ITT: autistic things you do >submerge my dick in the toilet

>>38736139
>>submerge my dick in the toilet water when I pee so it is completely silent

ew

Sometimes I like to pinch the end of my foreskin closed and pee in it so it swells up like a balloon.

>pinch tip off as I piss
>prostate gets slightly stimulated as entire urethra swells from urine

anyone do this?

Pee on the sink, kitchen or bathroom

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>>38736139
>get into warm bath
>feel incredible urge to piss
>have to piss in cup kept on edge of bathtub

on a slightly different topic, how the hell do you guys with big dicks have your junk end up touching the water when you take a shit?

i legitimately don't get it

t.average-donged anon

do you wipe your dick when you're done? of course not, you're a robot

>>38736250
it only happens at my workplace because the water levels are above average

I have long balls

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when i was kid (before i masturbated) i used to get sexually aroused from pissing in the shower

>>38736147
Hey, if it's a stupid idea but it works, it ain't stupid.

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>>38736250
Some toilets are smaller than others, excuse my bad drawing but sometimes it touches the front part of the inside of the bowl if let it hang in there and then i get hard

>>38736139
How do you not have a UTI?

>>38736473
toilet water is clean dude

>>38736330
>>38736377
ah yes now i understand, i thought it was your flaccid wangs dipping into the drink

thank you dubs especially for that illustration

>>38736184
When i was like 7 you fucking weirdo

>>38736486
the bowl is not clean though

>>38736552
you don't wash your toilet bowl?

>>38736250
This only happens in porta potties for me (literally the worst place it can happen) I just hold my dick up a bit.
Also one time I used an unfamiliar toilet and my dick hit the bowl when I sat down, the sudden cold on my foreskin gave me a bit of a shock. I just washed it off in the sink afterwards, it wasn't so bad just unnerving.

I go on r9k everyday

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>come back from gym
>water bottle half empty
>fill it up with tap water
>shake the bottle so that the new and old water mix

>>38736139
I always have to have a shirt on while I shit
>get out of the shower and feel the sudden urge to shit
>struggle getting my sjirt on my wet body just so I can shit comfortably

>>38738165
Nasty bitch
Fkd

>>38736139
you either have a fucking long dick or a very shallow toilet.

>>38738165
I've done this a few times, would not recomend it tastes like ass.

>use the Internet on Sundays between 11AM and 11PM only

>>38736139
Anon that's disgusting, poo goes in that water

>>38738165
I can understand this, as it 'purifies' the old water in a sense.

Ever since I found out backwash was a thing I take care to always tilt the glass up and pour the liquid into my mouth in a way to minimalize the amount of liquid going back into the glass. I can't drink from the same bottle as someone else. The thought of drinking someone else's spit disgusts me.

>>38736139
After going for a run, I rub a finger between the area where my leg connects to my pelvis and smell it because I find the scent oddly appealing.

>>38737987
How is this possible? Most porta potties have a pretty deep well under you, at least 2 feet deep and maybe 3x3 feet base. Should be loads of space.

>>38738165
Not autistic, saves plastic, makes it taste better cuz old water tends to taste super plasticy, at least in West Burgerland

>>38738464
The sweat smell?

>>38738570
Not quite. It's different when it's between your thigh and your ballsack. I can't explain it.

>>38738570
The ones that have a shallow bowl that goes into a lid that covers the hold the shit goes down. The lid tilts down when weight goes onto them so the shit drops down but it's also covered so you don't have to smell everyone else's shit.

>>38736139
>walk on my toes while not wearing shoes
>when I am distressed my nose flares up and I show my teeth
>Enjoy climbing on the top of my house and do nothing but stare out into the landscape

>>38736139
>pantomime playing instruments when I listen to a song
The autism really comes through when pretending to play drums since I've never played drums in my life and I'm just swinging my arms in the air completely out of rhythm.

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>>38736139
When I was a kid I thought you reproduced by some invisible gas that went out of the penis to the vagina (I hadn't masturbated or cummed yet) and that sex was just grinding on them while hard to spread the gas.

This turned into a sexual fantasy where the whole class was brought into a lab, stripped naked and strapped down to a bed, then a machine was connected with tubes to each penis or vagina and the machine randomly connected the tubes from a boy to a girl to initiate reproduction.

When I was home alone I would take a toilet paper roll and put it around my penis then close my eyes to simulate being connected to the machine.

I imagined being connected to a cute girl and that she went "No, not him!" while crying. But there was nothing she could do.