finding a job.

>>39160484
Stop calling me Champ. You're not even my dad.

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>>39161447
"It's time to get a job and stop playing make-believe in your little fairy tale world. You shouldn't have any trouble getting hired now that all those kids are headed back to school. I know we were here yesterday, but it never hurts to follow up."

"Whaddya mean the manager turned you away because he too busy drinking coffee? Champ, you just need to be more assertive. It's as easy as getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. It'd be tough for him not to hire you after a display of confidence like that. Where there's a will, there's a way, Champ."

>>39160549
None of this shit would help IRL. If you're at all like the son in the OP, you're turbofucked for life in terms of getting a straight job.

>>39160484
This stupid fucking meme actually got me practicing giving myself firm handshakes with myself the past 2 weeks

>>39161285
We must go younger. Make it happen

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>You will never have a father who cares about you
>You will never have a father

I can't imagine a scenario of always having someone there for you. I've only had a bipolar single mother alcoholic all my life who can't take care of herself much less anyone else.

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>>39162163
Great job, Champ! Now we'll drive around town so you can try it out and see for yourself just how far a firm handshake will go.

>>39160484
> fair
> a place where you play games and win prizes
> job fair
> all you win is maybe an interview for a chance to be contractually obligated to show up regularly for a stressful occupation for which even the slightest infraction can get you canned

>>39160484
Dad, they are just going to tell me to go apply online because they only go to those things for PR

>>39160839
Father dearest that wasn't a battle cry but rather an expression of my outrage

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>>39162609
"Whaddya mean you gotta apply online? I think all that unscented dish soap you've been covering those photos of cartoon girls with has been messing with your head, Champ. Champ, nothing guarantees getting a job like taking the initiative and speaking with them in person. You've gotta grab life by the horns, Champ; you can't wait for it to come to you. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. They've even got a photo of me in the local paper, marching through all that. The manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. I nearly froze to death out there in the driving snow, so you've got it pretty easy compared to me, Champ. Where there's a will, there's a way."

"You've just gotta get outta that shell of yours, speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make."

could you fuck off with this forced meme?

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>>39162724
"No. Now get back in the car, Champ."

>>39162724
>forced meme
Nigger this is the best new meme of the year

>>39162703
Instead of taking a photo of you why didn't they offer to give you a lift?

Is the meme pro-Handshake dad or anti-Dad?

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"Nothin' like a visit to a small local business, the drivers of the economy, Champ. Whaddya mean working here would be embarrassing? Champ, my first job was sweeping floors for your great-grandparents when I was 16 years old. It was tedious work, but I earned enough on the side to buy me a Mustang. Whaddya mean why don't I help you get a job at the company? Champ, you give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime. It's all about being independent."

"All you've gotta do is show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Go on, Champ. He won't bite."

>>39163168
>"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Give him a lifetime's supply of fishes and you feed him for a lifetime."
Makes sense, doesn't it?

>>39163000
Handshake dad is always right and that's horrifying. Bit of column A, bit of column B.

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*ignores you and continues sipping his coffee*

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>>39163201
"Quitters never win, Champ. When I was a senior in high school, we were facing our cross-town rivals. They were the premier team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: Chet Anders. He was 6'5, 260 -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics a good 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming about. I think he put a gun to his mouth after Notre Dame yanked his scholarship offer. The point is that you can't give up, Champ. You've gotta crawl outta that shell of yours and grab life by the horns, and it's as simple as getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make."

>>39162943
Agreed. Supportive dad meme is best meme. Changing the lives of robot NEETS one thread at a time.

>>39160549

he's right you fucking loser

>>39163234
He's often wrong about how the job market works but he's etirely virtuous. I always feel uncomfortable in these threads because I know I'm the bad guy.

>>39160484
Is he talking to his wife's son? If his son is white, then his son cannot be a robot.

This meme reminds me of when I just got out of high school. My parents shipped out graduation party invitations to everyone they knew and a surprisingly large amount of people sent gifts (I suppose so that that way they could skip attending with a clear conscious). Anyway, after I started getting them, my dad sat me down and said
>"son, it's awful nice of these people to send you these gifts. The next time you see any one of them I want you to walk up to them and give them a firm handshake and thank them for it, and tell them you'll be putting it towards going to college"

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"Champ, the older you get, the more enjoyment you'll find in the little things in life -- like a nice hot cup of coffee. But decaf for you; I can't afford to have you nervous and antsy and unable to sleep tonight, Champ. I need you focused. FOCUSED on showing up to each place, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Try it out here and see if it works. The manager will appreciate that you went to him directly. Shows confidence and interest in the job, Champ."

"Oh, isn't that your old friend Thad or Chud or Chazz from high school, the one who used to call you funny names on the way to school, pulling up in the parking lot in that Corvette? And who's that smokin' hot blonde who's with him? That girl looks suspiciously like the one you liked to call 'way-foo' or 'Juannaytis.' Huh. Don't be rude, Champ. Go over there and say, 'hello.'"

>>39161045
This is why I browse this cesspool

>>39164223
Dad, I think what I really need right now is a Mocha with extra whipped cream

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>>39164256
"Champ, what you really need right now is a job. And getting one is as easy as showing up to each stop we're making tonight, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Besides, Champ. That whipped cream is a one-way ticket to an early grave on the high cholesterol express. Stick with your decaf. Oh, don't gimme that look, Champ. You can buy whichever beverage you want when you get your first paycheck."

>boss wants me to work overnights constantly
>had to change my sleep schedule just to accomodate 33 hours of work for $250 a week
>if I worked overtime at 60 an hour the most I would make is $450 a week
>literally all my time would be spent working with no days off
I don't understand how people do this and don't want to die, its scary, its so fucking terrible and scary that I feel scared just looking at people who work. Are they suffering. Will they snap. I tried getting psyched for multiple jobs but this one I have now is the longest I had one job, a few months. The others didn't go past a month.

Im desperate for a way out.

>>39163168
this one got me
>I'm too good for "nepotism" so I won't actually help you get a job sorry :^)

>>39163745
>cut blocking
fuck you

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"Hello there, Anon. I've been told that you want to apply here. That's great! Here's the address to our website. Fill out the questionnaire and complete the application, and if you're a match, we'll give you a call."

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>>39164223
>Juannaytis

GOOD LORD, MY SIDES WENT TO CHECHNYA

>>39160484
Can someone give me a quick rundown on this dude? He keeps barging into my room and giving me ominous warnings about handshakes.

why do these threads give me weird feels? I'm employed and never had a dad, so why do they make me feel...I dunno, cringey?

I did speak with the manager and they told me to get lost. We dont hire people right now. I dont care. If ya want a jawb go look online or read the paper.

Was at a forwarding agency...

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>>39164986
Oh, don't beat yourself up, Champ. When I was your age, I got turned down once or twice before I found the job down at the factory. I trudged through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. They've even got a photo of me in the local paper, marching through the biting cold. The manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. Persistence pays off, Champ. So you didn't land the job there -- not the end of the world. We'll just try someplace else. What've you got to lose?"

>>39164749
tfw no stacey pepe gf

this meme makes me sad because he reminds me of my own dad before he was a bitter old fuck

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"When are you gonna give your mother and I grandchildren, Champ? Why so glum? Oh, I know: girl trouble. Well, it shouldn't be that hard for a handsome young devil like you to find a special someone. You just need to crawl outta that shell of yours, meet people, and put your name out there. And it's as easy as standing up straight, looking that gal in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner."

"Who knows? She might be that special someone with whom you'll raise a family. And raising a family is important because it makes you responsible and more mature. It also ensures that the family line will live on and that someone will be around to take care of you when you get old."

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Hey anon its your uncle here, don't listen to my jew of a brother. These days you can live a /comfy/ life whilst being NEET.

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"Champ, every job is an opportunity, and every day you're able to do it is a great day. It's up to you to make the best of it. You can do that by showing up early, staying late, and cheerfully volunteering for every task out there. Your manager will love it, Champ. And it all starts when you show up, speak with him about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make."

>>39160794
In order to understand Job Dad fully you need to be a chronic NEET and not one of those people simply taking a break after highschool/college. Being forcibly put in high pressure social scenarios without the proper internal tools to deal with it is a nightmare.

>>39162428
They'll also actively search out stupider people than you who will work for lower pay to replace you

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>>39160484
Sorry father, but my NEETbux just came in and I have to go preorder Utawarerumono 3 that day. Maybe next time, eh champ?

>>39163745
Originally underrated fucking post.

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My conversation with my dad a few minutes ago

>Champ, your mother and I are getting worried about you. No, we've already been over that cantakerous contraption we found. We're disappointed, but we're not mad, Champ. But we think it's time you went outside and got a job. Getting a job will allow you to meet people and live a normal life. Get dressed and meet me in the car. I'm driving you to find a job, and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot.
>i'm not sure, i'll think about it
>You've been spending too much time inside, so you might as well meet people and make some money on your own. You can buy a new computer once you get your first paycheck.
>okay, dad, i'll think about it and let you know
>All you've gotta do is show up, speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make

Looks like my family can't take it anymore.

Help.

>>39165928
yeah? it's even worse when you don't have a Job Dad trying to help you out, motivate you, offering to drive you around to get hired. trying to pull yourself out of NEET robotdom without any kind of father figure or support is even worse

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>>39165734
literally the Good Goy pledge

>>39160878
I can't understand how this fits

>>39166740
He understands the importance of keeping a meme dynamic and remixable. He must be subscribed to Best Teeth

This meme is too real. My dad wants me to show up to a theater with a resume despite there being no job openings on the website

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"Champ, I figure we have a nice dinner over at Chick-Fil-A. Whaddya say I get us two Grilled Chicken Sandwich meals with two Sweet Teas and eight pieces of Chick-Fil-A sauce? No tendies, Champ. Fried food is a one way ticket to an early grave on the high cholesterol express. Read it online. A salad would be healthier. Hey, cashier, we're skipping the tendies today; he'll have a salad. Good idea, right? *pokes your stomach* Ha, ha."

"I'm afraid that's not the only reason why I brought you here, Champ. While we're ordering, you might as well ask the manager to see if they have any openings here. Stand up straight, speak with him about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Whaddya mean 'why do I have Chick-N-Strips in my hand?' These are for the dog, Champ. You can buy your own once you get a job."

>>39166923
>read it online
>apply in person

boomers

>>39164223
>like a nice hot cup of coffee. But decaf for you I can't afford to have you nervous and antsy and unable to sleep tonight
kek, this is good

>>39164507
I think I made a thread about this a few days ago

http://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/38985683/

>>39164223
Dad, nobody is called Chud

Please stop making these threads, they give me panic attacks.

Thankyou

>>39160484
If you ever bothered to contact me about anything other than some random family member's birthday you might know that I'm graduating with an associate's degree after this semester. But hey maybe it's good that you aren't involved considering your other son is a homeless drug addict that refuses to keep a job and has like 8 kids he doesn't know, and your daughter that moved across the country to get away from you, is now suicidal and distant, and actively professes her hate for you when she decides to make contact. But sure Dad, go ahead and organize this dinner with your friend. I'll be at Mom's house.

>>39167029
How can you maintain eye contact and shake hands firmly to get a job without most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of being unemployed?

When I dropped out of a military academy I was a weed and hash smoking NEET for 5 years and then I just posted my resume and got picked up for a news editing job by a guy who ran a news site and graduated from that same academy. I've been a journalist (contributing editor) ever since. You guys are faggots is what I'm getting at.

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"Pep, this is my son I've been telling you about. Go ahead and shake his hand, Champ. But not until after he's had his coffee. You don't wanna disturb a man until he's had his coffee. Grown-up stuff, Champ. Anyway, Pep, my boy here needs a job. He's smart and talented but he needs a kick in the butt every now and again to get him goin'. You look awfully short-staffed 'round here. Think my boy can get a job 'round here, sweeping floors and learning the trade?"

>>39160549
This. My dad died when I was little, I would give anything to have a male role model help me out of this pit.

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>>39167261
"Chaaaaaaaamp. Hey, how ya doin'? I'm doing okay up here. Hope everything's going well. How's the job hunt, Champ? You know, nothing guarantees getting a job quite like showing up, speaking with the manager about it, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Don't worry about me, Champ. You've got this."

>>39167251
If they actually taught me things regularly while they had me do cleaning and related shit in between I would really appreciate this job

I could be just like Driver

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"Hey, Champ. Just making sure you've printed out your resumes because we're going to head out soon and look for -- Oh, hey! Is that your girlfriend, Champ? Why don't you invite her over for dinner? You know, you're not getting any younger, Champ. All the more reason for you to get a job. She'll practically be stalking YOU once you get your first paycheck!"

>>39160828
>living in constant fear of nuclear holocaust and raining reds
>paradise

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>>39166820
"It helps to have a resume, but nothing guarantees getting the job like speaking with the manager about it, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make, Champ. If that doesn't work, we could always try somewhere else. Give it a try, Champ. Every journey begins with that first step."

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>I hate to interrupt your 'Kiss your Yamamoto' thread

I'm fucking dying right now

Last time I tried this dad, 9/11 happened

>>39162703
The fucking snowstorm story. Why do I read it all every time I love this meme too much

>>39164507
>33 hours
That's not even the fucking standard 40 hours and you still make more than I do, get off of your fucking lazy ass anon! Fuck, the more I work the more I'm despising that I was ever a neet.

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>>39167818
"Because it's true, Champ. Yep, I put myself through school, supported the family, bought two houses, three cars, and our summer vacationer up in Hyannis Port with that job, so I expect a lot out of you when you start working, Champ. But I know you can do it, Champ, because I didn't raise you to be a quitter."

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>>39168087
I'm so sorry Dad!

>tfw actually teared up

>>39167732
It was a great time to be alive if you ignored the MSM fearmonguering joos.

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>>39160839
>a nice battle cry
kek

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"Champ, secretly running the entire country at the behest of your globalist overlords is as easy as being married to the President's daughter. And to do that, all you've gotta do is show up, speak with the guy before he runs for office, give him a firm handshake, and ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. Can't get any simpler than that, Champ."

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>>39168087
>didn't raise you to be a quitter.
God damn this hurts. Sorry dad

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>>39160549
My Dad's dead. Mom's a nut job. Only child. Felon, etc.

I make $44,000 a year slowly painting rooms in Greenwich Connecticut and my girlfriend makes 39,000 at the same company. We live very well. We also own the company.

Parents mean nothing. I got a GED and learned web design. Couldn't make ends meet, found HomeAdvisor, and now I have so much work I subcontract to 3 other crews, and get 15% of those jobs for an additional $10,000 a year.

Fuck your abusive weird dad. Just imagine the Euphoria of freedom one day if you decide to learn to work for yourself.

>>39164895
second hand embarrassment at how real this is for some people. I'm not a neet either but I relate to the sas part, my parents are too nice to me and I feel guilty all the time... it could have been good to have a little more pressure or direction put on me because I'm a little lost by myself

>>39169693
**dad, not sas kek

oregani

>>39160484
I already have a job, Dad. Working as maintenance overnights at Sam's. why do you think I'm not home in the mornings? Now I got to get back to work. See ya in 2 hours.

>>39162312
A-are you me? Fuck.

>>39160484
>Sherry down at HR
What the fuck, the lady at the HR department for my first job was a Sherri. What's with Sherri at HR? Why does Shen wear the mask?

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But dad I'm working six 12 hour shifts this week! That's 20 hours of overtime, I can't do anymore than that

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>>39160549
>tfw you haven't seen your dad in over a decade

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>>39160484
DAD I ALREADY HAVE A HIGH-PAYING JOB
GIVE ME AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE GF, DO YOUR JOB AS A FATHER, OLD FAG
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I had a choice between a homelessness a job or nuthouse.
So naturally on my way to nuthouse i told my friend to drop me off at the warehouse and i did just OP.

I walked in after 7years long neetdom and said i want a job. I shaked the manager's hand and he took me on a tour. In a week i had a job.

I worked 4days and then got crazy and charged my mother and her bf with a knife. Now I'm in a nuthouse third month.

So yeah man getting a job is really as easy as showing up and shaking hands

Honestly this is one of the few things that makes me smile for a second daily.

Please keep posting this. This is the best meme on 4chan

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>had handshake mom
>mom dragged me into supermarkets, restaurants, cafes, her work to apply for a job
>"did you shake his hand? Wait, your hand is slimy.."
>she would obnoxiously brag about me, what university I went to, that "my daughter's good with computers"
>"Oh you'll get the job for sure! He smiled at you! Plus I know Betty Ann and she works in the deli department. Maybe that cafe will hire you? You should go back and tell the manager that all the old folks who regularly visit adore you!"
>nags at me to get coffee pouring job or whatever
>I apply for volunteer positions at universities nearby
>get offered 16/hr job plus 4% vacation

Fuck you, Handshake Mom.

>kiss your yamamoto
This is why i still come here. Nice to see there's still OC. Keep champposting lads.

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>tfw you haven't seen your dad in over a century

>>39167358
kek'd... then felt

If you want to fish your kid from his basement liar when he already roboted to the core instead of planning his education and a career ahead when we was just a child you could actually rise, you failed as a parent.

>>39163000
depends on whether you are anti or pro dad.
Dad simply is.

>>39163874
yeah his boomer ignorance of the fact that economies change over the years is both infuriating and endearing

>>39165734
oh my god what an absolute fucking classcuck

But Dad I'm already a programmer. I've already told you I work from my computer and make more than you.

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"Champ, put that game on pause, will ya? We need to talk. Your mother and I have been getting worried about you. You've been spending way too much time on that idiot box. No, no, Champ, we've already been over that contraption that we found in the package last week. We're disappointed, but we're not mad, either. But you've been sitting here in your room doing nothing since you graduated three years ago, Champ, and that's got us wondering: What do you plan to do with your life, Champ?"

"Some of your classmates have become very successful, Champ. Just the other day, I bumped into your old schoolyard friend Chud, Thad, or Chazz or whatever his name was -- you know, the one who called you all sorts of funny names when you saw each other in the hallway? Anyway, he recently got the job as the Emergency Services Manager for the county, and he's makin' bank. He's driving a brand new Acura MDX, and he just moved into the three-story house down the street. He even got hitched to that one dame you were always harpin' on about -- that smoking hot blonde with the funny name: 'way-foo' or 'Yuanaytis' or something. And they've even got a little girl on the way. How about that, Champ?"

"They asked me how you were doing, but I didn't wanna embarrass you. I told 'em you just got home from the Peace Corps and that you were in-between jobs. Well, today is the day you look them in the eye and tell them you're working for a living, Champ. I'm gonna drive you over there so you can talk to Chet or Charlie or whatever his name is, give him a firm handshake, and ask if you could work there. I'm sure he could get you a job down at the recreation center or the mailroom or janitorial services or something. Whaddya mean it'd be embarrassing? Champ, your mother and I aren't gonna be around forever, so it's time you got out into the wider world and took steps towards becoming an adult -- like your friends did. Besides, aren't you three looking forward to catching up after all these years?"

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>>39172072
"Champ, if I said it once, I've said it a million times: Drawing black boxes over pictures of cartoon girls doesn't count. It's time you found a real job. And getting one is as easy as speaking with the manager about it, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make, Champ. It's time you learned the value of hard work, Mister."

>>39160484
I went to a job fair once. I thought I did really well. No one called me back.

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>>39172136
"Did you remember to give the manager of each place a firm handshake and tell them that you were the perfect candidate for the job? It's all about being persistent and confident, Champ. But it's okay, Champ. We could simply try again."

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>t...t.....th....thanks dad

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"Gosh, anon, you're always so quiet."

>>39160549
Wagecuck here. I work 25-35 hours a week, but since we're talking about parents, I might as well contribute.
My Dad won't even talk to me unless I say something first, and most nights he's out at a bar or club or something trying to score. He won't even talk to me, much less do anything with me. The last time we actually did something as father and son was probably three years ago.
My Mom is the complete opposite, but not in a good way. She projected her own insecurities onto me for the better part of my childhood, and even now requires constant validation from me.
Parents are overrated. Boomers don't know how to raise kids, and I doubt millennials will do any better (even though I want to try and be a better parent).
Parents literally become the reason why you will either fail or succeed. People like Handshake Dad and Jordan Peterson remind me that good role models still exist.

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>>39171664
Shut the fuck up you stupid whore. You had a positive role model who actually tried to help you in a good way, and got you an offer for a $16/hr job. I make $8/hr. You have literally nothing to complain about.
Kill yourself, honestly. Reading your post just made me cringe.

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"Did you remember to follow up on those applications you sent, Sweetie? You know, it'd be a lot better if you showed up in person and spoke with the manager yourself; that way, they'd remember you. It's all about being confident and putting your name out there, Sweetie!"

these threads are the only things on 4chan that choke me up anymore. its like a rekt thread featuring my life, or lack of it

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"A little off the sides here, and voila! This handsome young devil's ready for a night on the town. Girls will practically be chasing you with a hairstyle like that. No, Champ. We're not going to buzz it. No one will hire you if you shave your head; it makes you look like a criminal. Besides it's better to have some hair than no hair at all! Just comb it over. No one will notice, Champ."

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>>39167039
"...so you up for a game of catch with your old man 'ere, Champ?"

so what's the right approach a dad should take in this situation

Can you give me a step by step Tutorial on how to shake a hand, dad?

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>>39174263
>>39174296
"Ask me again later, Champ. You know how grouchy I can get if I haven't had my coffee."

>>39174263
Make sure his kids are raised properly so they don't spend all day on the computer. If your kid is unemployed after age 20 and you need to dress them for a job fair you have failed as a parent (assuming the kid isn't suffering from a real issue [ie. not "depression"] like down syndrome or being mentally retarded)

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>>39160549
>My dads version of this is "Get a job and stop being a fucking bottom feeding loser, aren't you ashamed of yourself? Look at me I'm talking to you"

lol my dad's version of this was "Your new job is now finding a job, I want you out of the house for 8 hours a day looking, go to the library if you need internet, and if you don't find something in two months I'm kicking you out"

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>>39165734
SOMEONE PLEASE PHOTOSHOP THE S.W.E.A.T ACRONYM INTO S.L.A.V.E

IT'S THE ONLY TITLE THAT WILL FIT WITH THAT AWFUL PLEDGE.

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You wanna work here, meng? You wait until I finish my cafe negro and horchata, comprende, amigo?

>>39163168
>you give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime
I wish my dad had taught me anything, literally anything, useful. But the only things he taught me is how to sleep on the couch in the living room, while the wife sleeps in the master bedroom, and how to be so awkward in social interactions he has to let his wife do all the talking.
My dad is pretty much a robot himself.

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YOU APPLIED AT THE WRONG PLACE, FOO!

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Psssst. Have you tried applying here yet?

>>39164507
Kek, what? I'm working 40 hours a week and that gives me plenty of free time. Job starts 7:30 AM, ends 3:30 PM. I'm very happy with it. How can you be complaining about working less and earning this much? You sound like someone who never knew significant hardship in his life, who always did what he wanted until he finally had to find a job.

>>39166475
peter rodger and elliot rodger.jpg

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>("I can't believe I got called in to work today. The only thing that could make this worse is if that kid barged in to check on his application.")
>slurps audibly

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GET A JOB
EVEN IF IT'S PUMPIN' GASOLINE

>>39176689
These fucking threads always make me kek

Maybe not everyone on this board is a faggot after all.

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>>39160839
>a nice battle cry
oh jesus

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>>39164223
>Juannaytis
fuck's sake. i can't breathe

Almost like my dad except he demotivates me instead of motivating and pressures me into doing what he wants. After some bullshit things he did I just couldn't see him as a father figure anymore.

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>>39160484
>tfw dad is in town to ruin your day off of work.

>>39175073
My dad never talks to me, never asks about me, dont know my age, knows I study something dont know what and he is living in the same house with me. I wish I was never born anon. I was not meant to survive and live. I think I was only a toy baby and then I was forgotten and was made into a role of wall flower. I never understood why my parents wanted a dog and then they did get a dog and it died after some years, got another one. They are only happy with that dog. Why... why make babies if you are going to replace them with a fucking pet.

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>>39164223
Holy shit I cant breathe, put me in the screencap

>>39164223
I haven't laughed this hard at an R9K post in weeks if not months, well done

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Young adult goes into manager's office interviewing to get the job but forgets to give a firm handshake. UNEMPLOYMENT. Many such cases!

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"Women want someone who'll provide for them, Champ, which is why it's important you get off your keyster and get a job. Whaddya mean it'd be embarrassing? Champ, your mother and I aren't gonna be around forever, so it's time you got out into the wider world and took steps towards becoming an adult. And it's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you're the right man for the job. Heh, women will practically be chasing you once you get your first paycheck."

>>39180697
Well, in the hypothetical situation when the ideal woman comes to me, shall I give her a firm handshake and tell her I'm the right man for her?

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My father locked me in a smashed up caravan in the back yard so he could get welfare for me, because if I left the money would stop. Any time I tried to leave before hand he'd get violent.

It was my mothers idea, she also was a gambler and a drug addict along with him.

>tfw you may have had the worst childhood I'm 4chan.

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>>39180747
"It's all about being confident and making the first move, Champ. And maybe -- just maybe -- she'll be that lucky gal with whom you'll have a few kids. And having kids is important because it preserves your legacy and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you get old. Take notes, Champ: WHEN that happens and they're ready to have kids of their own, you'll be giving them this exact same pep talk."

>>39172098
>tfw no dad with a les paul