late night feels thread. I want to die anons, make me cry

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>>38632594
1/4

Sent from my Ipod

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2/4

Sent originally from my Ipod

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3/4

Sent from my IPhone 5

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4/4

This is the last one

Sent from my Ipod

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>>38632594
Hey guys I'm anon and I want to die. My life has gone down the shitter and I feel trapped. I feel completely alone and I'm a burden on my family. I can't kill myself because they actually love me and I could never hurt them.

What do?

>>38633175
Stay strong anon, it's the only thing we can do

Can I tell a story?

>shy girl in high school gets crush on my friend
>my friend is a chad piece of shit
>I am not
>chad shit stain friend decides shy girl is decent looking enough to fuck with
>he fucks with her
>he actually turns out to like her
>but he's still a chad piece of shit and his ape hormones control him
>he has a thing for humiliating women
>has a thing for "almost rape"
>shy girl was a virgin before him
>shy girl is painfully shy and has no friend
>chad friend wants me to fuck her
>I am a virgin
>I really, really wanna fuck a girl
>literally any girl
>but what the fuck is your problem
>"I wanna see how she feels"
>what the fuck does that mean you literal psychopath
>"I wanna see her face, I wanna see how dirty it makes her feel"
>really don't want to
>but I want to get laid
>he says she's okay with it since he wants her to do it
>against my better judgement, go over to his house
>we're all three in the basement
>turns out she didn't even know about this plan
>watching chad friend trying to coerce her like some machiavellian fucking cunt
>she's visibly uncomfortable
>I probably am too
>he starts undressing her
>she doesn't stop him
>never seen a real live tit before, myself
>reluctant boner.avi
>naked shy girl silently crying in chad's basement while beta faggot tries not to have a horrible shame boner and chad smiles like a fucking psychopath
>alright
>too much
>conscious takes control
>tell chad this is fucked and I'm not participating
>chad pulls a god damn knife out
>"See I thought you might say that, faggot. You're gonna fuck this pig, and I'm gonna watch. And then you're gonna suck my dick."
>what
>"Not you, her."
>me and shy girl are both scared now
>he tells us to do it doggy style
>I'm facing my now former best friend while I rape a crying girl
>my first time was all kinds of rape

I dropped out of school
I was scared she would call the police, but she didn't
She killed herself two years later
I think about that too sometimes

>>38633493
Damn man... that's fucked.
Holy fuck. And i thought i was fucked

>>38633493
That's fucked up, but I can't stop myself from chuckling.

>>38633493

What happend to Chad?

>>38633529
Everyone's fucked in their own way, don't downplay your own shit because someone else has shit too

>>38633531
pls

>>38633606
Went on to fuck more girls
I think he does something with computers now
I didn't go to shygirl's funeral, but he did
I know because he posted pictures on fucking facebook
I know it was years later, but that shit is our fucking fault
And this fucking cunt has the audacity
He's probably genuinely a sociopath or something
The day it happened, I honestly thought it was a one off thing, like temporary insanity or something, but he never apologized, he acted like nothing was wrong.
I've never told anyone because I'm a piece of shit too and I don't want to go to jail.
He's probably done it to other girls.

>>38633642

Some people huh. Strange, cruel world we live in

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>>38633493
>anons face when

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>narcissistic mom
>that realization that she tricked you into hating your own brother your whole life
>that realization that the times she showed you love it was out of pure convenience on her part
>that realization that she used you as an emotional dumping ground during your formative years which is likely the cause of your current emotional repression and social isolation and generally feeling like a plastic mannequin
>that realization of all the little things she says and does to guilt you over not being an ideal son
>that realization of the harm she made you do to your siblings
>that realization that you can never change a narcissist because they literally lack the ability of self-reflection
>that realization that you never truly had a mom and you never will

Im actually surprisingly close to suicide at the moment

>>38633814
You should fucking smack her bro.
Not even kidding. Sounds like a bitch that deserves whatever comes to her

>>38633839
It's worthless. You cannot change a narcissist, just like you cannot stop the tectonic plates from creating mountains. Nothing you can do will ever force a narcissist from feeling remorse for their actions, you have to wait until they spontaneously feel the need to reflect on their own and expand upon it with them (it happens sometimes, it happened once with my oldest brother who got a far worse treatment from her than me growing up, apparently they talked and she cried but nothing much ever came of it).

I think thats the part that hurts the most. I dont want revenge, i dont want to make her suffer, i just want to know what genuine unconditional motherly love and TRUST truly feels like. But i never will. Ill figure out a way to carry on somehow.

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>>38633888
Bruh this is too real for me. Trips of tragedy. I wish you the best of luck anon