>tfw depressed for so long you forget what happiness even

>>38428152
I wish I was able to just accept it, I thought that I was losing it and did a few stupid stuff that I regret in order to check if I could give a shit about something again.

>>38428152
Sheeeeeeit nibba

>>38428152
Know that feel man.

I haven't slept for two days. I just walked in the bathroom and soaked my sock in a small puddle of water. I turned on the laptop and 'sudo pacman -Syu' broke my system.

But I dont give a shit. I dont even see the point of pleasure anyway.

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>>38428152
I don't feel and I feel fine

>>38428152
I have been progressively depressed my entire life but my anxiety never went down. It becomes unbearable when i am around other people to the point where i feel like i can't breathe or feel like i will get a heart attack or faint. Nothing but benzos and their likes help but they are a problem as well.

>>38428742
yeah social anxiety is making my life a living hell. wish i could be like op

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>>38428152
>truly no longer give a shit about anything
That's the part I continuously can't get over. How do I lock myself out of my anxiety and become comfortably numb?

>>38428770
OP here, I'm 26 yrs old and so probably older than most ITT

I'm sure it'll just happen with age, I gradually became more and more numb when I was 21/22, that was when I stopped getting enjoyment from things and just wanted to spend all day at home and be left alone

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I'm with you OP
Everything was on my mind all the time and drove me almost mad with stress
then I snapped and quit feeling
Eventually my anxiety melted and I didn't care, and the peace it gave me allowed me the time to be happy and feel okay no matter what stupid things face me
My future can carve its own fucking self out I don't give a shit, this isn't a cheap solution, this is true peace

>>38428152
I can relate.

I play electric guitar and had my eye on an amp for a long time and i finally got it and the closest i got to happines was a "that's cool i guess."

I felt nothing. It's a good amp though

>>38428152
I've never been lucky without drugs. Some drugs just melt my anxiety away so beautifully. Lyrica is the king. I like opiates too but the anxiety just comes back harder in no time on them. Benzos were too numbing for me personally. I want to be happy desu not just non-anxious.

>>38428152
Did tou just take the first steps on the path of smug?

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>>38428770
I don't know, it just happened to me.
>play vidya, go to school, go to gym
>have fun with all of these things
>vidya stops being fun but isn't quite boring, keep playing to help guildies
>do things out of obligation to my schedule
>no passion in my life, therefore no disappointmen
>tfw unintentional stoic master

>>38428152
You need Kratom my friend

>>38428770
You have to stop givINg a shit. You still think about what people think about you. It does not matter. Just imagine how things in that situation would be different if you were dead or never existed. Funny enough I can even speak in front of millions of people with no anxiety anymore. You just go numb to it.

>>38429288
What will Kratom do? I took Phenibut and it just made me really sick