ITT: therapist thread Share your therapy experiences >mom

>go to therapist
>tell her I'm a pedophile
>come back next week
>"So are you still a pedophile"?

>best friend thinks I'm gonna kill myself
>tricks me into going to a shrink
>I weasel out of it
>get called "unstable"
>best friend ends up killing themselves
Fucking hypocrite.

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>begin seeing therapist
>convinces me my anxiety and inability to have friends stem from being a fat fuck my entire life
>lose the weight
>develop binge eating disorder
>still no friends
>still too anxious to leave the house regularly

>>38459602
Fake and gay. The DS can't connect to the internet, only the DSi and 3DS can.

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>>38460996
>best friend ends up killing themselves
>themselves

>mom makes me see a therapist
>"so anon, how are you today"
>i just shart my pants
>the meds rock

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>>38461208
nope, DS can connect to the internet

>severe depression with suicidal ideation
>after almost a year of waiting lists i get a regular psychologist (fucking everyone here goes to the shrink and uses up the spots of people with actual issues)
>we talk
>over nearly a year of therapy he gets me to stop repressing all my emotions
>tfw i now have emotions that i don't know how to handle
>instead of feeling shit all the time i now feel good sometimes and super shit all the rest of the times

I'm not sure if it was worth it. I now get emotionally attached to anyone who shows me the slightest amount of humanity. This brings with it a lot of pain

At least i recently decided I'm not gonna kill myself
still wish i was dead tho :^)

>>38461151
That sounds like a shit therapist...
Why do you think you don't have any friends?

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>>38461353
>That big fat DS
>That gamboy player
I NEVER ASKED FOR THOSE FEELS

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When I was a kid my parents made me go to some sort of child therapist. This is legit the easiest job. If you robots are ever poor and directionless, become a child therapist.

>guy would try to get me to talk about my feelings for ten minutes
>wouldn't tell him shit because he's a creepy fat dude in a sweater vest
>spend the rest of the hour playing Uno

fuck you Dr. Mike


I have a lot of problems now but those problems also prevent me from ever seeking help

>>38461151
>>38460996
>>38459935

What meme therapists are you guys going to? If your therapist does not at least have a psychology license, you are just wasting your time. The basic rule in psychology is never to blame the patient for his shortcomings dircetly.

Also, dont tell you therapist you are a fucking pedo, since they have to report you.

>>38461487
What feels

>>38461521
>>38461559
>tfw up until right now the thought that a therapist could not be be a psychologist didn't even cross my mind

>>38461609
>What feels
Nostalgia

>ywn be again an happy kid playing Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time in his hometown park.

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>tfw have to hide my powerlevel from the psychologist every week
>tfw almost blew it today by launching into an impassioned tirade on the American Heart Association being a corrupt piece of shit whose "studies" don't mean shit and premarital sex being for retarded degenerates which is unfortunate because marriage is a complete and utter scam for men
>have almost referred to antidepressants as "Jew pills" several times now
It's just one fucking sentence away from the funny farm, boys.

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>>38461467
>That sounds like a shit therapist
Only reason I continued seeing her for two and a half years was because she was all I could afford and my family was threatening to kick me out if I didn't seek help.
>Why do you think you don't have any friends?
She ended up diagnosing me with avoidant personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. Socializing is tough stuff.

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>>38459602
I was a fat fuck child/teenager and also had a speech impediment. So I was extremely depressed and anxious for about 85% of my life.

I would beg and cry for my parents to take me to a therapist, and they never did. They would instead make fun of me and call me a borderline.

I had to learn and develop coping skills on my own.......and honestly I'm happy my parents did what they did. If I had gone down that route I would have been on meds probably, and be a true mental patient.

Because of what I went through I feel like a much stronger person. Fuck therapy.

They are money takers and illusionist.

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I am worried to go to a therapist. I think I am borderline but I do not know if I should get it checked out. I am also a pedophile and want to kill myself. What do I do? Do I go?

>>38461609

Most of them are just retarded wannabe meme therapists with a sociology degree or no degree at all.

Real psychologists or psychiatrists are the only thing you should visit and there are even bad apples among the professionally trained therapists.

Stuff like >>38461151 runs counter to everything we know in psychology so far, since most of the time, obesity and eating disorders are the result and not the cause of mental illness.

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>getting forced into the real world
>break down when uncle is teaching me to drive
>tell him i just can't do it and i need to see a psychiatrist
>he sets up an appointment with a counselor he knows
>30 mins with her and she obviously understands that she's not at all prepared to deal with me
>diagnoses me with MDD that day and schedules more appointments
>she's not helping with any of my actual problems
>all she does is dredge up the painful aspects of my life and makes me cry
>by the 5th session i'm a complete mess 24/7 and realize this needs to stop
>literally that session she says this
>"anon i've noticed you've gotten much worse since you started seeing me, maybe we need to meet twice a week?"
>was too weak to say anything and just stopped going
these people are bigger jews than dentists, never again

she wouldn't even give me meds like a normal american doctor

>>38461559
>Also, dont tell you therapist you are a fucking pedo, since they have to report you.
Don't tell them about getting molested as a child either. I broached the subject with mine and she asked if it had been reported it. It hadn't, as I was a kid and didn't know what the hell was going on and never told my folks. She then said she was legally required to report it to the police and asked for the guy's name and where he was living. Ended up having to lie and tell her that I didn't remember his last name or where he was living so as to avoid that whole ordeal.

>>38461657
I told my therapist about Jewish influence and they just sent me an email asking me not to come back.
I think she might have been part kike.

I prefer seeing psychiatrists. They're pretty similar except a psychiatrist gives you meds that can kill you.

>>38459602
I actually just got back from a therapist appointment, it was a new one and I told her about my suicidal thoughts but that I didn't have a plan, I'm back home and I'm worried the police are going to be knocking soon as thats happened before.

>>38461926
Yeah same it's more efficient.

>>38461857
Yeah if you are under 17 years old (or mention someone under 17) and tell them about abuse then they must report it. They love to report it.

I know a co-worker of mine who went to a therapist. She made a short comment about her daughter, and that she thought she wasn't spending much time with her children, and the one child has asthma and she missed his last appointment, etc.

The therapist fucking reported the daughter for abuse. And people showed up to the kids school, it was a big fucking unneeded mess. It ended up causing my co-worker even more problems.

>>38462000
I mean under 18 years old

>be me
>forced to go to therapy for substance abuse
>always get asked why i use
>I say, "I don't have any particular reason to use, I just find an alternative consciousness interesting."
>"Anon, there's a lot of red flags here, surely you must have something that triggers your usage. Maybe like a season, a song, or a memory?"
>i'm visibly getting frustrated because she's not listening, "I recollect myself and say no, I use out of curiosity, I don't have a problem."
>she threatens to hospitalize me because I say this, and I look at with a raised brow because she's being completely irrational
>tells my parents I'm being uncooperative, and now I'm forced to go twice a week
I don't have much of a conclusion because I just abruptly stop going, but I legitimately think this woman was manipulating my parents into thinking I had a legitimate drug problem.

>>38459602
>be me, 7
>parents get divorce
>I suck at school, they take me to shrink
>shrink says I'm just a sensitive kid that should be left alone
>parents don't leave me alone, they want a Chad. take me to another therapist
>she's kinda gay so I decide not to tell her shit
>by now resent my parents and just about everybody.
>age 14 I'm a real fuckup at school. I jump over the fence every day at 10 am to go smoke cigarettes with my buddy in a parking lot
>sent to shrink again, she's also lame so I don't tell her shit except that I hate my parents. it changes nothing about my life.
>somehow get into HS and decide I'm gonna change my life. go to another shrink this time he's a bro
>with his guidance, start getting straight As also a gf whom I've lost my virginity to (inb4 ree)
>second half of first year of HS, get bored with all that shit, quit shrink and start skipping school again
>school threatens to expel me, try to be good again, but fail. done 12 years with no diploma

I've seen 3 more shrink and two psychiatrists in my adult life, it is not going very well.

>>38461657
I've almost done stuff like that too, I think I also started talking about how the Chinese are like insects one time

why go to therapy if you can waste that money on whores? it is better wasted and you will feel better.
at least you can buy real affection instead of a"""friend"""""

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>>38461521
>be me
>go to child therapist
>we dont really talk about emotions
>we play stratego all the time

>now in 8th grade
>forgot how to play stratego
>try to kill myself

So i guess it was a big waste.

>>38462049
What drugs are/were you using?

>>38462058
fuck it I'll keep greentexting
>finish HS, there's mandatory army service in my country
>can't handle the pressure of people screaming at me and telling me what to do
>go complain to army shrink I can't be a fighter
>pulls me out combat training and gets me an office job
>bored af, start getting depressed and threatning to kms
>army shrink sends me to army psychiatrist that advises I should be in a base closer to home
>never make it there, instead I go straight to a hospital and threaten to kill myself if they don't release me from the army entirely
>this will leave a stamp on you anon
>ree don't care
>psychiatrist releases me from the army on account of being bipolar (I'm not)

My experiences:
>go to psychiatrist
>psychiatrists is egyptian immigrant who barely speaks my native language
>he questions three things: if you eat well, if you sleep well and if you feel well
>this process takes 5 min
>regardless of the answers he proscribes jew pills

Medication and therapy free for two years now! Thank God!

You guys, Americam therapists are for normies. You go to them with problems like, "Why wont Chad date me?" and "Stacy left me and I'm sad." Not robot-tier problems lmao

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>>38462058
>>38462205
>mfw it s a half-chad/half-robot

>>38462134
>whores
>real affection instead
Sadely no

>>38459602
I am actually about to go to school for clinical psych and I hope I can be better than the stories I've seen here and my own story.

>be 19
>want therapy but no money and don't want parents to know
>go to CC psych
>she seems cool at first
>first HW assignment
>I was supposed to compliment people at work for basically doing their job (it couldn't be favors I asked)
>don't do it
>explain I work in retail and the culture their is to keep your head down and shut up
>she tells me I must not want to change enough and that I need to hit rock bottom before I'll become motivated
>never go back

>>38462252
>he thought a psychiatrist actually cared the least bit about his problems
Kikity kek. Don't fret, I made that mistake too the first time I saw a psychiatrist.

>be 20, US Marine
>suicide attempt after about a year of service
>get sent to therapist twice a week
>no meds, they just admin sep me after a few more months
>living at dads house now, no job
>therapist is responsible for me losing a job with ok benefits
>lose a good portion of the gi bill too
Shame, it was comfy at 9th comm bn

>>38462049
How much stuff do you quantitatively consume, anon?

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>only child
>parents never do any parenting aside from hating my friends
>age 12 they take me to a child psychologist
>psychologist uses clinical language to call me a crazy worthless piece of shit every week
>no hope, no lightness, just doom and gloom and clinical labels
>parents think this is just dandy
>push Prozac on me (without using the word "Prozac" because pop culture already knows what's going on there) for my "chemical imbalance"
>try their hardest to convince me my brain is defective because I like the wrong music or I called some kid a name or whatever

>>38462419
>suicide attempt
>has access to a gun

No, that was a cey for attention. You just wantednattention so bad you threw that job away. Your dad's right anon. Only women have "suicide attempts". You either shoot yourself in the fucking head or you just want attention.

>>38462360
how so? I'm a socially anxious skele fuckup but I look alright and kinda talented so I managed to have sex a few times when I was actually around people

>>38462205
while im at it
>adult life now, idk what to do, start taking freelance gigs (graphic design) and get my own place
>still wish to kms every day, cry constantly and hate life, decide to go to another shrink
>says I'm basically just a good kid that was never understood and treated right
>doesn't know how to help me so sends me to psych for SSRIs
>start taking jew pills, life a shit still
>fast forward move to LONDON to work in freelance design
>do that for two years almost with no shrink by my side
>my boss changes into this new douchebag that constantly looks over my shoulder and threatens to fire me
>start getting panic attacks and run back home with le tail between my legs
>the day I get back from london I decide to fuck my own shit up and quit the jew pills cold turkey.
>life of misery and living at my grandmother's ensues.

>>38462460
How do "no fun allowed"-people ever meet each other to reproduce?

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Looking at all these people, I feel sad for them.

I'm glad my parents are as insane as I am.

>>38461559
>don't tell the shrink your a pedo
>don't tell the shrink you have considered or actively self-harmed
>don't tell the shrink your suicidal

so much it's unwise to tell a therapist. Why would you ever seek help when they are law-bound to abuse and break your trust?

>>38462469
My M16 was locked up tight in the armory, high security around that. So couldn't access the rifle.
Even if I could get my rifle somehow, the ammo was stored in a separate high security building a few miles away.
So it would take breaking into 2 separate high security buildings without getting caught, and then not getting stopped by an MP who wants to know why some fuckwad lance corporal is walking around alone at night.

>>38462388
Psychiatrists are into the field for the Mercedes S they drive, I know it.

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>>38461657
>>38461892
>>38462133
I can tell we would be best buddies in real life

>>38462500
last part idk if anybody even reads this but I kinda like writing it.
>depression is the most severe it's ever been in my life
>one day ask dad to take me to psych ward because everything feels so bad I just dont know what to do anymore
>psych ward admittance psych tells me that I'm not a mental case and that I'd be better off not getting in there
>the attention for that day does it for me and I start feeling better, the next day I go to a new shrink
>she puts me back on meds
>spend a year shitposting drinking and hanging out with whoever is willing to hang while talking about useless shit with shrink.
>my shit's still fucked and I'm not getting any better
>decide to contact shrink from HS, start seeing him again
>mfw he's the only one who actually ever helped me, I could've went to him from the start
>we decide together that I'mma stop taking jew pills
>it's been two years since I've stopped and severe withdrawal symptoms are still present
>employment is shaky and I'm still living with my relatives
>He does help me understand and accept myself though, and I'm starting to just accept things being shitty

>>38459602
>Grandparents have great expectations for me
>Spectacularly fail to fulfill them
>Next time I visit them, they send me to some cheapo therapist
>She just lays me down on a bed and puts on some relaxing music
>Listen to it for 30 minutes
>Session over
>Grandparents out like 50 bucks

That's pretty much how every session went. She tried talking to me about my problems for a bit but realized I was incorrigible, and proceeded to happily drain my grandparents of money to do diddly squat.

>>38461559
>Therapist has psychology degree
>Charges 120 dollars an hour

>>38462548
Righhtt. A marine doesn't get access to guns. Seems plausible. Well you could have bought a gun with your marine pay. I got one amd it took me 30 minutes.

Just admit it was a woman-tier cry for attention which cost you.

>>38462939
They have Doctorates. If you want lower rates, go a master's level counselor or a clinical social worker.

>>38462424
Low-medium doses if I'm not familiar with the drug, medium-high if I'm familiar with its high and prepared for maximum harm reduction.

>>38462182
Nothing too crazy. Cough medicine as a disassociative, classic psychedelics, some pills (never did find them pleasurable), and marijuana. I rarely do anything today other than the occasional tab of acid or smoke some marijuana. I drink too, but seldom to get drunk.

>>38462982
Actually the one's that have doctorates are charging 200 leafbux a session (160 USD). It's $100-120 for MAs. None of this is covered of course.

I don't even understand how people choose therapists. Their profiles are all extremely off putting. People with mental illness already are usually anxious and have trouble making decisions. The entire model of mental health care isn't conducive to helping people at all.

>>38463499
Both yes, and no; the shrink was probably very unexperienced

>Why don't you try masturbating to girls anon [only get off to women's clothing at the time], you might end up liking it. When sushi first came to this country everyone thought it was a horrible idea, but you see now it's a booming business. You just have to try new things.
>I want from our therapy for you to become "one of the bros"
>If you could become a woman for a month, would you do it? [I respond yes] Why not more then? [awkward silence]

What happens if I start talking about the Jews to my therapist?

>Be 10 or 11
>Mom drills me about wanting to live at my dads
>Being a sensitive pussy, I start crying and tell her I love them both
>She asks why I crying
>I admit that I think my classmates don't like me to keep from hurting her feelings
>She offers to take me to a child therapist
>Don't want to go, but she makes me anyways
>Go to therapist
>He hands me a sheet asking if I have friends, how many, am I happy and things like that
>Lie on all of them
>Barely talk to the actual guy, he just runs through the same questions
>We leave and never come back, my mom never talks about it

Was that just a bad shrink or are they always that bad?

>>38463658
>None of this is covered of course.
What? Even in America there has been a decent shift to mental health being covered.

But I agree with the other point. I'm the guy who said he was going to clinical psych school and honestly the people most likely to be good clinicians (or at least have the best heart) might not be the ones getting into programs. All schools care about is who's going to be a good glorified research assistant for 5 years and that's why the people who come out can come off as robotic - in school they were a researcher first and a clinician second.

>>38462880
seems like things are slowly getting better now, keep it up man !

>>38463842
Psychiatry is covered just like any doctor visit, but not therapy. My old job had mental health coverage as a benefit, but I was fired.

>be 3 yo
>i learned how to read and write before speaking
>diagnosed with autism (dad is too)
>12 years later
>casually tell my teacher to off himself because i got a- even though i knew everything about the subject
>get suspended from his classes the rest of the year, have to go to therapist with mom
>got to listen to a dutch roastie ramble on about "hurrr teenagers all have problems sweetie" once every month

>>38463813
Your therapist is a jew you fool

>be 14
>parents abused and kicked me out to live with my grandma
>have to go see therapist
> tell her I was diagnosed with PTSD by a psych
> she thinks I'm lying and won't check my records
>have a lot of problems with paranoia and becoming emotionally attached, panic attacks, anxiety, among other things
>fucking Jew therapist thinks I just need to meditate
>too socially paranoid and anxious to have friends or even leave the house
>beg her to prescribe me meds
>she refuses then quits randomly

>>38462880

If it helps I really enjoyed reading you, and I lowkey found my self in your "good kid that's misudnerstood" type of comment since I've gotten that before :(

>>38461271
maybe I wanted it to be a secret that she had a big ol' mocha-colored virginal vagina.

>>38462469
I wonder if the fag who you're responding to ever saw Full Metal Jacket. Just pull a Pvt. Pyle, you're not getting up from that.

>>38459602
It is stuff like this that gives me hope for the future of mankind. That strength! That hideous strength!!!

sadly it is not true...

heres a great one for you
>13 years old
>mom forces me to a psych
>>"so tell me about school and your friends"
>"well i only know a couple of people that i grew up with..i'm pretty antisocial"
>>"you aren't antisocial, you can't be. being antisocial isn't about not wanting to talk to people, its about a hatred for other people. school shooters are antisocial, would you group yourselves with them?"
>put on prozac at the age of 13
>stop going to psych after one visit

>>38466736
Does sound like you were more asocial than antisocial, anon.
But generally if you talk to shrinks they'll try to poison you so don't tell them shit anyway.

>>38459602
I live in miami where everyones a mexican basically. I am a genius and ravish standardized tests but am lazy in school. mummy made me go to neuropsychologist beaner who is one of those annoying fags whose vocabulary is too large relative to their intellect and recognized that my intellect dwarfed his tiny hispanic mind so to keep me from growing even more egotistical than I already was, he reneged on his promise to test my IQ cause he "already determined what was wrong with me" i.e. narcissism what a joke, I wish I had a Ashkenazim psych

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>be local meme therapist
>get another appointment with a robot
>he's talking about sociopathy and constantly brings up the topic of jews
>try to focus on his feelings, but he's too aggressive to handle
>schedule more appointments
>bully him hard, he bursts into tears on the last appointment
>tell him to not come back
>recently found out he killed himself
>and his mother paid me for it

>18, parents just divorced, getting into a lot of trouble with the cops and with drugs
>Mom makes me go to therapy
>The therapist is a maternal qt type
>hate talking to her because i'm clearly more intelligent
>makes me talk about the divorce all the time even though i'd rather talk about my edgelord foreveralone depression
>one day have to go to work right after (worked as a bus boy at a nice restaurant) and show up in a suit and tie and she says i look nice
>only nice thing anyone had said to me in years
>usually show up to her office like 20 minutes after i wake up in the late afternoon
>one day after our appointment i ask her if i can tell her about a dream i had
>start telling her about it and to my own surprise start weeping in the middle and can barely even finish
>she gives me her number and says i can call her anytime
>throw it away and never go back

>>38459602
I went to therapy for depression and pill abuse at 13

>>38462177
>now in 8th grade
enjoy your ban m8

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>>38459602
Probably manchild shit, but I always read therapist as "the rapist" tbqh

on thursday my new shrink wants to talk about my drinking problem but instead I'm probably going to tell her about my lesbian friend that I annoy by constantly asking her to cuddle with me even though she hasn't for years.

>go to therapist at 15 because I thought I was le de pressed
>she doesn't do anything
>get put on anti psychs because she felt like I was "in need of them"
>mention playing arma 3 once
>she believes I'm a violent school shooter the rest of the time
>always asks who I'm angry at
>gives me BS homework assignments like going out with friends one weekend (implying)
>end up just telling her what she wants to hear to get her off my back
>just refuse to go after a year
>she keeps texting me for another year asking how I am
>call her a kike and block her
therapists are jews

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>>38459602
>frist session ever
>decides to be upfront and tell everything
>no holding back
>start with some dumb shit like who I am and what I like to do
>then proceeds do tell them how my life is fucked up
>[was touched when I was little
>shit dad
>abusive dad
>smoker dad who made me smoke
>mom gets a divorce
>he verbally abuses me everyday
>ruined my life by losing all his money
>i have to leave my school and friends behind
>alone
>somehow made 2 best friends
>awesome people
>one gets his neck snapped in a car acciedent
>the other shoots himself exatcly 1 year after the accident because of it
>alone again
>depressed
>no power to get up from bed
>skinny
>ugly
>anxious and self-concious]
>therapist was stunned by the speed I was telling all that shit
>stares blankly at me for 30 seconds
>"I don't know what to say Anon, I guess I'll see you next week"

>>38459602
I've gone to a psychologist for about 2 yeara now.

I occasionally rant about things like affirmative action and women in the workplace and he responds with some very typical old white man things like "they probably work harder than you." He's never suggested I take medication or anything. I guess he helped me talk to people a little bit better. Other than that, it hasn't really been worth it. Medi-Cal pays for it, so I keep going anyway. Might as well get any kind of gibs I can.

>go to therapist
>talk about my anxiety and being a KV
>prescribes marijuana and PTP
>ordered to smoke up the times a week while a 19 year old blows me

Thank you for the healthcare reform, god emperor Trump

>>38468968
Your post is 1000% fake news.

>work at a steel mill
>get a counselor through the Employee Assistance program
>want to talk to him about my anxiety at work and how it's affecting my performance
>explain self-training during 6-month probationary period, feels like an eternity and is a total garbage way to train employees but I won't get into the details
>explain that I started falling behind in training
>getting frustrated and anxious, too socially anxious to ask for help catching up so it gets worse and worse, make no progress for weeks
>management is noticing and I'm afraid I'll get fired and it's just making it worse
>he tells me he's seen this sort of thing a lot and if they wanted to fire me they would have by now
>a couple of sessions go by, mostly talking about my anxiety at work and a bit about my personal life,
>feel much better after sessions
>start having more energy for the training, start catching up quickly and feeling much better about myself
>get fired
>useless counselor was wrong about everything

>>38469442
I was offered free counseling through a employee assistance program too.

Then I do some research on these sort of things, and they seem to basically focus of things like threat assessment and shit like that. Not actually helping people.

I'd never get help through one of those employee assisstance schemes. I'd find a local healthcare/mental health provider covered by my health insurance.

>>38460996
Laughed so fucking hard

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53KB, 1192x311px

>>38459602
>mom sends me to therapy after the whole vagina-microwave fiasco
>therapist is some post menopause expired fig
>im not having this shit #rebelteen XXXDDD
>tell her im sexually attracted to guts because it will freak her out and coincides with the reason i was sent there
"l-like GORE PORNOGRAPHY!" her inner woman comes out, she looses her shit
>therapy sessions are increased to three times a week
>now assigned a nu-male cuck, typical purple sweater and seated next to a little wicker table thing with ceramic cats and shit
"do you still want to hurt people anon?"
>n-no i never wanted to hurt people i just think guts are hot
>he is visibly shaken
>take the opportunity to describe how i find dead half-eaten animals in the woods to fuck
by this point purple cuck looks like hes about to sedate the fuck out of me
>realize i may have gone too far
>tell him its because i cant focus on the whole body, just one thing at a time and guts are simple
>tells me he wants me to take some tests next time i come in
>research symptoms of ADD on family communal windows 97 using refrigerator weight monitor thicker than laundry water during fap sock wash
>answer every question on the camputor clickbait tier quiz to show signs of extreme ADD during the following session
>receive ridiculous amount of aderall
>pretend to be a normie using my supreme cognitive abilities due to constant prescription meth high

>don't have any friends, really depressed, total outcast
>was a full-on minecraft-obsessed autist that used big words and wore a fedora, and never shut up about shit no one cared about
>go to therapist
>end up finding out i'm legitmately autistic
>become self-aware and realize how much of a fucking retard i was
>stop talking in public
>become extremely anxious about interacting with people because i worry I'll come across as a complete loser autist
>still don't have friends