>oh god its happening >im about to be 30 and never had

>acquire wizard powers
> ????
>profit

Wizard powers do exist, but there's an unfortunate catch. You have to have been studying and working up to them in the years up till this point.

(and also it's not real powers like spells and shit, but it's being very skilled in any hobbies or activities you may do in the ample free time you have)

>>38568340
don't ruin a meme faggo

>>38568340
>explaining what wiz powers are
wew man.. Thx for the explanation I totally believed you could fucking cast spells like in Harry Potter

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>>38568263
get a hooker?!
this is not original how suprising

>>38568353
>this guy lurks /r9k/ and polices memes

>>38568385

Doesn't count if you have to pay someone to sleep with you lol

>>38568400
still better than not having any of it at all

>>38568263
QUICK DECLARE A SPECIALIZATION
I THINK TRANSMUTATION IS TOP TIER

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>>38568389
>not doing that

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dude. buy a fucking prostitute and fuck her right in the pussy.
ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO STOP BEING A MEME

>>38568400
>>38568263

Johnfag here,

Whether or not it counts, it was incredibly fucking satisfying and lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

My story:
>Be me, turn 28
>Realize Wizardom is fast approaching
>Do some serious research into escorts (I kinda knew this is what I'd do for years anyway)
>Find one I like, invite her over
>She is friendly and good at making out, but condoms & stress/expectations mean I don't cum
>After a few trials, I find what works for me (oral)
>Don't really feel like I lost my vcard yet tho
>Years later, decide fuck it, I'm committed to reaching my goal (creampie)
>Spend some effort reading between the lines
>See a few girls who I suspect are bareback friendly
>Finally, during a session, one asks me to stick it in
Later, I realized I should've stuck it into a girl who asked me in a similar way earlier, but bareback is taboo so I didn't try at that time.
>Do so, its pretty grand
>Not tight, but very warm and enveloping
>Dump my seed into the lady
>Finally feel like a man

TL;DR
If condoms are workable you can bang the finest pieces of ass for cheap
Bareback & creampies are taboo but with effort you can get in on that train

You just have to make an effort to go out and meet people. I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you.

>>38568263
So are all of your opinions, probably.

>>38568340
this is why in my opinion a wizard is not a 30 years old virgin. if you spent the last 15 years crying about being a virgin and lusting over roasties instead of doing something with autism powers, youre just a pathetic incel

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>>38568533
>Barebacking a literal whore
ISHYGDDT

go bang a prostitute or some bar whore my dude it aint hard

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>>38568533
>finally feel like a man