Times you nearly died. >be on airplane >senile lady is

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>driving with dad in the mountains
>he goes to overtake slowfuck
>the dashed lines I thought were pretty bad was on nearly s-shaped piece of highway
>As he's overtaking other truck comes around the corner
>dad slams gas to pass guy
>other guy not relenting
>Was not even a second off from head on collision
>notice all the little gravesites on the side of the highway
>niece wasn't even wearing seatbelt right
>guy we almost died trying to overtake passes us on my parents dozenth smoke break

>in elementary
>doing shotput
>go to grab my ball
>some tardo throws one not even a meter from my head

>spent all my money on ibuprofen to overdose because oneitis wouldn't reciprocate my love
>drink a bunch of liquor with it and go to sleep
>wake up feeling like burning and puking everywhere

>remember parents taking me up a tram and almost sliding down a mountain because wasn't strong enough to kick into snow and get a good grip

You do realize those doors are impossible to open because of the pressue while in flight, right?

>>38394631
This is real life, son.
An escape door wont open while midflight that easily
But good job, opening the thread with a fat big lie.

couldn't swim and jumped in the ocean and nearly drowned but my dad saved me

>>38394934

Same sort of, I swam too far out when I was like 8 but my mom didnt come to my rescue, had to sink, grip to the floor, and crawl up

"told ya not to go that far out"

>>38394832
>guy we almost died trying to overtake passes us on my parents dozenth smoke break
My mom used to do shit like that, never helped her arrive faster.
Anywho-
>8 years old
>In the car with my mom, a friend and my little brother.
>Mom parks up the street from shop that's on a steep as fuck hill
>She enters the shop with us in the car, should only be a sec
>I jump into the drivers seat to pretend I'm a big boy
>Pretend to drive the car, little brother and friend are amused.
>Car starts rolling forward
>Convinced for a moment that I was imagining things
>Start gaining speed
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>Can't reach pedals so I decide to to take to crash land this bitch
>Plow into the side of an SUV
>My mom hears some woman shout "OH MY GOD, MY JEEP"
>My mom turns around "MY FUCKIN CAR"
>Mom comes out, I'm shitting myself
>Scared more of my mom than what just happened
>Car is slightly blocking the street
>Mom is pissed as fuck
>Exchange details with woman who owned the SUV
>Turns out the handbrake in our car was faulty
>Apologised and brought chocolates to the SUV lady
>Found out she rolled the SUV into a ditch one particularly icy winter
>Still not trusted around empty cars

>>38394631
man there are too many, i just overdo everything i can

if i'll go to a luge track ill try to beat the track record at the cost of my life

i swam 50-100m from sea coast while 9 y/o cause i saw some adults so far out into the sea and wanted to beat them and fortunately some woman saved me

i just go so fucking overboard at every comptetion its not funny

im training martial arts right now and ill probably end up fighting some skinheads 1v4 at midnight and get killed

>>38395485
why skinheads where do you live that skin heads are a thing

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>riding on innertube behind a speedboat on the lake
>get bounced up in the air by a wave
>get my head trapped between the tube itself and the fabric at the bottom of the hole in the middle (it was one of the ones you can sit in)
>head is underwater and i'm 7, so i was too weak to pull myself out
>uncle dives out of the back of a moving boat, grabs the tube, and rips me out by my legs

>Go to a water park as a kid, around 9, 10
> Just go around the lazy river in one of those big inflatable rings
> the lazy river is connected to a massive open pool where at one end, every 30 minutes or so, the wave machine would turn on
>everyone would crowd into it and it would just be a mass of rubber rings and people
> After a few hours of just going around in the lazy river, I decide to go into the wave pool, this must be like 1pm so it's absolutely packed
> "Shit, I didn't think the waves went this high"
>Flips my ring over, and I fall out
>Stuck underwater, can't because it's literally like a mass of rings and people, actually trying to push up between them, but I can only get my head above water for like a second
>Suddenly just feel something grab me by my arm
> Get pulled out of the water onto a ring by some yelling Turkish guy

>>38394631
The immense difference in air pressure would stop her doing that though

>>38395485
>>38395545
also skinheads are the good guys, don't fight them

>>38394631
>Times you nearly died.
Looking at that image. Jesus H Christ anon, mooning is one of my major fetishes. Put a fucking warning on your posts next time. Nearly died from fucking blood loss into my penis

>>38394631
>tresspassed on school pitch during summer
>got chased away by two huge dogs
>climbed on fence
>waited till they got bored

i run like a nigger that day

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>>38396242
Same. Mooning, enf, and crotch-punching (male or female).

>still in womb my parents almost drove off a cliff on a foggy road
>as a kid i pushed into deep end of pool and lifeguard had to jump in and pull me out
>also as a kid random good Samaritan adult grabbed me and kids i was playing with and tackled us to the floor as a driveby shooting was happening
>almost hit by red light eaters multiple times
>teen me decide to lie to parents and say i went to school and instead i slept in and it turns out there was a shooting that happened at the busstop i normally waited at around the time i would normally be there

I live in a nicer area now but all this shit has made super cautious and super aware of my surroundings

I drove on the wrong side of the road once.
Nearly crashed.

>>38394631
You cant open the escape door on a plane while it is in the air, especially if you are a senile old lady

>>38395485
>Fighting your white brothers
Better off going to a dindu area and yelling nigger

>playing airsoft in a downtown area in 10th grade for my friend's birthday party
>walked down to a local elementary school around midnight to play airsoft
>dumbass friend is aiming his pistol, which looks like a pistol, into windows and shit
>threatens an old woman that looks out at us in fear walking down the street with what look like guns in our hands
>get to the school
>play a few rounds of capture the flag
>I'm in the playground on the top of the jungle gyms looking over the action
>all of the sudden I hear cop cars and one turns off its lights as it zooms past the school
>another car does the exact same thing in the opposite direction
>then a helicopter comes out of nowhere and shines its light on us
>luckily I was smart enough to tell everyone to put their guns down
>cops rush out of their cars and scream at us to get our hands up
>dumbass friend who was aiming his gun into windows approaches cops while waving at them with his gun in the air
>seriously thought a cop was going to pull the trigger on him for approaching in a threatening manner since they obviously still thought they were real guns
>cops put us up against a fence with our arms in the air
>turn us around
>shotgun barrel right in my face
>luckily they let us go with a warning and no citation or fine or anything

I seriously hated that guy for so long after that

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>>38396208
They are definitely not. Also we'll get you, one day anon.

>Grandma is shopping in a small store
>Very young me is fucking around outside
>This was already in a bad area full of non-whites and there was a bench outside the store with a bunch of junkies on it
>Mid-20's man keeps lifting me up and putting me down
>Thought I had made a friend
>Eventually I decide to go inside the store
>Security guard looks at him
>he begs him not to arrest him
>Pedo gets in his knees
>mfw I almost got kidnapped, didn't realise until years later

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>>38397402
NAZIS ORIGINALLY WATCH OUT

>>38394631
>be on airplane
>senile lady is looking for the bathroom
>mfw she opens the escape door
>wind rips her watch off; stewardess closes door before anyone dies.
Topkek opening an airplane door in midflight is impossible, especially for an old lady you fucking moron

>>38397047
This is very autistic please don't ever post this again

>>38397614
Rude. What is wrong with my fetishes?

The only bad fetish is BBW

>driving home from christmas
>nigger in left lane almost hits median
>overcorrects and hits me
>my car sent off of bridge
>made it out with no injuries

>>38398410
>implying scat isn't a bad fetish
Opinion discarded

>>38394631
>Hiking up Mount Missouri
>Shitty boots lose traction on the talus
>Feet fall out from under me
>Slide like 100 feet down a slight slope
>Crawl walk back up to trail
>Look back down
>Was only like 75~ feet from a fucking cliff and the grade got worse after the place I stopped at
Fuck that place, worst mountain in CO in my opinion, shitty views, shitty trail, and a literally shitty campground.

>>38397226
I've done this as well only 1 car saw me and it was going the other direction I still feel like a dumbass