why did men invent vibrators and dildos? now we have to compete

>>38418976
Why did god invent hands? Now we have to compete with a hand and it makes us women obsolete as sex objects for men.

>>38418976
To hit our prostates when we don't have a hot top to visciously pound our boi holes

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nature already made men obsolete

>>38418976
because women were trying to fuck themselves with sticks and rocks and getting hurt. can't have our baby factories damaging themselves when they're in heat and a man can't be bothered to deal with them because he's too busy building civilization.

A rubber dildo will never compare to the feeling of a warm, pulsing, flesh cock attached to a man who's kissing you, squeezing you, and pressing against you while he thrusts in and out.

Dildos are an acceptable substitute, but they'll never compare to the real thing.

>>38418976
For money you dumbass

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I found a way to get free dildos... but i don't need any. What do?

>>38419329
can you tell me how to do that?
I'm in the market

>>38418976
Because they couldn't have their wives bothering them when they were busy fucking whores

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>>38419329
>>38419376

i saw it when i was looking for lube. there is all sorts of free shit you get if you but the lube. look under the special offers section and add the free shit to your cart along with the lube


https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Products-Personal-Lubricant-Water/dp/B01AKUHDNQ/ref=as_li_ss_tl?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=9TZVDEQ0VFEJE5CEA2NP&th=1&linkCode=ll1&tag=spbuy-20&linkId=55b6539fedf03de7bc989592af59f91f

>>38419463
I don't get it.
What does Subscribe & Save even mean?

>>38419511
don't do subscribe and save. i don't think you can get the free stuff then. just add it your cart like a normal person.

>>38419541
Oh I see what you mean.
the Special offers small section further down the page is what u need to look @, and buy normally

>why did men invent vibrators and dildos?
They thought that being a dumb/crazy bitch was medically linked to not cumming enough so they tried to vibrate the crazy/retardation out of loony broads.
So you'd call up your doctor and he'd sit in your bedroom with your wife making her cum over and over again and then you'd have to pay him.

>>38418976
So we could stick to them, and let them finish themselves.

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>>38418976
They feel really good in our butts.
Specially if you have been long enough on estrogen, your entire body gets more sensitive.

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What r9k think of my dildos?

>>38419463
Good find! thanks for the tip

>>38419706
I always wanted to try the dog ones.
Also they are all too big.
You need to down down that, it hurts.

>>38419766
Exactly, I could buy another a little more tiny but I didn't know that.

>>38419706
Lovely, for how much time have you been practicing anal stretching and what is your best achievement?

Vibrators that would have been useful to fags weren't made for a while, took until the 50's.
Dildos were probably some of the first tools hewn, but I dunno if Cavemen wanted to rip open parts of their body due to mental illness desu.

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>>38419706
>>38419766
>>38419832
Wow u guys are literally stuffing yourself with huge dildos now uh

>>38419463
Shit. I already have too much lube.

>>38419848
It's not for me, it's for my GF.

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>>38419896
>too much lube.

i didn't know this was possible

Vibrators were made by doctors to "relieve female hysteria"

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>>38419928
>It's not for me, it's for my GF.
Ah yes, stretch her hole so your tiny dicklet is even more useless.
Good thinking bro

>>38419929
I have a 32 fl oz bottle of it and one of those lasts me most of a year. This one is only 1/3 empty. I also have an 8.5 fl oz bottle of some other one that is barely used because its meh.

>>38419973
Stop watching anime and go to the street and meet real wahman.

>>38418976
They developed vibrators to cure hysteria with orgasms. This is the actual answer. Look it up

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>>38420044
I don't watch animu, I use animu reactions to make fun of faggot weebs on the internet

>>38420003
>32 fl oz bottle of lube

I respect a man who buys in bulk

>>38420190
Less of a mess too because it has a pump top. I dont need to move it to get ready.

>>38419971
>Vibrators were made by doctors to "relieve female hysteria"

d-did it work?

>>38420431
Actually yeah, suddenly hysterical women were lining up to be treated.
There's a fun movie about it with Hugh Dancy.

>>38420431
It probably made the wives act less bitchy for a few days, then she'd need another "treatment".
Hysteria was fake and gay, so the woman choosing to stop being a bitch was the cure.

>>38420431
>d-did it work?
Take a look around pal

>>38420765
Well to be fair, orgasms definitely make people less cranky.

>>38419973
>>38420094
>Step 1: have a mediocre gf you're not that into
>Step 2: Stretch her out with giant dildos make her as loose as possible
>Step 3: Dump her
>Step 4: Profit!

>>38420870
it's like nature gave us a drug then got us addicted to it

>>38419626
WE WUZ KEKS AN SHIET

>>38420914
So she's forced to date Tyrone?
Are you some kinda cuck?

do any of you have a dildo? I want to start fucking my ass. does it hurt a lot in the beginning?

>why did (((men))) invent vibrators and dildos?
Fixed.
>>38419329
>(((Bezos))) at it again
God damnit

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>>38421092
So long as you properly stretch, use lubricant, and go at your own pace, it's not very painful.
If you try to stick a 9 inch Tyrone model up your ass the first time, yeah, it'll be painful. But something like 4 or 5 inches should be fine if you ease your way into it.

>>38421039
Why would I give a fuck if she's dating Tyrone? Perhaps I'd take pleasure in the notion that she derives no satisfaction from sex anymore because the large toys made her into a roastie.

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>>38421136
>(((Bezos))) at it again

he's literally fucking us all

>Bezos slowly transforming into a super villain before our very eyes

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>>38420855
>Take a look around pal

kek

>>38420073
i remember there was a mad men episode where they have the female office intern an electric exercise belt to review... she found that it gave her orgasms and it was awkward for her to talk about.

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what kind of sex toys does she use?

>>38419329
>Buy them
>Open sex shop
>Make money at Bezo's expense

>>38418976
>women buy huge dildos for masturbation

How can the average man compete? How could a woman go from getting 9 inches shoved in to only 5?

>>38422554
better get good with your tongue

>>38422885
>the only way to compete is to be good at the least masculine sexual act

>>38421092
It's a thing that can't be rushed. So if you don't have a good deal of privacy it'll just be a souvenir. Here's a guide.

>Shave your ass hair (use a beard trimmer or something, NOT razors)
>Moisturize your freshly-cleared ass area with lotion so you don't get razorburn or rashes
>Take a shit
>Take a shower
>Finger yourself in the shower a bit to get rid of some shit, you can use lube but it shouldn't be necessary if in the shower and you go slow
>After waiting for a bit after your shower (see below), get comfy and ready
>Have your lube, paper towels, and maybe a water bottle handy
>Make sure your toy has been cleaned with either dish soap or antibacterial soap beforehand, even if you just got it
>If using antibacterial soap, leave it on the toy for 30 seconds before rinsing it off
>Make sure your toy has no sharp edges, deformations, or discoloring
>Stretch and lube with your fingers, use your fingers to gauge the width of the toy and keep doing this until you can fit that many fingers in comfortably
>Lube the shit out of everything and go at it
>Make sure to reapply lubricant as needed

Do nots:
>Do not put any soap in your ass
>Do not put any lotion or moisturizer in your ass
>Do not eat anything inbetween your shower and showtime
>Do not begin immediately after your shower, give it an hour for scientific reasons
>Do not continue if you experience pain, stop immediately, give your ass time to recover, and try again another day

I recommend pure coconut oil as a discrete lube