When will he just fucking die? He's so depressing and pitiful.

i unironically have the same haircut

He's you, Anon. He's been you the whole time.

>>38534810
Just wait. Chris will come back somehow. He'll be a successful artist or something.

He'll be proof that no matter how low we fall we can rise up again. That we can overcome the haters and autism.

R-right? Please tell me this will happen.

>>38534810
People that A-log Chris are often almost as pathetic as him. Just let him fuck his life up more.

so how does this guy makes money ? autism bux some patreon shit or what ?

>>38534910
He sells shit on Ebay, but most of his income comes from the American taxpayers.

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>>38534810
>Chris has been famous and cared about by thousands
>Chris has sold his possessions for tens of thousands of dollars
>Chris has been on the news twice
>Chris can drive and has been out in public regularly at events as well as local community areas
>he has attended college and was a regular in the hobby shop in the area, where he talked to a woman for a while
>his videos have hundreds of thousands of views and he has a fucking wiki devoted to him

All while I'm a 26 year old NEET who never leaves the house and spends his days silently shitposting.

In my experience, the people who deserve or need to die the most live the longest. Chris will probably outlive all of us slowly wasting away in his bedroom and surrounded by toys as he begs for money and desperately tries to convince himself that he's magically a woman because he wears a bra and rubs estrogen cream on his greasy distended gut.

>>38534999
triplets confirm, i have seen this pattern too, people that did literally nothing wrong die suddenly from a brain tumor or some similar shit, and those who spend their lives drinking and doing stupid shit get to live longer somehow.

>>38534810
I'm authentically surprised the Taint Saga didn't kill him.

>>38534810
I bet he'll be like Rosemary Kennedy: Living a long life of uselessness.

Chris-chan is a national treasure

>>38534963
>Chris has been on the news twice
He's been on he news a multitude times ever since he was a child.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGmYMGqnqL0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFQrhp84jDo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n062B5gurp0

Chris-Chan is fascinating and has been part of chan culture since 2007.


I often wonder what will become of him in his old age. What crazy antics will he perform next?

>>38535441
He's basically our generation's Evel Knievel.

>>38535481
explain this? don't know much about him

Reminder that Chris-chan might be the most documented man on the internet

>>38535592
He's probably the most documented man in history.

>>38535127
>Taint Saga
explain this

>>38534810
A month or two after his parents, I expect.

I would sell my soul for the sonic totem

I hope he lives as long as I do

He's a nice marker that no matter how bad my life gets, I'll never be as pathetic as him.

>>38534963
Your life is much better than a 35 year old drowning in debt he refuses to pay while pretending he is a woman and STILL buying transformers

>>38535535
He does crazy shit for attention and leaves you wondering what he's going to do next. What's not to get?

>>38535441
>I often wonder what will become of him in his old age.
you know the niggers 35 right

>>38535724
thought maybe was also an autist or had horrible weird life

>>38535758
To be fair his dad ate BK every day and lived to 80. he has reasonably good genes so who knows how old he will live?

>>38535761
sooo how did he not die? Anyone know?

>>38536111
He's obviously an immortal who's come down to Earth to show us the error of our ways. We can all strive to be more like Christine.

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>>38536111
Apparently autism really is a super power. I have literally never heard of an autistic child die from a disease that wasn't genetic or a catastrophic incident. This shit needs to be researched desu.

>>38536111
it probably started to hurt alot so he went to the doctor. Or its there and he has yet to go into shock. I have no idea.

>>38535363
Oh God, my sides. "Do not hate. Hate is not so good."

>>38536242
>Or its there and he has yet to go into shock.
There's no fucking way that he's had that thing for like a year and hasn't suffered septic shock yet but it's still upcoming. I'm pretty sure that's entirely biologically impossible.

>>38535441
>What crazy antics will he perform next?
He's frozen his own sperm with the intent that medical science will be able to give him a functional womb that produces eggs, and then he can impregnate himself.

>>38534941
It can't be that much. Also heard he lives in Virginia, do not exactly a low COL area

>>38536663

He lives in -rural- Virginia, like an hour out of Charlottesville. Ruckersville is a middle of nowhere dead end hick town full of poor rednecks.

>>38534810
I used to be spiritual and pray a lot till I followed Chris for years.

Thanks Chris for making realize that no god would ever make something so screwed up as you.

>>38536849
>tfw God
>tfw make a hilarious guy for entertainment purposes
>even make him unable to comprehend himself so he won't suffer while being funny
>tfw some guy loses his faith on seeing this creation

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>>38534810
>tfw /v/ found him and sonichu 10 years ago

He's going to end up joining ISIS or something the final chapter has to blow everything he's done so far out of the water.

>>38536206
It has been. Autism is linked to decreased cancer because tumor generating/feeding proteins are crippled and can't do anything. Trade off is being autistic.

>>38537059
I can imagine Chris going back to his old high school or college with a gun once Barb dies and he realises there's no way he can survive on his own.

>>38535761
I wonder if he did that himself or if he went to a piercing place to have it done. Imagine wrapping up your shift at the tattoo place one night and Chris Chan rolls in, throws a $20 on the counter, drops trou, and asks you to pierce his taint.

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>>38536623
>Chris Chan the Second will carry on with his father's legacy

>>38537609
>"I quit, effective immediately."

>>38534810
When will people realize there's thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people on r9k just like Chris Handler here, just a less autistic?

>>38534859

In life there are winners and losers

Some people ragequit

Some people stay filthy casuals their whole life

Chris never even picked up the controller

>>38537161
>decreased cancer

You mean just brain cancer right? Otherwise this makes no sense.

>>38537708
>chris chan lays on his deathbed
>calls his son over
>utters his last words with his dying breah
>"go son, go out and zap to the extreme"

>>38534903
Even knowing that term suggests you're already over-invested in this phenomenon

>>38537778
It's something with their fucked up genetics. In theory, their genes should actually cause more cancer to develop in their body, but in actuality they have over a 90% decrease in cancer rates compared to the general population. That's just my understanding from a quick Google search after I was curious about that guy's comment.

Why do people fixate on this guy? He's disgusting. It's sad. I don't gain a sense of satisfaction or superiority from looking at him, it just makes me feel worse about myself. I hate that life can be like this for people.

>>38537708

Does he even know his dad? Guy only lives with his mom, whose close to her deathbed

>>38537866
He's talking about Chris Chan's offspring who will have both sets of chromosomes from Chris. Chris did know his dad, but he's dead now. His dad was the one who stopped Chris from appearing online for a while because the darn dirty trolls were harassing him too, but now that he's gone, Chris has made a full comeback.

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>>38537804
>>"go son, go out and zap to the extreme"
It would be pure poetry.

>>38537935
Full circle pottery.

>>38537947
>Full circle pottery.
You don't have to tell me twice, but in the stone age...

>>38537855
I used to make fun of him but now it's gotten to the point where I can't anymore and I just feel bad for the guy

>>38534963
It's infamy, not fame

>>38537982
Nah, he was doomed before the internet got hold of him. I only feel bad for his parents, who had to raise that abomination. Ought to legalize extremely late term abortion.

looks like fucking Ted Cruz with a mullet.

>>38538206
I don't know how someone hasn't tried to convince Chris that Ted Cruz is his father.

>>38534810

I work with a trannie who looks quite a bit like that except fatter. Literally at an office job.

>>38534810
>he
Fucking fascist

>>38537769
Yo my almonds finna be A C T I V A T E D

>>38537917
>His dad was the one who stopped Chris from appearing online for a while because the darn dirty trolls

You sure he wasn't estranged from his father?

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>>38538409
Yes. Bob lived in the house with them.

>>38538409
Well he sure thought something was strange about his boy.

>>38538442
RIP Bob

Has anyone else been spooked by how jaded and out of it Barb is looking, she's like the typical dumb American boomer but I can't help but feel sorry for her having to look after ChrisChan at her old age, she should be relaxing somewhere not begging for internetbux

>>38538442
Damn, imagine walking to your grown man son's room and seeing those figurines

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>>38538513
Imagine paying students at your son's high school to act as his 'gal pals' because you refused to acknowledge he needed to be in special ed and he needed to be protected due to his aspie retardation which you helped foster.

>>38538547
Bob and barb originally, then CWC too.

Who is this qt chubby girl?

>>38538539
>Imagine paying students at your son's high school to act as his 'gal pals' b

I never believed that. Kids that young are usually nice

>>38538710
The women told Chris himself, they tolerated Chris in his youth, but in the last few years he became pretty aggressive on FB leading to him finding out some shit.

>>38538723
C'mon, you gonna believe the women?

>>38536972
It's been longer anon.

>>38535441
he's going to die of an infection because he cut a vagina into his taint

>>38538999

>tfw ywn inseminate christines taint hole

>>38538507
She looks demeted and barely conscious about what's going on around her

>>38537818
The problem isn't being invested in Chris. The problem is people who wish he would die when he's just a funny, lovable retard. A-log literally thought "what Saddam did in the Middle East is potatoes to what Chris has done" as if a manchild is some evil person who needs to die.

>>38539694
What does A-log mean?

>>38534810
I want normegg to go first.

>>38539796
it refers to anthony logatto. Someone who hates chris. A-logging means wanting harm or death on chris.

>>38535761
i really hoped i wouldnt have to see this image ever again after the firs time

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>>38535441
And this is the reason these places are called Chans. Impressive, huh?

I thought he'd die of infection or sepsis or something by now

>>38537708
>father's legacy
And mother's.

>>38537866
faggot how can you be this new

kill yourself

>>38538507
probably addicted to valium

what a life

>>38537778
Could also be bowel cancer. There are similar cells in intestines as there are in the brain. In addition, digestive problems are common in autism, at least if it's female-type.

>>38538037
Infamy is better than obscurity.

>>38534810
Is he actually trans or is he a trender jumping the bandwagon?

>>38540105
Could be both desu.

he cut of his dick right? lol

>>38540153
I don't think he removed it I think he got some sort of piercing that made it look like he had vagina or something

>>38538507
She's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

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>>38538455
I like to think Bob was so high on dehydration and pain meds he went out thinking only of victories past and apple pie and not his he-she she-he block builder.
>Old soldiers never die, but if they knock up beyond-used goods, their exceptional sons turn out gay. - Douglas C. McArthur in his 'Farewell Address to Congress'
American heroes of old like Jackson, Ike, McArthur, Wilson, Long, even JFK, tried to warn us, but we didn't listen. Fucking past America selling their decedents out to the Jews for fake news cash and artificially scare earth crap. Now we have Chris and cryptocurrencies and everyone is on medication and the gun lobbies are negotiating rights previously considered inalienable, there was a nigger President and then Donnie Trump, privacy is considered quaint, everywhere I look some chimp is clacking in some sort of Spanish and also tfwnogf.
When is the classic going back on sale?

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>>38537748
>be so new you think this revelation makes you remotely insightful
>"you guys are just lulcows too, lolz0rz"
>tfw it's autistic turtles all the way down
go to /fit/ and tell them about intermittent fasting next.

>>38535535
nigga u allready on the internet tf you askin here for?

>>38537769
good life advice here

>>38538710
Bob literally handed Chris the money to pay them and Chris didn't realize he was paying them to hang out with him until age 30.

>>38535761
The guy who bought the totem is actually now a cow himself.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/michael-j-hirtes-mike-hirtes-mhirtes-rektbylife-slep-i-want-cake-totem-sanic.32312/

>>38534963

Chris was kicked off college campus for prostituting himself.
He got banned from the gamestore and tried to kill the owner twice.
He's also been on the news a lot.

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>>38535626
>>38535592
I thought you fuckers were joking till I checked him out.

>Everyone of these "Sagas" has a lengthy piece about them with video & photo evidence.

>>38542017
Apparently there are still unreleased tapes of Chris crying over his father's agonizing death that the trolls refuse to release.

>>38542050
>being so bad that the trolls targeting you refuse to release all their material on you
Some kind of record desu

>>38535761
That's enough internet for today

>>38542017
Who is doopie?

Someone explain to me - does GE still hate fags, despite being one? Is he still searching for a gf?

>>38534963

Chris got fired from a Wendy's for screaming at a child. Chris thinks an infected taint piercing is actually a vagina created through hypnosis. Chris burned down his house because his coffee maker is in the bathroom. Even though I know nothing else about you, the fact that you're aware enough to be upset about the direction of your life shows that you're in a much, much better place than Chris is.

>>38543025
Doopie DoOver. An e-celeb Chris is obsessed with.

>>38534835
No surprises there

>>38542017
the memes went meta

an autistic man autistically documented

I think there's a write up of every video he has ever posted

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If Barb dies, Chris dies.

>>38534963
>Just because you have their attention doesn't mean you have their respect

-Dale fucking Gribble

Barb is one of those kinds of people who will teeter with one foot over the threshold of Death's door for years, existing in a state between life and death with brief moments of coherence. I wouldn't be surprised if, despite her incredibly poor health and seeming like she could drop at any minute, she lives for another ten years.

>>38538403
>finna
That's not a word.

>>38543998
That's wishful thinking son.

I'm surprised that despite all the attention Chris has received that no one rich enough took the time and money to save him from himself. Send him to therapy, get him on a diet, clean him up etc. I'd do it if I was rich.

>>38545124
He would have to be willing to be saved in order to do that though

>>38544490
>yfw barb is nurgle

This probably makes me a bad person but I'm hyped for the Orphan saga.
Literally anything could happen.

>>38545923
I'm honestly going to feel sad when it happens. While Chris Chan is a major lolcow, I've seen him and his family go through so much over the years.

>>38536623
Now he will be a transparent.

>>38545124
He's received plenty of legitimate help from anons before, but he either rejects it, misunderstands it, or assume they want to fuck.

>>38536623
Imagine that being the last thing he does in his life, the first person to impregnate themselves. History will remember him as a complete anomaly, being famous for just being him

>>38539694
he's automatically right because saddam was the good guy

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>>38542017
>the financhu crisis

my fucken sides

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>>38534810
>those "old man" arms
>he's only 34

>>38539694
Saddam did nothing wrong though.

>>38547745

When you never exercise, eat nothing but fast food and processed garbage, and rarely shower, it'll do a real number on your physical health.

>>38545923
>Literally anything could happen.
I feel that if we learned anything from the Taint Saga it's that anything can happen right now, including the literally unimaginable.

>>38535761
spoiler that shit dude geez. its funny how easy it can be to wade unflinching through gore threads but that fucking thumbnail triggers like the first time I saw shovel dog

>>38536623
no oh god no please no.

>>38535363
This too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS-RdZ5tW9I
He's a natural born attention whore.