At what age did you realize you were the bad guy? >unattractive

>>38605769
When I started doing bad shit, and doing things I knew would hurt the people closest to me, just because Im selfish.

>>38605769
Um, yeah, I agree, I am the blight of human society. But uhh... guys, I can lick my feet and I didn't even know it until this post.

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I don't believe I'm the bad guy, I also don't believe I'm the good guy

>>38605769
so much self pity, don't be so melodramatic

>>38605831
I can't help it. Everyone will always hate you for being different. Why would you even deny it.

If anything it's empowering because you stop living for the acceptance of others.

>>38605799
boast pic
blease need to see this

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>>38605822
>>38605793
Accept your fate. Normies will never look past first appearances. Take what is your's by any means.

Sometime in my infant years my parents were able to get in to some kind of now defunct college fund program (ended up costing too much for the state). Anyways, this meant that by the time I was 10 years old my college was already completely payed for. My parents, who have done well for themselves but come from lower working class backgrounds saw this as a huge accomplishment and security for me and my future. However, once it was realized that I was a precocious little shit, my mother always used to mention that in the case of me getting some kind of scholarship, we could transfer that college fund to be used by my cousin, who was just a couple years younger than me.

Now as the years went by, my cousin's life got harder and harder. Her father left the family, and she had a troubled younger sister that her and her mother were left to care for. Likely due to these hardships, she struggled in school, but worked very hard and stayed strong through it all.

Meanwhile, I stay a relatively privileged only child, coasting my way through high school with 0 responsibilities whatsoever. By graduation, due to slacking off a bit during my last two years, I was just barely able to get into the university that I always considered to be my "backup". Meanwhile, even with my slacking I was offered sizable scholarships to other more than decent enough schools. Though I didn't even particularly like the other one, it was just ever so slightly more respected than these other more economically feasible ones, so I decided to attend it as to not hurt my ego, but of course having to use the college fund.

Fastforward a few years, and I'm soon to start my senior year, making mediocre grades, in a relatively easy yet largely useless major. I've made nothing of my time here, and go about my days almost begrudgingly. Meanwhile, my cousin is working multiple jobs to put herself through community college.

tl;dr in next post

>>38605994
I don't want to get bampersand, you goose 3:< Besides, taking pictures of yourself steals a bit of your sole every time you do it, and I'm just starting to get to know them *thinks is funny*

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Yeah, well, as Tricky Dick III says in the play, "And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain." They want to cast us as monsters in their play, I'll play the role with gusto.

>>38606110 (cont.)

She even refuted any efforts to get her to a normal university, knowing of the financial strain and with the intention of being able to further aide her family.

I just realized last week that if I would have just taken the scholarship offers her life could be completely different. She could have had a real college experience, that she would have certainly put to good use, all while imparting little stress on her family. And I just realized this like a few weeks ago.

Of course this is just one longwinded example, but yeah. I am more or less a piece of garbage. I deserve to rot, and am already on my way to doing exactly that.

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I just wanted to feel different. everyone wants to be the hero

>>38606180
*refused

>>38605769
>>unattractive
>>mentally ill
>>destructive lifestyle
that doesnt make you a bad guy. hurting others makes you a bad guy. when you hurt yourself it just means you need help.

>>38605769
Of course I'm the bad guy. I have nearly non-existent morals, I have very little empathy, and I crave power.
Plus I always relate the antagonists of shows and movies more so than the heroes, so there's the final nail on the coffin.

>>38606180
You didn't even intend to fuck her over, stop being such a fucking baby jesus christ

>>38606238
What if I do both, but see hurting others as a means of hurting myself too (perpetual loneliness because I "deserve" it)?

Well at least your realize why.
It's nice to think girls don't like you because you're a loser or unattractive, but guys like that still get girls.
But nobody wants to be someone's therapist. There's fucking limits.

>>38606273
Doesn't matter, I still did. I know I'm a whiny piece of garbage. That's the whole point, I was so involved in my own petty shit that I didn't realize how it was affecting others, even a member of my own family that I grew up with.

>>38606335
>extremely close friend is always telling me what I should be doing in
>always telling why I shouldnt being doing this or that of whatever I'm currently doing
>gets upset when i live my own life and dont conform to his vision of what my life could be like
>starts trying to change my personality
>once he realizes its not working he starts talking to me less and less
>eventually we just stop talking

Therapist friends are clingy as fuck, you don't want one. They just make you feel like constant shit because they're always comparing they're successes with your failures, and if you do anything other than what they suggest they will ghost you for weeks

>>38606374
Then you might as well just start thinking about everyone in your life because you more than likely fucked more people than just her, but you don't feels sad for them
get over it and move on

>>38606407
>you more than likely fucked more people than just her, but you don't feels sad for them
That's my entire point. I'm a selfish douche that can't offer much of anything to anyone.

You can't really move on from that.

>>38605769
I have a sadistic side, I like watching people suffer. That might make me questionable, since I do not like doing so unless it comes down to it (or if it's a video game, which doesn't count).
If having what all you listed were enough to make us bad guys, we would all be dead or incarcerated since we are evil. We're just not able to adapt to a society that conflicts with our values too much.
Honestly? I just want to do something for a living, live alone in peace, and die in peace. If anything normalfags and their lack of empathy is "evil" to us. I don't even explicitly get angry or throw shit in normal folks' faces and they'll still find something to gripe about. It's atrocious behavior for an adult.
Let's face it, children are cruel, and normal people are the world's biggest children.

>>38606482
You can, you just become far less humane.
It's a matter of acceptance, that your joy is the product of others' misery. It is far more disgraceful of you not to take advantage of that joy to its fullest. It's like being handed a free meal and refusing to eat it. If nothing else, you can at least chew through the tears.

>>38606482
You can, because everyone does it to everyone, your case ins't special.
Humanity is all about fucking shit up, and people will always fuck you just as you fuck them.

Recently, I imagined that God doesn't necessarily look down on the murderers, as everyone goes to Heaven anyway, but what he'd really look down on is an individual who was given the chance to be whatever he wanted, but threw all his opportunity away to hate himself.

>>38606482
You're getting mad at yourself for being a human lmao