"Why don't you ask that nice waitress out to dinner,

>>38866403
Grandpa I am 41 years old. That waitress looks about 16.

>Grandpa, she's a vile whore. Do I need to show you my "Modern Degeneracy" Powerpoint presentation again?

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>>38866431
"Champ, listen to what your grandpa just said. It's as simple as looking that nice girl in the eye, standing up straight, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner. How hard could that be?"

>>38866448
>"sh-shut up dad, you know I have scoliosis"

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>>38866471
"Slugger, you could either sit there and make up excuses and phony diseases, or you can man up and ask that girl out to dinner. That's how you meet people, Champ! I know I didn't raise my little Champ to be a quitter."

>>38866403
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

dude stop talking to yourself

>>38866483
>"no but you raised your daughter to be a whore!"
>flips table and storms off
>runs into pull door
>fumbles door
>opens and leave
>gets sleeve caught in door

>>38866483
>>38866448
>This fucking idiot saved the original and flipped version from 4chan rather than just flipping it himself

>>38866509
Please tell me this happened to you

Dad, we're in Eastern Europe, we don't do that here. You should know since we have lived here for all of our lives. Did you take your pills today?

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>>38866403
This literally happened to me tonight + bringing up the fact that i dont have have a job loudly
Parents are great

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>>38868840
"Champ, you could either sit there and wallow in pity, or man up, get a job, and have girls chasing after you. It's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, shaking his hand like a man, and telling him you wanna work there. I didn't raise my little Champ to be a quitter, so you go out there and knock it out of the park. You've got this."

>>38866448
Dad, have I told you about Chad Thundercock?

>>38866403
boomers got an easy ride and then ruined everything

>>38866483
You didn't raise me at all you fucking prick, that's the problem.

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"Champ, you'll never know unless make the first move. I remember when I took your mother to the school dance after I'd caught the game-winning touchdown and got offered a full-ride scholarship to USC and-- well, that doesn't really help you much, does it? Well, Champ, it's simply a matter of standing up straight, looking the girl in the eye, and asking her out to dinner. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38868918
>walk into job
>tell them that I'm the best possible candidate they'll find and "you'd have to be an idiot not to hire me. You'll regret it if you don't."
>guy gives me the most dumbfounded expression he can manage, tries to play it off and be cordial
>don't hear anything for 5 weeks
>get a call
>it's him
>Yeah the guy I hired didn't work out, guess you're right. You want the job?
It really does work desu. I had to turn him down though because a better manager realized how serious I was and hired me and the hours were better.

I would actually do this if I was encouraged to or helped at all, but I'm not.
I really respect what my family has to say to me.

Normies can fuck off though.

>>38867770
I did something like this except it was my hood on my hoodie after I slammed the door. I went to storm off, got jerked back by stuck hood, stumbled back and smashed head into glass part of door, shattering it.

I took off my hoodie and ran. I loved that hoodie too ;~;

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>>38866471
come here, scoliosis bro

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"Anon, when are you gonna give us grandchildren? There's nothing more important than having a family of your own and ensuring your legacy passes from one generation to the next. That, and you'll have someone to take care of you when you get old!"

>>38869150
>That, and you'll have someone to take care of you when you get old!
I'm not going to do it for you, so why the hell would I expect my theoretical hellspawn to do it for me?

>>38869150

If you old fucks were so close to death I would murder you myself and dump your bodies in the ghettos so the niggers can eat you.

>>38866431
Upload ur PowerPoint

>>38866471
>>38869126
Feels fckng bad man. Do u guys get back/neck l pain from just standing and sitting for a little bit too?

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>>38869150

If I get old, if. My cat will eat me, anyways, or maybe my nephews will like me enough to lend me a hand.

>>38866403
Would your great grandfather be proud of the person who is carrying his last name?

omg i love this meme don't let it die

>>38866403
>>38866448
D-dad... why do you and grandpa look exactly the same?

I've missed you handshake dad. Let's savor the month or so before there's a knowyourmeme page about you

>>38871780
what's wrong with knowyourmeme? it seems like the only site that catalogs memes of all kinds

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Did you talk to that nice girl who works at the diner and ask her out to your school dance yet, Billy? You never know what she'll say unless you try.

>>38872318
I did, but she has a boyfriend, so she ain't an option.

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>>38872400
It's betadom for you, then.

>>38872138
knowyourmeme and other things like it are the reason this place is infested with normies, they're the ones who disseminate the memes to the general populace in order for them to become normie.

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"Champ, girls will practically be chasing you when you have a job. And getting one is as easy-peasy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. No need to reinvent the wheel, Champ; it's that simple."

>>38872813
This anon hit the nail on the head.
KnowYourMeme is actually the reason that I fell down the Internet rabbit hole seven years ago. It was in high school and the first "memers" were cringing up the school with their talk of meme databases. A few clicks, a month on Reddit, and then the next seven years on 4chan.
I haven't gone back to KnowYourMeme since then. It's a gateway, not a final destination.

>>38866403
Waitress is out of college, they're poor, I don't date poor people. I make over 60k my first year and starting my own business to try to make over 120k by time I'm 25.

>>38866403
I know this is a joke but this is actually a thing. My one and only friend is a turbochad and he does this on a daily basis. "Watch this anon, I'm gonna ask out the secretary," then he does it and actually gets her number. Total stranger. Fuckin insane I tell you.

>>38872913
I used to like it, but ironically enough most people there don't know their memes.

>>38872881
But dad i lost my fucking hand in the car accident you caused due to your shitty driving

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>>38874693
Champ, you could either sit there and blame other people for your own problems, or you could man up and dig yourself out of this mess by getting a job. And the way to do that is to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ!"

>>38874770
How am i supposed to give a handshake with no fucking hands you senile fuck?

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>>38875582
Just do what your father says: Give the manager a firm handshake, Billy.

>>38866403
Uncle you don't understand I have tried several times to me people and I've failed miserably each and everytime fml

>>38866403 Naked Dad
>>38866448 Solid Dad
Would Liquid Dad be a hippie boomer?

>>38876547
>Naked dad.

Wew Freudian slip

This happened to me the other day at a BBQ restaurant. The waitress walked away after getting our drink orders and my dad said "you should get her number afterwards"

I'm thinking in my head, Dad you really are a dumb motherfucker. I don't even have a car and you won't help me pay for one, and you're telling me to just casually go strike up a convo with a roastie waitress like it's nothing? Even if I had a job it would be some bullshit retail job, I would still have zero self esteem. I have no money, I don't have a normie personality thanks to your shit genes and absenteeism during my childhood, and my IQ is also shit thanks to you. I'm this close to telling my dad to go khs

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>>38866448
>tfw I actually did this once
>we had a date, seemed to go moderately well
>she ghosted me right after
I'm pretty sure the only reason this approach works is because some girls are too scared to reject people in person