"Hey, Champ. I was just coming up to see if you were ready

>>38820468
But most jobs you need a college degree and experience on top of that including being an astrophysicist and have a noble peace prize.

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>>38820520
All those pieces of paper may seem nice, Champ, but they don't teach you how to give a firm handshake. And that's exactly what you'll be doing when you show up first thing this morning to the store, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's that simple, Champ."

>>38820468
But you need a degree in hand shaking or its considered sexual assault. Also I already have a job dad.

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>dad hassles me for not being able to get a job
>tells me getting a job is easy
>dad loses his job
>he can't get another job

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>>38820583
You can't get a firm handshake out of a degree or a job application, Champ. And we've been through this before: Posting on the Internet doesn't count, Champ. Now I'm driving you around town to look for a job, and I won't take no for an answer. It's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38820614
But I already have a job. I got one the other day after implementing your tactic. Thanks alot mate. I really owe you one. Join my discord server. We need you to inspire some neets to get jobs. /UvKnQPR

>>38820468
I like this new meme

originallo

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>19 yo wheeled into the emergency room
>Conscious, but has lacerations and bruises all over body
>Big gash from the waist to the clavicle
>Recommend we get him into surgery
>Drive him around town to look for a job instead

>>38820468
You are a chump of the guest degree.

If your baby booming faggot ass had to get a job in this day and age you'd be sweeping the floor in mckeks you fag.

I have a decent job already. You'd get swollwed up whole into the fast food and get spat in by Mexicans you entitled fag

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>>38820726
"We've been through this a million times, Champ: You can't fix your problems by pinning them on other people. And posting on the Internet doesn't count as a job. All getting one takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. There's nothing to it, Champ. I didn't a raise a quitter."

>>38820809
I have a job working in finance. Won't go to much into the specifics but I earn 48k per year.

Im posting to tell you you'd be a toilet cleaner in this day and age

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>>38820864
"Champ, you can make up all the fancy titles, fake industries, and numbers you want, but you can't get a firm handshake out of them. And the only way you'll get a job is if you show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38820889
I interviewed and got the job. The handshake was firm yes but that's just an obvious thing you need to do.

Other than that I got it for passing the interviews. You are telling people to walk in shake the managers hand and say they want the job then stand there looking autsimo

>>38820468
HOW ABOUT YOU SUCK MY DICK FAG. THAT WILL BE YOUR NEW JOB FOR ME. BAHAHAHAHHA U FAG.

no handshake needed to get this position

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"Psst. Did you try applying here, Slugger? All it takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, and giving him a firm handshake."

>>38820889
I have a question. I am a millennial who spends all day on the Internet and I have never seen the 1950s a day in my life.

I am intrigued about the whole employment thing and was told to hit the bricks. Please advise me what bricks I should hit and in what order and fashion. Also do they use the same bricks for finding jobs as well as the ones that get shit out of asses?

>>38820468
I gave the manager a firm handshake and he gave me a firm lollipop in my chocolate hole. What do?

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>>38820958
"You've gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and pound the pavement, Champ. It's as easy as walking in there, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Champ, it can't be that hard."

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But daddy, I don't want to go get a job, my robot bf is going to move here from another state and take care of me! Also, mom told you to stop referring to me as a boy! I'm your daughter now and I'm telling mom!

>>38820981
Assuming I have no sexual experience and therefore cannot have pavement intercourse what else would you recommend?

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>>38821012
"I don't think so, Champ."

shut up dad I hate you
damn

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>>38822397
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame your problems on people who are just trying to help out, or you could be man and start digging yourself out of this mess. And doing that is as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Four simple steps, Champ!"

>>38820468
>See this meme on arcanine for years
>Laugh at the stupid dad that doesn't know you need 17 years of college to get a degree to get a job for minimum wage
>Send my resume out to 40 companies, never hear back
>neighbor my age tells his dad he wants a job, they go out on a Friday
>Comes back 3 hours later with a job
>Ask him what he did
>"Went in, told the guy I needed a job and I wouldn't be late, 4th guy hired me. I start Monday. $8 an hour"

>>38822510
You should have asked
>"But did you give him a firm handshake?"

>>38822560
I did
He told me
>Dad said: fill out the application, ask to hand it to the manager and when you do look him in the eye, shake his hand like a man, and tell him you need a job and won't be late
He works in a warehouse. Been there about 4 months. Got trained as a forklift driver, makes $10/hour now

>>38820699
>wait a second
>his hand's been destroyed by a fire?
>godammit champ, how can you give a firm handshake like that?
>get him the best prothetic hand we have, I don't care if he crushes the manager's damn hand, he's giving the goshdarn handshake!
>two weeks later
>okay, champ, you used to that new hand yet?
>good, just go in, look him in the eye, and don't let that prosthetic hold your handshake back!
>godammit, champ, you crushed his damn hand! We gotta get outta here!
>the manager's got a gun!
>darn, champ, you've been shot! Don't pass out on me!
>two days later
>mexican border
>I tried to get away, but I'm not crossing that border
>we're just gonna have to wait for the manager to catch up with us and hope we can handshake our way out of this hiccup
>can you hear that?
>son of a bitch....
>I don't know how else to say this, champ
>...the manager has a jet
>one last handshake, champ? For old times' sake?

They handshake as explosive fire engulfs them, some say that boomer and his champ still wander the desert, looking for a manager they'll never find.

>>38820942
Im gonna lose my fucking shit

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>>38823319
We're gonna find that manager if we have to explore deep space to do it, Champ.

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>>38821012
>mom told you to stop referring to me as a boy

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"How's the job hunt going, Champ? You know, it'd be easier if you filled out the application and gave it to the manager. When you see him, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you won't be late. It's as simple as that, Champ."

My dad would never offer to take me job hunting, he just bitches from the sidelines about me not having a job.