ok /r9k/, when you wipe do you fold, crumple, or both? personally

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>>39053976
Squat and you can won't even need to wipe.

Finally a good thread. All day with this /pol/ bullshit.

Crumple always. This puts more material between your hand and the fecal matter.

>>39053976
I use water
fucking disgusting

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Technique mybra showed me

>>39054009
*need to wipe 99% of times

The real question is: do you wipe standing up or sitting down?

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If 2 ply, fold 3 sheets
If 1 ply, wrap around and 3 times
I usually have 1 ply because it seems to last way longer and is generally cheaper.

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Squat like nature intended

>>39053976
Crumple and piiiiiiiinnnnch.

>>39054038
>wipe standing up
The type of people that do this are the same type of people that shower at 2 in the morning and have frozen pizza for lunch

>>39054015
this, always water, if I don't have it, then first 1 roll of fold, then 1 roll of crumble

>>39054038
WHO THE FUCK STANDS UP AND WIPES. YOU FUCKING NIGGER, GO BACK TO DETROIT

>>39053976
I take exactly two pieces of paper, no more, no less, fold them ,and wipe. I'll usually only do this about 2-3 times, even if there are stains on the papers after this due to me not wanting to waste papers.

>>39054014
i crumple first to get the big stuff then fold to clean the rest
>>39054038
sitting down you cretin

https://youtu.be/YbYWhdLO43Q

SQUAT

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>>39054074
mfw my finger rips through the paper

>>39054047

The real frugal cunt top is buying multiple ply and making multiple single ply rolls out of it.

>>39054108
I am way too lazy for that life anon.

>>39053976
I haven't wiped since high school.

Just use water in the shower. Only ever shit in shower, vast majority of the time, too.

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>>39054064
I stand up with my right side, but my left stays half planted for stability. How fucked am I?

>>39053976
fold
then shower

>>39054062
wtf is wrong with you anon? what if you pinch your ass hairs?

>>39054100
>>39054058
>>39054009

Are you guys from some third-world shithole?

>>39054173
not at all, i do the exact same thing

>>39054188

He's porbly a hairless sissy faggot.

>>39054188
let them sift through

>>39053976

i use baby wipes, then dry myself with toilet paper

then i fart too hard and im walking around with shit making my ass itch

Crumple/standing up master race here

>>39054211
>>39054173

Can one of you draw a diagram of exactly what you are describing? How does one stand up with one side of the ass firmly planted?

>>39054236
you're still pulling them though, that's gotta hurt

>>39053976

Fold

and before the first wiping, I touch the pad of my toungue to the TP, so that the wiping is slightly wet.

>>39054188
I have really smooth ass hair so i pinch and pull to keep em clean after wiping.

Never once hurt.

Funny though i have silky ass hair but my facial hair is hard, super sensitive and painful.

Fuck life.

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>>39054252
my unholy diagram

>>39053976

Kind of a combo. I fold it a bit then crumple, usually 3-4 squares at a time. Horribly inefficient and I'm pretty sure I've developed hemorrhoids from wiping too hard but anyway

>>39054038

Standing up, while bending over and prying my asscheek apart. This is the reason my rear right delt muscle is way bigger than the other, I'm sure. How to wipe sitting down?

>>39054292
>silky ass hair
holy fucking shit my sides

>>39054064
No, I wipe sitting.

>>39054294

How in the fuck can you call that standing up?

>>39054292
You never shave your ass hair so it never has to grow back thicker.

>>39054064

wha... HOW DID YOU KNOW?

>>39054100
>raise legs to get the right angle between legs and torso
Why not lean forward to get the angle?

>>39054373
it's not really standing up, it's more leaning

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>>39054252
original dooble poo poo

>>39054464

Yes. I understand the position now. What I don't understand is how you think this is standing up on one side.

>>39054384

>Adopt suggested position
>Shit is waterier and with more escape velocity than expected
>Shit all over back of toilet

>>39054544
it is. It feels like it. So it must be. Pls no bully.

>>39053976
>>39054038
Crumple and stand

>>39054195
youre the one with shit on your ass lol