Hemorrhoid complaint general Going on day nine of literal crippling

Witch hazel, non alcoholic, squirted on my toilet paper.

>>38909253
What do you mean by this?

Fjfjvj

>>38909275
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_hazel_(astringent)
feels pretty soothing

>>38909293
But the alcoholic kind can dry things up and make everything itch far worse

bro did you not just get ointment? and make sure push it back in place if it hurts too much

>>38909253
>>38909293
I'll give this a try. Any specific brands?
>>38909333
Yes, I have ointment, I put it on every hour, and pushing it in place? I can't even touch it, let alone move it

>tfw my shitting cycle is 1 shit per week
>tfw the 1 shit though is a very big/long one with strain
>tfw it's a vicious cycle

I hate having hemorrhoids, but I love not having to shit every day. The once a week thing is just too nice and convenient to give up on it, in order to get rid of the side effects.

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>>38909389
>Any specific brands?
I've had good experience with the one on the left and bad experience with the one on the right. Haven't tried anything else. I think the important thing is to get non-alcoholic so it doesn't dry the area, worsening itchiness.

>>38909197
lidocaine cream for crises, more fibers in my diet, avoid sitting for too long

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>>38909397
>tfw haven't shit in weeks and don't want to because it will feel like i am pushing the entire continent of north america out of my anus

>>38910019
Well, you'd better keep waiting, for Eurasia, then.

stop eating a shit diet for one

>>38909197
doctor will probably hook you up with a steroid

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>>38909397
Are you LITERALLY me? I do and agree on everything you said.

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>get an inflamed hemorrhoid for the first time in my life at 27 years old
>ass hurts
>just wait 2-3 weeks
>ass doesn't hurt any more

Have you tried not being a little bitch about it?

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I think I'm getting or have a haemorrhoid and I'm scared

>>38909197
anyone here ever have a hernia? just had mine removed after living with it for three years. my groin has never felt better and now ive got some oxycodone but jesus I forgot what its like not having a god damn hernia.

>>38909197
How do you prevent them? And at what age did you develop them??

>>38911748
yeah some of us don't turn to the sauce when we have a little pain in our lives you drunk.

>>38909197
I was once constipated and was pushing hard. I wipped my ass and the toilet paper was covered in pinky light blood.
I sperged out and had a panic attack thinking I was bleeding to death. I phoned up my doctor and he told me it was most likely a tiny burst blood vessel from pushing too hard.
Dont have haemorrhoids tho

>Train butt by using a buttplug
>Never get a hemorrhoid ever again
You gotta stretch it out like your foreskin

>>38909397
>carrying around lbs of shit in your body all week
>farting and having it smell like absolute death
>probably have shit breath

k anon now i see why you're on r9k

>>38909397
Iktf

>>38912122
>>farting and having it smell like absolute death
>>probably have shit breath

Nonsense it solidifies and loses all smell.

>>38912136
holding a shit up your ass all week has got to be hell though right? I'd prefer just shitting everyday or so.

>>38912160
I don't really get the need. It's not really once a week though, I guess a bit more often.

>>38909197
How to avoid getting hemmmorhoids?

>>38909397


You desrve them, then.

I could have actually helped but now I don't intend to.

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>>38911748
It'll come back bigger and stronger than before and your life will suck. There will be no escaping the ass juice smell and flesh will hang out of your ass.

How do I know if I have hemmmorhoids? I sometimes shit out slimy liquid and blood, is that it? I hoped it was cancer.

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>>38909197
Use this shit every night before you sleep for one week. It'll work like magic.

Also don't eat meat, spicy stuffs, and anything that can make your shit hard as fuck. Be a vegan for a week.