you're all still lucky. you all still want to be with women. you all still want to be with someone. i don't. i can't. i don't even want to be with anyone. i don't want a gf, i just want to jerk off. i don't want marriage, i don't want to have sex, i don't want to chat with them, i don't want to talk to anyone, i don't want to share my life with someone else.
getting yourself to talk to women is easy. but being sane again is very difficult. it broke my heart when my dad asked me "who's your gf now ? are you seeing someone rn ?" it breaks my heart that my parents might not be able to have grandchildren from me. it breaks my heart that even if i was to be married someday, i can't provide honest emotional companionship for my wife. because i really don't care about anyone else. i'm so obsessed with myself. i'm so obsessed with how i dress, with what i think i should get into, like photography or artwork. i just care too much about how ppl see me and categorize me. i'm already 24. i only have 6 more years to actually live the way i want (only by myself, and my own hobby and escapism).
>>38726526
even i still like to fantasize playing music in front of ppl i could impress, or just fantasize doing something and position myself in third person position, looking at how good and cool i would look doing that stuff. everytime i feel intimidated or inferior or insecure, i make up melodies or beats in my head while mumbling, fantasizing playing it and impressing ppl that just made me feel insecure or inferior. i'm pretty good at music, btw. but yeah, i'm very insane.
y'all just need a little bit of a push. i need exorcism
>>38726526
>getting yourself to talk to women is easy.
HAH, good joke.
>>38726585
i also really enjoy browsing through gears and things that i want to own, and fantasize wearing or using them in a scenario that i wish could happen in my life, being seen by ppl i wish could see me. fuck. i can't wait to graduate college and get a job so that at least i get to force myself to do stuffs that will shape me into something normal and sane
>>38726592
no, the problem is not something deep and difficult to change. it's not chronic. it's just shyness.
>inb4 therapy
idk about therapy
>>38726608
I do that too
Is it abnormal