People ask me why I take my contact lenses out every time I poop.

File: cera cheese.jpg (874KB, 4224x2376px) Image search: [Google]

874KB, 4224x2376px

If I have pink eye I get prescribed antibiotic eye drops. If I have pink eye for a few months... controllably dosing my eye balls with shit so as to keep the infection present, but using some of the eye drops to keep it from getting worse, while saving as much of the drops as I can... I can save a lot of these drops. So I can marry her.

Eventually have enough eye drops, start using enough to cure pink eye. Pink eye gone - but still pile of drops. She has a boyfriend - two actually, but she tells me everything and said they all know that being together isn't anything serious but they like each other for now and they're going to roll with it. She has plenty of sex with them and other dudes but is on daily birth control pills and you can set you watch by when she takes her pill every damn day.

She's confided in me that she thinks her mother did a shitty job with her and her sister, and that they had to raise themselves pretty much. Her greatest fear is getting pregnant and being a bad mother. She thinks abortions are totally all right but said she could and would never ever do that herself because she wants to be a good mom no matter what lol.

That's when I tell my doctor about all the pain I'm in from my eyes, and because "my eyes are so tender" anesthetic eye drops would hurt worse... "could you just give me some kind of pill?" So with a fresh scrip for [insert opioid here] I get to work refining it, probs to get any acetomepblhaphin out of it for more concentrated doses.

File: cerabeer.jpg (89KB, 574x574px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 574x574px

From there I stockpile until I have a definite KO dose, and I wait. Girls don't really mind talking about their periods anymore, so with a few (and early) slightly probing questions you can approximate and then fine tune the rhythm of her cycle. To know her most fertile days.

Some antibiotics, like the kinds used in eye drops - almost completely negate the effectiveness of birth control pills. So I just dose her after a period, maybe when I visit her apartment just put some drops on all her food and in all her drinks and toothbrush idk. Then on one of her most fertile days just dose her with the opioids - knock her the fuck out. Rape her silly enough to get pregnant. Maybe it takes a few months, a few rounds to get the job done... but won't that be fun?

She gets pregnant, she loses boyfriends, her obsession with maternity means she WILL keep our child, and I (the best friend) have groomed myself as the ultra dad even filled her head with stories about my rough relationship with my dad (who is actually a righteous dude) and how I want to do better for my sons XD

I swoop in with a great job, my own place, and I confess my love for her has extended long before her pregnancy - and use it as an excuse to become her husband, and father to one of her "boyfriend's" or some other dude's babies. I'll imaginarily cuck myself.

File: ceracigarettes.jpg (67KB, 400x267px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 400x267px

By now I'll have stopped taking my contacts out when I poop. Saying to her that "she's changed things for me." Our son our daughter will grow, and become a teenager. Maybe he/she will know I'm not their "real dad" growing up. Regardless I want to be there when years later that child goes looking for their "real dad" and ends up finding out their half brother is actually their FULL brother, or that somehow neither of her boyfriends were their dad, or maybe I'll give them my own DNA and just tell everyone at the dinner table...

Why I would take my contacts out every time I pooped.

>>38488738
This is beautiful. You ought to author a novel OP

Beautiful albeit disturbing plan OP, worthy of a bump.

There is no way this is going to work. She's gonna think you're a disgusting weird faggot. The doctors won't give you opioids because they aren't optometrists, they will give you a specialist referral. Even if you somehow got opiods to rape her you'll just end up in prison. Stop being a beta orbiter to some roastie that's fucking two different Chads and not you. Faggot.

>>38488654
but seriously though, why do you take your lenses off when you poop?