What's bothering you today /r9k/? Let it all out For me,

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What's bothering you today /r9k/? Let it all out

For me, I feel quite sad. Technology hasn't reached the point where I can immerse myself in the virtual world that can satisfy my imagination. I grow weary of video games and anime because these memories will never be experienced first hand, and only fuel my biased view towards the "normal" world that I feel I am going paranoid and out of touch. Why do they fuel this bias? Because I grow more fond of this imaginary world. And yet, I know I must reject it. At first, I thought I must reject it because of social stigma and anxiety. Eventually I got over this, as I realized it was a part of my identity. Through looking at others and their perceptions of me, I grasped who I really was as a person. I had a love for the exciting world and wanted to be outgoing. Yet a sudden realisation that the person I was on the internet was not at all like my persona due to energy, lack of friends, and lack of mutually interested people. I know I could go to cons and discords, yet my observations of others have lead me to believe that I distrust other people, a type of anxiety, but not a completely anti-social one. This sudden despair, has lead me to want to go back to the real world and find an interest. I feel sad because I must throw away my past life of fun and comfort. I feel sad because of all the time wasted and the effort into consuming materials was for no higher stimulation of my brain other than lonely joy. Now, because of this despair, I feel excitement and passion for finding a real interest, such as Biology, yet feel so far behind. My passion in these, retroactively speaking, pointless hobbies could have garnered me towards greater things in the real world. I do feel quite glad I might go back to having normalfag interests, but all I feel is regret and sadness. This freedom is breaking ingrained perspectives, and all I can think is to have been born later, in a virtual centric world.