>24 year old KHHV >At the mall, there's a New Age

File: 1457830884162s.jpg (8KB, 208x250px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 208x250px

>24 year old KHHV
>At the mall, there's a New Age "Crystal Healing Booth" on the way to the stylist
>Booth qt recognizes "the walk," smells blood in the water, pounces
>Too spineless to say no
>She pulls out all the stops in her playbook
>"You're frustrated that no one takes you seriously..."
>"Other people have betrayed your trust and hurt you in the past."
>(This continues for a couple minutes or so. I vacillate between playing along, but eventually I switch to full on buying it because she nailed everything perfectly)
>"Anon, these crystals will help you get over your pain and put you on the path to spiritual renewal."
>She waves them around for a few seconds
>"I can already see your aura returning to a healthy glow. You're a good person, Anon. Remember to be strong, brave, and confident. Continue to do your yoga, and stop by if you need any more healing."
>Realize that I just spend $60 to talk to some qt for a few minutes because I'm bored, pathetic, and lonely
>Return home and go upstairs to my room.
>Suddenly hear my mother yelling downstairs.
>"Someone took the $60 I put here on the cupboard. $60 that wasn't theirs!"
>My dad joins in.
>"Are you sure he took it?"
>"Yeah, he always does this."
>"Okay, I'll go talk to him--"
>"He can buy whatever he wants when he gets a paycheck!"
>Hear a knock on the door. It's my dad.
>"Champ, hey. We need to talk. Your mother and I have been talking, and we think it's time you got a job. I'm driving you around town to look for one, and I won't take no for an answer. Remember to go in there and ask for the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want the job. Simple enough, Champ?"

FML