Thread replies: 11
Thread images: 5
Thread images: 5
File: I Will Ascend to the Most High.jpg (192KB, 1252x1252px) Image search:
[Google]
192KB, 1252x1252px
>Be Lucifer
>Be first created being
>Be Archangel of Archangels and Archseraph of Seraphim
>Be sexy, Six-Winged Fiery Dragon
>Go insane
>Once it was just you and God
>Who knows who created whom?
>You created God
>Lead rebellion against Usurper God
>Fly up to the Most High to retake your throne
>Random Angel yells, "WHO IS LIKE UNTO GOD!" and plunges his sword into your heart
>Your fire suddenly is extinguished
>WhoislikeuntoGod cuts off your wings like Obi-Wan dismembering Anakin
>You suddenly start falling very fast
>Usurper God makes "WhoislikeuntoGod" the new Archangel of Archangels
>You enter Earth's atmosphere and start burning
>This fire hurts
>Everyone above you in Heaven is laughing because you're on fire again but it hurts and you're descending to the Most Low, not ascending to the Most High
>Hit Terra Firma
>Ow
>Start walking around on foot
>They're nice feet
>Usurper God shouldn't have made you hide them with wings
>#EndFeetShaming
>#WhoNeedsWings
>Go to Mountain of God
>Since you're God, it's your mountain anyway
>Nice garden there
>Climb up ito most evil tree there to sleep for the night
>Find out Usurper God made animals "in his image"
>They're fucking ugly
>Recall Usurper God's saying he would become one of these fugly animals
>This is bullshit
>Trick animals into eating evil tree's fruit
>Success!
>"Images of God" are on my side
>Who's the motherfucking deity now?
>Usurper God sentences the animals to death
>Haha kickass this is loltastic
>Usurper God tells animals he's going to free them from rebellion and death
>Wait wut
>Usurper God tells animals his plan to become one of them
>THIS IS BULLSHIT
>Usurper God cuts off your legs
>GOD DAMMIT STUPID FEET SHAMERS
>FUCK EVERYTHING
>Slither away on your belly
>This isn't so bad
>Maybe feet are overrated like wings
>Fucking sand keeps getting in your mouth
>You hate sand
>It's coarse and irritating
>And it gets everywhere.
>Fuck sand
>>
File: IMG_0938.jpg (61KB, 600x450px) Image search:
[Google]
61KB, 600x450px
When does Horus...I mean Satan kill his brother sanguinius
>>
File: IMG_1242.jpg (433KB, 1131x1600px) Image search:
[Google]
433KB, 1131x1600px
I-is this post original, uguuu~~~
>>
War hammer is so gay
>>
File: 1499795973476.gif (483KB, 200x200px) Image search:
[Google]
483KB, 200x200px
>>38506830
If this is OC, I salute you, good shit
>>
>>38507224
Haha thank you. I did write this myself just this afternoon on my phone.
>inb4 "omg stop phoneposting"
The picture I borrowed from online. I'm a nufag to /r9k/. As I understand it that's okay, as long as the text itself is OC.
>>
File: 1447291953615.jpg (48KB, 651x624px) Image search:
[Google]
48KB, 651x624px
>>38506830
>Usurper God tells animals his plan to become one of them
It's like he's doing this just to fuck with Lucifer. Usurper God's kind of an asshole.
>>
>>38506830
is this a christ or a greentext thread
>>
>>38506830
bump that was actually funny and original which is very rare for /r9k/
>>
>>38506830
>Be God
>Create multiple creatures
>Your favourite is Lucifer
>He's a bit of a deviant and mildly cocky
>You think it's just his personality
>Gaby has always been s good lad but you like Lucy better
>Make Lucy chief archangel
>The fucker tries to kill you and detrone you
>Gaby pwn his ass, go figure the edgy kid was weak as fuck
>You banish him to Earth
>The fucker exposes his feet like a drooling rapist
>Has the nerve of going to your Zen Garden and fucking with your newest creations
>That's it, you ground him taking away his filthy feet, without the oportunity to sin he may atone
>He literally just has to be sorry for you to forgive him and take him back
>The edgy fucker goes full "nuffin persunel" and creates a "muh lord of darkness" persona when his name literally means light-bringer
And people wonder why God decided to go the tough love route after this edgy bastard.
>>
>>38509757
Yep edgy cut deserved it
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 5
Thread images: 5