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Guys, I'm literally shaking right now. And no, not like the Tumblrina girls; why are women allowed to do shit like this?!
>26 yo NEET
>KHHV
>Haven't held a job in 5 years
>Got GED a long time ago
>Leech off parents who look at me with shame when I collect NEETbux for BPD and autism
>Basically the scum of the Earth that frequents /r9k/
So here's what happens:
>Dad dies
>Claim inheritance
>Look at Mommy
>The look of disgust and anger on her face makes me feel like I've never felt before
>Decide to try to salvage my own life to make her proud
>Get /fit/ & /fa/ for a few months
>Want to quit all the time, but I push through the tears
>Go to community college to try and take control of my future (all this faggy shit, just bare with me)
>Meet a girl during economics who actually takes an interest in me
>Laugh at my jokes, playful touching
>Long story short, we hit it off
>After our 2nd date, invite her back to my place
>She agrees
>Mommy is knocked out on the couch with some good narcotics
>Go up to my room
>I take off her clothes
>She's receptive
>She takes off my pants
>Fullmast.jpg
>She starts laughing uncontrollably
>What are you, anon? 5"x4.5"?!?! YOU HAVE A GERBER DICK!
>She's right, I can't even call myself a man
Mommy got up to see what the laughing was about. She joined in. The girl ran out of my house, screaming about how 5"x4.5" can never even come close to pleasuring a woman.
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>>38957662
You know this is fake because a female was capable of telling dimensions by eye. Tell a bitch you have a 7" dick and she'll accept it without batting an eye. They just can't tell.
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>>38957722
It's not fake. Some women can just tell. I had a gf who, before she had sex with anyone, took a tape measure out of her purse to check.
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>>38957662
Haha you have a Gerber dick
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>>38957794
Please, I cannot be called a man, please don't make it worse.
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>>38957786
>some women can just tell
>I had a gf who, before she had sex with anyone, took a tape measure out of her purse to check.
So she couldn't tell, but used a tape measure?
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Holy shit great bait and switch with an overall bait.
Laughing unclntrollably, this post is 5"/4.5"
Nice bait.
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Consider suicide, anon
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>>38958427
I showed her a bunch of pictures of dicks. She was able to guess 18/20 of them within .5"
>>
here is how it really went;
>Dad dies
>Claim inheritance of GBP
>Look at Mommy
>The look of disgust and anger on her face makes me feel like I've never felt before
>Decide to try to JUST my own life to make her proud
>Get /pol/ & /r9k/ for a few months
>Want to quit all the time, but I push through the memes
>Go to therapist to try and get hrt pills (all this faggy shit, just bare with me)
>Meet a tranny during a /lgbt/ raid who actually takes an interest in me
>Laugh at my memes, playful funposting
>Long story short, we hit it off
>After our 200th date, she invites me to her place
>driving to location
>seems kindof off being the only house with lights on
>i think i see something move in the bush. must be a cat or something.
>park car in driveway
>enter house
>house is empty
>she yells that she is just drying off from a shower and will be out in a sec
>i wait and look around
>something seems off
>still waiting 5minutes later
>a man comes out of a corner
>says he is chris hanson with dateline
>he has some papers and wants me to take a seat
>i start talking fast about how i didnu nuffin and shaking
>he starts reading papers
>i piss my pants and want to leave
>he says i can go
>open the door
>police get me on the floor
>i am now a dinosaur
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>>38959276
That meme is before your time. You didn't use it correctly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYKupOsaJmk
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>>38959276
What a nice attempt at meme revivals, anon.
Thread posts: 12
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