>saunter into wall-mart, buying gift for my friends girl friends birthday
>hear them rail 24/7, because I am the roomate that is a husk of a person, paying them rent until I have another retard spree
>needs to be good, roommate says he will be thinking of kicking me out soon if I don't shape up and fly right
>buy her a sandwich press
>I count on one every day, and feel like she might like one two.
>walking the twenty yards to their yard chair, smiling more than I have in quite some time, she will love this
>trip and my jaw falls on an upturned branch
>pierces my gullet, I ruined the birthday again
Wha a whimsical tale