"Come on now, Champ. You can't stay in the nest forever.

>>38587106
the only place you're going to get hired for handshaking skills is gay porn Xp

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>>38587129
"Champ, you can't pin your problems on other people forever. Now wipe that frown off your face. We're gonna find you a job, and we're not turning back until someone hires you on the spot. It's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, looking him in the eye, and giving him a firm handshake."

>>38587106
i have an interview today at kfc. what should i say?

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>>38587218
"It's as easy as walking in there, speaking with the interviewer, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Simple as that, Champ."

>>38587165
are you saying I should sexually assault a manager for a job

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>>38587247
"I'm saying that you walk in there, speak with the manager, and give him a firm handshake, Champ. FIRM. I didn't raise a quitter."

Why do you make these threads? Can you at least offer a real discussion on how to convince your parents that logic is bullshit, or maybe even actual methods for getting a job?
Dads like this exist. We get it. Stop forcing this meme.

>>38587268
do I shake his dick or his hand? Do I just shake my hand at him? Can I give him a fist bump instead

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>>38587279
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame other people for your problems, or you could man up and dig yourself out of this mess you've gotten yourself into. And it's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. Four simple steps, Champ!"

>>38587279
>how to convince your parents that logic is bullshit
It really isn't bullshit though. Applying online is a black hole and you'd be lucky if 1 out of 100 applications were even looked at by HR. Most HR don't even look at online submissions, they just hire internally or look at their own networks.
Only way to mitigate this is the old fashioned way of going in, asking for the manager, personally handing him your resume and telling him why you're the "right man" for the job. Sure, he might tell you to apply online and that he doesn't accept resumes, but you have nothing to lose in trying.
You can even tell him that he can try you out for 2 weeks no pay. My friend did this and got a job as a mech engi.

>>38587106
this meme is beyond tired and was never funny to start with so hang it up asshole

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>>38587383
"Chaaaaaamp, I know you're bummed about taking time out of your adventures on that Mongolian knitting E-World collective. But working is part of growing up. And finding a job is as easy as walking in there, speaking with the manager in there, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there."

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"You send out job applications like a man who wants to work. Admirable, but you're still going to speak with the manager and give him a firm handshake, Champ."

>>38587106
That's it that's the spirit I wish I had you about to motivate my sorry behind even if you are a fictional character I know the key is getting my GED/HIset/tasc I'm currently going nowhere in life at the moment

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>>38587658
"Persistence pays off. Just take it one step and one handshake at a time, Champ. You've got this."

>>38587106
I finally got the job great advice!
this unironically worked[/spolier]

This shitty fucking meme actually inspired me to walk into my local bookstore and hand in my resume AND GIVE THE GUY A HANDSHAKE.

I just put my hand out and he shook my hand. It was a bit homosexual, not a lot of firmness, but fuck this shit board because now I've been E-mailed saying I can start work on Friday.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a wageslave.

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>>38587890
The handshake grip tightens.

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>>38587947
Yee-hah! Great job, Champ.

>I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a wageslave
Champ, nothing that you can't fix by pulling yourself up by the bootstraps

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>>38587373
>>38587890
>>38587947
What the fuck? It actually works? A meme with good advice?

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>>38588067
"Great advice? You betcha, Champ. And it's as easy as walking in there, speaking with the manager in there, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there."

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>>38587106
I wish I had a dad like you.

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>>38588346
I know, right? At least he'd be around for any decent length of time.

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>>38588346
Indeed...

*walks away*

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>>38588430
It doesn't matter where the meme originated; what matters is the firmness of your handshake.

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>>38587106
"I can just get a handshake online, dad"

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>>38588497
"Excuses, procrastination, and online applications, powerful agents to the uninitiated. But you're going to show up there in person, speak with the manager, and give him a firm handshake, Champ."

>>38587106
that's great dad

but could i please get a hug from you for a change, instead of the usual handshakes

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>>38588525
"Only after you've gotten the job, Champ. Remember what I told you: Speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Can't get any simpler than that."

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>>38588366
He's a good dad who gives a shit. His confidence is contagious. Even when you yourself have given up on yourself, he hasn't. He believes in you when you don't. He's a hopeless normie, but of a good kind who genuinely cares about your problems even if he doesn't fully understand them, he wants nothing more than for your life to get better. He doesn't get mad at you for being who you are, he's not ashamed of his son and will not hesitate to fucking clock anybody who would have the nerve to laugh or talk shit about you on the street. He's well aware of how cruel the society can be to those who don't fit in and the soul crushing ruthlessness of the corporate world of adults towards the young unexperienced people.

>>38587281
Suck his dick and eat the secretaries ass after she takes a shit.