Share something true about you that nobody else here will believe

Can you gift 5$ to a Third country robot?
:(

>>39021744
buy me things with your money, o wealthy one

>>39021744
I actually almost killed a man twice.

give me some money for booze please

i am a hot fem bot w 25 inch waist and DDD boobs

Im told I could be a model or actor with my pretty face and well proportioned body.

I'm related to Melania Trump.

I have a hot Korean fuckbuddy that begs me to get her pregnant whenever we fuck

>>39021744
I actually had a pretty decent girl (6/10) message me first on Tinder asking if I wanted to have sex.

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>>39021744
I'm the extreme weed guy who always posts how high he is, but I actually stopped smoking weed months ago to determine if it was helping my pain or if I was just getting high. Turns out it was helping my chronic pain and I'm getting on medical marijuana.

I'm Lil Pump

I've smoked weed with Donald Glover a couple years back while he watched me program.

I have qt gf

>>39021819
was it the same man? or you almost killed a man on two separate and unrelated situations?

My penis smells of anal sex about five minutes ago with a female (girl).

I've taken three virginities the last one being at 27 with a 26 yo muslim girl.

I am capable of creating actual artificial general intelligence.

>>39021744
I have 3 illegitimate children and i dont pay child support

>>39022162
Two different people, two separate situations.

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Colon cancer. Also da joos.

I ran into Tom Felton (guy who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter) face to face with two of my friends while he was completely alone. It was in a convention's dealer room, behind the curtains around the edges of the room where they stores piles of boxes with stuff.

We were looking for an out of the way place to drink (it was daytime) and he was walking very fast, we didn't even realize it was him. Probably one of the weirdest encounters of my life, just randomly encountering Malfoy in a maze of boxes. he did a panel at the con we went to later that day where some girl asked him for a hug in front of the audience and he agreed. cool guy

>>39021744
When I was a kid I was kidnapped by a crazy cult who thought I was the antichrist, they intended to have a ritual where they would brand me with "the mark of the beast" to awaken my "dark powers" but I was rescued thanks to a tip before that happened. It wasn't a very big organisation, but its members were either given death or life because they had kidnapped and ritually murdered a couple teen girls.

We later moved because even though there people in my town weren't really devout, people didn't trust us or me. Not that the cult was close, it was hours away from where I lived, but these people literally scouted what would be the equivalent to grade schools across the country to find the antichrist and somehow they figured it was me.

Strangely enough I'm not really scarred by the experience, it was very scary while it was going on for sure, but I think I got over it pretty well. I just don't like to think about it much.

>>39022298
You are the chosen one, destined to lead the beta uprising search your feelings you know it to be true.

>>39021744
I had a gf in fifth grade

>>39022298
Forgot to mention that because I was so young, my family was pissed, and because the case in general was a massive embarrassment to the country's police during a fairly unstable time for the government that the whole thing was just covered up. At least the part about me, they just said that the group were some serial rapist murderers.

>im a good looking virgin female that turned down being popular in school and i never had an instagram or facebook account

Seinfeld is my second cousin.

>>39022395
Assuming your not bullshitting, how does a seemingly modest female like you get into the cesspool of raw human degeneracy that is 4chan?

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>>39022429
I've realized something.

I am in a couple of those online cartel videos (wearing a mask) where they hack people to death

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>>39022486
9/10
would murder with
have you actually like idk,participated?

>>39022536
I've only done the chopping once but i help out in the other ones

>>39022429
main reasons:
1. i cant connect with normies/ dont like them
2. i can relate to a lot of things on r9k
3. im weird

>>39022486
what kind of people are hacked to death? how do you pick who

>>39022234
>>39021819

You can't just say that and not tell the whole stories

>inb4 its something boring like a traffic accident

>>39022407
the most interesting thing in this thread
except >>39022486

I lost 100 grand playing PLO, I tried hanging myself but the cord broke, going to try again very soon.

>>39021888
Either
>a bot
>an autistic guy
>a girl 'aving a giggle

im related to a civil war

>>39022571
Our enemies or their brothers usually.

>>39022585
I got jumped on and almost choke a guy too death once. Second time I stuffed a sharpened stick in a guy who was bullying me. Second time I was like a teenager. It's pretty boring.

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I lost my sense of smell as a child.

>>39022692
So you can be in gross situations without feeling grossed out? Like watching people shit? Cause the smell is half the experience

>>39022692
As a person who lost most of smell and taste, I have to ask. Did you enjoy chemistry in your school?

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i have tried to killed my self six time and failed

everyone gave up on me
they expect me to die any time

its like im a living dead man

now i dont care anymore and i enjoyed the suffering

>>39022760
how exactly did you fail?

>>39022714
Bad smells don't bother me. I can't tell they're even there. If it's really really bad I can still kind of taste it on the air when I'm breathing though and that's pretty nasty.

It makes me paranoid about hygiene sometimes because I have no way to tell if I smell or not. I got bullied a lot in school because of it.

>>39022729
I didn't enjoy it in particular. Does chemistry have some relation to being unable to smell?

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Same here, OP. Inherited it after rich uncle NEET died. He won the lottery. I was the only one who did not care and played pretend to get his money. Never begged or anything unlike the rest of the family. I treated him like normal. I was always on good terms with him because we were both had a lot of things in common. The rest of the family always condemned that "waste of air". When he won, thry all of a sudden were "good friends" with him. He knew their bullshit and filed court orders against them. They tried to file lawsuits but the judge knew it was bullshit and threw out the cases.

man that photo looks aesthetic as fuck, i can only imagine that is a hot summer morning in california on like some racetrack bleachers. I'd fuck that girl then and there raw and then enjoy my merry ass californian day

>>39022486
How do I join the cartel?

>>39022822
Not sure, I always volunteered to all the chemistry shit in school and then bam, crippled smell or taste.

>>39022714
Basically.

I met Stoya in a psych ward last year.

>>39022858
You kinda have to grow into the culture. Lots of us are former pandilleros. Woud not recommend.

Stay in school robots

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>>39021744
There is literally nothing unbelievable about my life.

>>39021744
I fought a heavily biased court up until I graduated from high school. I somehow managed to talk myself out of nearly every bullshit case the city tried levying against me (dumb luck). At one point a representative of the school system contacted my mother resulting in her premature death (heart couldn't handle chemo and that degree of stress simultaneously). He looked me in the eye as be did it. I still vandalize his property from time to time and my only regret in life is not beating Joe Cox and his fuckbuddy Headbloom to death when I had the opportunity.

>>39022916
Me neither. Nothing interesting ever happens to me. I'm boring as hell

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>>39022770

>how exactly did you fail?

im still alive?? that means i failed

like i got liver disease from trying to overdose on pills and liquor two times and i got my stomach punped once and also i drink everyday

i got a steel rob i n my leg from drunk jumping off a roof and i broke 3 ribs hit a window on the way down and it slowed me down i guess now i walk with m cane

drunk crash my car n a tree in top speed i totalled it that was the first time i was trying to make it like a accident

im arrested a few times but im white so it got dismissed hhaha

ben to mental hospital too its like jail its really bad i hate it there i tricked those idiot so i can go home after weeks though then i tried again but sneaker

dont ever try exitbag it gave me brian damage now my eyes dont focus right i hate it

reading give me a head ache now

>>39022943
Why did the court have a case against you?

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>>39022567
Would you ever consider becoming a robot's gf?

Man. Robots are boring as fuck. The only interesting thing here is the nigga who's related to Seinfeld

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I'm still afraid of girls and without fail always make an ass out of myself when they're around.

I'm an MI6 spy.

>>39022963
There was a myriad of dogshit, anon. One case I remember in particular was when I accidentally knocked an acquaintance over and promptly apologized. I made an attempt to help her up before her sissyass beta pet literally fucking jumped in front of her. I shrugged it off, went to class and was arrested about half an hour later. During the hearing three months later; both the girl and her mother acknowledged me as a friend and evidence based off of camera footage and eyewitness testimony proved beyond a shadow of a fucking doubt it was accidental. I was let off with only one year of probation.

>>39021744
I got fired from my first job after making fun of a celebrity and making them cry, without realizing who it wa.s

>>39022974
it depends on, but most likely not

>>39023287
>it depends on
it depends on what?
>but most likely not
Figured.

>>39022904
hopefully you die a horrible death, spic cartels ruining everything they touch that is if they don't behead them like savages.

I got drunk with Tom Holland once, it was pretty cool.

>>39022974
really depends on who the person is and what he want from life

im kinda outdoorsy and i cant imagine being in a relationship with a neet

also me and the stereotypical robot don't have the same interests in common except for shitposting

>>39021744
I used to not shake my chocolate milk before I drank it in Elementary school.

>>39023428
Just trying to make a living, man

>>39023534
tell more about the killing, post vid

>>39023564
He could post whatever vid he wanted to and say he was in it.

>>39023564
Not so slick huh FBI

>>39023534
then get a job you beaner, instead of killing off families just to remain a bottom feeder anyway who could easily be expended at any minute, god you're stupid.

>>39023502
Where are you from?

This comment system is bullshit I swear to god.

I saw UFO when i was 8 or 9. I tought everybody had seen one but when i moved out of my rural community i got laughed at. I mean i dont blame them half the guys who claim they have seen or interacted with one (atleast in the news) are weirdos and people i wouldnt trust either. Also ancient aliens and people with their weird theories dont help.

Have had several kids with a relative and live as a family.

>>39023130
What occupation was that?

>>39023617
Bet you wouldn't say that to his face

>>39022692
How does tasting work? I've head that most of our sense of taste is largely dependent on our ability to smell.

>>39021744
I'm a passable trap.

>>39023661
Post a throwaway now. That boipussy is mine

>>39022070

That's pretty cool. I hope you're still here. How was he?

>>39023657
considering he's probably usually surrounded by his pack or carrying a gun probably not.

>>39023502
I don't really know what I want from life.

I'm a shut-in NEET but I'd propably let myself get dragged out if I had a gf.

Do girls want carbon copies of themselves or something? I don't really see how having different interests is a dealbreaker unless it's something you actively hate.

>>39023624
It was probably a satellite.

>>39021744
I'll be a millionaire when my parents die, too. Family works in real estate in a city that has exploding housing prices. For example mummy bought our house in the early 90s for like 300k. It is now worth 1.1 million. It is impossible to find a house worth less than 900k in this neighborhood. When I saw her cosign my apartment for school, she put her monthly income as 20k.

>>39022194
Can you elaborate a little? What do you mean by actual. I'd like to know more, AI stuff is fascinating.

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I have a lovely, affectionate tulpa who's helped me through some shit.

>>39023725
It was hovering around 100 meters with 3 fireballs or exhausts at the bottom and saucer shape also blue as sky. Basicly a flying saucer.

>>39023657
That's what the word Anonymous above your post is for, you smark.

>>39023747
Ahh, so you're crazy. That's cool, me too

>>39023798
It was just swamp gas, don't worry about it

>>39023658
Flavour is taste and smell combined so if you couldn't smell you'd fail to find depth of flavour within food but you'd still taste the food itself

>>39023824
I unironically want it to be a swamp gas.

>>39023798
That's fucking cool.

You should learn how to draw so you can re-create it.

>>39023838
Ever had strange dreams about being abducted?

>>39023091
Do you really work for MI6?

>>39023855
nope but i was afraid as hell and one of the reasons i moved to city
>>39023851
Drawing is one of my weaker sides

>>39021744
I'm well adjusted with a good job, friends, a happy marriage to a woman whose virginity I took, and a couple of kids.

>>39021744
I've been rejected by hundreds of women and it's because everyone wants me to kill myself.

I'm 26, NEET, and have a girlfriend of four years. Not online. Not long distance.

>>39024135
How doesn't she kill you? Is she cool with you being a NEET at 26?

>>39024181
I really have no idea. We started dating when I finished college. So it seemed I had some prospects, but nothing so far has come of it. She's gone through some long periods of unemployment herself while we've dated.

I got laid in my early teens/had gf's while being builled at school

>>39023735
I have this idea for an iterative ML model and a different type of training that should work around the curse of dimensionality.
I could start writing actual code, and test it on a bunch of problems, it's just, zero motivation, and i've got other priorities in life.
If you want to learn about AI, i suggest taking up some online courses.

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>>39021744

I took a poo resembling Barry White

>I'm related to Ted Bundy.

Don't think I inherited anything from him though.

>>39023698
here's the thing man. People, in general, don't want somebody they have to drag out to do things. They want somebody that has passions and does shit themselves. Somebody that is interesting to them. The way you worded the letting yourself get dragged out is that its something you would put up with because, hey, gf and all the advantages there. You wouldn't actually enjoy it, but you'd grin and bear it. That wears on both you fucking fast. You cant keep up the smile as much, you start passing on those little adventures. Shit falls apart. Same interests? Not that important. A willingness to explore that shit covers it decently well. But a generally similar lifestyles is pretty big.

>>39021744
>i had sex like 300-400 times (only 2 girls)
>i did literally everything (bdsm peeing etc.)
>i have 10+ friends
>im very handsome (like 10/10) its very rare that i see a man more handsome than me on the street only internet
>im still autistic and deppressed most of the time (i have an intp like personality)
>i was arested and sold drugs

I had gay sex with a closeted Chad in school. Ever since then he did the "leave him alone, anon's cool" stuff to others.

i might not be a khhv in some days

>>39025317
Maybe I would end up enjoying it, especially with a gf.
How should I know if I haven't tried?
Maybe it wouldn't work out in the end but there is no way of telling that before.

>>39025652
yeah you're right. You wont know until you try. So go out and do that shit man. Go hiking, go rock climbing, get better at cooking, go camping, learn to art, go do one of those warrior runs, learn to surf etc. Yeah, all of those things would be better with a good friend or a SO, but they dont help as much as you'd think. You either like the thing or you don't.

And just in the case of being attractive to people: being active and passionate about shit, its really hot man. So reverse it man. Dont wait for a gf to take you places and make you do fun shit. Do that shit yourself and you'll find gfs are a lot easier to find.

>>39025920
my only hobbies are skydiving, motorcycles and guns

it's impossible to meet a girl with shared interests, I guess hiking but all the normies say that and consider walking 30mins on a paved trail "hiking"

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>I've been raped so i'm not a virgin.

I'm a guy and my rapist was male also, This happened when I was in Grade School.

>i am a thousandaire
mostly hard work

>>39021744
8 days ago I turned on Tinder for the first time.

I now have two sub sluts who wear my collar and are okay with me fucking them on alternate days.

Even though I look like a normie I have anxiety and generally put on a facade to appear normal to the point I don't know who the real me is anymore.

>>39021744
>when walking trough someone i think smell bad i hold my breath
eh...

>>39023617
Implying you can just "leave".

You stupid sheltered fuck.

>>39022298
we are still watching over you.

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>>39023617
>Anti-spic
>Telling illegals to get a job

>>39025920
My mental illness prevents me from doing stuff alone and even if I forced myself to go alone it's not going to be a enjoyable experience unless someone basically holds my hand.

>>39021744
I please 100 beautiful women 3 times a day

I please 100 beautiful women 3 times a day oriiiginnnnnnallll

>>39026984
I hate this site sometimes orgy

I am a thin, attractive woman.

>>39027038
Post kneecaps as a proof.

>>39027038
kek that was surprisingly original

>>39022894
How was she? What was she there for?

>>39021744
Every girl I've dated asked me out and I've mutually masturbated with a lot of females.

>>39027288
Why only mutual masturbation?

>>39023130
>not saying who it was

>>39023624
Where did you live at the time?

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I get a hard one when my gf goes topless

>>39027425
She goes topless in public?

>>39026143
I technically got molested by a black girl in high school. Still a virgin though

>>39027492
On holiday always

>>39027637
She doesn't get arrested or anything? She just pulls her tits out in the middle of the street or beach?

>>39025497
That is too cute! I'm not gay (I promise), but please greentext some stories or something, anon

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I have chad like good looks.

I was walking down the street in a tank top and cargo shorts last summer and a bus load of 12 year old girls lost their shit like it was a justin beiber concert when they went past me.

One of the best memories I have,

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>>39027668
Its pretty normal on european beaches

I've made my own particle theory and have debunked einstein.

I earned FIFA 18 beta because I had played over 1040 hours

>>39027713
I am gay and second this

>>39021744
>do jackshit all day everday
>still make 3 times more than the annual average of an advanced degree holder
>will technically be unemployable for the same reason a longterm NEET is

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>>39022692
Tell me, does the sentence "Charlie Takes the Field" mean anything to you?"

I found a flaw in a Bitcoin casino game and made off with around $20000.

The few people I tried to tell did not believe me and think I have a gambling addiction. My psychologist does not believe me either.

I'm really intelligent, but it's come to nothing because of an anxiety/depression/ocd combo I've had since I was a kid.

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FaSum pysop using desu nig women...

>reading through this thread to see if anyonr admitted to anything juicy like murder or rape

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>>39021744
Dick surgery.

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>>39021744
>won best butt award in high school
>won against both men and women

>>39021744

I could have become a model, but it would require my parents to contract a photographer, wich costed a lot.

I have had a 111-114 sexual partners.
I also was almost arrested literally balls deep in a 15yr old

>>39021744

>Lily Allen sung a song for me.

Well, part of it at least. Long story short, she was having a lousy concert due to apathetic crowd who barely knew who she was (this was around 2007) and I was super drunk, so I was the only guy in the crowd to visibly enjoy myself. She acknowledged me, walked through the stage to where I was and was singing looking at me for what seemed like good two minutes.

>>39029344
post it, lad.
you can't tease us like that

>>39029690
Fuck off, homo.
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.

>>39021744
>I've fucked around 100 women (could be a lot more, stopped counting at 75 and that was like 7 tears ago).
>I was the fastest guy in my whole county (state to you Americans) at ages 14 - 16 and held a record for triple jump that possibly still stands, I don't know, it was fucking years ago... but I broke the previous record by a meter and it's hard to believe someone could beat it since I broke the previous record by so much.

Yeah, I used to be a "Chad".

>>39029836
At least post a pic of the award. Censor pics of school logo and name and shit.Also I am calling bullshit since what type of nigger jew school does an ass award

I'm a fembot and usually want sex way more often than my boyfriend does.

Also, when I was 13, I had a gf and sucked her nipples.

>>39021744
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyDcc9UxTEo

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>>39029950
Of course it isn't an official award, anon.
It was made by the committee who organized the pre-graduation parties.

>be at pre-grad party
>chilling at the pool
>committee starts naming people for "biggest whore", "womanizer", "best bod", etc.
>accept in my mind that I won't be called because it's a popularity contest
>suddenly "Anon for best butt"
>go to the stage not knowing what face to make
>pick ribbon with "The Pampers" written on it
>slap my butt cheek on stage, have a laugh and walk back to the pool

I'm a fairly attractive woman with an insanely high sex drive and was so disturbed by my fetishes that I underwent months of chemical castration. It was pro bono in part because the doctors wanted to make sure I got help and in part because it's stupidly uncommon for a young woman to need it. Of course, it didn't work. Before, during and after the treatment I was in group therapy with rapists, pedophiles, exhibitionists and any other kind of sex offender you could think of.

>>39021944
What strains do you reccomend?

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>>39021744
Im a rapist
Heres my old piss bottles

>>39030315
Me too!
But little boys are just too hot i cant help it.
Im going to hell.

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I'm immortaI.

>>39030628
Weed is weed for the most part, I dig indica better than sativas for pain. If you just want to get high, there are some good hybrid strains, but the differences between two strains of well cared for, top-shelf weed are too subtle to mention. I'm not a connoisseur.

>>39030696
You can keep your little boys, my soul is lost to the dead. I hope it worked for you or that you at least have the self control not to hurt anyone.

>>39021744
I have autism
It is not the so called autism that it is thrown around here

nobody believes me about the rape.

>>39030791
Lost to the dead?
That sounds extreme, whats wrong anon?

>>39027846
but sports games are boring af

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>>39021744
I broke the AI cleverbot.
MadChen.

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>>39030659
What is with the piss bottles? My fucking ex-roommate did this shit. Didn't know till he fucking left.

>>39021744
The actor who played Carl Winslow from Family Matters held me in his arms back in the 90s.

>>39021744
If you're a millionaire why are you posting pedo nigger pics in /r9k/?

>>39030925
Being solely attracted to corpses with an extremely high sex drive is a nightmare anon. I'm sure you can understand my frustration.

>>39031378
Why dont you work at a morgue?

>>39031437
I don't want to violate anyone or break the law, I want to control it. Working at a morgue would ruin me.

I died when I was a young child and since then I can see and communicate with spirits

>>39031535
Anon just give in, let that hot feeling in your chest out and tingle through all your limbs.
You will feel better!
I know i do.

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>>39031558
>tfw we live in a world where anyone can legally create a life and ruin it but I can't make love to someone who's life has already ended, even if it's consensual, without having my reputation ruined forever at the bare minimum

>>39021744
I fought for the national army of my country in the war when I was 12. We won and I am proud. Don't believe the news lies, most of us loved that shit and we are not that fucked up

>>39030720
Can I be immortal plz

>>39031681
This is the kind of shit i can get on board with. There is no way every child soldier is traumatized.

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>>39021744
I'm an alien.
>inb4 ayy lmao
ayy lmao

>>39030772
thanks for reminding me about weed

>>39021744
im actually not conceited, i stand on one leg cause i have trouble balancing,

I have multiple personalities, and one of them is a sociopath I think

This thread is just a lowkey normie exposure thread.
This is the type of shit you would see on kikebook

>>39032630
>actual autists
>child molestation
>cartels
>pedophiles and necrophiles
>openly admitting to being rejected by hundreds of women
>tulpas

I haven't ever been on facebook so I wouldn't really know, but you've got to be kidding me.

>>39032360
Wahahaahahhahahaha anon! Holy fuck anon! Smoke weed every day you ninny! You fucking ninny muggins! lol

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>>39021744
I got played $50 to play the saxophone for a private function at pic related's home

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My great grandfather was an artist who worked with Dali, Picasso, Man Ray etc... he has paintings in museums all around France. I may be a millionaire when i inherit money from my grandfather.

When I was 10 my 16 year old female babysitter (that was also my neighbor) put her hands down my pants and touched my penis, and kissed me on the lips. She is now a recovering herion heroin addict.

>>39032909
half the thread is normos bragging about how smart and attractive they are.

This /r9k/ alright

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>>39030696
>>39030315
>fairly attractive women
>high sex drive
>on /r9k/
good one anons you nearly convinced me you weren't LARPers

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>>39033378
funny enough I feel like /r9k/ is the most normie board on 4chins specifically because so many normies have flooded here to lurk and watch the zoo of freaks, robots, and autists