anyone else here in a bad place? I just put two cigarettes out

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I think OP is an attentionseekingfag

>>38565416
just wanted to gauge perspectives on self harm
I have no intention to do it again as I feel it didn't help anything and had more of a negative impact than a positive

>>38565372
If you want to self harm just do exercise dude.
If you're a trashball trying to jog will actually feel like dying.

But then you stick with it and get those cardio gainz.

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It's been a real bad time on my end. Normally I'm numb enough to everything to get by but the past couple weeks have just been hard. I can't really pin it down to one thing.

>>38565459
neither can I, I have a rough idea of what it is but they all intertwine and theres so many different causes for me feeling how I feel that trying to pinpoint it feels like trying to touch air

>>38565484
I've got a vague idea too, but it's like looking at all the causes for a war. I can only find the obvious reasons that my emotions are bombing the rest of me, or however I make being miserable into a war metaphor.

>>38565372
You should slap yourself instead. I used to punch myself when I got angry or stressed but learned it hardemed the tissue making it more like for cancers to grow in the area. Slapping should be better for harmless self harm, I also take cold showers and eats lots of sour stuff like vinegar and lemons.

>>38565503
>>38565503
>>38565503
its tiring anon, it's been eating away at me persistently and only growing more ravenous.

When I come close to pinning it down I realise how it flows into more and more issues and the cycle repeats

gay, ugly, BDD, introvert, perfectionist

>>38565549
>it's been eating away at me persistently and only growing more ravenous.
Yeah, that sums it up for me too. I finally hit the age where it's officially been with me more than half my life. I don't think I could unravel all the problems causing it if I tried. I know it started with a girl.

>>38565372
>my first ever attempt at self harm
Tell me. What pushed you to it? Can you explain it?
I've never self-harmed in my life, even when I was at my worst.

>>38565572
it started with my mind

>>38565655
a culmination of feelings, my personality and impulse.

For a long while now being gay has made me feel biologically wrong, as a gay person I don't have that natural instinct to pro-create and it dehumanises me, it's only compounded when gay relationships are largely centred around looks and I'm no looker.

There's a boy I like, he likes me back, but he is honest to god a 9/10 and im a 3/10... I would feel enormous guilt if we ever dated as it would be so incredibly selfish of me to drag him into a relationship with someone such as myself - he deserves better.

My lexapro medication doesn't work, I dont want to talk to a therapist because listening to them tell me to take a deep breath and count to 10 wont change my problems.

I cried for 10minutes in my bed then when I went out for a cigarette, I was about to put in the ash tray, but instead I just shoved it into my leg, then I did it again.

>>38565718
>a culmination of feelings, my personality and impulse.
Ah I see. I must have come close to it once or twice in a similar mood but all I did was try to strangle myself or hit the bed while shouting. Try it next time, you don't wanna hurt yoursef

>>38565738
i scream into my pillow when i cry

I feel I can keep it together for maybe another half a year, more then enough time to tie up loose ends, prepare things and experience a few different things, then after that I'll hang myself or sit in the car with the engine on

My parents know of the situation I'm in and the intensity of it, but not quite the extent, I loathe the idea of the pain that my death will inflict upon them.....

It is against human nature and self preservation to commit suicide

but in the same respect it is against human nature to willingly endure pain and I feel such overwhelming emotional and spiritual pain

>>38565416
I don't think you're in a better position to comment.

>>38565788
I never cried, I always considered it un-honorable and childish. Try to take some vacations and get into escapism. That's what did the trick for me. If you still have urges then break things, shout, go to the junkyard and hit broken TVs with a stick

>>38565923
i already break things, i smash windows, i do petty vandalism it is time consuming and wears me out but never makes me feel better

>>38565939
Have you tried taking time off from the real world?

>>38565372
Just eat a hot chili next time. It burns good but it's actually good for you

>>38565973
i havnt been in the real world since i realised I was gay, it's been nothing but childish escapism and instant and cheap hedonism as well as attention seeking since. This is no better than the real world

i shouldnt even be complaining to you robots because i dont want to be accused of attention seeking

>>38566015
Fuck, you're having it worse than me. Sorry, but I cannot help you. Fare well, some other
robots may be better at helping you

I just did it again. It's the sense of utter compliancy towards self-destruction thats making me do it.

The only analogy I can think of thats worthy of comparison is like when theres a major riot and looting takes place, someone steals a chocolate bar or a a television from a supermarket, that doesn't necessarily make them a bad person

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Reminder that if you self harm you are a normalfag and should leave

>>38566154
>Reminder that if you self harm you are a normalfag and should leave

im no more of a normie than you, i'd argue im less of a normie than you.

I just wanted to express my musings on what I just recently did and experienced, it is no different from the robots that are alcoholics or use narcotics

When I was at uni I used to put cigarettes out but only ever on my left arm. I would never do it anywhere else on my body.

The minds a weird thing. It's like a cry for attention but you're not directing it towards anyone.

>>38566188
im full aware that it's a cry for attention, and by extension so is this thread..

I always despised self harm and thought of it as petty and ridiculous not to mention ineffective, and yet here I am

>>38566186
Those are normie activities.
Nobody here drinks or does drugs.

Put some shoes on, start running and count to 300. Experience some real self inflicted pain for once.

>>38566327
>Nobody here drinks or does drugs.
Fuck off, retard

>>38566362
>Drinks or does drugs
>Calls others retards
Projecting.

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smoking is bad for the lung, ok bye *bark*

>>38565372
Arr you a grill?

>>38566510
boy uwu hehehe orign