>37-year-old woman wants to come over for a date. What do?

You've got to DESTROY HER anon... SEXUALLY! Oh my goddddddddd anon! Holy fuck anon! Oh my goddddddddd stick it in there and UNF UNF UNF DE LA UNF UNF!

Let her come over ya fuckin puss
Probably original.

Just start screaming "GIVE ME MOMMIES MILKIES" as soon as she shows up

How old are you, nigga? Cook her some food and make sure to buy some liquor and red wine. Old bitches love red red wine

>>38921099
> Old bitches love red red wine
It goes to my head.

>>38921099
20, I can't cook worth shit.

>>38921220
Here's what you do. Run to store and grab some asparagus, tomatoes, 4 pieces of salmon, 3 beef boneless cutlets, gnorr seasoning from ethnic foods or seasoning aisle, black pepper, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, parsley, and basil, vegetable or virgin olive oil, a bag of big ass shrimp, bell peppers, fresh baked bread either cuban or something and pino red wine. Gonna need 2 or 3 pots/pans

>>38921962
Did she ask you to cook? Is she going there for dinner? She probably just wants to fuck. Better not look like a Spergo.

>>38920881
Al-fucking-right. Divorcees are the easiest women to get along with. Basically, she has already decided that she wants to fuck you, but don't let that stress you out. She knows what she likes, and it happens to be sensitive skeles. She also knows you're probably somewhat clueless and finds it appealing. As that other anon said, red wine would be a good choice. You don't have to cook, you can casually mention that you could order something if she feels like it but I don't think that'd be necessary. Pour a couple of glasses, be your nervous self, ask her some questions and have her take over the conversation. From experience, when an older woman invites herself over, she's gonna do most of the work.

>>38920881
OP DONT DO THIS
it will fuck you up and you will feel worse than before.
PLEASE READ
if you a a virgin, lose it to some chick you actually care about. Dont say itll never happen, cuz it will dude.
this older woman is going to fuck your world up and you are going to regret this for the rest of your life

I know from experience- dont do what i did

STAHP

>>38922014
>She probably just wants to fuck.

Work her up to it, but yeah she wants to fuck.

>>38922125
What if he actually cares about that woman?

>>38922169
shes 37 dude

>>38921962
>>38921220
Wash hands and begin seasoning with touching the raw foods.
Then you lay out your meat and fish when you get home on a cutting board. Give the salmon a quick sprinkle of gnorr to where the whole top surface has some gnorr but not a thick layer AT ALL. Sprinkle that shit nigga. The beef cutlets you trim the fat and the sprinkle more gnorr than on the fish but not too much. Put a helpful dowsing of ground black pepper on fish and meat to equal degrees. Italion seasoning only on the fish and garlic powder lightly sprinkled only on the beef cutlets. Also put a decent/small sized clump of butter on the beef cutlets. Basil on both meat and fish.

Make sure your hands are clean all throughout btw. Thought this went without saying but autism. Wash your hands again to be safe and rub the seasoning from the top of the meat and fish to the entirety. Once this is done wash hands again. Then put oil in frying pan and heat to 40% of the stove eye. Some hav numbers from 1 to 9 others have different. Once 3 to 5 min of oil heating happens, throw the fish in. Make sure oil covers pan to prevent sticking and fish cooks fast so just flip regularly. It's salmon so it'll be pink but you want crispy. Better overcooked than under. Women like well done. Cook only 2 at a time so you know what to do differently with the other 2 and have some fish rather than none of worse comes to worse.

Then comes the beef which is essentially same thing. Set bothe fish and meat on plate with paper towels on them when done. DO NOT CROSS CONTAMINATE BY PUTTING THEM NEAR RAW CUTTING BOARD JUICES.

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>>38922179
Great!
>>38922201
>Women like well done.
You know your shit.

Looks like OP is about to be ready for some good ol' fashioned /gfd+rr/!

>>38922201
Then clean the pan and put butter in it instead of oil. Chop the tomatoes while the butter melts and throw them in with asparagus. Sprinkle black pepper and itty bit of salt. Cook until asparagus is softish and tomatoes are nearly waterless and much darker color.

Use leftover melted butter after this to and put a hefty helping of garlic powder in it. Stir that shit till it dissolves. Cut up bread into chunks like on restaurant sizes and use back of spoon to lather one side of the cut inside of the bread loaf. Throw bread on aluminum foil in oven at lowest setting and just keep and eye on it till its a bit crunchy/flaky.

If you want throw rice in a pot with an equal height of water but it's not important. Plate the beef in center with fish to the right, bread at top optional rice wherever and the veggis touching the beef. If you don't cook and just order like another anon said just screencap for when necessary. Drink wine and fuck divorcees

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errr.... where do i find these hot milfs who like having sex with cute beta early 20 somethings (i.e. me)?

i hear a lot about them but am yet to encounter one :/

>>38922426
they dont look like that in real life

>>38922484

i don't care i am a desperate beta i dont have high standards

where are they

>>38922501
craigslist- make an ad
you will have one by the weekend.

>>38921962
You are crazy for telling a 20yo with no cooking experience to make a big feast for the first time on a date with a 37yo woman.

>>38922549

>checks what day of the week it is cos im a neet

w-well i guess i have nothing to lose

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>>38921021
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z52RMyGVYU

>>38922646
you will regret it i promise- worst decision of my life

>>38922770

elaborate please

i'm not a virgin if that makes any difference

i am so sexually traumatised and defeated from having really bad sex with my 21yo ex that i highly doubt it could make anything worse

>>38922873
lol. it can always get worse.
if you want to do it, im not going to stop you.
but think long and hard about what you are doing.

>>38922911

care to briefly explain the dire consequences of having sex with an older woman (compared to a younger one, we all already know women as a whole are cancer)?

cos atm i really cant think of jack shit and would genuinely appreciate your input

>>38922911
Pls explain. I also want to know why it would be so bad. Can't be worse for your state of mind than porn, surely.

>>38922977
>>38923398
she will be really condescending.
make you feel like shit during, will be disappointed afterwards. and yes she will let you know that.
they dont look so good when they are literally sticking their cigarette stained tongue down your throat.
roastie vagina, saggy tits, stretch marks, pubic hair, loose did i mention loose?
Oedipus complex is real.
stds are much higher because they been around the block innit?
and they are fucking mean.

>>38923931
>Oedipus complex is real.
Not all bad then.

>>38923968
go for it dude!

8^D

>>38923931
oh ya, and if they are looking for 18 year olds on craigslist to fuck, they are fucking weird. likely crazy or a closet pedophile

>tfw no young bf to wipe my ass when I'm 70.
any other fembots know this feel?

get ready to experience what ageing feels like. weirdest sensation will be feeling how soft and sad her tits will feel. and unless she exercises a lot, get ready to not take your nimbleness for granted ever again.

plus side, older girls are much less dramatic about strings free fuckin. i was 28 or so when i slept with someone who was about 40 and she said it was the hardest she'd ever come. and i barely did anything. just some ultra slow doggystyle that i was not into at all, having felt her super soft tits before and been weirded out a bit.

tldr fuck you

>>38923931
Thanks for the explanation. Hope the memories are not too painful anon. Wishing you find a girl your age.

>>38924295
i did- then she broke my heart

talking with a new one now-but she is about to move 300miles away in a month.

fuck life

>>38924317
OP here, had something similar happen to me.
Life sucks, its better to just accept that ASAP.

The only reason I even found this lady is because I put up an ad on not!craigslist. My face seems to attract a lot of older ladies and single moms, for some reason.

>>38924690
Older ladies call me handsome, even though I'm 5'5". How tall are you? Do you know if those ladies care about your height?

>>38925039
I'm about 5'11" in murican units, but I did not specify my height anywhere on my ad, nor is it in any way apparent from the pictures.