Was there a specific event that made you become a robot or were

I have aspergers and dyslexia. I also had an absolutely shocking case of acne from primary school until university, on top of this I started browsing 4chan at the age of 12 in 2006 or 2007, I think it helped make me in to the weirdo I am today.

It was my dad and the only grandmother I knew, two very important people in my life passing away within one month of each other. I wasn't exactly doing great before that but that really did a number on me.

>9th grade
>teacher asks the class if we have any complaints or wishes, anything we want to discuss
>chad raises his hand
>''i think we should stop bullying anon''
>panic, freeze for a couple of seconds
>blurt out ''i-i'm sitting right here'' in the most pathetic beta voice
>''...oh''

The laughing everytime you said something, turning quiet when you entered the room, looking at each other during your presentations. It wasn't my paranoia, it was all real. A real slap in the face finding out you're the biggest joke in class.

>>38699020

being born with autism might be the issue

I've never had any problem fitting in and dont identify as a robot, all I do is apply my obsessive analyzing autie brain to copying normies and they all fall for it, but I have no enjoyment of socializing and only do it when I need to

>First week of first semester freshman year
>English homework is to write a boast about yourself because we're reading Beauwolf and it starts with him boasting about what his name represents
>I hate writing anything about myself so try to come up with the most generic and modest boast I can
>Struggled to even do that
>Realise that I don't even like myself
>Next day we have perform what we wrote n front of the class
>Started out ok but by the end the paper in my hand was visibly shaking and trying to control the shaking made it worse
>Finally finish, extremely embarrassed and quickly walk back to my seat
>Only muffled claps from class full of people I don't know
>Teacher then said to the class, before calling on the next person, "That's okay, See this is why we're practicing now"
>My presentation was so bad all the teacher could say was this is why we're practicing presenting

I didn't even know how to feel, I felt vulnerable and broken and ashamed of my anxiety

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>parents move out of Niggerville, USA so I can go to a good high school
>high school full of preppy, middle-upper class kids
>never wore expensive or stylish clothing

>aggressively bullied
>shunned by everyone
>never developed proper social skills

>>38699020
Slow process.

I never liked some of the stuff that other kids did, but I was friends with most of my classmates. Then my social life was murdered when I transferred to other school and I became a weeaboo in high school, that probably was the point of no return. In college everyone had already a group of friends except for me, so I was just the extra guy that never was invited to anything. I eventually stopped talking to them and never was able to make new friends again. Years passed and now I feel that I'm unable to form a meaningful connection with another human being.

My girlfriend leaving me and taking all my friends with her. You all were right all along

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My dad went overseas to war while I was growing up from 2 to 8
All my s8blings are highly motivated to a degree more then me and spent time outside all the time. But this was because my mom and dad had time.

My dad was gone, my mom was injured from work and was bed ridden for so long. The only thing I was allowed to do was video games, and that's where it really boils down to. While everyone ran outside and used their lungs I sat still and motionless, whole they actually used their brains I sat still and pressed whatever button I was told to press.

It wasn't just video games, I grew up on a military base with kids similar to me. Only some dad's died or mom's cheated and siblings used drugs. The environment went from being the picture of a white bread society to white trash ghetto park in over the course of the war. Kids were emotional and I can't blame some for the awful things they did.
This only made me regress further into video games to cope and to hide from all the 10 year old gangs that would mug each other or some shit.

But being a normalfag is in my blood, I'm torn between trying to develop normie skills as a human and retreating further as a robot into insanity.

>Leave my girlfriend
>My girlfriend is trying to kill herself by saying it's my fault
>Feel guilty
>Start believing that if I made friends I could hurt them like I did to her
>Get away from everyone i know so I don't hurt them

After 4 years of being a robot I'm recovering

>>38699483
Keep up the good fight, son