"It's time you got a job, Champ. You've been spending

>>38372749
Daddy, I already have a job, and it pays well, I just don't want to move out because I love you and mommy so much.

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>>38372749
I'm starting my new job as a serial killer today and you have been selected to be my first victim. Bye, daddy.

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>>38372897
"Wrong move, Champ. If you had just listened and shook the manager's hand, maybe I wouldn't have to drive you down there myself and make sure you do it."

>>38372749
I'm autistic, that's why

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>>38373059
"Champ, you could either sit there and make excuses or man up and seize the initiative. And it's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and handing him your resume. It's as easy as that, Champ."

they told me to apply online, so I'm just going to piss in a bottle for a bit and then play 20 hours of video games, my man

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>>38372749
Dad, what did I tell you about my coffee time? No chit chat till it's all gone, okay?

>>38373139
I know but I want to see you every day dad, I'm just scared something will happen

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SON, TO GET GOOD JOB, TO GET GOOD JOB
YOU MAKE SHOW UP AND SEE MANAGER
SEE MANAGER

THEN YOU MUST SHAKE HAND FIRMLY, YOU MUST SHAKE HAND FIRMLY
SHAKE HAND FIRMLY

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK OFF WITH THIS FORCED SHITTY MEME

>>38373447
Your life wouldn't be shitty if you could just give a firm hand shake

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>>38373447
"Champ, excuses are for quitters -- and I didn't raise a quitter. Now turn that frown upside down and get in the car. I'm taking you to look for a job, and I won't take no for an answer. Walk into the store and ask to speak with the manager. Stand up tall, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. It's that simple, Champ!"

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>>38373447
ah ah ah, I believe you know the rules...

*taps mug*

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>>38373493
>>38373491
>>38373497
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOUR NECK A FIRM WRINGING
LOOK ME IN THE EYE THEN
FUCKING CLOWNS

>>38373517
See? you're learning about the firmness, now go into the store, ask for the manager, and give him a FIRM handshake. Not this bitch boy baby limp dick shake, but a FIRM handshake

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>19 yo patient rushed into the ER
>Has lacerations all over body
>Sustained a gunshot wound in the lower abdomen
>Surgery recommended
>Drive him around town to look for job instead

>>38373517
>posts old stale memes in a thread dedicated to the epoch of new forced memes

really get your shit together and shake some goddam hands

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"Just walk into the store and ask to speak with the manager. Stand up tall, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. It's that simple, Champ."

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>tfw got called the wrong name over the phone
>correct them
>keep calling me Nick
>after a while start to not give a shit
I guess people don't really give a shit when you're just another drone turning the wheels.
I'm Nick now

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>>38374315
You may be Nick over there, but you'll always be Champ over here, Champ.

>>38372749
nigga where does a manager like this exist? Ive had a manager tell me were done go home when it cam to non existent work history. Jobs back then didnt have all the shit they do today. Fuck off

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>>38374602
"Did you remember to firmly shake his hand? That was your problem, Champ. But that's nothing that can't be fixed by showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. I didn't raise a quitter, Champ."