Who /schizoid/ here? No friends, no motivation, no emotions,

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>attentionwhoring thread
>schizoid
Stop self-diagnosing, okay?

don't bother bringing it here, you'll get jealous posters.
>>38870012

this is the only time i suggest Reddit because there's already a schizoid sub-reddit.
when i read the schizoid wiki page after i took like 5 tests, i started crying because i knew that was me.
i knew my life is over.

every friend i ever had, i wasn't really their friend. i was just using them to play their video games and occupy my mind, literally every friend i can retrace this.

If i ever commit suicide it will be because i never am compitable with the world

>>38869822
I'm diagnosed /schizophrenic/. I'm wired differently in my brain, but I have friends and emotions, I'm having trouble with motivation but I can manage. Once in a while I have a psychosis where I go batshit insane. But guess it's not the same as schizoid, but it shares some traits.

>>38870385
>Once in a while I have a psychosis where I go batshit insane
whats it like? serious question. what insane things are you doing? how do you not notice its insane while youre doing it? is it like being really drunk and waking up the morning after?

>>38869822
>Tfw schizoid
>Cousin from another country comes over for a month
>He is staying in the same room with me for the entire month
>Day 5 and I just ignored him the entire day because I fucking hate talking to people.

Yup. How old are you? I stopped enjoying video games at 23. Now I am completely empty.

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>>38870420
It's like the part of you being responsible for this kind of worldly logic thinking and reasoning is blocked out and disabled during psychosis. I think from what I read form trip reports it's more like being high on a really heavy doese of acid and waking up from it the morning after, or well, months after.

>pic related, my first psychosis

>>38870469
Any schizophrenia in your family, anon? I've got it in my blood and am wondering whether to get properly into meditation or not.

>>38870435
i stopped enjoying everything else, now all i can do is play video games and watch Youtube 24/7.

even if people reach out to me, i just never communicate with them, even if i want to.
this shit is crazy.

>>38870506
Yes runs in my family, my mother, grand mother, uncle, etc. pretty much everyone on my mothers side of my family got it. I heard mindfulness meditation can be a trigger of psychosis, at least also what I know from my own experience, so maybe be careful with that.

>>38870537
I appreciate posts like this because the descriptions for schizoid symptoms are so vague and I'm shit at assessing myself and I'm pretty sure there's no psydoctor in my area who knows about these rarer disorders. They all do depression, autism, and so on.

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What the fuck am I supposed to do for a living? I want to make movies but I don't think I can create the professional contacts necessary on top of having to pretend I'm a person that frequently.

>>38870683
You could always give up on your remaining dreams and accept an existence you don't actually want.
After all, you can end it any time you want.

>>38870435
22, bought a PS4 a year ago that rekindled my love for them a bit, otherwise I'm stuck browsing imageboards and studying the least I can to not get kicked out. I just want to NEET it out until the end.
>>38870598
Same here. It gives me internal peace that I'm not the only person who acts and feels like that.

>>38870734
I know this is a wishful mindset but I don't want to spend my life doing things I don't want to do, no matter the cost. I have no dreams or aspirations, I just consider creating to be playing and film making is the only job in that field that I think I could succeed in, I just can't do it all by myself unfortunately. I have no dreams or aspirations about it, it just seems like the smoothest course.

I don't fear death, but I'm not going under without giving it a go first.

>>38870833
Then I have no answers for you. I've been and found no solution but to alter my course. No drive, too many challenges, not going to happen.

Having no motivation is probably the worst.
I mean I prefer living in the present, but the future is creeping up on me and I've been doing jack shit for 7 years.

I don't understand this need to be productive at all, is it because they (normies) fear for the future or because they're simply conformists who are just doing whatever everyone else is doing?
I mean if everyone on the planet stopped going to their soul-draining jobs we could go back to simpler times. Our instincts will force us to become productive instead of being motivated by materialistic shit none of us really need.

I've been like this since I was 17 (25 now)
My mother always pushed me to get a job or an education and I simply longed for simpler times instead. I wanna go back to the tribal way of life, even if it means dying of some shitty infection at the age of 35. Who the fuck wants to live till 70 anyway?