Do you any of you actually want to get better? Reading

>>38793255
I'd love to get better but no one has given me the motivation to do it.
I think the only way is if my paranoia goes away and I can actually trust people again.

>>38793274
what happened to you that made you distrust people?

what are you paranoid about? their motives?

motivation should be your own happiness. it comes from within, not other people

>>38793274
You need to be self-motivated, faggot. Welcome to adulthood.

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>>38793255
Yes, but I have no idea what's left to fix. I've already fixed myself in every way that I can think of. Can I fix luck somehow and find love that way?

>>38793255
>>38793294
STOP

THIS

SPACING

>>38793315
sounds presumptuous and pompous of you to say that, you clearly need to fix your lack of humility
how old are you?

>>38793395
No, it's a serious statement. I don't think I'm perfect by any means (clearly I'm nowhere near perfect if I'm an adult virgin), I just don't know what areas of my life are really not good. It's just uncertainty and probably blindness to the obvious.

As far as age, I'm 18. Been trying to improve myself for 3 years now.

>>38793255
i really don't care about getting better anymore. I'm a 22 virgin neet. I'm so far behind the average person that i just really have no idea how i would be able to function around everyday normal people. Tbh i really just don't care to, i know that i'll have to become a wageslave eventually, but i just keep putting it off. All i hope for is just a small apartment with internet one day

>>38793255
I am getting better.

>>38793255
I have to

>fix sleep schedule
>make a doctor's appointment
>get medicine
>wait for it to kick in
>code something amazing and put it online
>revamp my resume
>land an an interview
>succeed at that interview

All just to get a job. It's gonna take awhile.

>>38793255
Thats the thing with depressed people OP, we just cant be fucked.

>>38793255
I know I need to get better to be happy but I'm scared to get better. My problems are what makes my personality and I'm scared that if I fix my problems, I'll be an entirely different person that I don't like

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>>38793255
I actually think I don't. I'm getting worst and worst each passing year and I think I'm enjoying it. I want to see how deep I can go until there is no turning back.

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>>38793255
Yeah. I really am working on it.

>my second week without a cigarette or any nicotine began 15 minutes ago
>college senior this fall despite getting way into drugs, having a meltdown, not going to class, dropping out, and becoming a depressive NEET after not even completing freshman year on my first try at school
>quit energy drinks along with the cigs
>no longer a fucking junkie who'll do or try anything to get high
>worked really hard last year to teach myself dexterity and coordination; I can draw now, I'm almost fully ambidextrous, and I taught myself archery
>walking several miles every day
>no longer waste my life or money on video games
>made a genuine and sincere effort last year to be quieter, more respectful of people, particularly my elders and betters, and more humble
>fixing sleep schedule; circadian rhythm able to function without an alarm clock now
>seriously trying to get into medical school now despite being a lazy, retarded fuckup who has, for all intents and purposes, been held-back
>actively trying to be a more loving, sincere, generous, selfless, honest, and respectful person despite being a toxic, self-destructive, manipulative, emotionally-stunted, mean-spirited, selfish, spiteful, vindictive, conceited, jealous, parasitic douchebag
>actually trying to be close with my family and making a particular effort to at least visit all of them
>finally gonna reach out to my mom
>been a vegan for like 7 years, as obnoxious as that is and for what it's worth
>actually trying to be pleasant and uplifting to be around instead of a complete fucking drag
>sincere effort to talk about myself less
>sincere effort not to speak badly about others or engage in gossip
>sincere effort to dial back my sperg and be normal and non-cringey instead of expecting the world to give me special treatment
>at least trying to use profanity less while in polite company

It's slow progress.

>>38793255
we want to get better but most aren't motivated or don't know where to start.