hey /r9k/ it's drunk femANON (females can't be robots)

also don't ask for proof bc last time i posted it i got BANNED and move to /soc/ shithole

I don't know what helpful advice you could possibly give me.

>>38703974
Post your voice as proof. There aren't any rules against it.

>>38703974
Fuck you post tit

post proof on /b/ and link to the thread

Sure. Before I do, state your age and situation ( health, social life, living condition etc.) so I may understand what point of view your coming from

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>>38703963
Record a vocaroo of, "i'm a dirty roastie slut and I belong on soc", and that'll suffice. you shouldn't get banned

If I'm handsome will girls find my autism endearing?
Because I've learned to suppress my sperginess but in turn it also completely suppresses any personality I have.
Should I just act upon my natural inclinations?

>>38703995
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0oeEBPaNWoH
good idea you legend

>>38703992
me either BUT i'd like to try

>>38704031
you sound like Anna Kendrick. what are you drinking?

>>38704006
answer to all questions is "piece of shit"

>>38704017
honestly depends on level of sperginess. details? level of handsomeness?

>>38704052
dunno if that's a compliment but thanks bro. and vodka mixed with fanta because i'm classy

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where do the introverted girls who refuse to sign up for tinder and facebook hang out? I wanna hang with them.

>>38704104
mostly at home. try supermarkets as well bc people gotta eat. also colleges maybe?

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>>38703963

Have you ever masturbated out of boredom?

>>38704149
haha nice meme girls don't do that

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>>38704165

B-But masturbation is fun

>>38704175
maybe but i wouldn't know

>>38703963
How can I get boys to want to date me irl, OP? I'm a girl.

>>38704076
I'm self aware enough not to be a total cringefest, but I still got the 'tism so certain social nuances are beyond me and I get negatively judged for it by others. Like my "refusal" to greet my co-workers or make small talk. I just see things like that as pointless even though I know they serve a valid social function to make others feel more comfortable with each other.
If I had to guess at my level of handsome, 7 outta 10 but that may be generous. I tend to see women giving me looks like they want me to say something or approach but I just keep to myself and possibly start avoiding them out of anxiety. I've had gfs in the past, but the last one was around 8 years ago (I'm 27 oh god kill me)

do you work? I wanna what sort of employers besides Target specialize in hiring washed up roasties?

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>>38703963
Fuck off attentionwhore
>>/out/

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>>38704191

Have you never masturbated in your life?

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Would a girl date a guy who's only 6'0 and a part time computer hardware enthusiast who enjoys some light anime and gaming but also is at the gym 12 hours a week?

>>38703963

OP, do you find femboys attractive or you prefer the alpha man?

>>38704194
dude let me know when you find out

>>38704104
This to the fucking max... I'm so tired of these fucking basic loudmouths. Introverted girls are my thing. They're far more interesting and clever in my experience.

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How do I not sperg out when meeting new people? When I'm with close friends I'm totally relaxed and stuff, but the second I'm in a new enviroment with new people I panic and I just can't talk.

>>38704031
I want to compliment your voice but I don't know how, it sounds nice.

>>38704203
hmmmmm. depends on the kind of girls you're going for. 4s and 5s would absolutely not care at all, probable even find it endearing, but 7s and above might be thrown off. honestly though it depends on the person. I think you've got a good shot, anon

>>38704209
i work at your moms house

>>38704213
thats not a question but i still love and respect you anon

>>38703963
What do you think of men with this fetish? Would you do this for your hypothetical bf?
>>>/gif/10930246

How do I stop falling in love with every mildly attractive girl I see?

>>38704217
what's a masturbated

>>38704296
when's the last time a guy loved and respected you at the same time?

>>38704218
a lot of girls would but personally guys who work out tons are not for me. also don't listen to the losers on here 6'0 is tall.

>>38703963
is this song good to pick up chicks?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcIEqDNyG-4

>>38704031
Lol that was cute, you started off speaking like a robot then turned into some beta cuck

>>38704064
Okay so you're a smart ass. Good enough read for me.
Let's say you're in your early 20's and running out of time to live (Couple years max) but you retain full functionality of your body up until the end
How would you cope? What would you do?

>>38704224
somewhere in the middle to be honest but it depends on the person (loser answer I know)

>>38704330
>using a song to "pick up chicks"

anon please

>>38704237
RELATABLE but what i do is just have a few things i know people should say like "nice to meet you" "what's your name" etc etc. I also find laughing at peoples jokes makes them like you more.

>>38704237
also thank you!!!!! i feel like i don't sound like that recording irl but who knows

>>38703963
I'll contribute too. This thread looks comfy. Peanuts was the best. Anyway, how do I stop being so damn shy? I've been at uni for almost two years and have made 0 friends because of it. To make matters worse, one of last friends I made years ago ended up molesting me for months so I'm kinda afraid of meeting new people. Is there a way I can force myself to break down these barriers?
Sorry if this is a bit too out of your depth by the way.

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>>38703963
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38703974
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704165
fuck you and gtfo
>>38704269
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704285
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704296
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704308
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704324
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704346
fuck you and gtfo.
>>38704364
fuck you and gtfo.

Attention whoring cunt.

>>38704298
i don't know... i mean each to their own but personally i'd be scared of irreversibly hurting them or getting the cops called or something. maybe something like that but less extreme?

BEGONE THOT
origamigli

>>38703963
How do I approach women?
What do I talk about to women?
How do I kiss?

>>38704360
you didnt answer me you whore

>>38704399
fuck you and gtfo.

>>38704306
picture them on the toilet getting their period by surprise and then shoving toilet paper in between their thighs and waddling pantsless to the nearest cupboard in search of tampons

>>38704315
woah deep do parents count?

>>38704031
big kev?

>>38704415
fuck you and gtfo.

1

>>38704413
Read peoples names dude.
I'm not OP.

>>38704399
what if you knew there was no risk of damage, would you enjoy doing this?

>>38704330
absolutely lets get married

I lost my virginity to a prostitute. How does that make you feel?

>>38704424
fuck you and gtfo.

>>38704446
fuck you and gtfo.

>>38704338
can females be cucks? real question

>>38704478
Cuckqueans are a real thing

>>38704343
Interesting question. I guess it would be a relief in a lot of ways, I wouldn't really have to worry about the future too much. I'd get a bunch of credit cards and just max them out travelling nd doing shit i've never done bc of money. As for coping, not to be edgy but I reckon a couple years notice I wouldn't freak out much.

>>38704478
Can I hear your voice on a daily basis?

>>38704378
no don't worry this is relatable as fuck. What i would do is make myself useful to other people in some way. Like in HS i had access to alcohol and a free house a lot more than other people did so that's how i made friends. I'd also do photoshop for anyone who wanted bc it's one of the only skills i had that others didnt. Also, people are usually open to making friend. I know it sounds easier said than done, but join clubs and shit. As for being scared of meeting new people, as spergy as it sound stats helped me. like if it's already happened once what are the odds of it happening again?

>>38704381
wait, what should i do?

>>38704412
a- just do it BUT make sure they're girls with friend hotter than they are because then they wont be expecting it.
b- what do you like? So long as it's not TOO spergy generally it'll be ok. Or, talk about the girl. ask her questions nd shit. get her talking about that bitch brenda
c- who knows bud

>>38703963
I'm head over heels sweet for a girl I'm dating,and she seems sweet on me as well, we casually talked about moving in together. I get really attached quickly, but I've had it cause me problems so I learned to restrain in, This is the first time I've felt my affection returned so strongly, but it's making me insecure that one or both of us aren't taking the relationship seriously. Should I go with the flow and go with my natural pace of really fast or do you think that's a bad idea and I should keep it slow

>>38704561
Thanks, OP. This is solid advice. Who knows how much wisdom you'd have if you were sober.

>>38704425
i googled big kev and yeah that's me

Will you be my bff on discord/Skype who I call every day

>>38704415
but that's hot af desu

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>>38704364
Thanks for the response. I laugh at jokes very easily, but I always try to hold it back for some fucking reason and my face turns completely red. I should probably do some research on conversation starters or something.

Also, Is it Autistic if I have a handbook where I rank all my friends skills (luck, charisma, charm, intelligence, ect) and the level of my relationship with them? I also update this book constantly and get depressed whenever my relationship with them goes down.

>>38704443
enjoy it? probably not. I'm not huge into inflicting pain.

>>38704639
yo im not the thot but yeah thats autistic

>>38704502
I must be honest. that's a very normal response. I was hoping for a more unique point of view but oh well. You are "drunk" so I won't fault you...
I guess I open it up to the rest of the anons then if you're willing:>>38704343

>>38704545
you'd get sick of it i promise

>>38704664
I promise that I won't, what do you think of my proposal? >>38704629

>>38704602
hmmm... that's tricky without knowing you both, but I'd go with a healthy middle. going too slow might make her think you don't care so be wary of that. If she's ready to move in and you want to, i don't see the harm?

>>38704620
probably less, honestly

>>38704629
i don't have either of those i'm a recluse

>I know you are falling for me but lets be friends, okay?

Do women seriously ever think that orbiter spiel would work out to any mutual advantage, or do they damn well know the hurt they cause and just do not care?

>>38704638
too true. i guess remember that they probably have stank assholes and fucked up personal relationships

>>38703963
How do I get a GF who will be ok with my weird fetish?

>>38704639
it's a little autistic but keep it hidden and you're good

>>38704661
yeah you're right it's basic as shit but it's honest.

>>38704729
Well I am also a recluse and I want to be your bff so how do we remedy the situation

>>38704737
no i think they genuinely want to be friends most of the time. i mean, i;ve never been in that position but what else are you suppsoed to say if a friend you have no romantic interest in wants to be involved with you?

>>38704780
Thank you for the honesty.

>>38704750
depends what it is... craigslist?

if u live in houston plz date me
if not then plz answer whether or not its ok to go to concerts by yourself and how to meet people there

>>38704810
I don't :( but yea totally i guess. i don't go to concerts but i guess the line outside, or the toilets, is probably the best way.

>>38704808
lactation

Not original I know

how do i get new hobby? gaming is boring now. important info i have no legs

>>38704810
What's so special about dating that you want? Please elaborate.

>>38704830
well if i go on a date with someone then maybe theyll be my gf

>>38704818
that's not too weird. try websites for it OR hit up pregnant women and don't mention that you have a fetish. they;ll probably just like the attention.

>>38704845
Okay. Let me rephrase. What is your point behind it? what are you seeking in the end?

>>38704825
good question. find a community around a hobby first. like i started reading again when i started reading /lit/.

>>38704797
>what else are you suppsoed to say if a friend you have no romantic interest in

"Stay around and I'll try to get you a gf if I can manage, and I won't start blathering about my crush to you all day" would be a nice variation on the theme at least.

>>38704869
i wanna wife someone up

i want a companion who could be my best friend and help me start a family

>>38704867
i would NEVER. i just legitimately don't talk to people or anything most days so i don't have that kind of stuff.

>>38703963
How do I become friends with other women? I can't do it. Do you have girlfriends?

>>38704883
i don't think this hypothetical girl owes you her effort for you developing a crush on her

>>38704887
Here's a left field question... do you consider yourself to be pretty?

>>38704763
You play any vidya?

>>38704898
i do, but not many and not close. I wish i could give advice but those friendships just sort of.... happened? with women you gotta put in EFFORT like texting first nd organising stuff.

do girls like animal collective?

>>38704929
i'd give myself a solid 5. i have some good physical qualities but not "pretty" per se

>>38704950
They're shit so probably.

>>38704934
only shitty mmos and browser games from when i was like 11

>>38704958
Have you got tig ol' bitties?

What would you rate your personality out of ten and why?

>>38704965
D: hey thats mean

>>38704971
What browser games?

>>38704901
She is the one who wants to be "friends" with a guy, so she likes him enough to have him around and enjoy it.
That is still not worth the little effort of shoving a girl that needs a lay into his direction?

Srsly, and then you wonder why most guys think women make for shitty friends.

>>38704950
i don't know what that is but some probably do.

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How do I get a friend?

>>38704995
wow so youre a pleb ok

>>38704977
technically yeah i guess.
and maybe like a 6? I think i'm fairly nice but a bit lazy and annoying.

>>38704031
voice is cute as fuck, congrats

>>38704991
when i'm bored i'll log back onto howrse or moshi monsters or club penguin when it existed. literally trash tier stuff but the memories. also shit on like cool math games.

>>38704958
Interesting. So why do you come to this place?
My reason: I don't belong. I have got no business being here but I find the people intriguing. And I like broadening my awareness/knowledge and I have found you can learn quite a bit on here if you sift through the garbage.

>>38704992
if you don't want female friends you don't have to have them. also once you've expressed romantic interest she doesnt want to be friends anymore she's just trying to be nice

>>38705000
let me know when you find out. actually though its a lot of effort like leaving the house and texting and shit

>>38705020
thanks!!! it's fully fake

>>38705041
i guess i'm not exactly like you, i feel like i belong to a certain extent. i don't have many friends and i'm a bit of a failure but mostly it's nice to go to a place where you don't have to pretend like everything is ok (edgy)

>>38703963
When I'm around people I know well, I talk very freely and make a lot of jokes but I can't do this around strangers - much more so women than men. When every I take MDMA/coke I get the ability to talk to people and relate to them which makes me think that the problem is internal to me. However, when ever I try to relate to people sober it doesn't work and they put up a detached front that is characteristic of someone not wanting to talk to you or share any kind of information that would put them at risk of relating or empathising with you. If that doesn't happen, I tend to have a disjointed conversation that really just feels like we are both thoroughly on different wavelengths and just don't really get what the other is getting at or why.

>>38703963
I'm asking for this thread to be banned and for you to leave, because you're useless and not worth the attention

>>38705111
Forgot my question. How can I get better at talking to people and relating to them and why do you think that typically I have such difficulty talking to women and what could potentially remedy that?

>trying to be nice
Keeping that shit for coworkers and being more honest to even former 'friends' would sure give nicer results instead of just signaling how nice they are.

Thanks for the answers in any case, maybe it helps decipher that shit in the future.

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You're the worst roastie ever, worthless attention seeking slut

>>38705111
not to be that bitch but try anti-anxiety meds. if chemicals help you with it it's probably an inhibition problem rather than a you're-permanently-fucked problem.

>>38705101
will you be my qt girlfriend

>>38705122
am i breaking any rules?

>>38705134
please stop hurrting my feeeeeling senpai i just wanna spread love <3 <3 uwu

>>38705149
am not qt tho

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>>38705038
I wish I could remember my Moshi Monsters password. I got my parents to sign up for me way back when. Aaah the memories. I kept pestering them for membership, but I never got it. I don't have any experience in club penguin, I could never quite get into it. Coolmathsgames was breddy gud too. I remember playing papas Pizzeria games cause they were the shit.


Great taste in web games m8

>>38705138
My friends have floated this idea to me before but the thing is I don't really ever feel anxious, I just notice more pronounced disconnect from people sometimes.

One last question, why do you think people dislike or at least avoid people that come across as depressed?

>>38705206
dude i loved the papas gamed pancakeria was my favorite.

>>38705196
Will you be my not qt girlfriend/friend

>>38705207
I'd still try it. doctors prescribe that shit pretty readily nowadays.
And i think bc it's infectious, just like happiness. If you hang out with sad people you'll be sad and if you hang out with happy people you'll be happy.

>>38705225
totally lets get engaged i now pronouce us fucknign losers

>>38705101
No no it's fine. It might be slightly edgy but it's definitely true. I'm also practicing a bit of escapism myself by being here. I have a shit load of crazy thoughts (existential) that always cloud my mind when alone. I find you guys are, to a certain extent, more real than the husks that I hang out with on a daily basis. All they do is... well, "do". It seems like none of them think at a deeper level than the daily monotony of their boring lives. Maybe they do. Maybe its that no one shares these thoughts and I'm just the one with the weak mind who finds himself unsatisfied with the current standing in life (weird because I'm very successful at anything I attempt to do). Sorry for the rant. curious of your response though.

>>38705253
:^)
please email me
[email protected]

>>38705287
i don't know i feel like classing people as real or not real is pretty basic. like, all humans think at a deeper level of thought than what they portray. im a fuckin gdumbass though

>>38705376
Well that "classing" was just a figure of speech but I see how you could interpret it that way... I know that people aren't entirely superficial (almost all). I guess what I mean is I wonder how often people take the time to face these questions and what do they come up with.

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>>38705223
would you eat my refined creations?
only $9.99 AUD
totally high quality and not burnt on one side because I forgot to check them

>>38705516
i would eat the middle one but you're getting a shit tip from me i only accept the best

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>>38705557
what do you think about this dog

>>38705574
good ears. but whats that shit in front of him

>>38705599
Someone probably brushed the shit out of either dog, or the carpet he sleeps on.

>>38705599
answer everything with vocaroo from here on

>>38705574
extremely good boy
>>38705599
most likely his fur

>>38705630
http://vocaroo.com/i/s16PWFdEBqJQ

>>38705619
>>38705637
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0lwwI1vX52l

>>38704415
>picture them on the toilet getting their period by surprise and then shoving toilet paper in between their thighs and waddling pantsless to the nearest cupboard in search of tampons
Hilarious that girls think men are this easily put off. No matter how nasty a woman is, she can be hosed off clean and be ready for use.

>>38705701
ok then picture tham falsely accusing you of rape or smth isnt that what men are scared of

>>38704747
>too true. i guess remember that they probably have stank assholes and fucked up personal relationships
assholes can be cleaned and 100% of women are fucked up. not a deterrent.

This may be the best thread I've ever seen. I actually have a lot of things I want to talk about, but just looking at how this thread is evolving is cool

I'm 26 and I haven't slept with a girl in 4 years or even really tried. I don't really have many friends any more to go out with and there are no prospective women in my office.
how do I get out of this rut I'm in?

>>38704639
>I have a handbook where I rank all my friends skills (luck, charisma, charm, intelligence, ect) and the level of my relationship with them?
/r9k/ is a god damn Hollywood script writing engine I swear to Christ.

>>38705728
spill my friend waht's on your mind?

>>38705721
what if they call every dog they see a "doggo"

>>38705736
i know it's shitty and cliche but tinder maybe? or something like that. if you've done it before it won't be too hard- women are on there for that very reason. depends how high your standards are

>>38705047
>if you don't want female friends you don't have to have them. also once you've expressed romantic interest she doesnt want to be friends anymore she's just trying to be nice
exactly, so they should just be honest. ripping the band aid off quick makes the pain from it end sooner.

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>>38705557
ill have you know that my doughnuts are of super high quality and if you don't want to eat them then ur just a normie who doesn't hav refined tastbuds like mee

I'm so sorry, I have no idea where I'm going with this.

>>38705770
god that's the worst thing in the world

>>38705772
My standards are higher than the fat fucks I get matched with on tinder

Maybe I just need a new profile pic, I've gotten better looking as I've worked out more. Should Ihave my dog in my profile pic? Girls love dogs from what I hear

>>38705776
fine i guess i'm a normie then better to be a normie than to eat a SHIT doughnut

>>38704869
>Okay. Let me rephrase. What is your point behind it? what are you seeking in the end?
welcome to /r9k/, home of the miserable lonely fucks club.

we want sex and cuddles and companionship and love and laughs and smiles and good memories and better lives.

>>38705798
totally, a dog is a good idea. Also make sure you're not messaging like a sperg

>>38705599
Thats what I brush off him daily. Its too hot for him

>>38705832
i love him. big dogs are master race.

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>>38703963

Did you eventually get over your Ex girlfriend?
also dog #2

>>38705805
A direct and blunt answer. Thank you

>>38705829
I'm timid so I have the opposite problem. I don't message at all or I don't say much. I just don't want to meet people online. But I don't know how to do it otherwise

>>38705770
>what if they call every dog they see a "doggo"
i call them puppers. sounds like a fairy tale ending where we live happily ever after tbqh.

>>38705832
its because most of it is just fur stuck to the surface of his coat from the garage floor. He likes to roll around

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>>38705801
take that back or I'll make columbine look like a fucking joke

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all of you desperate fucks seriously need to rethink your lives. you're replying to this roastie and feeding her endless feast for attention. this roastie doesn't give a fuck about you or your problems and only cares that you're all replying to her. fucking losers REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>38705857
Yeah heh Theyre both german shepherd's too

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>>38705664
>ywn have a gf with a qt american accent
When I went to california as a brit, everyone would love my voice, they told me. Well, I hardly even interacted with many americans because of all the foreigners and mexicans, and the very few of the ones I did commented on my accent

>>38705879
i don't have an ex-girlfriend?? but chill dog i wanna hug him

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>>38705943
Of the ones I did, very few commented on it*

>>38705949
oh. I must be getting you confused with another femanon your voices sounded alike..

>>38705884
hmm... try making friends first, i gave some (shitty) tips for that above. then try meeting mutual friends of theirs.

>>38705903
please do fuckin columbine me

>>38705921
dab on them haters :(

>>38705921
>all of you desperate fucks seriously need to rethink your lives. you're replying to this roastie and feeding her endless feast for attention. this roastie doesn't give a fuck about you or your problems and only cares that you're all replying to her. fucking losers REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
we're /retard9k/. we won't ever act rationally. that's what makes us special. this will hit 300 replies soon enough, just like every fembot thread. we're all a bunch of Joel's.

>Why do I fall in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention?

>>38705943
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OaMpSpcAnw

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>>38705979
kkk
this is a totally original post, you agree, don't you?

>>38703963
how do i get over my ex?
she died

>>38705999
that's normal. i do it too.

How do I stop my mental problems from ruining all of my friendships?

>>38706020
fuck. i dont think you ever can. but the best way is to remember that she's not feeling any pain or sadness or anything rn, and feelings of sorrow come from a place of understandable self-pity

>>38706014
So thats why you sounded so robotic on your original post.

Unless your pulling another "sarcasm because I can" episode.

>>38705748
You sure? Here I go, I don't really expect anything other than being made fun from all the others robots tho.
I've always been the shy kid in the room, but I still had some friends. Even so, I always noticed that there was something different between me and them, a gap that couldn't be filled. Although they always acted nice with me alone, they always made(and still make) fun of me in public (in front of their own friends), calling me names, telling me how useless I am and in general trying to lower me to make themselves look all mighty. I realized that they were using me from just a few months, and I don't have a clue of what to do now, and learning that no one cares or ever cared about me it's devastating. I finally said it.

>>38706014
What, so you're actually a brit? Good job anyway

>>38706034
meds dude. s2g

>>38706054
I have been taking meds for years

>>38706036
i dream about her a lot
waking up from that is unimaginably hard

>>38706041
>>38706048
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1vS3pOCKb4p

>>38706043
good job for sharing! i think that's a more common experience than you'd think. A lot of people would say that you'll eventually find friends that actually care, but that's not always true. If you can, try to get used to being "lonely"/ it's really not that bad

I'm a 30 year old skinny Chinese manlet low-tier wagecuck living paycheck to paycheck. My bank account barely had $5,000 in it and year after year circumstances make it so I can never break above that number. Tell me in concrete applicable how I can find gf. None of this just b urself sweetie horseshit. Protip: you can't.

>>38706068
which ones? try switching, or upping your dose. shitty advice i know but it's what "worked" for me

>>38706116
-lower your standards
-learn an attractive skill (languages, sports, w/e)
-find a weeb girl
-fake confidence

>>38706131
Trust me I have been on over 20 different meds and have doses that were higher than allowed

>>38706085
American accents sound better, but obviously I'm biased. What's your age, femanon?

>>38706153
Lol that's some real honesty... true as fuck.

kill youself. it would make me feel a lot better and im pretty sure im not alone with this

>broke up with partner of one year this week
>all my friends are in relationships or don't talk to me much anymore
>roommate is in relationship and doesn't have time for me anymore
How do I not be lonely? It's so hard to make friends when you're in your 20s and don't have a core group anymore.

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please delete this thread mods thank you and have a nice day

>>38707107
Do you want some oats friend?

No question but I had a shitty day at work.

cheer me up? I'll help you out sometime