"Your mother and I have been wondering when you're

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l don't need this feel

I'm a middle sibling. Forgotten. Discarded. My parents would never give me a positive pep talk.

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>>38942315
>>38942348

"Why don't you introduce yourself to that nice girl who works at the bookstore, Billy? That's how you meet people. It's a part of growing up. And who knows? She might be that special someone with whom you raise a family, which is important because it ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old."

>>38942176
OK OK I'LL SHAKE THE HAND, JUST DON'T SHIP ME BACK TO GANZHOU

>>38942176
I'm not fit to have children, dad.

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>>38942789
"The time for handshaking has passed, Champ. It's best if you head out to Guangzhou so you can live a normal life and meet new people. Who knows? One of them might be that special someone with whom you'll have a bunch of kids. Turn that frown upside down, Champ. Having kids is a part of growing up, and it ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old and grey."

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>>38942808
"Don't be ridiculous, Champ. Women want someone who'll provide for them, which means they'll practically be chasing you when you get a job, Champ. And the best way to get one is to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Champ, it's as simple as that. You'll practically have to fend off the ladies once you get your first paycheck."

>>38942176
Girls who want to raise a family are dead, gramps. They're all whores these days.

>tfw actually explained this to my grandparents and they still refuse to believe it

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>>38942957
"It's all about finding the right girl to settle down with, Billy. And it's as simple as standing up straight, looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner."

>>38943012
What part of "no such girl exists" don't you understand?

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>>38943071
"Billy, it's all about getting outta that thick shell of yours. That's how you meet people. You'll never find out if she's that special someone until you make the first move."

>>38943117
I can damn well tell she's not that special someone when she has absurdly little clothes on

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>>38943071
u need 2 b more confident younger bro-anon.

>>38942902
No, I mean I'm not the type of person who should reproduce, and I definitely shouldn't be raising children.

>>38942176
its too late im a tranny i nuked my body and i will never be able to have children with my gf

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>>38943237
"Don't sell yourself short, Champ. Having kids is a part of being an adult. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and makes you more mature and responsible. Most importantly, it passes on the family genes and ensures that someone will be there to take care of you when you're old. When you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this same pep-talk. But it all starts with finding a nice girl to settle down with, and you can do that by standing up straight, looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner."

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>>38942176
"Finding a girl is easy, Champ. You just need to walk into her office at work, march up to her desk, look her dead in the eye and give her a strong hand shake."

"Hand her a bouquet of roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If I remember correctly it only costs a nickle. You make $12/hr as a manager at the local burger joint. Back in my day that would have paid two years of college tuition. You're lucky to be able to go to college, anon."

"Back then I didn't have that opportunity. Instead I started working at the old canned food plant down the street from my house at the age of 16. I was the quality control engineer, which meant I inspected every canned food right off the line. If I could roll the can on it's side three feet, then it went on to get packed. If it didn't roll, that meant it had a dent in it. I would either have to rework it with a hammer and dent it back into tolerance just enough that it could roll 1ft on it's side. Sometimes I'd see a square can."

"Yep, 30 years and I retired with a gold rolex and a $5 million pension. Not bad for someone that didn't go to college! I expect more from you, Mister!"

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>>38943251
It's electroshock therapy, then.

>>38942348
>middle sibling
How it look for you anon? For me it's two older brothers and two younger brothers.

>>38943251
was it worth not being able to have kids?

>>38943309
My genes shouldn't be passed on, pop. Also, I am incapable of raising children, dad

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>>38943467
"Champ, having kids is an important part of being a man. But how do you get there? You don't get there by pouting. You've gotta get outta your shell and starting to people. Who knows? One of them might be that special girl with whom you'll raise a family. I know this is all coming at from every direction now, but you'll thank me when you're having this discussion with your kids several decades down the road."

but i just cant motivate myself to care enough to change to get a girl

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>>38942176

"Champ, stop doing a handstand and calm down, your handshakes are getting weaker"

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>>38943645
"Don't be ridiculous, Champ: You just need to develop a backbone, get outta your shell, and talk to people -- like I did when I met your mother at the school dance. That was after I had thrown the game-winning touchdown against State with all those college scouts in attendance. The same rules apply here, Champ: All you need to do is walk up to that nice girl, look her in the eye, give her a firm handshake, and ask her out to dinner. You two will be dancing to the Charleston like it's nobody's business in no time, Champ."

>>38943827
But daaaaad! I want a husband!

>>38943333
>>38943309
>>38943117
>>38943012
>>38942902


thought this meme would never evolve past three sentences containing boiler plate and one damn fine firm handshake, but you people just did it, congrats

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>>38944020

Heh, heh, heh. I don't think so, Champ.

champposting is the truth that hurts

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>>38942176
>Your mother and I have been wondering when you're gonna settle down with a nice girl and give us grandchildren

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA

no

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>>38944481
"Champ, you'll never know until you get out of your shell and make the first move. I remember when I first saw your mother. That was on the set of American Bandstand, and I worked up the courage to introduce myself, look her in the eye, give her a firm handshake, and ask her out to dinner."

"One day, when you come across a nice girl and stare at her all googly-eyed and unsure of yourself, just remember those four simple steps, Champ. Who knows? She might be that special someone with whom you'll raise a family. And raising a family is important because it establishes your legacy and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old."

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Would Handshake dad having a big hippie brother fit into the meme well if he's a bee yurself type liberal Chad?

>babyboomer thinking raising a family is cheap like when he was young

Just die you fucking parasite

>>38944585
dad i'm gay

also I don't give a shit about my "legacy"

also I'll blow my brains out before I get that old

>>38944657
Dont think it would work if we posted them both together in the same threads but that definitely sounds like good lore for the Meme Cinematic Universe (MCU tm)

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>>38944718
"Champ, when you meet that nice girl, you won't be able to think about anything else other than spending the rest of your life raising a family with her. And raising a family is part of growing up, Champ -- you take on new responsibilities, become more mature, and feel accomplished. It's also important because it passes on our genes and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you get old."

>>38944924
and you believe this to be the indisputable truth for everyone?

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>>38945093
"It doesn't matter what I believe; what matters is that you will raise a family because it gives you new responsibilities, makes you more mature, and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you get old."

>>38945117
what if I find a girl and she's black and we end up cucking your genetic legacy

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>>38945203
"Champ, when you meet that nice girl with whom you'll keep the race whole and pure, you won't be able to think about anything else other than spending the rest of your life raising a family with her. And raising a family is part of growing up, Champ -- you take on new responsibilities, become more mature, and feel accomplished. It's also important because it passes on our genes and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you get old."

>>38942176
>Give us grandchildren

Adopt a teen mum if you want it so bad

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"Champ, your meme wont catch on unless you work hard for it. I believe in you, son. Its really not that complicated, buddy, you make your way into r/memes, look the moderator dead in the eye and give him a firm handshake. Youll have normies using this in no time, Champ."

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>>38946185
"Getting a meme to go mainstream is important because it leaves behind r9ks legacy and by extension, your mark on the world. It reminds you of your roots, who you were, who you want to be and who you truly are. You can do it, Champ.

>>38943117
please stop, this is just making me laugh now.