"Rise and shine, Champ! We're going around town to

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>"Ugh, what a terrible day it is. And I haven't even finished my coffee yet. If anyone comes in and tries to talk to me, I'm calling security."
>*sips coffee loudly*

>>38911203
Yes daddy. I'm sorry daddy. Please forgive me.

>>38911203
I'm up for the challenge dad I should've done this ages ago let's go find me employment and find a few good managers to give a hard firm handshake to I wanna hear the words you've got the job you Son a bitch

>>38911203
Dad I've got a job, will you please stay together with mom? Please don't leave us.

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>>38911219

"Uh, excuse me, s-sir. M-my name is Anon, and I-I was wwondering... if you were h-hiring..."

*extends hand nervously*

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>>38911245
Champ, we've been through this before: Mommy's not coming back.

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>>38911260
>"Who are you? Why are you in my office? There are no vacancies at this store, chump. I'm calling the cops! Security! SECURITY!"

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>>38911318
"Need help, boss man?"

Wanted
1 adult male
Must be quiet and reserved
Good at typing, have a decent udbertatabdig of English.
Be okay, with working alone,
Basically, you will transcribe some of my literature onto Google Drive for others to read.
Pay 8.00 GBP per hour, 8 hour shifts, 2 hour breaks, paid.
You will lalso be provided a quiet desk and a high end laptop.

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>>38911224
>>38911244

"That's the spirit, Champ! Now, remember: Head on in there and ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ. You've got this."

>>38911410
>udbertatabdig of English

>>38911470
What's not to udbertatab?

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What's up dudes - oh cool hangin' with dad, yeah? Just give me a sec to sip and I'll get you whatever you need bros.

>>38911503
I know, it's basic enrish

>>38911203
I bet your the same fucking faggot shit posting that goth faggot and the atheism shit every single day of your sad pathetic life.

Kill yourself you faggot mlp tier shit poster

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>>38911519
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame your problems on other people, or you can man up and get a job. And it's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Four simple steps, Champ! I didn't raise a quitter."

Dad, how do I improve my handshake?

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>>38911203
>O-o-ok dad
>on my way to speak to the manager now
>whoops
>ugh
>ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
>HELP ME DAD! *puff puff puff*

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>>38911553
Glad you asked, Champ:

Squat 5 x 5
Deadlift 5 x 5
Bench Press 5 x 5
Chin-Ups AMRAP

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>>38911331
This is a good variant of the coffee meme.

Working is for fucking losers.

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>>38911588
Dubs confirm. Lo, the comfy revolution is come!

>>38911519
Fuck you you stupid piece of shit this is one of the few POSITIVE threads out there

I start work tomorrow Dad, it's a part time job helping teenagers with their Uni choices.


I can't wait, I gave the UCAS COORD a firm handshake and she said I had great empathy.

Love you dad.

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>>38911614
*ewok celebratory music plays*

Great job, Champ.

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"Might as well stop here for breakfast, Champ. It'll help you clear your head for the rest of the day. Here's 20 bucks. Get us two Egg McMuffin meals. And while you're up there, you might as well ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Easy-peasy, Champ."

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My conversation with my dad minutes ago

>Champ, your mother and I think it's time you went outside and got a job. Get dressed and meet me in the car. I'm driving you to find work, and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot.
>i'm not sure, i'll think about it
>You've been spending too much time inside, so you might as well get out more, meet people, and make some money on your own. You can buy a new computer once you get your first paycheck.
>okay, i'll think about it and let you know

Looks like my family can't take it anymore

>>38911203
>holds onto underwear
N-now Father-San? But I just took a shower desu

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>>38912271
"Champ-chan, every journey begins with a single step -- and that's the one who'll you take when you walk into the store and ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want the job. It's as easy as that, Champ-chan."

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This champ-posting disturbs me like no other shitposting does, is it because it hits so close to home? I physically cringe and feel something hurting and twisting inside my stomach whenever I read these.

>>38912651
QUIT TELLING ME WHAT DO TO DAD YOU CAN"T CONTROL MY LIFE

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>>38912671
"Quitters never win, Champ. And winners never quit. Getting a job is as simple as walking in there, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. If that doesn't work, we'll try somewhere else. What've you got to lose?"

>>38911203
Why is there always this really super hot meme every 6 months that dies out?
Is there some sort of secret group that masterminds the next hot meme and then shill it so hard that everyone, even the normies on facebook, starts using it?

>>38912709
>He's not in the meme club

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"Champ, once you get a job, girls will practically be chasing you because they want someone who can provide for them. And getting a job is as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. You'll have no shortage of girls begging you to take them to dinner once you get your first paycheck."

>>38911410
My dream job right there

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>>38911203
I honestly wish i had a dad like that.

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"Champ, all you've gotta do is pull yourself up by the bootstraps, slap on some elbow grease, and knock on some doors. And all it takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Cowboy up, partner!"

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"When are you going to give your mother and I grandchildren, Champ? We think it's time you found a nice girl to settle down with. Whatdy'a mean you'd rather be with your "way-foo?" Having kids is important because it passes on the family name, makes you more responsible, gives you a heightened sense of accomplishment, and ensures that you'll have someone to take care of you when you're old. And it's as simple as talking to that nice girl, looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and inviting her out to dinner. That simple, Champ."

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>>38915576
>giving her a firm handshake

>>38911203
ironically these dad memes make me laugh and smile even though they could easily make me depressed. Theyre so weird. Thank god I'm not quite at that level anymore

>>38913804
>Had a dad like that
>Still too nervous and shy to actually land the job
>But he kept trying to help because he knew how bad I needed it
>Develop a crippling fear of disappointing him as a result
>Fast forward, I've landed a research position in one of the most prestigious schools on the planet
>Still feel like I might let him down

no you dn't

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>>38915576
>Gave her a handshake after our first date even though she obviously was going for the hug
>Said nothing, turned 360 degrees and walked away

this has happened with two different girls

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>>38916265
"Maybe you didn't shake hard enough, Champ. Remember: finding the right girl is as easy as standing up straight, looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner. If it doesn't work, you could always try again, Champ. What've you got to lose?"

>>38911203
The truth is if we had a dad who cared as much as this dad we might have had a chance and infiltrated normie society as a funny ugly guy.

Funnily enough I got my job by meeting the boss in a parking lot, going right up to him and shaking his hand, hired me on the spot and I've been working as a landscaper for two years now. I was a NEET for about 6 years prior to that but I had a good attitude and work ethic, mind you, this old school way of getting a job really only works with male dominated construction and labour work that doesn't give a shit about having multiple interviews, an immaculate resume, and meeting diversity quotas. Something to consider lads.

>>38912236
S-so no more Guangzhou?

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>>38916933
That's just in case things don't work, Champ. But they will. Gotta stay positive, Champ. And they will as long as you show up, speak with the manager, and give him a firm handshake.

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Might wanna apply here, too. Remember the basics.

my mom treated me like I was a lying asshole when I told her places make you apply online, they don't accept applications in person. And then she tried to get a new job. She had to jump through all the hoops she denied existing for years.

Never apologized, but that hurt look in her eyes when she told me her struggle was good enough for me.

>>38911553
Just go to the manager, look him straight in the eyes and give him a firm handshake, champ.

>>38911600
It could need a few more variations, dad is just repeating himself

>This person's imaginary dad cannot pronounce the word Four

But I found a job 2.5 months ago dad.

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>>38918430
>Imaginary dad is Dutch

>>38911203
Adding champ to my filters. Checkmate meme dad!

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"Great job applying to all those jobs today, Champ. I know how hard it must've been for you to step out of your comfort zone, so, as I promised, let's go for some Chick-Fil-A. Here's $30, Champ. Get us two large Sweet Teas and Grilled Chicken Sandwiches. We'll skip the tendies, Champ. I read somewhere that fried food is bad for the heart. Oh, and while you're up there, you might as well ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work here. Let's make the most efficient use of our time, Champ."

>>38918508
>Gives his lil champaroo a firm handshake

Attaboy

>>38918048
Same here, except that my mom still tried telling me to go in person after that failed to work for her.

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>>38918484

"Looking at those cartoon girls doesn't count, Champ. If I said it once, I've said it a million times. I'm driving you around town to look for a real job, and we're not turning around until someone hires you right there and then. It's as simple as walking into the place, speaking with the manager, looking him straight in the eyes, and giving him a firm handshake. Can't get any simpler than that, Champ."

It's okay Dad, we got a nice new home for you. Make due to give the doctor a firm handshake

>>38918048
>>38919069
Did your mom's ever land a new job?

Dada me want play video game

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GET A JOB
HANDSHAKE'S FUELIN JOB SEARCH

>>38919150
Why are you so gay for

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>>38918515
I wouldn't deserve such a great dad

>>38919150
But i chop vegetables overnight, dad. You drop me there and pick me up. And you know i don't watch tv outside of the news and jeopardy

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>>38919994
"Champ, you can sit there and make all the excuses in the world, but getting a job is a part of growing up. And getting a real one is as simple as walking into the place, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Easy-peasy, Champ."

I really like this /r9k/ meme, it's positive and promotes a healthy optimistic view on life.

It's much better than "ree I hate women"

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>>38920481
It gives a good laugh and a distraction from our self-pity

>>38920070
Whatever, dad. I'm not looking for a second job

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>>38920869
"Whatdy'a mean 'you don't wanna look for a job,' Champ?" I'm driving you around to look for a job because I care, Champ, and nobody else cares about you as much as I do. Now get in the car. Just speak with the manager, maintain eye contact, stand up straight, and give him a firm handshake. It can't get any simpler than that, Champ."

>>38921135
>go up to manager
>give him a handshake
>hi my dad wants a job

>>38911410
What's the GBP to spacebuxx ratio again?

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"So... have you found that special someone yet, Champ? Your mother and I think it's time you settled down with a nice girl and raised a family of your own. Raising a family is important because it makes you responsible, gives you a sense of accomplishment, continues the family lineage, and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old. And it's as simple as standing up straight, looking that nice girl in the eyes, and giving her a firm handshake."