Where did it all go wrong /r9k/? What's the root? Is

4chan, this place, r9k

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>>38703941
>be 13
>shit upbringing, absent father, single mom (which led to me being feminized)
>normie despite of this, good grades, solid group of friends
>discover atheism
>cringy atheist phase over
>start to get into nihilism/existentialism
>dude life is pointless i'll just lay down and die lol
>fall into deep depression
>close to killing myself
>start smoking copious amounts of weed and isolate myself from my normie friends
>start to ditch school
>fast forward
>now 19
>brain is fucked from the weed
>dropped out at 15
>no friends
>former best friend is now literally a world-known celebrity, starred in a major show
>could have had it all.jpg
>more depressed than ever

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>>38703941
>be born in Australia
>my parents move back to poland with me when i'm like 3 weeks old
>spend next 4 years of my life growing up happily there
>parents decide when i'm 5 to move to australia again
>start school with zero english or familiarity of local customs
>get picked on by other kids and have zero friends until i'm in like in year 5
>move in to high school
>could have taken advantage of a fresh start but nope
>nosocialskills.exe
>go through hs with like maybe 2 or 3 not even close friends and never talking to a girl
>year before final year of high school
>close family member dies
>cripplingdepression.jpg
>wind up graduating with marks that were ordinary at best
>now 19, alko NEET piece of shit with no clue about what direction to take with life

>>38704873
damn. that is harsh, man

>>38704873
Sounds like you were a sperg. I'm Aussie and knew about four kids from Europe who came over and knew no English. Ended up being good friends with one of them named Alexander. I think he was Russian. There was also a Yugoslavian kid who came over and knew no English. Another Yugo kid translated for him for ages.

Anyway, point is, kids wouldn't have been mean to you unless there was a reason. What city are you in?

>>38704873
Where you at in Ausland man, I'm pretty similar

>>38704468

If you quit weed and work on your lifestyle a bit, start exercising a bit and learn about diet (it only seems intimidating and complex at first, it's not), you'll completely recover. There aren't permanent effects

Also who's the famous kid? Don't let it get to you, he'll be forgotten in time too.

Everyone will be humbled.

It all went downhill in 2012, few months prior to me dropping out.

>>38705153
this is him. god, i want to fucking kill myself
https://www.instagram.com/marlonlangeland/?hl=en

>>38705074
>>38705098
Melbourne in an orginal way

>>38705191

Don't compare yourself to him, anon. I'm from Australia and I've never heard of him, I suspect he's not very famous outside of your country, and fame can b e very short lived. Even the most famous, well liked and glamorous people come to nothing in the end. If anything he's probably being dragged along into superficiality and emptiness.

Life isn't about having 10,000 likes on Instagram. Work on your own happiness and find value in yourself.

Had overprotective parents that never let me do anything but play Vidya. And they fed me so much I was super obese all through my childhood and got bullied for it

>>38705153
>JUST LIFT HEAVY THINGS BRAHHHHH YOU'LL FEEL BETTER

>>38705302
Thanks for responding. The weird thing is, I don't even want his life and I actually agree with what you're saying. Still, it hurts seeing pictures of him when we used to be close friends, and knowing he is living the good life while I'm rotting away in my room. One other thing that sucks is that since Norway is such a small country, everyone in my city (even potential friends/gf) knows what happened to me and how I live now. I feel like I can't change people's perception of me. I don't even know if i want to at this point, since the people I'd be hanging out with are so fucking vapid.

>>38705331

I didn't say it like that. Anon complained about physiological issues caused by marijuana and there's little evidence of permanent damage from this. I'm encouraging him to attempt to build a healthier lifestyle. Our consciousness is the product of our bodies, so taking care of our bodies is important.

>>38705204
Melbourne is the biggest liberal shithole in this nation and needs to be nuked. How the fuck did you not make friends there?

>>38705365

Ok, and I understand the feeling. This is something you need to work on, it's something anyone needs to work on in life - to learn to appreciate our own judgement and value rather than paying heed to the (often worthless) opinions of people. You're afraid of attempting to build a life because you feel people will in a sense almost feel like you're a fraud, or hat they're anticipating your failure - and you're afraid that if you do fail it'll hurt more because they'll be confirmed in their belief and it'll be a public humiliation.

Just learn this - you can either wait decades to learn, or right now you can work on learning to relish in failing in front of others and getting back up again for your own sake, learn to despise other people's evaluation of you - take feedback and consider its value - but weigh it all up yourself. Embarrassment and failure is better than giving up, and as you grow you'll eventually realise how silly it was to fear failure and disapproval of others anyway.

"Fuck you, only God can judge me"

>>38705373
don't listen to him, anon. i'm the guy you gave the advice to and, as much as a robot like me hates to admit it, it's damn good advice.

>>38705441
Lived in outer suburban bogan areas.
I agree that it needs to be nuked tbqh

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>>38705204
Shit dude I'm near Brisbane.

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>>38703941
>Is it your fault?
Not really no, but I'm not one to place "blame" on anyone in particular, be it myself or others. By the time I discovered the source of my problems I was the better part of a decade past resolving the issue. With every past failure, it seems like the mountain that I'd have to climb gets more and more unassailable.

>raised mostly by single mother
>parents hate each other
>mother is extremely overprotective while also almost entirely unwilling to teach me anything
>had very few friends growing up, and the ones I did have were more like "friends"
>bullied relentlessly at school, basically every other male's punching bag, both literally and figuratively
>started isolating myself
>khv
>I've now been NEET for the past 7 years
I'm full on hiki at this point, and whenever I think about it I just don't feel like this was entirely my choice, in a similar way one doesn't choose to cut a finger off. You technically could, but your brain won't let you.

>>38705443
Thanks for the advice. You pinpointed my problem somewhat. I'll admit that things that seemed really important to me a couple of years ago aren't as important to me today, if at all. I just need to learn how to apply that thinking, I guess.

>>38705481
as a hiki, do you ever get the feeling that "fuck it, this life isn't so bad, i'll just stay this way until i die"?

>>38705559
That's actually how I usually feel, some days the loneliness creeps up on me, but it doesn't last very long.

I used to be a total extraver until some girl in 6th grade asked "who would ever have a crush on anon" I think it literally altered my cognitive fucntions because i used to be fueled by social situations but now i'm 200% genuine introvert who's greatetwish is to be the only person on the planet

>>38705586
Yeah, same. It's the comfiest feeling in the world as well as being the most existential dread-inducing. For me, it is, at least.

>>38705514

All good anon. I know it's one thing to recognise these things abstractly and another to put them into effect, or to avoid getting triggered by incidents which might remind you of various gross inequalities...

One practical tip I can I've you is to keep a self esteem log. Any time you do anything good for standing up for yourself, make sure you write it down so if you get depressed at a future date you'll have this external reminder of what you're capable of. The more times you can genuinely write down "I did X or Y regardless of the anxiety I had about other people judging or looking down me me", the more you'll build on your own strength.

Here's some positive music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiSB2Fbw9gs

>>38705191
>rock lee irl

>>38705671
good song, anon. i like the progressive overload-style of that confidence tracker. this is the song i've been listening to lately, having a much needed laugh at myself and my own situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g8H-7uNWQU

>>38705768
hahahaha, you're right.

>>38705768

How do I get into Naruto?

>>38705768
the worst part is, he used to into naturo before he became a turbo chad

>>38705877
Naruto is a gateway anime of the worst kind. It's a bad series, a clusterfuck of story and characterization that isn't very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive shipping faggotry and DARKNESS. The normal anon can see this as the shit it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the series itself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad.

However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of its core make it a breeding ground for aspie, unsociable underageb& faggots who engage in every kind of faggotry both online and in the real world. The superpowered characters all trying their hardest to look cool, the jutsus, peculiar, colorful clothes, the whole ninja faggotry and everything about the Naruto world fuels their escapist fantasies, while the pity-party character backgrounds, emphasis on revenge, and overall preachiness of the series make it fit just right with the mary-sueish drives of your average preteen and his sense of unwarranted self-importance towards the world. Exactly the kind of shit that makes little kiddies and underagb& retards eat this shit right the fuck up.

Naruto is basically THE series to attract the most hated anime fanbase known to /a/, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every anon to troll the fuck out of this show and everyone who likes it, and ensure that no Naruto threads ever encourage the newfriends to show their faces here..

>>38706010

I did not expect this amazing response. Thank you. Would read your writing again.

4chan is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I've been coming here for almost 10 years now and it has sapped years of my life from me. It has made me bitter and lazy. And yet I'm still here

>>38706132
How fucking new are you? christ

>>38703941
I was drugged. No more, no less. Well, there is more, but that's ultimately the nail in coffin.

>>38704873
Fellow Polak-Australian or just Pole?
Can you describe your face definition, eye colour, eye-lids and cheeks; I don't share any features with Australians and it's likely the odd mix

>>38706158

Oh, I'm not new I've been here since way back in 2016. I've just never seen this copypasta before.

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>parents are 5'3" so manlet
>ugly
>also both muslim immigrants so they never taught me about dating
>they separate and I get raised with a single dad
>actually got some female attention in middle school before everyone got taller than me
>muslim at the time so didn't date any of them or learn how to talk to girls
>eventially become deist, then agnostic, then finally atheist and no one knows
>high school is just the same people as my grade in middle school so no fresh start
>start losing hair at 15 and get more unhappy
>also found 4chan at that age
>thought it was a funny place but it also amplified my insecurity
>eventually /r9k/ is the only place I feel like I belong

Heh..guess I never stood a chance fellows..

>>38706218
Just Polish, Have you ever been? Do you speak Polish?
>squarish elongated face
>bluish-grey eyes
>thin eyelids
>high cheeks

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The only thing that isn't my fault is that I grew up a poorfag, which meant no car, not even a license until 18 because my parents wouldn't pay the insurance for a teenager.
Everything else is my fault though, probably even my bad luck.
>30 now
>no autism
>no disabilities
>no mental illness
>only moderately fat (also entirely my fault - with only a little bit of discipline I could lose 20-30 lbs)
>not ugly
>not manlet
>no depression etc.
>have a degree (in science even, not a meme liberal arts degree)
>130+ IQ
>still poorfag
>still no car
>only part-time work
>khv
>only friends are those that have been my friend since forever
>still don't talk to them
>been on 4chan since I woke up hours ago
>still sitting in my underwear
>will be on 4chan until I go to sleep, even while playing vidya
>not even good at vidya I've been playing for a while (sometimes years)
And the worst part of it is, I don't even want to change my life. Aside from the stress and uncertainty of living paycheck-to-paycheck (seriously, I only have about $65 in the bank right now, and payday is next Friday), my life is pretty comfy. Don't want a gf, don't want to lose my virginity, don't really want a different, more difficult job.

>>38706418
where are you from originally? do you live in the US now?

>>38706682
My parents are Egyptian immigrants but I was born here in New York. My father impregnated my mom while he was in his forties so I guess I was doomed on arrival.

>>38706729
are you decent looking? every arab i know looks like a dog,

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I haven't gone full off the ladder yet. I'll be here I. A couple years on a identical thread, if things go south

>>38706743
My skin is lighter than most arabs and I might look but I'm still a 5'5" manlet with hair thinning at the sides so it doesn't matter

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>>38706612
I'm in your same position with the no car or license thing, and family refuses to help but doesn't want me doing it on my own either. Except I'm 20

Any advice, oldbot?

Life went wrong when highschool ended because I lost that structure I needed.

Too old for the military, also.

>>38706885
What do you want advice for? What are you aiming for?

>>38706581
I don't speak but I have been, Warsaw, Olsztyn, Krakow, Zakopane and smaller towns/villages for family thus I didn't see much
Might go back within the next 2-3 years if the family decides to go
I have the same eyes but proportional face dimensions, high cheek bones but no cheek mass and my eye-lids droop (enough that I consider surgery)

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>>38703941
It went wrong once i hit puberty.
I was a happy handsome little guy and then all th sudden i got uglier and uglier. As i got uglier, i got more bullied and outcasted.
So now, here i am. Drinking with fellow losers.

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>be me, 19 Male
>Grow up with a stable and loving family
>6'1'' Skinny fit long hair cute face friends all call me attractive
>More friends than I know what to do with and they all love having me around
>IQ of 150, never struggled in school, musical genius
>In a band (live shows, drugs, girls)
>Literally have everything going for me
>2017 has been shit and last week I came home and just cried for an hour about how I've never felt so alone even though I surround myself with friends
>still virgin. Feelings of love only confuse me.
>only thing keeping me from blowing my brains out is weed

Yeah I don't know

>>38706986
To learn how to drive and do basic adult things, so I can move on to the real problems, the social ones.

>>38707273
If your parents won't do it, and you're still living at home, get a friend/sibling/cousin to teach you how to drive.
As for the rest, you only really learn by doing. Start with helping your parents around the house, things like laundry, home repair, etc. Eventually though, you'll need to move out. Easiest way is to go away to school, living off student loans so you're not stressed about the weekly-monthly pay cycle, but get a part-time job so you get work experience (this will also help with some social issues). I would suggest getting an associate's degree at your local CC first though, to make uni easier and to ease you and your parents into the "college student" mindset. In time you can upgrade yourself from "totally pathetic loser" to mere "loser" like myself.

>>38707420
I'm 20 now and entering CC. When I transfer at 22 will I be too old to live in dorms?

Also if I take the full time student route will I be living off of the loans?

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Opee here than u for postin my thred and be my fren

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>30 male
>born and live in a dead end country
>tall, skinny, attractive
>smart af, underachiever
>can socialize, but it drains my energies
>have 1 friend irl
>my other friends are far away
>don't know what 30yo do, never meet new people
>falls in luv for my only friend irl
>in limbo for about 4 years now

I'll just wait it out. Patience is my last name by now.

I remember being like 10 years old and this girl from class had a birthday party. She invited everyone form our class except for me and this fat girl. I was being hated since day one, I think we were pretty much born this way.

> Is it your fault?

No matter what happen to you. It's your fault for not dealing with it and getting over it.

>mother was a psychotic crackhead with BPD
>father was a lazy alcoholic who gave up on life after losing his job
>grew up shit poor, emotionally abused by family, bullied relentlessly at every school I went to

I'm actually doing pretty well now that I'm no longer living with one of my parents, I just wish I got my shit together sooner. All I do now is work my ass off to support myself while taking accounting classes, but it's infinitely better than NEET. I'm still an autistic emotional wreck though.

>>38707510
No, but don't live in the dorms, go off-campus.
Also, yes, you will be living off the loans, but you should still get a job.

>>38707076
A similar yet different...view for me as I was growing up. I was happy, clueless, had this idea sense of how the world is supposed to work.

>then get older
>see how people treat and use each other
>see how fake people are to their 'friends' (I'd over a lot in high school.)

I was never really bothered much, but seeing all the hate and lies really fucked up my head growing up. People treating their own family and friends like some expendable good. No honor. No loyalty. (Although of fucking course it's all the roasties really bring this through, seen many 'good' guys do the same to their friends.

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>>38703941
I dropped out of school at 14, bullied+lost friends+depression etc it was my fault cause I'm an idiot but I have sheltering parents.

I've been back in some education, around a year or two (not uni) over the years but neet currently. I'm 22, never had a job, live with parents. I'm getting my hours up for my license so I can drive by myself. Just got on the dole and need to job search or go back into education.

So basically stressful years at school from age 9-14, then I dropped out and lived pretty much stress free 8 years at home but now I'm a inexperienced 22 year old with social anxiety working on car license and trying to get out of the house more.

also
>not manlet
>overweight tho
>I'm a manchild

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>>38704873
lucky fucking bastard
im living in poland
also 19
currently work as a gardener
i make fucking 3.3 usd an hour
basically no perspectives unless i leave this shithole

>Dad lost job when I was in the 7th grade
>Was unemployed for a full year
>Didn't have enough money to pay the bills so lots of debt
>Older brother attempts suicide the year before
>Oldest brother attempts suicide as well the year afterward
>Little money so would go to sleep hungry most nights
>Get depressed and start venting my anger at school
>Get bullied throughout all of high school because I acted autistic as fuck
>KHV because of it
>Things are better with the money now still recovering from all the debt years later
>Think of suicide everyday

>>38703941
Retarded sibling 3 years younger than me took up all the attention of my parents and made them miserable, so I used delusions and numbing coping mechanisms to survive, never grew up into a mentally healthy adult

As cliche as it may sound, when my GF of almost 3 years broke up with me in college. I was just going through the motions. Getting an education, job on the side. Playing the games other people liked, going out to the places that everyone wanted to go to. I wasn't even interested in my degree. I stopped going to classes and quit my job on campus. Eventually I failed out. I lived off what little money I had until I was forced to move back with my parents. I have a little money so I don't know how long I can fool them by claiming I have an online job. They say you should live for yourself, but how does one do that when there's nothing you truly desire?

>>38703941

My single mother. Mainly for the fact that she could barely afford to take care of my sister and I. We moved so much when I was a kid, between two states so my education was fractured and fucked up. The worst was the 4th grade where I went to 3 different schools. This also stunted my social growth. I found it easier to not socialize because I had no idea how long I'd be there. Now I'm a loser that can't into social interaction besides very basic small talk.

It all changed from Primary School to Secondary School.

I had friends, a bunch of them, from school, my neighbourhood (although I lost them when I moved when I was 10) at my Grandmothers (which I also stopped visiting when I hit secondary school) then just

Secondary school happened and I guess everyone matured before me? Then I became a loser on the pretence I was a loser.

Autism. I was fucked from the start. I can still remember feeling completely alienated in kindergarden, thinking "look at all those monkeys running around".

I had some outside influences (late bloomer, bullied, autism, alcoholic parent, divorced parents), but I consider myself to be the ultimate culprit in the case of my failed life.

>>38703941
I got a GameCube with Super Smash Bros when I was 5. Stopped going outside and became a recluse in my parents basement.