"Nothin' like a little job-hunting to get the week

>>39059504
Stop making these threads. My father is an old style kind of guy. Respect to him he's had it hard with my family, really beat down over the years, but he insists on social connections for getting jobs in major corporations, like "I know a guy at church who could put in a good word for you" when in reality, its "Have X experience Y references Z degree and we'll think about it". I don't know how to tell him but thankfully enough I don't have to anymore considering we don't live together. I miss him but OP

Stop making these threads.

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>*uses your resume as a coaster*

>>39059504
>you've spent the last three years doing nothing
Make that 10. Also fuck you old cunt, I ain't getting a job.

>>39059549
so because they make you uncomfortable, no one else should be exposed to good honest advice on how to get a job?

That's rather self centered.

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>>39059555
Trips o'truth. Ragie-wagies BTFO

>>39059549
your dad's actually right. although it's
Have X experience Y social connection(s) Z degree.

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>>39059549
>>39059555

"Excuses are the quitter's way out, Champ -- and though the Chaiprasits across the street may have raised one, I sure as hell didn't. When I was your age, I got my job down at the factory by rucking twelve miles through a blizzard just to get to the interview after my Mustang wouldn't start. It was the worst snowstorm in state history and when I got there, the manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. It's simply a matter of crawling outta that thick shell of yours, walking into the store to speak with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll the best hire they've ever made. Four simple steps, Champ!"

>>39059606
I was going to make a pretend-angry reply, but these typos in your pasta really took me out of it.

>>39059549
It is actually social connections for anything decent.

I'd hire my friend or a friend of a friend 100x over some random.

You don't even have to be that special, just someones friend.

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"Great job applying to that supermarket, Champ. Working there will allow to do all those things you've always wanted to do, like saving for a rainy day. But now it's time for our morning pick-me-up: A venti Coffee, a grande Cold Brew, and a double shot espresso for me, and a tall Decaf for you, Champ. You know as well as I do that caffeine will make you nervous and antsy, and I need you focused. FOCUSED like a laser beam on getting a job."

"While we're up there, you might as well check to see if they're hiring, too. Oh, don't gimme any of that mularkey about having to go online. Champ, when I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. It was the worst snowstorm in state history, and the manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. It's all about getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you're the right man for the job. Time's a wastin', Champ."

>>39059549
He is partially correct. Cold calls have next to no chance of working, speaking from experience of having inexperience and a distinct lack of social connections.

CHAMP! CHAMP! CHAMP!

DAD I JOINED THE COAST GUARD

ILL SUCK DUCK IN ACAPULCO

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"Oh, don't be so glum, Champ. You'll meet a lot of people and make new friends when you get a job. Who knows? One of them might be that special gal with whom you'll raise a family. And raising a family is important because it makes you responsible and accountable, and it ensures someone will be around to take care of you when you're old."

"But before you do all that, you've gotta get a job. And getting one is as simple as speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Girls will practically be chasing you when you get your first paycheck, Champ."

>>39059504
Jokes on you i already collect disability because of autism

>>39060230

I TOLD YOU ALREADY YOU DEAF FUCK

IVE JOINED THE COAST GUARD TO GUZZLE CUM IN HAITI

SALUTE ME YOU POS CIVILIAN

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"Hey, Champ, mind if I talk to you for a minute? Look, Champ, your mother and I have been worried about you. You stay in this room all day playing computer games, and it's not good for your development as a person. You need to get outside, see the world, and talk to people, Champ. When I was your age, I was getting into all kinds of trouble and meeting girls. Your peers are outside grabbing the world by its tail, and you're inside glued to the screen all day. You're wasting your life."

"Today, I'm going to drive you around town to look for a job -- and we're not turning back until someone hires you on the spot, Champ. Getting a job is real simple. You've just gotta walk in there and ask for the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. That's all there is to it, Champ."

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My conversation with my dad a few minutes ago

>Champ, your mother and I are getting worried about you. We think it's time you went outside and got a job. Get dressed and meet me in the car. I'm driving you to find a job, and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot.
>i'm not sure, i'll think about it
>You've been spending too much time inside, so you might as well meet people, make some money on your own, and live a normal life. You can buy a new computer once you get your first paycheck.
>okay, i'll think about it and let you know

Looks like my family can't take it anymore.

Help.

>>39060844
kek
fucking lost it

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"You take the pledge yet there, Champ? There's nothin' about you that hard work can't cure. And finding a place to work is as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they've ever made."

I feel
SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

>apply for bottom of the barrel supermarket job
>8 dollars an hour, as I walk in I see a guy with downs syndrome bagging groceries
>Interviewer is physically repulsed by my presence
>Try to go for a firm handshake but panic and wet noodle the shit out of her
>again, she is visibly repulsed by me
>confidence levels at .05%
>Well anon, backround checks usually only take about 5-10 minutes to come back, just wait here
>HALF A FUCKING HOUR LATER
>Wow that's strange, your background check just doesn't seem to be coming back, I guess we'll just contact you when it comes back
>The bitch is smirking at me while she says it
>Even background checks are repulsed by me
>It's been 4 days now, clearly they lied to get me out of the store and away from them.
>confidence levels now at 0%

fuck this meme, fuck this gay earth

>>39059549
You're a fucking idiot. Social connections, "I know a guy at church who could put in a good word for you", supersede literally all the "Have X experience Y references Z degree and we'll think about it" loops you have to jump through.

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>>39061392
"Excuses are for quitters, Champ. And I didn't raise a quitter. Now it's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. If they don't hire you, you could simply try somewhere else. It's as simple as that, Champ."

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"Perhaps he is wondering why he should consider your application, before you've introduced yourself with a firm handshake. No one cared who I was until I shook the hand."

Memes aside, get a job you useless faggit.

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>>39061694
GET A JOB
EVEN IF IT'S PUMPING GASOLINE
SHAKIN' HARD, FIRM, AND MEAN
AND ON I SHAKE
SHAKIN' MY DIRECTION
GET THE JOB WITH A FIRM HANDSHAKE

>>39061725
FUCK YOU CUNT!! HALF OF THE JOBS IVE GOTTEN HAVE BEEN THROUGH HANDSHAKES!! STOP MISINTERPRETING ADVICE!!!!!!

>got fired from my job a month ago
>can't get a single call back from anywhere
>grandmother keeps telling me to apply at bottom barrel jobs
>"everyone starts at the bottom anon!"

My last job I was getting paid $20/hour with benefits. I only got fired because my manager quit and they hired a turbo cunt to replace him that didn't like me because I'm socially autistic/didn't like to be a part of office drama.

>>39062139
Listen to her you retard, go change rubbish bins or pick apples until you can find something simmilar to your last jobs. Being unemployed is just fuckin stupid.

>>39062180
t. Mcdonalds employee

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>>39059504
>tfw dad doesnt give 2 cents about me and just tells me to get on welfare benefits
I HATE THIS FUCKING GHETTO FAMILY

>>39062198
No relief milker. Which is objectively better.

Does anyone else have a crippling fear of handing in resumes in store? It feels fucking humiliating

>>39062404
Nah, although I worked as a linesmans assistant for 4 years, fuckin car people always staring at me. Thinking im some lowley roadlayer.

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>>39062404
"Champ, it's all about putting your game face on and taking the initiative. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. It was the worst snowstorm in state history, and the manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. I nearly lost my fingers and toes to frostbite that day, so don't tell me about your problems, Champ. It's all about getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you're the right man for the job."

>>39059504

My parents unironically tried making me do the "hand in your resume and shake the managers hand" routine.

Later, when I was working in retail, I would see kids doing the same and I felt horrible as our boss would shake their hand and say "great, great" and then immediately after toss their resume in the bin.

>>39061424
Yes you did, you systematically humiliated me throughout my life ensuring I would lack any sort of confidence applicable to real life. Oh and I got molested because you were such a shitty father you would prefer to drop me off at a community center every day so you could drink and do drugs with your friends and one of the employees there caught on and molested me, thanks for that too by the way. Let me just plaster this fake smile on my face and pretend I ever had a chance against anyone with a normal childhood or a father figure

>>39059549

I felt so bad for my dad when he did this.

>I have a lot of friends and connections in construction anon, I'll put in a good word

>Get your resume ready just in case, you're over qualified anyway

>So...anon, it's been a couple of months, have you set up the interviews or trials, or...

>"No one has called back Dad"

>Oh...I told them you were my boy, real hard worker...

>"It's okay dad, I'll keep checking online"

>Oh, okay then, that's great. They'll probably call soon.

The worst one was when he got into a fight with his old union supervisor.

>Gets email from his union
>Need urgent workers
>Great opportunity for young people
>The applications are about a month overdue
>Tries anyway
>Yeah, we're desperate. Can't fill the roles at all! Got someone?
>Yeah, my son, he's got "x" and "x" qualifications
>Oh
>What?
>I'm only going to hire women or torres straight islanders
>Why?
>Gotta get the numbers up
>Yeah, but you said you're desperate. It's just one position
>Yeah, I can't make allowances like that
>But I put so much into the union...
>Yeah, but it's...Look, if you know any girls or aboriginals, call us back
>No, wait. That's not fair

Etc etc. Got really heated.

Fuck I hate being someone's son. I know he wanted a chad

>>39061310

>S.W.E.A.T. Pledge

>Written by a fucking faggot actor whose never had a real job and coasted on his looks

Thanks Chad.

>>39062404

It is humiliating because it's utterly redundant.

I used to work for the Australian equivalent of Wal-Mart. They never get rid. People laugh at the people handing them in or just bitch about them wasting their time.

I don't know how many fucking dense parents or Indians have to be told;

>We
>Do
>Not
>Hire
>In
>The
>Fucking
>Store
>Go
>The
>Fuck
>Online

>>39059504
Hey friendo, rather than making this thread every few days why not just see a temp service agency? Could get a nice little factory or warehouse job.

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>>39062498

"So you up for a game of catch 'ere, sport?"

>>39062530
The point of these threads is making getting a job look easy, and at least your dad realizes it's not as simple as looking the manager in the eye and giving him a firm handshake.

>>39062593

I know. Just pointing out that my dad was one of those guys until he went and tried it on for himself.

Just got an interview on Thursday, would need to move to my dads who lives 200 miles away live in his tiny spare room and work in a call center 6 days a week. Think I'm going to pass on this one.

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>>39062540
>>39061310
This, Mike Rowe is a fucking crook

>has a degree in "communication studies", whatever the fuck that means
>was an actor, a talk-show host, an opera singer - never held a real job ever

He's probably insecure about it, and that's why he has built this fake hard-working-tradesman persona for himself

>>39059504
Unironically thank you OP. These are some of the funniest posts I've seen on r9k. Keep up the good work.

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I dont want a job
ree

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>>39063166
"Whoever said you had a choice, Champ?"

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>>39061352
"Don't, Champ. You'll have lots of fun when you get a job. It'll allow you do to all those things you've always wanted to do, like saving for a rainy day. And to get one, all you've gotta do is show up, speak with the manager about getting the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him that you'll be the best hire they've ever made. That's all there is to it. Girls will practically be chasing you when you get your first paycheck."

>>39059504
this meme is getting stale lads, needs some new additions

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"I heard that they were hiring here, so you might as well apply while we're in the neighborhood. Whaddya mean you've gotta apply online and go through 'HR?' I know just how badly you wanna be with your "way-foo," but that's the biggest crock I've heard yet. Getting a job is simply a matter of crawling outta that thick shell of yours, walking in there, and asking to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever had. Never hurts to try, Champ."

>wake up
>go downstairs to get a drink
>mom immediately starts nagging me about a job

holy shit, its like FUCK man, so frustrating and annoying

life would be perfect if she'd just drop dead or fucking stop nagging me, literally not even a burden for her, i pay for everything myself, the only thing i do is sleep under her roof

wow you guys are the laughing stalk of the entire internet. You fucking NEETS. Complete waste of space. I'll see you dumbfucks when I blow your brains out during the zombie apocolypse. I know you'll still be cooped up in your homes with supplies, better learn how to shoot a gun or your ass is mine bitches.

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"Not so fast regular dads. I shall deprive all your sons of firm handshakes!"

"Now they'll be in your house, FOREVER!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH"

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>>39059504
This reply really shouldn't be in THIS thread.

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>>39064007

You know what that means: Get in the car, Champ.

>have a well paying full time job
>have Friends I go out with regularly
>have my own car
>still they manage to make me feel like shit for not finishing college

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>>39064576
>have a well paying full time job
Good job, Champ. 'Atta boy.

>>39059504
>hey son I can get you a job with a friend of mine, what u think?
>sorry dad I dont wanna work yet
>he dies
>now I need job, nobody hires me

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>>39064605
>YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED!!

>>39064625
I know.
NOW
IS
TOO
LATE
btw today I applied for jobs again anyways

>>39059728
>>39059728
>But now it's time for our morning pick-me-up: A venti Coffee, a grande Cold Brew, and a double shot espresso for me, and a tall Decaf for you, Champ.

Wow that's harsh. Fuck decaf.

>>39060844
> You can buy a new computer once you get your first paycheck.

Tax, transport, health insurance, uniform, minimum wage, lunch at work. Total paycheck = $178

Kek

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dont talk to me before I had my coffee

original coffee

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>>39064771
"Um, sir, m-my name is A-anon, and I w-wanna... w-work here..."

*extends hand nervously and slowly*

>Now that all those kids are heading back to school, it should be easier for you to walk in and find work

Too close to home.

>>39059549
Depends on the job. For menial wageslave shit or comfy office jobs, you have to know someone. For good jobs, it's as you say.

Jesus I jumped out off the Neet bus at the very last second. What are the worst parts of being one?

>>39062530

Gotta love those forced diversity hires. Bet you any money that the abbo cunt they hired just huffed petrol then nicked whatever he could.

>>39060230
But Dad I'm an antinatalist. I'm not having kids, that would be subecting them to this same BS I'm going through or worse

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>>39065455
"Anti-natalist, schmatalist, Champ. Having kids is a part of growing up. Having them makes you responsible and accountable. It also ensures that your legacy will live on and that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old."

"WHEN you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this same pep-talk. But before you do all that, you've gotta get a job. And getting one is as simple as speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they've ever made. Girls will practically be chasing you when you get your first paycheck, Champ."

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>>39064735
Stop being an entitled brat. If you don't earn enough money to use a computer, you don't deserve to have one in the first place. But I can help you out, Champ. I'll go out and get the car ready and I'll drive you to your workplace. You'll go to your manager, look him straight in the eyes, and tell him you deserve a raise. Three simple steps. How do you think I was able to afford our third Mercedes?

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>>39065543
I tried, dad. But when I approached him, he waved me off and told me not to bother him until he's finished his coffee.

>>39064932
I've been NEET and I've been a wage slave and let me tell you, without a social life, being a wage slave is much worse. The only upside of having a job is having money which you can spend on your social life. If you don't have a social life, it just makes your life hell.

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>>39065572
Champ, you godda let a man finish his coffee, it's common courtesy .

>>39065593
But he was just sipping it languidly. He was SITTING ON it dad

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>>39065630
Look, patience is a vital part of being an adult. Hell, you think other dads would deal as calmly with your shit as I have?

>>39065455
I thought about this once. I think that it's like introducing a game you've played to someone you know. You can walk them through the parts you had trouble with and point out the interesting stuff most people would miss. Only this game is a game that you've spent a ton of time and effort on - life.

It's like you get to guide a clone of yourself through life and basically replay a game you might not have done so well at. Biologically speaking, we can't just reproduce asexually since complex life can only come from sexual reproduction. So having a child is the closest option you're going to get.

There was a theory that we live to pass down our genes. But maybe the genes are just the conduits through which knowledge flows. Like you get to clone yourself again and again, playing the game a bit better each time.

Imagine a conservative family had a son that became extremely liberal. Since having a child is the closest you're going to get to cloning, basically the father, if put in the same shoes as the son, would have become liberal as well. The new environment was the result of the son's liberal identity.

>>39065669
*The new environment resulted in the son's liberal identity.

>have a job
>life is still shit
T-thanks dad

>>39059728
is that supposed to be a /comfy/ NEET in the background?

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>>39065815
"You wouldn't feel that way if you got a second one, Champ. Your job doesn't nearly give you as many hours as it should, and it's time you learned the value of a hard week's work. Getting a second one is as easy as when you got the first: Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. It's about staying busy, Champ. No son of mine will spend a waking moment idle."

>>39062498
Yeesh, that's rough man. I'm sorry things shook out that way :(

>>39062590
you're a real piece of shit

>>39065883
But I already work 80 hour weeks dad, on top of trying to finish my degree I'm not sure where I could fit in a second job.

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>>39063157
These are only funny when the No Talky guy comes and joins the ERP

>>39065930
he's right there in the OP tho

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Psst. Have you applied here yet? It's worth a try.

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"Mid-day break for lunch, Champ. You'll look forward to these when you start working. I'll get us two Grilled Chicken Sandwich meals with two Sweet Teas and eight pieces of Chick-Fil-A sauce. No tendies, Champ. Fried food is a one way ticket to an early grave on the high cholesterol express. You could do with a salad. Hey, cashier! He's skipping the tendies. Probably a good idea, right?"

"I'm afraid that's not the only reason why I brought you here, Champ. While we're ordering, you might as well ask the manager to see if he's hiring. Stand up straight, speak with him about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. Whaddya mean 'I've got a box of Chick-N-Strips in my hand?' These are for the dog, Champ. You can buy your own once you get your first paycheck."

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>>39066916
>No tendies
THIS FARCE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH, FATHER!

>>39066916
Gibs tendies tho

>>39066916
>back of Chick-fil-A literally has a sign indicating they only accept college graduates

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>>39066614
Father, these kinds of Jobs are beneath me

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>>39059504
>mfw some kid walked in the restaurant i work at with his mom
>'c-can i speak with the manager'
>afternoon shift and supervisor only which is me
>offers me a hand shake and say he is looking for work
>half chuckle almost immediately
>retarded grin during entire 'interview'

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>>39059549
>>39062530
>>39064007
>>39064605
Thess really get to me. I had to ask a friend's dad for help with my resume because mine never taught me. My parents are upper middle class and completely absorbed in their own lives. I've been a neet for over a year and they've brought up employment maybe 3 or 4 times.
Fuck man. Why did my parents never fet to know me? What the hell did I do?

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>>39067209
"Raise the LCL compression density level to the limit. We don't have time to deal with a child's tantrums."

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>>39067341
GIB TENDIES, OR FACE MY WRATH!!

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>>39067306
Good shit, anon. But did he get the job, though?

>>39067560
pfft, nah

>>39067560
I mentioned to my manager and he said he will call him when he can. This was a week ago.

I love these threads
Originalaia

>>39062530
fuck that last line really got me.

my dad died when i was 12 to cancer. we were very close. i wish he hadn't died, and i never really thought about it much. but in a way i am kinda glad he died so he wouldn't be so disappointed in the person i've become.

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At least where I live (socal) you can apply to any job agency (there's like 300 in every city) and get a warehouse job.

I started in December getting paid 12.50 , and I got hired by the company in June so now I get 14.50 plus benefits. And my job is piss easy. I've fucked around with a few of the girls here too. You work with a bunch of niggers and spics though (doesn't matter to me though since I'm a spic). You can even be an autist and not talk to anyone .

>>39062764
you don't think singing opera is a real job but stocking shelves at wal-mart is?

want to know how I know you'll never make more than 20 000 dollars a year..?

>>39068086
>literally getting paid for exhaling
>real job

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Jobless young adults are misguided and lazy. They don't know how to shake hands to get a job! I WILL TEACH THEM.

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"So, how's the job hunt going, Champ? You know, it's best if we followed up in person. I'll drive you there, and I won't take no for an answer. Remember, Champ: Stand up straight, speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made."

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>apply for a job opening
>walk in
>give manager firm handshake AND a warm smile
>get hired
>have nothing but compliments and people are glad to have me on the same shift

lmao gg you goons

>>39062441
Goddamn it, dad, stop crawling on the ceiling! How many fucking times do I have to tell you?!

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Hey dad, just gonna fill out these online applications.

>>39071460
Sure Champ just show me 12 receipts in your email when you're done

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>>39071460
*disappointed dad speech and call to action*

This meme makes me very uncomfortable, it hits too close to home.

These threads are fucking exhausting.

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>>39071753
"The only thing that's exhausting is being unemployed, Champ. You've gotta start thinking about your future, Champ. And there's no better way to get started than by getting a job. Your mother and I drive you around town to apply because we care, and no one else will. At some point, you're gonna have to seize the initiative and take that first step. And you can do that by crawling outta that thick shell of yours, walking into the store to speak with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. That's all there is to it, Champ."

3 weeks ago I walked into a place I found online that said it wanted people for shelf-stocking sort of work in a warehouse and literally immediately got the job, $10.50 an hour, not bad for a temporary summer job. I can even go back to school and then jump back into the same job next summer and during winter.

They didn't ask for ANY past employment history, the "interview" was like "the times are such and such monday through friday oh and here's a red shirt they want you to wear while working"

It's just I understand people complaining about not being able to find a job like after college or something, because they're talking about skilled jobs

If you can't find bottom of the barrel walmart or warehouse tier jobs I really don't know what the fuck to tell you, I mean the only possibility is that all of you live somewhere horribly inconvenient.

A guy who also signed up is a literal retard, he got the job just fine too.

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>>39072219
Haha fuck that, what's the point of being a tryhard? There's no fucking prize at the end. Get drunk, smoke pot, and jack off. I can live the rest of my life off savings in Mexico.

>>39072897
people routinely get their life's savings stolen by gangsters in Mexico. While I get what you are saying, I would probably choose a country that isn't as systemically corrupted

>Son, you need to go to college and get an education so you can get a good job and won't have to work a dead-end job
>Son, I know you just graduated from college with the intention of getting a good job, but there aren't any anymore (forgot to tell you that before, sorry champ) so just apply to be a dishwasher at the cheap Italian restaurant, champ.

>>39072973
You keep your income stream in dollars or euro in a first world country, family. Nobody buys pesos unless they need to buy something and they don't take cards.

>>39072979
This but they are pissed like it is all my fault. It is my fault but Im getting tired of this. I went to that school and there were no jobs then I attended uni and still no jobs. I wish they were at least as polite as you write it but they still think I will make a lot of money because I have worthless degree and no experience. Take anything and go miles away hours of daily commute for minimum wage. No fuck it. Either I get some job I can at least stand or Im just killing myself. Have fun having no grandchildren and helping yourself while being old with less money.

>>39072853
In some countries they wont hire you if you have degree for these jobs. There is no walmart in where I live or warehouse jobs. Nothing like that exist here. You either have network of people, get lucky or leech of parents...Being born in a bad place at bad time makes all the difference.

Basically have even worthless degree=no bottom of barrel job here
Have no experience in bottom of barrel? no job for you even if its non livable wage. These is no winning here.

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TO MAKE SURE YOU GET JOB, YOU MUST APPLY IN PERSON
APPLY IN PERSON

THEN YOU MUST SPEAK WITH MANAGER AND SHAKE HIS HAND
SHAKE HIS HAND

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"So you didn't get the job, Champ? It's okay. Proud of ya for trying. There's always tomorrow, Champ."

>try to apply for overnight cleaner
>5 years experience needed
>tagalog fluency strongly preferred
FATHER PLEASE WHAT DO I DO?

>>39059504
Thank fucking god I'm a csfag.

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>>39075145
"Champ, the older you get, the more you realize that those requirements are insignificant next to the power of a firm handshake -- or a handshake de firma or whatever they call it down there -- and a face-to-face discussion as to why you're the best candidate for the job. Try it, Champ. Couldn't hurt."

>>39075145

Apply anyway, the shit they put up is like r9k's ideal gf threads, nobody's ever gonna get it

>>39068086
>>39068139
btfo lmaoooo
orig

>>39075145
>tagalog fluency

I hope that's a joke

REEEEEEEE THIS THREAD IS TRIGGERING ME!!!!!

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>>39075491
"There's nothing about your attitude that 40 hours of hard work a week couldn't fix, Champ. Kids these days with their safe spaces and buzzwords and all that. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. It was the worst snowstorm in state history, and the manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. I nearly lost my fingers and toes to frostbite that day, so I expect a lot more outta you, Champ. And getting a job is all about crawling outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you're the right man for the job."

Literally im a NEET loser 24 and live with my parents. My grandma just moved in with us because her husband committed suicide. She nags at me ALL fucking day.

>Climb on the roof and fix the chimney
>do the dishes so your mom wont have to'
>im taking you to apply for jobs in person

WHEN EVERY FUCKING PLACE SHE TAKES ME IS ONLINE AN D THE DUMB CUNT JUST DOSENT UNDERSTAND THAT TIMES HAVE FUCKNG CHANGED.

Then she always sighs in disappointment like its my goddamn fault these places are online. AND its my goddamn fault im not receiving any phone calls from apps I have filled out.

No wonder grandpa shot himself in the fucking head. Fuck my grandma

>>39075243
>>39075281
But Daaaaaaaaad, the manager is a filipino who can barely fucking speak english

>>39075473
The worst kept secret in Canada is the fact that corporations love to legally bring in foreign workers through the TFW programs by claiming that no Canadians applied for the position. Overnight cleaners in Ottawa are pretty much entirely people from the Philippines.

>>39059504
>This fucking image

The nostalgia from that grocery store hurts, it's still there but I can't visit it anymore

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>>39066916
>grilled chicken sandwich
I WANNA SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH AND A CHOCOLATE CHUNK COOKIE DAD FUCK YOOOOUU

>>39075449
samefaging is pathetic, but understandable, fag

>>39059504
This meme was never funny desu

>>39075581
Who gives a fuck. It's not her house. Just do what you want.

>>39075581
I was going to say that sitting around waiting for calls is doing nothing in her perspective since she and her husband probably lived through the depression, but .... yeaah, nevermind

>>39076425
>we'll call you
>call them instead
>immediately get tossed into do-not call list since you clearly can't follow directions
It ain't easy being cheesy.

>>39075473
I work in a restaurant, and I can confirm that this is one hundred percent accurate. One of our waitresses even got sent back to the Philippines

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"N-NANI? I'd recognize that handshake anywhere. Did the Handshake Master himself gain a heir? Take any position you want my lord!"

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>>39077117
*shakes your hand*
New personnel, boss.

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>they used my resume as kindlier again

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>>39062764
He said he really wanted to be a tradesman, just like his grandfather, but he and himself both soon realized he wasn't cut out for it--just didn't have the talent. Are you capable of the career/occupation your grandfather or father were? Maybe not.

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>be 27 with no job experience
>filling out online applications just for the fuck of it
>long story short i start next Monday

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>>39067920

same. my dad died when I was 14, kind of happy he never had to see me turn out like this.

>>39077414
No interview?

I'm incredulous

>>39059549
>like "I know a guy at church who could put in a good word for you" when in reality, its "Have X experience Y references Z degree and we'll think about it".

you are so ignorant it hurts

take it from someone who has worked a corporate job for 10 years, 6 of them as a manager

it is 90% about who you know and 10% about your resume

>spend 4 years after school on the dole
>get a job in a security firm, money handling to begin with but he manager says there's a lot of upwards mobility with people retiring
>tell dad the news
>see him smile properly for the first time in years
I'm gonna make it pop
I'm gonna make it

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Dad! Can't you see this? This guy is green. Lets just get the hell out of here. I don't want to work for some kind of frog man. He's probably deranged

>>39067920
meanwhile anon's father cries impotently in heaven