Why does this happen to me, like I'm not miserable enough

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Why does this happen to me, like I'm not miserable enough

i had another one of the best dreams of my life, totally realistic where you forget completely about your waking life like it never existed, and I fell in love in my dream and she fell in love with me, It felt like no other reality existed but that one, And when I woke up I was initially happy but upon realizing that it wasn't reality and I was back here, makes me want to kill myself to try return back to that

I would forfeit the rest of my life to experience that for a week

What do I do now and where do I go from here, It feels like a part of me just died and I just left without the opportunity to say goodbye