Has anyone managed to achieve social development somewhat later

>>38867506
>I have no idea where to go
But you answered your question by posting "I need to connect and grow with people". You could try to get into groups with similar hobbies or try completely different stuff like improv or art class.

>>38867521
I think he meant a place where he won't get picked on for being retarded.

That's kind of hard to answer. I'd be friends with him, but the chances of him being in my country are practically 0%. It's a real societal problem that we have. Normies always pick on the retards.

she cute
more at 11

You need drugs. see >>38867140

I have. You have to learn to go with the flow of conversations. Ignore weird autistic impulses to talk about very specific subjects no one cares about. Eventually those urges will weaken. Also have to come to understand that different people have different ways of communicating.

For example, some people shit talk to other people they like. If someone does that, resist the urge to get offended and hurt. Notice the facial expressions. If they're smiling and casual about it they're just fucking with you. Just give them shit right back but not in a way that that shows that you were affected by the shit talk. Just do it casually with a smile on your face.

Try to communicate with people in the manner which they're accustomed to. We all grew up very differently.

>>38868952
>Notice the facial expressions
We have aspergers you motherfucker

>>38868991
You can tell when people are smiling right?

In addendum, socializing takes practice. You will fuck up at first a lot and feel retarded. Don't let that stop you though. The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.

socializing is garbage and i'll tell you right now, the only reason you want to is biological.

you will gain absolutely zero from it unless you actually want to use people just for an ulterior motive.

>>38869093
This is wrong. Having friends is its own reward. Self esteem rises, you become happier, and loneliness subsides.

Don't turn away from socializing because it's hard (and it can be). It is worth the reward in the end.

>>38869045
When you have aspergers, whenever somebody smiles at you you just assume that they're faking it to be polite. Which isn't untrue when you think about it.
People smile for all kinds of reason but the only smiles that people with aspergers understands are fake smiles and laughter smiles.
The only time you ever think that a smile is real is when you or somebody else says something that you think is really funny

>>38869147
It seems more productive to assume that people are being genuine and act accordingly. It does suck to misread situations though.... But with more experience I think you're able to piece together which instances are fake vs real smiles. It's just a matter of having more experiences. I think. I know it's not that easy, but I have known aspies with friends.

>>38868952
You're just making yourself a slave to other people's bullshit. Be independent. If you want to talk about very specific subjects no one cares about, just do it. Most conversations are about very general subjects no one cares about. I much prefer autistic rants

>>38869133
nah, socializing is shit, if it wasn't, this thread and r9k wouldn't be here and how it is. also, it wouldn't be hard if it wasn't shit.

turn away from socializing, it's a complete waste of time, focus on honing your professional skills.

>>38869256
This is not about slavery. This is something that helps the other person trust you, at which point they are more likely to expend energy on interests you have but they may not. It's like a dance. You say you like autistic rants, but I wonder how receptive you'd be to one that lasted an hour without any expected feedback from you in a topic you cared nothing about.

>>38869208
You misread my comment. Almost all smiles ARE fake. People use their smile to convey things, to broadcast emotions and to give signals. When you have aspergers you have absolutely no idea what they're trying to convey with their smile.

>>38869284
I like autistic rants because I'm not stupid enough to keep listening once they start to bore me. I give feedback when I want to, not when it's 'expected of me'. You think I'm a robot or something?

>>38869328
>when you just let people talk and they expect a respond and you just never give one, leaving them completely hanging to feel stupid and wonder if what they said was completely idiotic

yeah socializing is so great. tip-toeing around words and topics in our extremely PC society is so great.

>>38869328
Why are you being so hostile? It's uncalled for. This might be why socializing is difficult for you.

>>38869293
You are wrong. Smiles are usually genuine. They happen spontaneously with rational forethought.

>>38869374
you're not a therapist, just stop.
there could be a billion reasons it's hard.

it's not for everyone, stop trying to force it on people.

>>38869354
I said I give feedback, not 'I leave them hanging'. There's all kinds of relatively polite ways to cut a conversation short without hurting an aspie's feelings.

>>38869442
i don't care what you do, i was greentexting what i do.
but people on 4chan are so defensive they think every single thing is an attack.

>>38869404
Yeah, because they want to express something, but aspies don't know wtf is being expressed. So to aspies it's as if the smiles were fake because they can't relate to why the smile was produced.

>>38869470
Right. Glad you cleared up that misunderstanding. I didn't really think of it as an attack. I'm just so used to people taking my words out of context and proportion that everytime I get a (You) I must assume it is a reference to what I said.

>>38867506
I improved a bit as in i can act normal for a few minutes at a time. But long conversations always expose my lack of understanding what is accepted by society.

So i come off as a creep or weirdo to those who know me well

>>38869256
You should be mindful of your audience and whether they would actually care about a great level of detail when discussing a certain subject, otherwise the conversation disconnects.

>>38869600
Relatable, you just feel like Cinderella the whole time. You can get a foot in the door but you know the clock is ticking. Soon they will know.

>>38869622
Do you really think you can just look into another person's head and know what they like and don't like? Just hit people with your best shot and hope for the best, I say.

Two things did this for me,

1. Getting a retail job.
Being forced to interact with strangers all day every day for 30-40+ hours a week drilled the basics of conversation into me until I could pretty much talk to anyone.

2. Getting my own apartment.
Moving away from my parents and being able to freely express myself and talk to people online gave me the opportunity to develop my own interesting and unique personality.

I can make friends with pretty much anyone now.
Same goes for romantic partners, male or female.

It's actually pretty easy.

>>38869756
oh, teach me please

>>38867506
i developed all my social skills in college.

watch positive people on youtube or streams exclusively, not toxic people. then go drink 1-2 alcoholic drinks and hang out with people. if you're in a city there are all kinds of social events and clubs to join for every hobby or area. if you're in a less populated town go to dive bars and start by getting to know literally anyone then just bounce between social circles.

>>38869408
Having a difference of opinion doesn't mean I'm forcing anything on anyone. Feel free to ignore me completely if you think I'm full of shit.

>>38867506
I have 4''8 inches. My social development has been stunted since conception.

>>38869877
you should admit you're full of shit first, then we'll be peachy.

>>38869945
I'm the guy he replied to first. He's full of shit. I wasn't being hostile, it was meant as a joke. Can't blame him, though. It's impossible NOT to make your own story of everything you read on the internet.

>>38869775
It's something you learn by practicing. Retail gives you plenty of opportunity to practice. It's also a relatively safe, easy way to do it. Short, one-time interactions with strangers that you'll probably never see again. It's also put into the frame of formal professionalism which gives you an easy template and script to work off of. For me this was a lot simpler than the kind of free-form expression you use informally with friends.

>>38869945
I used to be a robot too. I am fairly normal now, socially. Op asked for help, I provided what I could. As the other guy that says I'm full of shit says, we can only extrapolate reality based upon our own experiences. I have a subjective viewpoint, as do you. Why would I say my own viewpoint is full of shit? That makes no sense.

>>38870108
Bro, I don't even remember what the fuck we were talking about.

>>38867506
Almost exactly 1 year ago I was a khhv with only 1 friend and crippling anxiety/paranoia. Since then I've made a bunch of new friends, had sex, and last night I went to a party and got a lap dance from some random sloot. Change is always possible robots, the easiest way is to change your setting.

>>38870121
Hahaha... It doesn't really matter anyway. I just want to help other robots to push past the barrier to become social because it helped me a lot. Clearly for some, that is not their path. That's fine too.

>>38870108
>Why would I say my own viewpoint is full of shit?

Because it is. When you said socializing is difficult for you, it was a total projection. Nowhere did I say or imply that it was. I was giving my advice to making conversation to someone else. Wouldn't give that if it didn't work for me. But hey, you don't have to believe me if it hurts your feelings (now I'm being hostile, just for clarification).

Btw I'm just kidding.

>>38870184
This has actually been more civil than 90-95% of r9k discussions I have had. Kind of a nice change. Thanks buddy.

>>38869208
>It seems more productive to assume that people are being genuine
Perhaps, but it's correct.

>>38867506
You be come to literally the worst place to ask pal