>wake up >my phones going off >friend texted me asking

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>wake up
>my phones going off
>friend texted me asking if i want to go out with him to some guys party
>decide to since i was free anyway

>at the party
>chatting and drinking as usual
>see a cute girl across the way
>combination of vodka and nicotine convince me to go talk to her

>shes really cute up close
>short black hair with a light purple highlight
>wearing a baggy jumper and a short skirt
>glasses too
>literally couldnt think of a better combo
>start to hit it off pretty well
>share a lot of the same hobbies and interests too
>end up hooking up and heading over to her place
>hook up again a couple times after
>start dating
>shared our first times
>went everywhere with her
>didnt want to be anywhere else but by her side
>move into an apartment with her
>had to get a new job to afford but i didnt mind
>everything goes well for a year or two
>even get promoted once or twice so i can shower her with the gifts she deserves
>decide im gonna do it
>buy the ring
>reserve the table and prepare my lines
>time comes round and i can barely breathe
>finally scramble the words together
>"will you marry me?"
>she stares me dead in the eyes for at least 15 seconds
>at that point i just wanted any answer and for this wait to be over

>actually wake up
>slept with face on toilet
>empty bottles of vodka and several pill bottles too
>vomit all over my clothes and the floor
>the stench makes me vomit again but its just bile
>head feels like ive been impaled
>go into bedroom
>find a suicide note i wrote

>tried to an hero
>failed
>in my semi dead haze i imagined the good life i never had
Why do i have to be taunted like this