Anyone else undiagnosed but legitimately think they're at

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>>38449653
i was thinking and at every point of my life i've been like socially behind everyone else

> first and second grade i was the weird kid that walked alone by himself during recess
>in 3rd grade got slightly more social
>pretended i was stupid so people would laugh at me
>no respect though always for example picked last for tag football and i always gave my dorritos away at lunch
>mom also set up all my play dates
>had no friends in middleschool
>moved to a new school in the 8th grade had a fresh start
>social life was much better as in I actually talked to my peers during the school day rather than taking my lunch to the bathroom
>still wasn't able to make any real friends until sophmore year of highschool
>now i just spent an entire school year at college with literally no social life literally never made a single friend
>also almost failed out

What do I do if I'm actually retarded? How will this all work out once I have to join the work force?

>>38449653
bump

hydjrhtrsrtjr

I'm pretty convinced I have to be on the spectrum. I was always saved by being above average in terms of looks but even then I'm horribly awkward in most social situations. I literally treat people I know well like I don't know them at times because I don't know what to say. I probably come off like an asshole when really social interactions confuse and terrify me.

>>38449653
bump

gshghsfhs

>>38449653
I'm pretty sure I have feminine autism or AS although I've been only diagnosed with PDD-NOS. I also probably have complex PTSD (CPTSD) and lifelong depression.

Yeah, I'm pretty positive I do.

There's always been something wrong with me that preventing me forming bonds or being able to relate to other people.
I thought it might have been a high IQ thing, but I'd see other people like that being able to socialise well.

I just want to meet somebody who understands me.

>>38449653
absofuckinglutley

>>38451108
do you have a kik or skype anon? I don't know how far gone you are but I'm pretty autistic myself so there will be more understanding then most other people.

>>38451108
I'm the same way. I always used to write off my social ineptness as being smarter than everyone but the truth is I just think differently than most other people. It's really hard for me to be close with anyone because I find the average person kind of strange, for lack of a better term.

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>That terrible feeling when you realize that you understand and relate to people just fine, it's just that no one makes even a token attempt to do the same for you

>>38449653

Go get diagnosed fucking serious.
If not you'll be 40 y.o before you know it and still be wondering
Get the doubt out
If you're autistic or retarded so what. You can't change it. You've always been autistic or retarded but at least now you know and can plan appropriately

>>38451654
>>38449653

Ha ha, you fool. Autism is the embodiment of your being. You can pretend to be a normie, you can learn all of their ways of behaving, all the subtle mannerisms, the canned phrases and repetitive dialog, but at the end of the day, it's all one big act. You cannot be "yourself" around others, because YOU are the autism incarnate. It is woven into the very fabric of your being, your incessant need to fiddle around with objects, your desire to make weird noises and say inappropriate things, the fact that you can't look a person in the eyes without some level of discomfortness, it is inescapable no matter how much you pretend. So keep on learning the extremely complex web of interactions that make up the normie world and maybe you can be a good enough actor to make the cut and infiltrate them, with all of the status, friends and gf that entails. But know at the end of the day, you will be stricken with the deep desire to just be alone, because putting up such a front is tiring and you need to recover. Because you're still autistic.

>>38449653
yes very much so : (

was not original enough

Don't know. I am, by robot standards, a Chad, but there are times so many times where I come off as a complete autist. It doesn't help that most of the people I get along with or genuinely like are autistic or introverted.

>>38451197
I bet you spend a lot of time on /pol/

i always been kind of a social retard but it got worse in the last few years, i dont think im autistic though

>>38451654
I always wondered how you get tested for shit. I thought it was just something parents did if they were afraid their child was a mong or if the parents were monged themselves

>>38449653
I'm not sure. I know for sure I'm not mentally sound, but it's hard to say whether it's autism or something else. I think it's more likely to just be anxiety and OCD.

>>38451677
>your incessant need to fiddle around with objects, your desire to make weird noises and say inappropriate things

...or maybe I am. That last one especially is driving me nuts currently.