>last week I tell my therapist that I struggled with suicidal

Why didn't you smoke weed like the rest of us? Way more comfy and cheaper than a hack shrink.

Told my therapist about the same struggle. Have not been committed so I guess your therapist didn't wanna deal with you

What was it like? Also, it's common sense not to see a female psych.

>woman therapist
Now, you're right to never give these jews your money in the first place, but a man would have talked it out with you rather than be a cunt and commit your shit.
>>38372187
Yeah DUDE, let's toke spliffs and blast some Primus some time, LMAO

>>38372217

Lmao primus

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=953PkxFNiko

>>38372165
congrats on being blacklisted on any future job, tenant, college, and any other thing you have to apply for

>>38372212
It was terrifying. I barely slept at all this past week because some of the people there were so insane I thought they might kill me in my sleep.

>>38372277
Are psych holdings public information?

>>38372352
lol no, not even involuntary holds signed off on by judges

>>38372165
>telling someone you thought about killing yourself
fucking idiot, what did you expect?

>>38373060
Six years ago, though. I told her I'd never felt that way since 2011.

>>38372277
This. My cousin is basically blacklisted from ever having a life because in their background checks the psych ward visit always pops up.

>>38373084
but why would you tell her in the first place? this is the problem with therapists, they like to get inside your head and pretend to be friends.
anyone lurking, take this advice. don't trust people that you pay to maintain your only relationship

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>seeing a counselor and psychiatrist on a regular basis for the first time in my life
>have suicidal ideation
>likely a sociopath
>have sadistic traits (enjoy inflicting pain)
>sometimes hear "voices" in my head

I have not, and will not tell them everything I'm going through. I told them I was having OCD symptoms and they want to start me on antipsychotics. The psychiatrist is a fat, mouth-breathing idiot who very apparently observes me as an object--a source of peculiarities--rather than a human being with pain and inner turmoil.

>>38372165
Holy shit OP I refused to tell anyone about suicidal ideation (circa 2009-2015) for fear of being involuntarily committed until I had an episode that was bad enough to voluntarily commit myself. The difference is I'm pretty sure being 5150'd can affect your life while voluntary committing is sealed by HIPPA.
>That does it. I am never going to any kind of therapy again. Ever.
You need to find a much better doctor, and be reserved at first if you are nervous. Since getting out of the institution/rehab I've been more honest and it's been fine. Say if you are seriously fantasizing ways to kill yourself you only tell them you have intrusive thoughts about wanting to yourself/die but that you don't have any idea how you would do it. You have to have some level of conversation to get your meds right and for therapy to be helpful. Sorry you went through that.

>>38372187
Weed gives me severe panic attacks. It's not paranoia. It's severe heart racing and hyperventilating with no chance of overcoming it or falling asleep. It's misery the entire time. People kept saying if I kept trying it would get better... not so much.

>>38372352
>>38372571
Can't the military and law enforcement find out? And isn't it different in CA with 5150?

>>38372313
Sorry again OP. I went to an extremely nice place with a shared room at first and we were both on the highest surveillance, so orderlies watched us at night and shitting and showering until they lowered my status and got a single room for several weeks then a shared room with a girl who'd already been in for like 60 days and was doing well. She was kind of a cunt, but I never spent time in the room with her except for lights out until lights on (no you can't wake up too early).

>>38373283
good idea, telling someone anonymously about your issues is a good way to let off steam and ease yourself, but telling a therapist is a good way to fuck up you life
best of luck with your affliction though bro

>>38373720
A key part of not being involuntarily committed is not admitting to having a plan. So many people who see these docs at least have suicidal thoughts from time to time if not every day several times a day. What they want to know is if you just hate yourself and feel depressed and want that feeling to end or if you are creating tangible plans to actually kill yourself.

>>38373616
>being stuck in inpatient for several weeks
You're either completely off the deep end or just retarded.

>>38373475
This was/is literally me. I've found that vaporizing it can be a much more enjoyable trip, but ultimately I can smoke it and be (mostly) comfortable when I am using alone.

>>38372165
You are lucky motherfucker. I was put in there simply for fasting on fucking LENT

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>be me
>recently left voluntary stay at mental hospital
>doing pretty well
>working a part time job at the mall
>getting back into the groove of things
>want to live
>start becoming resistant to 500mg of seroquel at bed time
>doc won't prescribe more sleep meds
>use Benadryl
>become resistant to 200mg Benadryl
>desperate to sleep
>have work in the morning
>am only one with key to two stores
>take more Benadryl out of frustration
>seroquel high setting in
>unaware of such thing as Benadryl high
>benadryl high clouding my judgement
>take more
>being having intense auditory hallucinations
>believe people are coming to kill me
>motor function extremely limited
>heart is racing
>can't breath
>after easily 20 minutes of fumbling with phone manage to call 911 and tell them I think I'm dying
>manage to get inside car in driveway to be ready for ambulance
>no one believes it's benadryl
>they think I'm a drug addict afraid to tell the truth
>hard core hallucinations through the night talking to myself while on IV drip and ekg
>my heart had an extremely dangerous arrhythmia
>not allowed to leave
>I disclosed all my medical info to them for fear of death if I'm not honest
>I swear it was an accident
>I just really fucking stupid
>I want to live
>I was desperate to sleep
>slept nearly 3 days straight in hospital from the toll on my body and heavy psych meds they gave me
>leading pdoc doesn't believe I have sleeping problems
>doesn't believe I wasn't trying to kill myself
>knows I went to mental hospital since I disclosed everything
>wants to commit me
>go over my account of events several more times over several hours
>consistent every time
>vehemently deny depression and suicide
>released from care
>mfw

>>38373886
40 days
yes
yes

>>38372165
After I attempted suicide my therapist told me most psychologist would refuse to even start consueling with people who mention suicide.
He's a competent guy and I'm still undergoing therapy with him, but I hated how I was made to feel like if I had to get rid of my suicidal thoughts otherwise I wouldn't have received any kind of help from anyone else.
I don't know what it's like in other countries, but it made me lose faith in psychologists. If what he said is true most of them are a bunch of pussies who are scared to deal with the most delicate aspects of their job. My therapist even told me some colleagues of his can't fathom how anyone would want to deal with suicidal people and the associated responsibilities.

Anyway OP, I feel you. I've been in a psych ward and it sucked. Worst 10 days of my life.

>>38372165
You're omitting some detail there.

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>>38374226
>almost fired from work
>both stores didn't open until past noon
>managed to text boss I was "sick" while waiting for ambulance
>forgot I was only one with key
>no one can reach me in the morning because I"m still hallucinating
>get back to work
>get a little talking to
>I'm still a better choice than 98% of mall workers
>don't get fired
>willing to be reference when I move on to bigger things a few months later
>mfw

>>38372165
>she
That's your problem, OP. Never trust a female in any profession dealing with the mental realm.

>>38374433
>Never trust a female in any profession.
FTFY

>>38372165
This is bullshit. There is no legal way that she could have you put in the psych ward for saying that you were suicidal 6 years ago. You must have said or done something else that you aren't telling us.

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>>38374716
Not OP but I can definitely affirm that they are able lawfully to lock you away for any minor reason. If they don't like a single aspect of your personality, or happened to be in a bad mood that day they can lock you up no questions asked. If you try to take it to court they will likely just make up evidence as what is in my case.

Don't go anywhere near therapists, but by God never go within 5 miles of a psychiatrist.

>>38372352
In NYS, they can be seen if you have any kind of backround check done.

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I used to work at a psych hospital and all i can say is one should only go if it's absolutely necessary. And also try to get into a comfy one.
pic unrelated

>>38372187
Not everyone here is underage

I am planning on killing self soon.
Preferred choice is drowning.
I know of a cliff with a bar on top.
Plan is to get very, very drunk and jump.
Not sure what to do with car. It will be left there.
Maybe leave key at bar so that someone can pick him up.
Car is named Binky. I love him.

>>38374226
Try melatonin. It works wonders.

>>38376040
maybe seek help and turn it all around anon, drowning is a horrible way to go anyway.

>>38376638
It's been corrected a lot since then. I was on a ridiculous cocktail that was just messing with me hard core. I have dissolvable melatonin tabs for quick impact, also tinctures of valerian, skullcap, chamomile, lemon balm, passion flower, albizia, and also I have kratom and xanax. I don't use any of it often but I have a large array handy just in case.

>>38372165
>thinking it would help you to begin with it
normie.

>therapist
>she

Ah, there's your problem. You trusted a woman to understand male struggles.

>>38374545
>never trust a female
FTFY

>>38372165
i feel ya anon i leave little hints at work i recently got an entry level job in the feild i wanted and i am doing alright i am even a lead for the moment but i also have UC which is the cousin of chroms desiease and i purposly dont take care of myself if i lose this job i will hang myself i keep a rope in my closet even told one of my co workers this its not like anybody will remember me anyways i am drifter i have been at community uni for like 3 years now never had the chance to travel or go to a big uni before i kill myself i will get myself into debt and try and go to a college out somewhere in a big city like boston and pull out a grant currently i have no debt becasue i did so good that they just pay for it here but this place albuqerque NM is a shithole full of spics and gang members

seriously how the fuck does a bullet kill someone instantly wouldnt it just make a hole and the rest of the brain would work fine or would a slug point blank blow a head to pieces?

Would a shotgun to the head probably be instant and unsurvivable if someone put a shotgun aimed right between the eyes point blank? Buck shot or slug? Could anyone save you even if you were on an operating table?

>>38372165
Did you never get the memo? Never talk about suicide.

You could literally talk about how you want to beat the shit out of girls in bed or how you hear crazy voices and you're golden as long as you never mention suicide.

>>38376901
Alot of the functions are interconnected i presume, knock out one link and the chain is broken

Got put in one for half a day back in April. I had my own room that was monitored and the furniture was shitty chairs and a bed made of that same stuff they use in childrens fun houses. It was more like an observation facility than a hospital and it was one of if not the most unnerving experience of my life. I only got out because I blagged them into thinking my dad would be staying with me for a while to make sure I was ok.

Never again am I going to go through that shit if I can help it.

>>38376831
>never trust
FTFY

>talking about suicide instead of an actual problem you have

>>38373438

There's no point in telling a therapist your suicidal tendencies. Or rather, there's too much risk involved. You are protected under something like a client-lawyer privilege. The doctor has the freedom to involuntarily imprison you, with little recourse on your end.

Until suicide becomes legal, the medical community isn't interested in helping you.

>in high school
>tell therapist about my lifelong gender dysphoria
>say that I want to be a girl so badly that sometimes I wish I was never born and sometimes I want to die
>institutionalized
>psyche ward puts me down as female on my wrist band and puts me in the section with girls I guess because they think I'll be more comfortable there even though all I wanted was for people to NOT know about those feelings and I would have rather they just put me in with guys so I could just keep to myself
>psychotic cunts bully me, torture me and molest me and they have to keep cycling my roommates the entire time I'm there
>finally get out
>homelife is horrible because therapist told my parents that I want to be a girl and parents are completely against it


Modern mental health system in america is fucking horrible

>>38376012
Dunno why that had anything to do with it, I'm 19 and smoke regularly to keep the depression at bay and it works for me, it makes me too tired to care and I focus on the pleasures in life like food and gaming when I'm high

>>38373283
I feel like I'm schizoid or just going loopy but I can't tell my therapist the whole truth either. She doesn't know shit about me except I 'game' all day (4chan) and have no routine and depression. She's too normal to understand anything about my real problems. That's why I come here because there's a lot of loopy cunts like me here who are probably in similar positions

But if I can't get meds/therapy I got no options left. Why is there no middle ground where I can say, I want to die and the can say, ok let's talk about that