>got obsessed with columbine 2 months ago >having very

>>being lonely with no friends and family makes me think I have nothing to lose
>I don't want to go a psych ward and be there for the rest of my life.

Those are two contradictory statements.

Psych wards are overcrowded. They won't lock you up for a long time if you haven't done anything.

Lol you stupid little bitch! If I saw you in real life I would kick your ASS!!! Watch your back son.

I never got mass shooting or school shootings. You think you are showing them, but you are just showing them that they are right about you.

>>38369812
School shootings are memes. At the end of the day what do you really get out of it and how does it even affect society? Like take one of r9k's favorites, Elliot Rodgers. He didn't even kill any of the sorority sluts he wanted to, never got laid, and even now r9k is starting to forget about him (there are a lot less threads now compared to this time a year ago, for example). You've probably got some other issues and obsessing over violent fantasies is just a form of escapism.

>inb4 Op gets v&

>>38370008
So then what are you looking for? Hard to imagine that there aren't better options.

>>38369812

Well, clearly you're spending a lot of time researching, planning and fantasizing about mass shootings. Maybe just find something else to spend that time on and occupy your thoughts with? I mean, to me you're describing a pretty clear process of warming yourself up to the task; if you don't want to do it, just quit that process. Spend less time on thinking about insults towards yourself, or looking for them in casual conversation, or assuming everything that seems like an insult is. Spend less time thinking about evil and coming up with other rationalizations for murder. Spend less time thinking about what you'd do and how you'd do it. And spend more time doing something else, thinking about that something else, fantasizing about that something else.

It really reads like you just picked a bad "hobby," so to speak. Mental health help wouldn't hurt, but I think the big thing will just be finding something else to do with your time. Like shitposting on /r9k/.