The coalition of anti-normie and anti-fag militias (CANFAM) has

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>implying
shigger digger

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>>38695046
I'd say you have the speech down. Now go out there and catch some juden.

>>38695046
>What were you arrested for?
It would give away my cover if they arrested everybody else but not me.

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>>38695315
well you were arrested for something! tell me or i'll pull out my /k/ approved luger and end you!

Im straight but have fucked traps and men because I like the power like Machiavelli's "Prince" or Evola's "Man among the ruins"...may I live mr CANFAM??

Im in the Army and ironpilled btw

Feeling in public without a permit, reckless endangerment while in possession of unlicensed feels. I throw myself before the mercy of this totally honest and transparent tribunal.

>>38695046
Me? I am only a simple scholar, my friend. I was only debating idiots who believe on delusion and lies.

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>>38695509
you will be sent to the camps and mutilated

>>38695541
nein, in this new /r9k/ you are free to feel whatever you want. We promote abstract feels.

>>38695546
*looks closer* scholar in what?

>>38695639
The sciences, mein freud. I was debating several flat earthers! I am not gay! Specifically astrophysics, but I know a bit in most fields.

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>>38695046
I don't know.
You see, I myself was fighting off traps on the front...
But I asked a fembot for her Discord once.
Could that be it?

>>38695665
carry on.

>>38695686
you lost control of yourself, steadfast! And don't let it happen again.

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>>38695709
Yes sir.
I won't talk to a roastie ever again, unless it is to make more babies for the Aryan race.

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>>38695639
>in this new /r9k/ you are free to feel whatever you want.

Truly a golden age. One which will last a thousand years. Sieg feels.

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*sips milkshake*

>>38695709
Yes, mein freud. They were being total blockheads, denying simple facts. Not to mention they were so up in their heads with their zealotry and delusion that they denied most sciences, as someone who loves the sciences, it truly did churn my blood. If you want to ask about my ethnicity or religion, I am from asia and I am atheist.

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>>38695767
*nervously tips fedora*

>>38695046
>What were you arrested for?
Possession of several hundred high resolution photographs of girl anus.

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>>38695840
*pulls out /k/ approved luger and shoots you*

*sips milksha-*

bartender wojakstein! i need another milkshake!

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>>38695846
*leans in* was it a (female) girl?

>>38695789
Is that all you need commissar?

>>38695732
what anime this girl from gonna get my neice into it

>>38695909
Of course, the vagina is visible in all the pictures!

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i dont know. what was i arrested for?

But... I really must say, the science denial policies of you militias are... concerning, my friend.

I jerked off while thinking about a guy when I was seventeen,

how'd you fucking know.

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>>38695951
yuk, but ok i guess

BUT VWAIT

i have one more test for you.

no normie can resist THIS! *turns on jukebox*
https://youtu.be/fyaI4-5849w

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>>38695980
PROBABLY BEING A THOT!
Get out girly!

*Hands the kind Nazi man another milkshake.*

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>>38696011
im not a girl, though.
that means i can stay right

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>>38696008
I DUNNO IF YOU COULD TAKE IT!

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>>38696026
No. You're far too smug for this place.

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>>38696051
how about now, barkeep

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>>38696037
EXTERMINATE HIM EXTERMINATE HIM EXTERMINATE HIM ! *sips milkshake* let him have it, helper pepe!

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>>38696066
Well, those are some fine digits.
I suppose you can stay. Just order something... and don't scare the customers off.

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>>38696072
yesm sir, i got dis normee
*unsheathes katana*

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>>38696092
i'll have some bubble tea
is this secretly a feels and frog thread?

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>>38696115
Now, *sips milkshake* who's next? *sips milkshake*

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>>38696141
NO! this is a thread to weed out those pesky normies and degererates. as a fatbro i'm tired of my threads always getting archieved with only 2 replys. i'm all for this movement

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>>38696196
what kind of threads are you making?

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>>38696141
I'm afraid we don't sell that here.
But, to make it up... I'll give you some iced tea.
On the house. *winks*

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>>38696148
tell mi ef u see anymor, boss man

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>>38696213
why fat threads of course, your question only proves my point. GODDAMNIT WHERE ARE MY FATBROS AT. FUUUUUUK

>tfw ordered a large pizza from pizza ht and a cookie cake to test my willpower but ate it all

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>>38696223
*gives it back*
i hate iced tea

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>>38696092
>>38696066
>>38696051
>>38696026
>>38695980

I *sips milkshake* AM THE ONLY ONE *sips milkshake* WHO WILL BE *sips milkshake* DECIDING ON WHO *sips milkshake* WILL*sips milkshake* BE PUNISHED *sips milksha-* NOT AGAIN, BARTENER WOJAKSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN I NEED ANOTHER MAKE IT SNAPY!

Well them commissar, I presume that hopefully my case is settled.
>>38696223
Oh yes, a fine brew. Coffee. Black. Could I also have a croissant?

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>>38696287
I was kind enough to allow you to stay in my establishment and this is how you repay me? Hmph!

>>38696308
Yes sir. *hands another milkshake*
Might I suggest disposing of that angry looking individual who refused my polite gestures?

>>38696344
Here you are, my honorary friend. *gives him his order*
Nice digits.

>>38696365
So then. Do you know of the many ways that the universe can kill us! Well, the universe and even our homeworld is an uncaring mistress, my friend. Here, check my newest paper.
Also, keep all the drinks ordered from now on, in my tab.

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>>38696365
zank you. Now. who was i mad at again?

>>38695046
I was arrested for harboring thoughts of being trans/a trap and being a nice housewife/concubine to some nice /pol/lack.

>>38696413
Oh, I believe it was this one... *points* >>38696287
>>38696386
Hm. Lemme see that. I'm not a science man myself, but that's a mighty scary thought.

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>>38696365
i dont care if the iced tea was free, im not drinking it

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>>38696441
Hush now. I think the kind man in uniform will resolve this soon enough.
*pats on head*

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>>38696424
hmm, you face extermination! HELPER PEPE!

>>38696436

>>38696441
zat must be you! heres a ticket for violating section /b/ paragraph 8 of the new legislation of excessive anime and avatar posting, have a nice day!

>>38696492
>you face extermination!
Wait mien Fuhrer, I surely can be rehabilitated? After all, I haven't acted on these thoughts!

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>>38696492
>>38696509
i got em boss! shoo out! *whacks with hammer* rooo!

>>38696492
Mein Kommissar, as the chief spokesperson for the r9k Scholars Association, we must address severe science denial and extreme idiocy on r9k.

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>>38696468
>>38696492
but i didnt do anything!!! the barkeeper is just being mean

>>38696527
No stop! I can help root out the other degenerates! Despite my moment of weakness I am ready to serve the cause!

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>>38696541
zen just educate them with your shiny bright enlightenment. We will be holding education/redpill/black pilling threads twice every week. They will serve as a reminder to stay mentally sharp

>>38696548
ach! HAVE. A . NICE. DAY now leave b4 the helper helps you to your casket.

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>>38696548
>>38696588
Mean you say? Maybe I'll ju-
Sir! How about another milkshake on the house? Those are some nice Hitler dubs.
Just ignore the weeb, perhaps they can stay.

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>>38696588
*throws iced tea on you*
jerk

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>>38696558
>>38696588
wut do u say boss man? i wanna hit them with hammur

>>38696548
shoo!

>>38696605
zank you, *sips milkshake*

>>38696618
I CAN'T FUCKING *sips milkshake* ICH BEIN TAKE THESE *sips milkshake* FUCKING *sips milkshake* ANIME POS*sips milkshake* *sips milkshake* *sips milkshake* this is actually very good. OH YES, HELPER PEPE! DISPATCH THIS INSUFFERABLE SCHWEINHUND!

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>>38696666
Vait, i forgot mein image. i am not feeling so well. *sips milkshake*

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>>38696666
Sir! No need!
Look at those quads... Let the weeb stay in my bar, I'll control them.

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>>38696666
oki

>>38696618
>>38696558
*unsheathes gladius*
prepar to die, u cartoon luvr n' tranee

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>>38696701
NEIN, ANOTHER ANOTHER MILKSHAKE HE/SHE/IT HAS VIOLATED TOO MANY RULES, HELPER PEPE KILL IT AND THIS FAG>>38696558

>>38696701
Let us say that a round of drinks, on my tab. Now, I seek to educate. the populace of r9k, and a toast to all of us, Wojakstein! Oi, I will keep two more rounds of drinks on my tab, for the Big Bang, and the stars which created us.

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>>38696740
I'll deal with them myself...
Oh! Looks like we're out of milkshakes. Guess you must look elsewhere.

>>38696766
Nice dubs. What an amazing thing it must have been, eh?

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>>38696735
Oh no! Stay back or I shoot!

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>>38696735
wait! put that away!!
i'll just leave

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>>38696790
i think i've had enough for today as you can see i am fatshweind

>>38696795
shoots you 4our times in the back with luger. schweinhund.

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>>38696740
>>38696795
i wuld, mista sir
but i saw dis capcha and dey hav a gun

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>>38696821
>>38696795
>>38696824

D-don't shoot my customers!
You killed her! ;_;

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>>38696821
dead people don't speak! you will pay for your arrogence! *shoots you in ze dome*

>>38696828
*pulls you closer* are you retarded? i just killed it now get back to guarding or i'll drink your strawberry blood.

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>>38696824
No... Animeposter, I tried. Run out of the bar while you can!

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>>38695046
BECAUSE THE MAYNSTREAM MEETEAH ARE A BUNCH OF FOOKIN MORONS WHO, EMAJUHN MY SHAHK, ARE TRYING TO USHER IN DEGENERACY WHILE DENYING THE FACT THAT WE ARE THE REAL COUNTER CULTCHA.

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>>38696862
*punches you before you can shoot the weeb*
Run!

>>38696868
>pulls out gun
I am no lover of these militias, but, I remember you being that science denier!
>unloads entire clip into the weeb
Very well then, more drinks for everyone. On my tabs.

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>>38696862
yesh sir
i just got destractud

>>38696891
*slaps back*

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I CANT FIND THE EXIT

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>>38696891
*loads rifle*

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>>38696913
>>38696935
*gasps*
It is too late...

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>>38696916
*steps on his chest and shoots him* all zis murdering has made me quite fit again.

>>38696935
oh seig hell no! i am out of ammunition, calling /pol/ for backup! helper pepe get that untermench!

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>>38696935
Run out the back!

>>38696938
My death would bring me fulfillment.
How about another milkshake instead?
*Nervously hands milkshake.*

>>38696916
*glares*

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>>38696968
Agh! *cough*
Y-You shot me! *cough* I l-love you... anime poster.

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>>38696968
>>38696935
cum bak here
*tries to lasso the weeb*

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>>38696970
*grabs milkshake* zey are all dead now. it is only me. you and that helper of a pepe.

>>38697004
I love my job. *curb stomps you*

>>38697027
*laughs* i could watch this all day!

What game is this all from?

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are you guys still open?

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>>38697040
*busts in* what happened?! i heard shots!

>>38697040
Y-You don't understand... *cough*... do you?
I a-am the bartender. I punched *cough* y-you.

I s-see a light. *slowly bleeding out*

>>38697080
No. Fuck off.

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Hey guys, what's going on in this cafe?

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>>38697040
wer is the weeb?
i am tangle up and no see him or hurr
oopsie ser

I occasionally go on Reddit sir. But mein guter soldat, I only go on Paradox games related subs and only for news.

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>>38697092
I showed them who's the ubermench

>>38697109
the /pol/ army has the block surrounded. they will get that faggot

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>>38697156
Hold up, why are there dead bodies all over. Drop your weapon and answer me faggot!

>>38697156
dear god! is everyone fucking dead!

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>>38697167
Shoot... h-him!

>>38697156
Y-You monster... you'll n-never catch my... love.
*Eyes close*

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>>38697167
*takes off SS officer hat* *breaks cheesy accent* oh man, uh i go on this website called 4chan *shits pants* and uh uh uhhhhhhhhhh *spills spaghetti* ILL GET THAT *slips in spaghetti*. w-what are you going to do with me, officer?

>>38697217
It was a LARP within a LARP?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhhQhqi_AE

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>>38697200
Holy shit, we got a live one!
*bzzzt*
We need medical personnel to the comfy cafe right now! There are bodies everywhere!
*bzztz*
>>38697217
Lay down on the ground and put your hands behind your back!

>>38697109
You! Stand back and put your hands on the wall.

>>38697245
*calls safety squad back-up* god dammit this was supposed to be my day off!

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>>38697245
im sowwi sir! i cannut do dat!
*pulls out gun and begins wildly shooting around the cafe*
i'll save u ser

This escalated far quicker than I expected

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>>38697245
... J-Just tell me my w-waifu... will mak- *falls silent*

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>>38697273
*snaps cuffs on*
Now answer my ques-
>>38697305
Get fucked dirtbag!
*returns fire*

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>>38697305
NO SHOOT ME I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL NO TENDIES, NO MILKSHAKE END MY GODDMAMNED LIFE, HELPER WE'LL MAKE IT TO VALHALLA

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>>38697336
I came in just before you, I swear!

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>>38697363
i-if dats wut u wish s-sir *sniffles and shoots at him multiple times before hitting him*

>>38697336
*empties rest of magazine in indiscriminate directions*
joke on u mista coppuh!
i got dis too! *throws hammer at him*

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>>38697406
*choking on blood* no, you idiot your, *cough* supposed to kill yourself so we could both make it. *cough* to *smiles and coughs up blood* Valhalla *dies*

>>38695046

Well, they TRIED to arrest me for being a 'normie' violating your safe space; but it turned out (much to their embarrassment) that they couldn't actually do anything about it.

>>38697399
>>38697363
*drags you behind a overturned table*
*reloads pistol*
*bzzzt*
We have an active shooter at the comfy cafe, requesting immediate backup.
*bzzzt*
>>38697406
*grabs hammer*
Call off your retarded dog now or else I'm going to break your fucking hands you god damn Nazi!

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>>38697466
>>38697462
God damn it!
>>38697406
Frogman, put down your weapon and this will all be over!

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>>38697462
oopsie
sowwi ser

>>38697485
>>38697466
checkem
*spins propeller on hat and begins wildly flying around the cafe*

>>38697466
I told you god dammit I'm not with him I'm with the safety squads! oh god!

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>>38697502
Chad: Minion, get that loser frog!

minion: BANNANA! *charges*

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>>38697502
I'm getting too old for this shit!
*shoots the propeller hat off your head*

>>38697516
Sir, get on the floor and stay out of the way! One this tard calms down we'll sort everything out.

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>>38695046
>IMPLYING
like you butthurt pseudo-robots could do shit except larp on discord
Gays have always been on /r9k/ and we arent going anywhere

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>>38697582
>>38697574
owie
oh look, nazi man pack anuddah gun
fun gun fun gun fun gun!

im sheruff noa! *fires at cop and minion*

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>>38697609
Miss, er uh... sir? I have to ask you to please get down while we resolve the situation.

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>>38697627
>>38697582
*crying tears of safety*

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>>38697627
Oh god, you frog fuck you hit me!
*bzzzt*
Officer down at the comfy cafe! I repeat, Officer down!
*bzzzt*
Where's my backup god dammit!

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>>38697627
why does this post make me sad? could it be that the under developed helper dosen't even know his pal is dead? could it be just how poor the helper trully is that he dosen't even understand the reality of the situation? could it be what drove that milkshake nazi to kill? could it be the loss of the other innocent lives?

this is quiet the feel.

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>>38697609
*blows fags head off*
bang! see u space cowboi!

*ducks behind the cafe bar* were r u ser? i kill coppuh almos!

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>>38697730
>that mercer reference.

damn, there are so many /r9k/ references in this thread that not even most /r9k/ users know of. i could only imagine what a normie would think going through this thread.

>>38697698
It'll be over soon anon.
This is an emotional play.

>>38695046
Probably for being a filthy red

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>>38697770
It's from Cowboy Bebop. Mercer just made a spinoff of the same quote.

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>>38697730
I'm not dying yet asshole. Why don't you just come on out now before my backup shows up and gives the cafe the Dorner treatment?
*looks around*
Where is my fucking doughnut!

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>>38697851
ur donut is write here!
*jumps out from behind the counter and begins walking towards the cop, firing*
gun fun gun fun gun fun!

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>>38697907
*gets hit in the shoulder*
I ain't dying here today, no way.
*returns fire and hits you in the leg*
Stand down now! It's all over!

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>>38697959
*falls on face, crying and whimpering*
y u do dat coppuh!?
where is mista nazi at! u give him bak or i w-will get him muself! *tries to frantically fire back* minun and trannee already left dis wurld

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>>38698012
*stays behind the table*
Hold your fire and listen. I'll give you your nazi friend back if you put the gun down and stop shooting! I have him right here and he wants you to comply. He's not doing too well, if this doesn't stop now I don't think he will make it.

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>>38698042
oh... nazi fwend hert? y?
u hert him?

*pauses*

if he want tho *drops gun*

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>>38698075
Remember? You shot him and threw a hammer at him? But it's okay, we'll get him to the hospital and it will all be okay.
*slides over handcuffs*
Not just put those on your wrists nice and tight and I'll let you see him.

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>>38698105
*is very dead*

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>>38698105
i did wut? o-oh he happy tho i just help him
he wantud me too

*puts handcuff on one wrist, but can't figure out how to put it on the other*

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>>38698153
*hears the click of the handcuff*
*shoots pepper spray in your face*
Let me help you get that other cuff.
*lunges over and restrains you*

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>>38698208
*begins whimpering and crying more*
my eyes bern!
i cant see nazi m-man with bern eye! *squirms* rooo!

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>>38698234
*sirens pull up outside the cafe*
*puts on the other cuff*
I lied. Your nazi friend is dead and you're going to pound town for the rest of your life. Any last words before you never see the sun again?

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>>38695046
It definitely wasn't because I am a normie but if the group considers inflation fetihses and teratophilia degenerate then that is the case

>>38698268
>implying he wouldn't get off scot free after pleaing insanity because he obviously has autism and his NEETbux wouldn't increase tenfold

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>>38698268
b-but u promise i see him a-again! *tears stream down face*
at least he in valmalla he alwus wanted t-to go
i jus wunted to pl-play /pol/ with big brudder
i dindu nuffin

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Alex Jones here on the scene chuggin' a big bowl of texas chili to show muh testosterone. Witnesses say a nazi h-had some type of glock a-a-and was just shooting up the entire place! Well i'll tell you what. If these teenage losers don't stop posting on their chans, well THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS *rips off shirt* *looks into camera concerningly* parents you go-gotta watch your kids okay, or else this shit'll happen. Alex jones signing out.

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>>38698375
a beautiful way to end it

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SAGE OR DERAIL THIS FUCKING "Fembot Feels" THREAD
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
>>38698391

>>38695046
i'm a nazbol
i hope the robot thinks this is an original comment

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>>38698375
>have lame ending I typed up
>see this post
Thanks for that anon, that's a fitting end.

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We should have more threads like this. Well done anons

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>>38698509
mabye if you stopped posting your damn trap and fembot threads, faggot.

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>>38695046
I was being arrested for being a pathetic virgin cuck beta overweight circumcised loser who jerks it to anime. What is my punishment?

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>>38695509
>I'm straight
>But I fucked men

BURN THIS FUCKING HERETIC

Some of my shitposts may have been a little too subtle to be immediately recognisable . But I have never once forgotten to sage a shit thread.