Tomorrow you become god. You will have power over life and death,

>>38766805
create a planet of giant beings that look just like you're photo. I'd be giant, too...Of course

>>38766805
Triage all the world's problems and fix them anonymously

>>38766805
Fuck around with humanity, just like irl God

Pick a random person and for the next month do minor irritating things like, moving their keys to a different spot so they have to look an extra five minutes, make them step in gum, or keep blowing their hair in their eyes.

>>38766805
>YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH
YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH

>>38766839
>giant women
>I'm giant too
What's the point then.

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>>38766805
Kill alot of people slowly.

all girls have big tiddies

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Lose my virginity with a beautiful woman.

I would take mercy on all the beings in samsara and end duality. Then I would recreate duality but only make a cute anime universe with no real suffering.

>>38766914
I knew you'd ask. Imagine being a giant FUARKIN giant women in landscapes like you'd see in DBZ. Now we're talking...!

>>38766934
Better not kill pic related.

She's hot as fuck.

>>38766891
>tfw there are semi-powerful spirits doing this to people all the time

>>38766805
Create an alien species that is only female and seek lifelong mates, they can change their appearances to look as sexy and alluring as possible. They will fuck each male atleast once every 3 days and while they don't fuck they go and hunt for human women to kill. They can get pregnant but they can choose not to even if someone sprays semen up their vagina. Once they've eradicated human women and replaced the female population they will contiue living with their mate and consider Earth one of their many colonies. They would also bring interstellar technology to us so we could travel in space and visit their homeplanet which has billions of horny ayylmao chicks wanting to get fucked.

>>38766942
Just like the christian god did? Please if you get godly powers don't cuck the poor farmer.

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>>38766996
So...sorta like the Asari?

>>38766998
I won't cuck the poor farmer.
I'll get my own girl because I'm not an arsehole.


Until I get bored and fuck around woth people, making their lives a living hell one second and a beautiful dream the next.

>>38766996
Literally just described a more violent Asari. Not that I'm complaining.

it's interesting that almost no one would be a merciful or kind god.

>>38767055
I don't know, I've never played mass effect so I don't know about all the different ayylmaos. Basically they can transform/morph into whatever you find the most attractive, so if you like blue skinned or purple skinned chicks for example they can change their skin colour and appearance to please you.
>>38767122
I did? They are horny space aliens?

>do like >>38766996 and make hot alien babes to fuck
>make a comfy house in a comfy woodsy area like Washington
>live with alien babes
>get whatever I want
>travel around
>explore space
>become immortal
>do whatever I want and never really get bored since I can do literally anything

>>38767140
You say that but we've had good posts in this thread.
See
>>38766948
>>38766845
>>38766942

>>38767155
Asari can mate with any race. I mean ANY race. Their features are designed to attract males of all species to them. So yeah you described them to a T. Minus the whole killing every female of the other species.

>>38766805
Carve a fantastical palace for myself into a mountain in the uninhabited wild, do miracles, gather a following.
Sire half-god sons to serve as messengers of my word and executors of my will around the world.
While I sit in my palace playing video games and watching youtube videos.

>>38767155
I don't know if I'd say they're hornier than usual, but they basically reproduce with all the other species (including but certainly not limited to humans) and if they want to do the freaky they have mind sex. All Asari are female, and all offspring are Asari as well.

>>38767218
Forgot to mention they are exclusively female.

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Save the white race. What else would I do?

Eat a whole lot of greasy, unhealthy shit and not get tummy ache or get fat.

>>38766805
I would do the best thing.

In order to know what that is, I would already have to be omniscient.

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create creatures and make them so smart to realise that they exist, then leave them without purpose and see if they end up killing themselves

>>38767388
So basically our current (((God)))?

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Morph into a little boy, teleport to a rural American town and go on to terrorise it for 40 years.

>>38766805
I would make images of Jesus appear on toast, also ensure that middle class people have the exact amount of milk they need for cooking.

>>38766805
Ever heard of the phrase "Strong men > Good times > Weak men > Bad times - repeat" ?

Normies are like pawns. They can be easily manipulated, as long as they don't want the truth. Keep the media in your favor, keep the normies dumb.

"robots" are just normies who have autism. Smart enough to see the le hierarchy, but far too stupid to do anything about it or themselves.

Do I hate normies? No. If I were God or in power of anything, I have to pretend to love normies. I have to be as normie as possible. At the moment, that seems to be a nihilistic "savage" who makes fun of kids on Twitter.

With my power, I would keep whites alive. They're the most productive. I would make white women submissive and take away that feminist thought process. From the powers I have, I can't get rid of kebab and niggers myself, so I'd have this new red-pilled race get rid of them both for me. I'd then have a "BASED MEDIA" set the narrative that science is bad, and education is bad, which makes any knowledge of communism, Marxism, and any possibility of a mortal fucking with my plan to never happen and never exist. An ideology only exists among minds. Get rid of the ones who know of it, and get rid of the evidence it's ever existed.

A concept as simple as "give me shit, i give you shit too" can be thought up by literally anyone, but these people I've created will be so stupid from who really rules over them, they'll never wake up.

Besides, I'm God. They can't do a revolution, even if they wanted to.
Too lazy to proofread my wall of text, I've already done the captcha.

>>38767513
>exact amount of milk they need for cooking
people use milk for cooking?

>>38767553

I'd pray to you, anon.

create a world where half the humans worship the color orange and the other half worship purple, and each side believes the other color is evil, and then just let them fucking murder eachother

other than that, probably leave small trinkets of immense power about earth and just sprinkle them like candies for random people to find, death note-esque items, jewelry that grants the wearer some comic book power shit, glasses that let you see what a person is currently thinking over their head, etc, i just would wanna see how people react and what they would choose to do with power like that - essentially make CYOA's real

>>38766805
Finish what the uchiha clan started, to destroy the leaf, that is my nindo, my ninja way.

>>38766805
I would make all women titcows, then make them unable to lie, even about things where they lie to themselves in their minds.

Then I would sit back and enjoy the mountains of salt.

Probably kill myself, like I was gonna do tomorrow anyway.

>>38767553
>From the powers I have, I can't get rid of kebab and niggers myself
>power to control life and death
>can warp space and time

are niggers and kebabs in a dimensional realm that transcends space, time, life, and death?

infinite gyros.

>>38766805

Give everyone a million bucks

It'd be worth it to watch their delight right before the currency crashes

>>38766805
Create a vast library of every detail of knowledge past present future.
Spread rumors of the mysterious library
watch as they go mad trying to find it allow some to find it and watch them become pieces of the library.

>>38766805
Randomly take off women's clothes and cum on them while they sleep.
Also, I'd replace every single chocolate chip in the world with raisin

Maybe become a child and live in a 1950s suburban area.

>>38767637
I've established in my mind that this great replacement of my race is inevitable and I can't do shit about it. I haven't though that they're just like me: mortal.

It'd be more fun if my red-pilled race went to war tho. A grand show.

>>38767233
>Carve a fantastical palace for myself into a mountain in the uninhabited wild
>While I sit in my palace playing video games and watching youtube videos.
This
Fuck the rest of the world I just want to sit in an isolated location and be comfy

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I'd just probably teleport to somewhere nice like Switzerland or Greece and just enjoy the nice scenery. I'd like to go and see all my friends that are living overseas too.

Go and look around people's houses when they're not home. It's not even a sexual thing, I just like seeing things that people think are private.

I mean technically I could do that now, but if I was a god it would guarantee I wouldn't get caught since I could just wipe their memories or something.

>>38767661
are you having a stroke? jesus christ, fucking autist

Fufill my fetish.

>>38767645
>no more choco chips
>only raisins
YUO FUCKING MONSTER

>>38766805
1. Become god-Emperor of the universe
2. Kill a few individuals I despise
3. Create my perfect wife. Marry her
4. Make life happy and nice

>give the world free electricity generators that anybody can learn how to make and they can fit in your pocket
>create a pocket dimension and worldbuild, living out my deviant sexual fantasies for eternity

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Mind control all the sluts that ever rejected me and fuck the shit out of them.

Then create a harem of chubby girls with huge tits and asses that would play traditional games with me for all of eternity since I can control time/space.

This is the only correct robot answer

>>38766805
I'd make my life a fantasy.

>>38766805
the worst thing imaginable...
nothing.

>>38766805
Make my own universe, go there create my own worlds and quietly observe and nudge things in a direction. Basically what God does now.

>>38766805
I would make anime me real.

>>38767335
>Eat a whole lot of greasy, unhealthy shit and not get tummy ache or get fat.
how is your vagina doing today, fembot?

>>38767645
>Also, I'd replace every single chocolate chip in the world with raisin
This is the true sign of Satan.

>>38766805
Get myself a goddess.

>>38766805
I would send everyone I personally know, have known, and the people close to them to some kind of heavenly place in another dimension, where everything is perfect.

Then I would make the earth my playground where I can live out all my fantasies without worrying what my family and friends think about it.

I would go to the titty dimension and fuck titties

>>38768578
you're a god. would you imbue a woman with equal power that you have?

>>38766805
End all suffering including my own

>>38768889
Not him, but Hera or Aphrodite don't have power equal to Zeus.

>>38766805
I'd just set myself up to live comfortably and then take university classes for as long as I could. I want to know everything, like a saturday morning cartoon villain.

I'd probably just watch humanity do what they do.
We're pretty interesting desu and being able to watch people and understand their motivations for whatever they do would be incredible.

Unless you mean I just have those powers and im not actually god.
I'd mind control the gook to give me a pass so i don't have to fill captchas.

Kill everyone, but in the span of an hour

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Not do anything, because i know i'm to irresponsible to have god-like powers.

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>>38766805
Die as bitter virgin :'(

>>38767589
>create a world where half the humans worship the color orange and the other half worship purple, and each side believes the other color is evil, and then just let them fucking murder eachother
don't steal ideas from babylon 5 anon

If there wasn't a multiverse, then I'd make one. Then I'd go through each alternate universe and start a compendium of the humanity's greatest books, music, video games, and anime.
Then I'd spend the rest of eternity working on my backlog.

>>38766805
erase australia

I would probably just stay in a human form and experience life unhindered by things like not wanting to die or a fear of being arrested.

I'd also turn myself into a girl whenever i wanted to jack off so i could just jack off to myself.

shitpost on /r9k/

totally original, and not worthy of a ban

>>38766805
find a quiet place atop a mountain, and begin influencing humanity to inherit the stars. once that's done, i'll fuck off and make another form of intelligent life somewhere and observe it from a distance only intervening when necessary.

>>38769541
what type of shitposts would you make? how would it be any different than what you can do today

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>>38766805
Make the jews the new master race just because i fucking can, go to another planet, fuck it again, rinse and repeat

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>>38766805
Create a battle royale multiverse tournament where several universes select fighters to fight for their survival.

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>>38766805
My first order of business would be to abduct random attractive women off the street and enact my most detailed delicious sexual fetishes on them (since mine are fantasy in nature) while also converting them to be addicted to me and those fetishes in exchange for immortal beauty.
Then after a few years of doing that I would start a sort of valhalla where I roam the Earth specifically looking for just and righteous souls to fight in a separate universe they can freely travel to. I would also hold tournaments at regular intervals while being the final boss (without making myself too OP).
The victor would get 1 wish granted in the real world.

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>make 30+ years old males literal wizards, capable of greater feats as they get older
>watch normies tremble as a virgin magocracy is built worldwide
Meanwhile I'd kick back and observe the beauty of creation, while I design some crazy experimental planets.

make animu real desu

>>38770208
do the thirty year old wizards lose their powers if they have sex with a woman?

>voldevirgin is about to take over the world but one female sacrifices herself to pity fuck him

>>38770376
Of course. I'd make sure that no non-virgin ever holds any real power on Earth ever again.

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>>38766805

Cure my own erectile dysfunction.

I would slowly over the coarse of a week, grow every female breast to the size of huge watermelon, thus insure world peace and happiness.

>tfw cant comprehend omnipotence and accidentally imagine everything to stop existing including myself and die
t-thanks

I'd probably create planets. Each of them having different biomes/atmospheres/etc. I'd really experiment with what I could do.
Then whenever I want to go somewhere comfy I'll go to a comfy planet of my choice.

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>>38766839
>I'd be giant, too of course
You just killed my boner..

>>38766805
Create a being that takes over those responsibilities for me.

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>>38766805
>make the entire universe anime
>orchestrate a fascist coup in every nation
>sit back and watch the fireworks as the RWDS kill off the commies
>watch as humanity expands to the stars and wars with the alien menace

>>38766805
Everyone gets one random super power!

>>38769771
But jews already are the master race

>>38766805
I go back in time and fix all of this.

>>38766805

See all womans boobs in the world.

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Create a Lunarian master race and watch as they take over the earth and wipe out the filthy impure humans.
Also, make another Emu war happen with Australia losing again.

>>38766805
Vindicate the suffering of every single thing that has died unfullfilled. Create a better world from the ground up.

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>>38766805
I'd make myself being able to have so much "good feeling" as physically possible for eternity, i would also erase everything else in the universe.

>>38766805
I'd find a safe, non-interventionist solution to the rising number of troubled and hurt-feeling Anti-theists in the world.
I feel for them. I remember what it was like feeling terror thinking about the higher power because I couldn't imagine how anything that would let me suffer the way I was could be anything but malevolent. It's an inherently selfish position, I guess, but it's very human and very understandable.

More selfishly, I'd find some really cute, sweet, articulate chubby girl who was comfortable with her body and arrange for a string of coincidences that would let me meet her. I wouldn't mess with free will, but I would do this with women I was attracted to until I naturally hit it off with one. Snapping my fingers and conjuring a harem feels like cheating.

>>38766805
Cause a fuckton of chaos and make everyone live in a state of fear and misery. Then I'll just fucking kill them.

Time control is OP- you can generate infinite wealth via investing, make every conversation have a perfect outcome and generate infinite knowledge. In all honesty, I'd probably just live life normally with the ability to cheese myself into good situations or out of bad ones. Fucking with people would get old after a while, especially when I was at one point on the same level they were- any suffering caused by me would be too relatable.

tldr I act like a normal human bean who is able to freeze time and see girls naked whenever I want.

>>38770467
that would actually be a really interesting story.

>some 60 year old godpowered wizard conquers the world but the pleasures that come with ruling could never be his

>>38769465
If you are omnipotent you will be done with your backlog in an instant.

Create humans with different skin colors and watch them brutally genocide each other for shits and giggles.

>>38770915
You don't need time control to generate infinite wealth in OP's scenario.

>>38770887
Just reveal yourself to the world and there won't be any reason to be anti-theist.

>>38767566
Baking, mostly. Or pasta sauce. Dairy is in everything delicious.

>>38767553
>With my power, I would keep whites alive. They're the most productive

Literally 90% of the things I own say that white people don't produce shit anymore.

[sp]not that i'm complaining i love having cheap computer parts[/sp]

>>38768891
Well I'm glad Shinji wasn't as much of a pussy as you are in EOE.

Restore south Africa to 40 years ago.

Honestly I've thought about this a lot. I feel like it'd snowball pretty quickly.

There's a shit ton I'd do. First, I would probably lose my virginity and kiss a girl and do all that stuff. I'm not sure if I'd make my oneitis fall in love with me and do it with her, because although I'd want to, I also don't want to force her into it. However, at some point I'm sure I'd lose self-control and just give her a big fat dicking.

Also, I'd make my dick much bigger, tired of this small shit. Make my whole body better, not all at once, but basically as if I did vigorous exercise every day and ate right, etc. Maybe read the minds of all the hottest women around me so I can see exactly what they think about me and change it to be more attractive. I guess I could just make everyone see me as attractive though.

It would then degenerate. I'd be stopping time and feeling up bitches, probably would start getting into some nasty shit, raping women, giving myself twenty tentacle dicks and giving a honey the time of her life. Then I'd probably get into weird shit, like fucking ladyboys and getting fucked by the perfect woman but with a dick.

Then I'd be getting gangbanged endlessly by beautiful ladyboys, but like, they'd just be hot chicks with dicks. Enormous dicks. Cum leaking out of every hole.

Then I'd go back in time and meet Napoleon.

>>38766805
Live peacefully and make sure that i'm not a bother to anyone.
That's literally all i want in life.

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>>38766805
Reset the universe, delet women, make men able to reproduce A-sexual and make Jojo a reality. Also everyone would be born a 6'5 tall blonde hair blue eyed white male.

>use god powers to ensure I will win a few billion dollars
>use god powers to forget and lock away my god powers until I die
>live out my life
>use god powers to reincarnate as another person
>use god powers to forget and seal my power until death

Basically I'd enjoy endless life times as different people in history and in future.

Idk, got no work tomorrow might aswell work in my projects, also real Anime teddes.

>>38766805
Give every robot the happiness they wish for

>>38766805
Kill 3/4 of the world population.
Let them die in their sleep peacefully.

Kill everybody I encounter that annoys me in even the slightest way by instant body covering 3rd degree burns, if I get bored take some home to torture to death in various ways.

Create a perfect afterlife, make the world perfectly blissful for people and animals, and fuck the hell out of willing girls.

>>38771726
dude what. why would you become more gay over time? i can understand someone becoming more degenerate over time as they become numb to everything but i don't think people are so sexually fluid that they will become gay.

>>38771879
isn't that a form of imprisoning yourself?

>>38767611
What changed your mind, Anon?

>>38767720
>Go and look around people's houses when they're not home. It's not even a sexual thing, I just like seeing things that people think are private
Do you post this exact phrase a lot or is this a meme?
I 'member you.
Have you ever watched 'Following' by Chris Nolan? I think you'd dig it. It used to be on netflix I don't know if it still is.

>>38766805
make anime tiddies real

>>38768242
stinky, I'd reckon
also probably irritated in some way
open fucking wounds

Remove extreme suffering. In such instances, individuals continue doing exactly what they would normally have done in the situation, and the end result is exactly the same. They will still know what happened (assuming they would have survived through it), they will still feel like they had suffered through it, but they didn't truly experience it.

>>38772028
I suppose but I could experience new and exciting things without the temptation to cheat mid way in life. I could have easy starts as a member of the nobility and just live comfortably in different settings in history.

I imagine if you lived as an actual God things would get boring after a while. If I want to have fun I need to be worried about life and death you know? As a God the only way to make things interesting would be to create other Gods to play around with. I suppose that would be fun, like a game of Civilization using humans.

>>38766951
why not just make a very tiny planet with tiny trees?

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I'd fuck around until I was bored. Then I'd probably have myself be reborn as a rockstar or some shit with no memory of my godhood. Once I died I'd get my powers back.

>>38772016
you place way too much importance on sex

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Every anon's waifu becomes real, and with enough effort, will fall in love with said anon.

>>38772174
that's an interesting perspective. so for things to be fun you need opposition. i guess it is probably true since we tend to only value things when they are hard.

>>38766805
Put all the big leaders from earth in the same place. Make them knee to me and make a public announcement on the entire planet that im the Almighty God Emperor Of Mankind and im going to fix this mess. Give everyone 3 options:
>Lets go kill aliens!
>Lets go fuck aliens!
>Lets fix this planet first.
I honestly dont care what they choose. After that i give jobs and food to the poor, i kill all terrorists, i whip all criminals, skin alive torturers, etc. I create my own imperium, i create 108 daughters to serve me, of course besides that i fuck countless women and men (as i can change my shape). I choose the most loyal humans and make them inmortal, they become my mighty army. We start going planet after planet and leaving humans settlements in there. Aliens must kneel to our empire or i slave them. Yes humans can fuck their aliens slaves. Human disputes are not allowed inside my galactic empire, our anxiety for war must be solved via fighting aliens. So i keep doing that until i have the entire fucking universe on my grasp. At this point i probably know some truths about our existence that are beyond my current mortal comprehension, but in any case, if there is a limit to where i can go ill probably just make my new objective to achieve nothingness. If there isnt, ill continue going for all eternity. The end.

Basically universe sandbox but like irl.

>>38771095
>just reveal yourself to the world

See "I wouldn't mess with free will"

I'm fairly sure a LOT more people would be angry at God if they could prove he existed.

I take the whole thing on faith myself and you can bet I'm gonna have some pointed questions for the guy when I kick the bucket.

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Give amazing powers to a chosen mortal.
one who would certainly establish a cult, and shape the world to their image over many years. then, as their plans have almost completed, i take their powers away without warning.

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>>38766805
Do nothing, Just eat my holy popcron and watch since the worlds already fucking doomed

>>38773290
you devlish bastard

Descend into the mortal plain and experience my life again, this time with true understanding of the thoughts running through the heads of the people around me, and shape the world and the history of mankind so that the people I cared about will live fulfilling lives and eventually be able to cope with their mortality in peace

>>38766805
Delete everything, including myself. No question.

>>38766805
destroy the jews

make it stop being summer

>>38766805
>reborn in the viking age as a norsemen with impeccable physique
>make viking worldview real
>limit power so not tempted to use it, or just remove temptation or knowledge of having said power
>write myself a guide
>split myself into myself and Odin and guide me through life
>make it so that after Ragnarok I become regular joe again and have a book about my exploits but no memory of them
>also reset myself back to 4 years before now but knowing then what I know now

All these other posts are boring
I would live three times as a viking, twice as a spartan, once as a Waffen SS posted in Norway/Sweden breeding Nordic qts.
Reset back to 4 years ago three times too, so I can achieve desired outcome, afterwords, if I do not like it I'll come back to normal now, and rid myself of such powers.

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>>38766805
I fuck of course,bye bye normie Earth.

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>>38769787
LET'S FUCKING GO YOU BLUE NIGGA

>>38766805
First, unite the human race under one flag, those who resist will mysteriously vanish.
Second, create fluffies, because with all the hard work humanity has ahead, they're going to need stress balls to kill.
Third, evolve africans, to where they actually become intelligent and contribute to society in all lands.
Fourth, devolve the chinese, we're going to need lots of laborers and sex dolls, and those bastards breed like rabbits.
Fifth, have the human race make earth into a eucomenopolis, with mars and venus terraformed as our farm worlds.
Sixth, sit back and watch the human race flourish.

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>>38766805
Make everyone with more than 5% jew heritage burn very slowly, from extremities towards the head.

Teleport all asians that arent japs or mongols to jupiter.
Teleport all niggers to pluto.
Make it so the vag of women who have sex with more than one person seal close.

Make it so the cock of any man who has sex with more than one woman falls off.
Do nothing else.

>>38766805
make dogs smarter than humans and see what happens

>>38766805
Floods of water didn't work, time for floods of napalm.

>>38766805
Meme a space elevator and warp travel into existence

put a 24 hour timer on my life

Listen to an elvis song in another solar system

>>38767553
You started off persuasive, but then you meme yourself into racial/political shit.

So much of the world's inherent to >>>/pol/ where you should go back to

>>38766805
Fix this board. Restore it to it's former glory. Work some cosmic humor to make it so that all robots live near each other and are coworkers. Make it so that feminism never existed. Make it so that robots get the good lives they deserve. I get the power to become God and I'm going to forget about my people? Not a chance. /r9k/ is my home, robots are my family. Roasties and normalfags will not desecrate this sanctum any longer.

spawn a bunch of anime and vidya characters around the world
sounds fun

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>>38766805

Corrupt humanity into a state of constant war with itself, creating horrible abberations on the dead earth, feast on human fear

Uulwi ifis halahs gag erh'ongg w'ssh.

>>38766805
I would only do things a righteous God would do.

>>38766977
Fuck I hate r9k

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Inform the world that god is a Serb

>>38773654
secret society of technically inclined autists

sounds pretty comfy

>>38774121
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOIqaI51xpo

Serb for yourself

Every so often, Id drop a random SCP into the world and see how the government handles them

>>38766805
>>38766805
that doesn't sound like being god, just superman
still nice, though.

I'd just use it to finance my clubbing addiction and take it to another level

Give myself the ability to never having to recover after an orgasm and just jerk off the rest of my life

>>38774218
>>38774218
Your misfortunes and pleasures are memes and can be solved by some electricity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de_b7k9kQp0

>>38766805
A massive remodeling and cleanup of the earth, followed by a worldwide culling.
I've thought about this a lot actually.
then i will bestow advanced knowledge to those i've decided to leave alive, then kick back and let them advance and see where it goes, butting in if they start fucking up again.

Perform guinea pig experiments on humanity.

>>38766805
That's a pretty cool fantasy you fucking ape

There is no such thing as god.

I'll humor you tho this time, the first thing I'd do is blow up this shitty planet.

Probably just cancel the universe, it's a failed project.

>>38774196
normie who do you go clubbing with?

>>38766805
Play vidya with humanity. I'll give myself a top-down view of Earth and then just organise shit the way it needs to be organised.

>>38766805
>Make America Great Again
>Take care of the environment, teach humans the environment is not a hand to bite
>Fix worlds problems world peace no globalism end world hunger make Africa have less desert

>>38774444
>hey what would you do if you could fly?
>shut up retard people can't fly
you, the edgy underage and waster of quads

>make satan chill af
>/b/r9k/s4s/ dosent exist
>the only reason you go to hell is for using /pol/
>bigger titties

>>38767388
that's unimaginably cruel

>>38766805
First of all I would rid my bloodline of having any imperfections.
Secondly I would go back to the 14th century and spend that time until I'm capable of swaping back with myself in present day, becoming one of the most skilled painters in private kino tutorage.

Thirdly, I would map out my own covert religion, which would consist of a couple of tenants and political statements and make it so that only people compatible with these thoughts could breed effectively without complications or luck. The rest of the population would slowly fade away with every passing generation due to their rapidly declining birth rates and people of my covert religion would by default become the defacto ruling people of their country. Although I would immediately remove the "problematic" religions, this way, some christians who would fall under my religions tenants would still be able to produce without say, troubling free will.

Fourthly, I walk around relaxing and watch my new society of ubermensch right-wing populist utopians rise up and create the comfiest society known to man, dedicated to raising healthy children, fixing enviromental issues and then of course, spend my day making chick's tits bigger.

Give everyone their own universe they control

become a grill

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>>38775751
Woah sort of profound there

>>38766805
Just observe the whole universe/multiverse with acute interest, presumably like the real one.

create an infinite supply of weed and booze, kill everyone I truly hate, then spend the rest of eternity messing with a random person each day

>>38767388
i'm scared of death due to this

Firstly I would create a new earth. This is my earth.
Then I would give the robots of /r9k/ a week to gather all the things they need, then I shall relocate their stuff to the new earth, give all robots immunity to law and death and allow them to run rampant to do whatever they want and I shall join in too. Imagine the chaos we could all get up to knowing there would be no consequences.

After that, when the earth is ridden of all normalfags, I shall evacuate you all from the corrupted planet to the new one. From there, I will give you the decision to stay on this planet and I will make a paradise for you all, or I will give you your own power to create your own world.

Finally, I will make one more world for me and I shall get myself a Yuno who can help me create the world that we want to create, and from then on I will spend my days with Yuno perfecting your world (Earth 2) and roaming my own world with my love.

Makes me sad knowing that I don't have this power

Spawn like millions of Easy Petes from New Vegas and see what happens

Oh and I'd incarnate myself as a mortal in a time period of my choosing and have no knowledge of godhood, also although I have no actual godly powers fate still aligns itself in my favour so I will always become an important, successful figure unless I say otherwise.

When I die I will return to my god state and make a planet sized big Mac and throw it towards the earth

>>38775751
But anon, we already have that. We have the universe of our minds.

Retribution. Alpha used as slaves and give betas females. Females lose all rights and when 14 her family is forced to have her marry someone.

Adultery will be punished by stoning. False accusation of rape/adultery will be punished by stoning.

Jews and blacks are put to "summer camps" like my boi hitler decided.

Society works on every male having a fe male and with that he has desire to be productive to support his family.

Also if world peace is achievable but unsustainable then shit skin will become slaves.

>>38766805
would i know how to control time and space, because literally the only thing i care about right now is fixing my health issues?

>>38766805
I would give it up immediately - make myself human again

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>>38766805
Make mars habitable and create the martian race, they would be more advanced than earthlings.
When some time passes I'll just create a space war between the martians and earthlings, while I watch comfy over them.
Oh and also make Waifus real
>pic related

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Probably torture religious fundamentalists, rapists, pedos, and all kinds of bad people. Make a literal hell.

I suppose it sounds edgelord-y, but I've always had a deep fascination with gore (not of animals!!) and I would love to profoundly torture another person who deserved such a horrible fate. It's mostly about this twisted sense of justice that I have. To have a person who presumes to have power over another, to submit instead.

I'm pretty bummed out that I'll never get to do any of it.

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I would get a real comfortable chair, sit back, and let things work them selfs out for a billion million years and then destroy it all and do it all over again.

Go full Goku Black mode and get rid of every human except for one person. I'd torment this one person, give him powers and give him false hope thinking he won. But I'd just reverse time and do it all over and over until I get bored.

Since I am in one of my more nasty moods and wishing the world to burn right now:

None is able to lie anymore.
If anyone is asked a question he or she can't evade or stay silent, they must answer truthfully.

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I'd change the average IQ of all races on earth to 120, I'd then proceed to minimize the impact of all forms of government corruption.

I'd make sure the universe won't end, that non-time travel FTL is possible and that there are relatively close friendly alien species for humans to meet.

Then for kicks I'll temporarily turn every guy on /r9k/ into near brainless bimbos that are aware of how degenerate their behavior is but not capable of escaping it, trapped forever inside a mind that compels them to get spitroasted by Chad and Tyrone.

After that I'll make it impossible for anyone to gain my level of power then remove myself from power not before raising my IQ to 200, giving myself knowledge in all STEM fields and spawning a VR device that can simulate all senses and bypass optical nerves and send information directly to the brain

>>38776385
>Not torturing Staceys, former High School bullies, heretics, degenerates, feminists, SJWs, and nu-males
Go back to tumblr.

>>38766805
Build the perfect utopia of society, control one guy to be the hero to usher it forth, mind control the opposition leaders to commit suicide if they plan to intervene with the utopia
Watch the utopia grow, pluck out bad apples and fix the cause of the bad apples in the society, mind control the hero to create a order that is extremely loyal to the ideals i give them
Guide the hero and the utopia to be worldwide phenomena, when world is united i leave them ideals to follow through the hero, every city has a statue under which the ideals are explained to the laymen
Stop controlling hero and watch what happens, fix the parts i got wrong and improve the parts i can, spend my eternity tweaking and improving the system, if i see alien species try to harass my utopia i threaten them to leave it alone with my powers, if they want to co-operate and share in the utopia ill let them, once again ushering a hero forth from the masses to be my avatar on earth
If someone pretends to be my avatar ill strike them with literal lightning in public boiling their bodies alive and blowing them up into a mist of blood and gore for all to see
If people get really scared of me or want to see me ill reveal myself to them in public and do a Q&A with them where they can ask for my motivations and goals
Anyone who tries to start some underground anti "god" movement i would purposefully mislead to do ridiculous rituals while impersonating another entity
>spread a females milk in a pentagram while wearing ritual diapers and dropping hot wax on each other to summon me to this world
If the goofs do it ill just appear in the summoning circle and go
>tadah! you've been bamboozeled, stop your occult bullshit and go outside more
Then ill just leave them there looking like idiots

>>38777059
Well, I used to be a bully, so no-go there

but I'll torture feminists, sjws and nu-males too

I would make it illegal for me to wear pants, then walk around while bouncing my junk at random people. I would call him Mr. Petersburg and create a little army cap that he can wear on his head that allows me to charge into battle against those who seek to oppose me. Of course this means the alpacas of the petting zoo down the street. I would bounce my cock proudly down the street, army cap on top, as I march proudly towards the alpaca farm. I would make them submit to me, I would rape them proudly while yelling out the chants of a proud Nordic warrior.

I would also make Laffy Taffy cost 5 cents less.

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>>38766805
You missed an important detail OP.
Do i have the power of creation and destruction?

>>38777342
>Thinking your morally superior enough to punish people when you're a sadist who spent his high school years turning someone's life in to living hell
You might as well be a feminist, because you're just as big of a hypocrite.

>>38778053
If you have control over space you automatically get both creation and destruction powers.

>>38767238

No they aren't you bum Bangalore.

>create a new world
>10 women for every man
>have monster girls, human girls, elves and shit but only human men
>remove women's hypergamous instincts and base sociopathy that they all possess so they aren't evil, selfish cunts for once
>women find all men attractive, but the moment they so much as kiss a man they mate for life without exception
>make men exude pheromones in aerosol and liquid form that act as an attractant and aphrodisiac to women and make them have earth shattering orgasms every time
>non sapient slave race of various cute animals handle all labor and agriculture so people can just fuck, cuddle, and be happy

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>>38778996
It wasn't that bad. Only bullied those who deserved it. That is, who were too much of a pussy to try to defend themselves. Although it was fun, I didn't do it 'sadistically'.

Don't get me wrong though, bullying isn't ever justified, but some kids just attract it for one reason or another. I would slap some sense into my young self if I could, because I'm not necessarily proud of what I did, but c'mon. I'm not saying crazy things here.

>>38767589
Basically writing this rn

Adjust human biology so:
-Using magnetic fields like a pigeon, humans who migrate more than 500km from their place of birth (or landing spot on another celestial body) become infertile, asexual and/or miscarry. Backdated to year 2000
-Humans live a maximum of exactly 75 years from the minute they are born
-Libido level permanently decreases by 50% for every sexual partner (100%, 50%, 25%, etc)
-Libido and sensitivity of women doubles, orgasms twice as easy. 80% now achieve regular penetration orgasm, 100% in foreplay
-Libido levels and function for men and women last until their mid 40s.
-All have a stronger for-life bond to their partner and children
-A bright red blood spot forms on skin between the belly button and genitals for each sexual partner
-An easy tell-tale that a female is attracted to a male, e.g. the eye sclera turns pink
-Make pregnancy 10 times harder, but make birth defects 10 times less likely
-A healthy woman aborting a healthy fetus is permanently infertile
-Female births outnumber male 1.25 to 1
-Adultery, rape, child/animal cruelty and defamation results in an agonising pain in genitals and heart that can't be relieved, lasts one year. Each crime doubles the intensity
-Attractiveness and health is directly related to a person's personality/behaviour; the kinder/trustworthy/etc they are to their family and local community, the more physically appealing, and vice versa
-Average woman is 80% the size of a man
-Humans gain a maximum of 30% body fat
-Female head baldness and body hair below neck gone
-Healthy fresh sperm is actually tasty and good for skin

Be 1% of all humans born every year since 2000, all of which I control. These "humans" improve humanity/civilisation without revealing my godhood.

Artificial wombs/sperm/clones/etc, GMOs and cybernetics is severely restricted.

Only 1 human-intelligence-or-above life-form in every 2 galaxies. Safe Man-made wormhole travel possible. Sex possible with 5% of said alien species, but not pregnancy.

>>38781173
wtf you gave all these benefits to promote sex but made it so people can only have sex with 1 partner?

>>38782096
It's called a meaningful relationship, Tyrone.

>>38766891
could you fucking stop please? its starting to get annoying

>>38782096
Yes. Fuck degeneracy.
I wanted to keep sex interesting and fulfilling in a monogamous relationship, reward those who choose carefully, sticking with a relationship and punish those who mess around.

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>>38766805
Make a monolith and put it on Earth just to fuck with people.

pic related

>>38781173
>make it so women have to commit to monogamous relationships
>make women outnumber men, ensuring that 1/5th can never be happy

>>38782351
They can be lesbians.

I would keep everything exactly the same apart from some direct divine interventions whenever I feel like it. With no regard whatsoever to being subtle.

So, yeah, every member of every hate organization and fundamentalist church would suddenly burst into flames, traps would become real girls, I'd make lots of very specific people immortal and invulnerable just because they deserve it and it'd be interesting to see the effects, and I'd often change my appearance and teleport around to go perform acts like this in person.

My personal life is already perfect, and humans basically already "work". All they need are pushes in the right directions. And yeah, is it probably a horrible idea that will backfire? Absolutely! But who the fuck cares, when I can just reset it if I fuck up too hard?

>>38766805
Fix everything from the shadows and credit the ones who deserve it most

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>>38766805
Give off an eerie psycho like presence to get what I want out of fear from people...
Like Elliot Rodger only successful

>>38766805
GET

EVEN

>>38766805
1. get my harem of dream asian waifus
2. become rich
3. fix some problems in the world

>>38766805
I would do the same fucking thing our current God is doing.

Not a god damn thing.

>>38772179
>wanting to live on a tiny planet with small trees
Ridiculous

>>38766805
Use my powers to fuck women and torment people. Would end up killing myself eventually when I get bored.