How the actual fuck do guys get girlfriends? I'm turning

>been lifting for 7 years
Post body

>>38976508
Why is it so fucking hard to socialize with people? I am a person, right? Then why the fuck can't I figure out how to get a girl to like me?

I share your pain OP. I'm fucked like you. 27 right now, never kissed or even hugged or held hands with a girl. I'm not ugly (average or slightly below average looks), I'm /fit/, I have a good paying job, I have a degree, and I have a house of my own now. I can't make a friend though. I can't have a gf though.

I'm doomed to die alone.

through mutual friends is the best way

>>38976508
The black pill is if you're below a 7/10 you don't exist to women no matter what you do.

You can have a six pack but nothing will change if you're still ugly/average.

Women aren't going to settle for anything less anon, because they don't have to.

Put yourself in situations where you will talk to girls. Go to school, join a meetup/club online, or just try online dating. Make friends you don't intend to fuck, they will introduce you to their friends. Go to parties. This shit isn't that hard guys.

>>38976537
Not posting pics on here.

>>38976541
Well you're way ahead of me, I don't even have a degree, nor my own house.

>>38976542
I have no friends. Even if I imagine myself in social group, I still don't understand what I'm supposed to do with a female besides have sex with them. What happens with the other 99% of the time?

>>38976566
They are people anon. You talk/do stuff with them. Like a friend that you also bang.

>>38976560
Unless they are ugly themselfes why would they? Ugly guys get ugly girls, thats how it is.

>>38976582
Not him, but what stuff exactly?

I play games with my male friends. But girls don't play games.

>>38976631
Watch a movie, travel, eat, anything really. I play some video-games with my girlfriend but not the same ones as with my friends. I think most girls like playing casual games like mario or something if they enjoy spending time with you

>>38976508
The vast majority of people find they gf through mutual friends/similar hobbies or workplace.

>>38976680
>Watch a movie
That's something you don't do together, you just happen to be in the same room watching the same movie. There's no interaction between you two.
>Travel
Look at you mr. rich guy
>eat
Same thing as watching a movie. It mostly comes down to talking to eachother.

How the hell do you find things to talk about for days, weeks, months, years?
Is this why most normies are so obsessed about things that don't matter?
Like which brand of butter tastes the best or something.

>>38976631
>I play games with my male friends
Fuck off, underage bait

>>38976793
I'm 25 anon. The age of people i play with range from 16 to well over 30.

Guess who i hate the most. That's right. Most people under 20.
Because when you play with underage teenagers, they get super invested, serious, start insulting you, etc.

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>>38976560
ain't that the depressing truth

just talk to women about their day and hobbies and shit, they love talking about stupid inconsequential things. ask them to hang out every so often, don't be clingy messaging them. let them talk about themselves.

Pretty much just fucking random OP, you can't chose who you fall in love with
>be me
>charismatic manipulator and social butterfly
>currently engaged to shyest person I've ever met
>the kind of shy that can't talk on the phone unless required and couldn't speak for 5 minutes after I first kissed her
It took me a long time to appreciate everything about her but now that I've known her for about 4 years I wouldn't trade her for anything.
I'm her only friend though, which is okay.

>>38976564
How the fuck do I make friends?
99.9 percent of people are retarded nor.ie shits who like stuff like the emoji movie, chart music and getting their dick sucked at the club. That's 99.9 percent of guys and literally all females apart from one or two per city / country that dress up all emo and shit to try and attract Chad by looking unique.

I have nothing in common with anyone and refuse to have anything to do with those stupid worthless scum that we know as normies.

You've got the liftgays, OP.
It's common among those who lift to realize that being a man makes you so intrinsically unrelated to the female world that you should only be appreciating, socializing, and fucking with men.
It's the natural state of any man who acquires enough clarity.

>>38977024
>99.9 percent of people are retarded nor.ie shits who like stuff like the emoji movie, chart music and getting their dick sucked at the club. That's 99.9 percent of guys and literally all females apart from one or two per city / country that dress up all emo and shit to try and attract Chad by looking unique.
oh man you really need to leave this board for a while not that it would matter because you're too old to be making new friends lol

>>38977052
I am 21
I do leave the house
I am correct and you are a triggered normie who is afraid of truth bombs

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>>38976560
Blackpill nuke incoming black pill nuke incoming
This how all women are

>>38977089
You're a dumbass tripfag consider suicide

>>38977024
know what sucks? that weird gray realm where you get along and have similar interests, but there's no chemistry. I got sucked into kickball one year (waste of money and time) and I met a dude there that I'm more likely to help him move a couch than go get a beer with him.

With women it's largely the same, but the interests are usually more divergent and there's the whole physical attracting thing

I mean, where/how do you even meet girls?
I don't have any hobbies that don't involve sitting at home, because I don't enjoy anything else, how do I even meet girls who are the same, or at least accepting of this?
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>38977155
use tinder then

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>>38977178
>>38977155

Don't use tinder this what the women are like

>>38977155
Most people meet at work/at school/through friends/at frequent locations.
Or Interpals

>>38977178
where I'm from theres 2 bots for every real person on tinder...
And I'd like to meet someone who isn't a whore...
Have never met a girl off of a dating app who
1. hasn't had 15+ dicks in her
2. wanted to go for a genuine ltr
3. approved of my lifestyle

>>38977199
OH FOR FUCKD SAKES I FORFOT TO POST THE JEWING LINK
>>38977117
That, THAT RIGHT THERE

Fuck me, how do you make friends period?
>talk to people at church, they get bored
>talk to people on /r9k/, they get bored or even think I'm underaged
>talk to family, they talk about themselves for hours straight

>>38976726

Go to the zoo

get ice cream at the park

>>38977211
jesus shut the fuck up tripfag

>>38977202
>work
there's literally not one in the 300 people company I work at that's remotely interesting...
either not my age, ugly as all hell or lesbian

>friends
my friends are all either loosers like me or I don't actually ever meet any
not that i'd have many friends lol

>frequent locations
new people don't join me at home sadly

>>38977117
You seem to be from /r/Incels

This black pill explosion resulted me in actually making an account, and then making a post on your subreddit, which got immediately caught in the filter.
>pending mod approval
So i forgot about it, because i ain't dealing with that shit, and came back here.
At least here on r9k there's no filter, no post removals, and its completely anonymous.

Reddit. Not even once.

So since I, pretty much, cannot answer your question clearly, I'll tell you what works for me in order to share some perspective.

I tried really hard, I tried long distance online relationships, I tried dating a longtime friend who never evem had any romantic interest for me, I had a beta crush on a coworker for a year and a half of fucking around for nothing, I texted a girl two states over for a month, got there and crumbled under the pressure so much that I cried in front of her, I have endured shame the likes of which most robots could not even understand and I still got laid and legit dated a girl for months(She ended up using me, so it's not exactly a success story) because I kept trying different things and try to figure out what didn't work to fix it. I think the main difference between my approach and that of robots despite the fact that I'm generally a desperate beta is that I am not afraid to get hurt and trust people, I'm not afraid of shame and I'm not afraid to admit my flaws and face myself in the mirror, so through all the cringe, I changed and improved. I faced my desperation and faced my fears.

Here's what I learned: Let go. Let go of your desperate desire for a gf, let go of your millions of questions, take a step back, distance yourself and take things easier. You want to talk to girls and meet them? Get Tinder, get badoo or whatever dating/fuck app that suits you best and talk to them without any expectations, as if you were "trolling". No mask, no fear, no other desire than "I want to meet girls" and take every situation as it comes. If she's not interested, don't waste time, take NOTHING personal and brush off insults. Take it as if you were trolling omegle, but be honest with who you are to yourself and others. I cannot guarantee success, but detachment is the best way to, not only improve your chances, but also protect yourself from harm. If you guve 0 fucks, nobody can harm you.

Also, the basics. Take care of your appearance etc.

>>38977477
shittiest advice I've ever seen.

>>38977562

Ok, give better one.

>>38977291
Do you mind being a fucking cyber bullying?
I have done nothing to hurt you I am a proud MGTOW incel fuck off

>>38977024

You think too highly of yourself and too little of others. Almost in an hedonistic way. You forbid yourself from relating to others and you think you're too special of a little snowflake for others to be deserving of your friendship, but ask yourself. How many people have you taken the time to actually discuss deeply with? Have you ever took the time to listen to anyone or are you just so selfishly focused on yourself that no matter who you meet, you'll.deem them "normie trash"?

Understand this much: Norhing makes you better, nothing makes you more special than others and as long as you're stuck on this little "proud MGTOW" attitude where you see yourself as the holder of some higher truth. You will never make any true friends. At best you'll befriend other cowards like you to feed each other's fear of the unknown, people who will never actually challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and you will remain exactly as you are: Craving which you fail to understand, envious of those you hate.

For as long as you are not willing to admit that you can be wrong, that you are afraid, that you need to adapt to others, you will be alone in your pope bubble. Nothing can harm you, but you are doomed to observe others living their lives, unable to jnteract or partake in any way.

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stage 1 is making threads about this.

the final stage is you can't even post or talk about it anymore, the final stage is you don't even have words anymore.
you just keep living life, that's it. there's nothing else to you can do.

the sweet release of giving up.

>>38978107
Funniest shit I've read all week.
>she ended up using me so...
WEEEEEEW

>>38978226

What's funny is that you seem to think the same couldn't happen to you.

>>38977006
>that
That`s exaclty my life

>>38978107
Normie Shill fuck off I don't want to to associate with pricks like you.
Normies aren't even self aware or sentiment so I can't converse with them all they would do is talk about da kluuuuub and Netflix and Rick and Morty or some other faggy normie shit

>>38976564
>Go to parties
Thanks! Never thought of that! Its almost as if im not a 15 year old from american pie

>>38976508
Alright OP. Let a guy who lost his V card at 26 years old and only had 1 girlfriend for a grand total of 2 months tell you how it's done.

>What do I even talk to a female about?
When it comes to first conversations there's a short answer: Her.
Does she have any hobbies besides trying to look more interesting than her friends?
Most women love animals. Ask her if she has a pet. Ask about the pet. Ask her if she'd like a pet. Ask her what pets she would like to have.
What movies does she like? What books does she read? Plans for the weekend? Education? Work?
Try to find a hook, no matter how small, that you can latch yourself onto. A common ground. Does she have a pet dog? Do you? Great! Talk about your dogs. Joke about them. Make her laugh.

It doesn't matter if it's boring shit. You don't care about her fucking dog, you're just seeing what kind of person she is. When she asks about your dog she's doing the same damn thing.

Can't find anything to latch on to? Is she not giving you any material to talk about? Is she looking around, trying to find an excuse to walk away? Are you doing the same? Too bad, better luck next time.

Did you find some common ground? Did you make her smile? Neato. Don't forget to ask her if she'd like to see you again next week. Get her number if you haven't already.

Next time you see her, ask her what she's been up to. Ask her how her dog is doing. How is work going? Anything interesting happen? This time you're trying to gauge how active she is. She'll do the same probably. Try to do something mildly interesting that week. Go outside for a bit. Buy new clothes. Anything. Eventually ask her what she thought about last week. Did she like your company? Alrighty.

Now, don't go talking to her every goddamn day, but slowly start talking to her more and more on facebook/whatsapp/whatever. Got anything planned for the weekend? Mundane shit. Get used to her company and things will eventually get easier.

>>38976566

> "been lifting for 7 years"

pics or gtfo

I didn't get a girlfriend through fucking school, the easiest time of your life to find one. In college now, was in the dorm for a year, didn't get a single girl. I am preparing for a life of loneliness and bachelorhood.

>>38978853
This is all me. Problem is every girl i talk to "just wants to be friends" i blame my parents for allowing my older sister to always dominate me which gave me "beta vibe"

>>38978853
This is pretty sound advice. Just try and show signs of interest here and there, otherwise you'll end up as a friend.
The obvious stuff, slight teasing and I mean slight, occasional light touching (hands, arms, shoulders), the occasional flirtatious comment etc.

>>38976508
you don't. and if you try, you are labeled a nice guy and mocked on reddit on /niceguys, /cringe. /funny. /imverysmart

>>38976508
>Who/where/how/why?
This one is a toughy. You don't really go out and "just meet a girl", the opportunity just sort of presents itself if you're in the right place at the right time. Hint: that place is not your mom's basement.

There's always Tinder. Plus side is you get to speak to her 1-on-1. Downside is that you can't read her body language (and vice versa). Try to get the conversation away from the Tinder chat as fast as possible. Get her number at least. If she's willing to give you her number, she'll probably agree to a date.

Got any friends? Do your friends have friends? Next time your friend goes to a social gathering, ask if it's alright for you to tag along. Try to worm your way into other circles. Knowing more people increases your chances of finding a girl worth talking to. Once you find that girl, invite her and other friends to a gathering of your own. Don't be too transparent. Just buy drinks and snacks and you're set.

If you have the right kind of friends, tell them what you have in mind. Any luck, they'll help you out in whatever way they can. That's how I met my ex.

Going to a bar is also a possibility, but a lot more difficult, because it's all crowded and shit. Don't.

Any of you tried online dating? Its a lot easier, no question about what you're wanting to from it and easier to break the ice over messages than in person.

>>38979134
I made a fake roastie account on POF, the messages I get from dudes are downright depressing (dozens a day too)

>>38979212
Anyone tried online dating as... themselves?

Honestly think its the solution to most of you guys problems here

>>38979283
Yeah I did, got no matches even from below average girls, then uninstalled the app
>just improve yourself bro

>>38979283
yeah i did. i had a lot of dead end conversations. you either talk to some girl over the course of days, slowly, waiting for her response, which will be one liners with no questions.
or you talk to a girl a lot, but she just talks about herself and never asks a single thing about you whatsoever.

a lot of them were also me sending troll messages then them responding with the fury and wrath of 5,000 scorned virgins, usually a paragraph.

if you want to encounter people who are 100x more jaded than robots, who are actually over-stressed from human interaction, online dating is your best bet.
online dating women act like they don't even want a date, they act like they're just there to fill a quota because half of them half profiles that are just shitting on you as you read them with 5,000 prerequisites that you need to meet.

>>38976537
Posting pics of yourself is against the rules and mods might also ban you if you ask for pics

>>38979361
>half of them half profiles that are just shitting on you as you read them with 5,000 prerequisites that you need to meet.

I don't blame some of them it's an absolute snake pit with some of the guys on these sites. Make a fake girl's profile and you'll see the disparity is real.

>>38979415
i don't blame them either, that's why i stopped using it.
let them wallow in that filth. online dating will make you realize that getting out there is the only way. you're better off begging a female friend to help you, if you can make one of them. even that is hard as hell because they don't trust anyone.

>>38976893
>let them talk about themselves.

Anyone can do that though. How do you go from being someone that asks about their life AND they want to fuck you?

>>38977024

How enlightened are you? Coding a new facebook?

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>>38976508
Personally anon? I have to admit that I'm at least above average in looks, so that gets me over the initial attraction hurdle with some women. But even then, in the past I was very toxic and bitter because I felt unwanted, which became a cycle of hating myself and others. I had to realize, even if I was virgin the rest of my (which I wasn't after 16) and alone, that I wouldn't die. I had to let go of all the preconceived notions I had of "doing X means that I deserve Y".
Realizing that there is no formula to talking to women, and that it's more like jazz, is the best thing you can do. You can't play jazz through the lens of classical, which a lot of robots are guilty of metaphorically speaking.

>>38979134

You have to be 9/10 Chad

do tinder and online dating (plenty of fish, okcupid, etc.)

they won't necessarily be high quality but the only way to get high quality girls at your age is to be part of a high quality social ecosystem. i.e.e you need impressive friends to be able to iintroduce you to their impressive female friends.

>>38976508
>how do I talk to females
2 pieces of advice:
first, get some male friend who has female friends or whatever, include them in your social circles indirectly since you can't do it directly. Then in that environment you will be able to talk to them.
second, your brain learns by error. Took 6 years for me to go from "shaking in presence of a female" to basically a Chad (yeah I had potential in me but still worth a try don't you think? You can always suicide later). So my advice is to just show up say hi and force yourself to try and have a convo going. Of course the first times are going to be embarrassing as fuck but you'll learn from that! Oh and another thing: 1 don't do it in your hometown, go on a trip or something so people won't label you and 2 don't do it 10000000 times, contrary to what normies say it's not a "numbers game" its about doing something and forcing your brain to build up resistance to anxiety + thinking about what failed and making a few changes to your strategy then trying again. You won't need many times and if you are like me you won't be able to because of fucking anxiety. As I already told you, 6 fucking years anon, 6 years of absolute suffering and fear because everytime i fucked up i had to wait months before i had courage again.

>>38979655
>You can always suicide later
If you don't take this literally, it's actually pretty good advice.

>>38976541
What type of well paying job do you have?

>>38976508
They guys that get girls don't talk to them they just play with them its werid

It requires social familiarity. This is what's meant by join a club / join social activities / find hobbies. This breeds social bond, emotional familiarity, and trust between you and her. This boosts her opinion of you and lowers your bar for entry. People are strongly tribal creatures. It doesn't matter if you lifted yourself to chad tier looks because the cold approach is near impossible unless you are the top 0.1% of what she considers a contender. It's near impossible to be accepted into her circle this way. To do this you need to be her literal perfect man that doesn't exist. Familiarity lowers this bar but it requires significant time and emotional investment on your part. This what normies don't understand because strong social circles are normal and ever present part of life so they don't know what it's like to have lived without this concept.

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>>38976631
Yes they do . Pic related. I'm sitting in bed here and she's playing fallout . Chicks play games

I don't get how I could get a girlfriend while I live with my mom. I mean what would I say? "Hey wanna come back to my mom's place?" But I can't move out because she's old and disabled and I gotta take care of her. So I gotta wait until she dies before I can get a gf.

>>38980006
That would actually get you brownie points for none whore type girls . Just ask them to come to your place , but your mother stays with you because you're taking care of her . Bitch will be all "d'aaaawww anon that's so sweet and mature of you! "

>>38980054
I feel like her gagging up blood and leaking, swollen, diabetic legs might ruin the mood.

>>38980084
Then you probably shouldn't fuck in your mother's room . Plus most girls in theirearly / mid twenty have an apparent so you could go there

>>38980139
>Then you probably shouldn't fuck in your mother's room .
Then who will give me pointers?

>>38976508
Ok, so i am only 16 and i had the same problem but I think i am decent looking or above average. I got myself a girlfriend because i started doing voluntary work and she was there everyday. We have been meeting everyday so i had a reason to invite her somewhere and everything work out. My advice would be to start going to places where you can meet someone with same hobbies/passions/interests so you would have a base for starting a conversation

>>38979987
>tfw no gamer gf
If you're a gamer, it's your duty to teach your gf to play games even if she's not familiar with them when you meet.

>>38980172
human beings are pure filth. fuck base of conversation. fuck it all.

there's no recovering from this hate. gotta hide it.

>>38976508
The only true answer to this question in social skills. All the other things that people talk about like lifting, being rich, dressing well, and cold approaching all assume you have basic social skills.

>>38979655
I don't know how to do this. All my male friends are losers too and none of my female friends have any female friends.