Do you ever feel that there is no consistency to your 'self'.

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Do you ever feel that there is no consistency to your 'self'. I am constantly being thrashed back and forth between feeling that I need to travel the world, living a life of poverty and living the normal life that I set myself up for, working at a boring job building the financial infrastructure of the 'modern economy'. And over the last few weeks I have been placing myself in increasingly and remarkably dangerous situations, such as attempting to cold cop hard drugs, despite the fact that I hardly drink and have never used drugs, and making connections with literal down-and-out degenerates. And then I go to work on Monday, study Russian obsessively after work. I have even disconnected my house from the Internet (I'm writing this from work) so that I can study and be productive, write my journal, and so on. Then on the weekend, I'm going on massive hikes in large national parks specifically without any idea of where I'm going and only enough water to be lost for far less time than it would be possible to be, I'm fucking transvestites, I'm doing hard drugs, I'm driving extremely fast on narrow roads, etc. etc. But during the week I don't *feel* as though I'm putting on the appearance of a normal person. I just feel like a totally different person when these self-destructive/thrill-seeking moods take powerful hold of me. It is increasingly odd to wake up on Monday mornings and feel like everything I did must have been a dream merely because I survived it without injury/imprisonment/etc.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?